- Spencer kindly glues Bryan's ears back on after they fell off when Kai shouted at him. But… Spencer makes a mistake. Oneshot side-story from 'Unknownity'. Set between chapters 3 and 4.

- WARNINGS: Lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of swearing, and Spencer-abuse.

- Disclaimer: Not mine, amigos.

- A/N: To understand why Kai was shouting at Bryan so much in order for his ears to fall off… You'd have to read up to and including chapter 3 of 'Unknownity'. Then this happens…

Waxy Mistakes

"When I see that fucking Hiwatari again, with my ears intact, I am going to fucking kill him," Bryan grumbled as Spencer sat him down at their kitchen table.

"Bry, just chill. It was your own fault for teasing him and Tala."

"He didn't have to rip my fucking ears off! Literally!"

"Don't your lack of ears hurt?"

"No. Just feels fucking weird."

"Hold still, and I'll glue them back on."

Spencer went into the living space, to find the tube of super glue he'd previously been using to glue a button back to one of his shirts. Super glue was Spencer's answer to everything.

Whilst Spencer was searching for the glue, Bryan was still sat in the tiny kitchen, feeling where his ears used to be, and were now just holes. He looked miserably at his two ears, which were currently lay on the table, and vowed to rip off Kai's ears to see how he liked it.

"Right, lugless," Spencer joked, announcing his presence, "face the wall and don't move whilst I stick these nasty, waxy things back on.

"Shut the fuck up," Bryan growled, but faced the wall Spencer pointed to, anyway.

Spencer picked up the ears, and tried to work out which way was up, which was down, and which side each ear should go on. When he was fairly confident he knew which went where, he plonked them back down on the table, and opened the glue.

"You'd better fucking get this right," Bryan said. "I don't want to fucking walk around with wonky fucking ears or something."

"Will. You. Just. Chill. How hard can it be to glue ears on correctly?" Spencer said, squeezing some of the glue onto the edge of one of Bryan's ears.

"Don't ever say the fucking words, "how hard can it be?". Every time you do, something goes the fuck wrong."

Spencer raised his eyebrows, and lowered the ear he was holding.

"Do you want to glue your own ears back on?"

"Do you want to shut the fuck up?"

Spencer tutted, and poured a little more glue on the ear he was holding. He was about to stick it back onto Bryan, when he fumbled a bit with it, and dropped it on the floor.

"You stupid fucker. What if that ended up glued to my knee or something?!" Bryan snapped, watching Spencer pick the ear back up.

"You could hand your 'blading gloves in and become a full-time grasshopper?" Spencer joked, pressing the ear firmly to the side of Bryan's head.

"Ha, fucking, ha," Bryan said sarcastically, rolling his eyes.

Spencer drew back from Bryan's now reattached ear, and looked at it for a moment. Something didn't look quite right, but he brushed it off, and reached for the second ear. As he put some glue on it, he could hear Bryan muttering to himself.

"The stupid fuckers. If they weren't both so fucking blind, I'd still have my fucking ears attached. I bet if it was me who fucking tore Hiwatari's ears off, Tala would take him to the fucking hospital. But all I fucking get is fucking superglue."

"Don't you think you say the word 'fuck' too much?" Spencer asked, as he pressed the other ear onto the other side of Bryan's head.

"Not at fucking all."

Spencer let go of Bryan's ear, and went to get his hairdryer (well, it wasn't actually his… He'd 'borrowed' it off Tala) so he could speed up the drying process. He returned to the kitchen, and plugged in the hairdryer. As he held the hairdryer to each of Bryan's ears, he couldn't help but chuckle at the fact that Bryan was glaring. At nothing. He was just staring at the table, with one of the biggest glares plastered on his face. He was probably cursing his own stupidity.

After a few minutes, Spencer turned off the hairdryer and went to get a mirror (which he also 'borrowed' from Tala - it made him wonder how Tala never noticed any of his things going missing) so Bryan could see his reattached ears. Spencer himself thought he'd done a good job - until he was about to hold the mirror up in front of Bryan. Then his expression turned to one of horror.

"What the fuck's wrong with you?" Bryan asked.

Spencer's horrified look intensified when Bryan held his hand out for the mirror. Spencer immediately hid it behind his back, determined not to let Bryan look at himself.

"Spencer, give me the fucking mirror," Bryan demanded, still holding his hand out for the mirror.

"Erm… No… It smashed, and so you won't be able to see anything…" Spencer said, shaking his head.

"That's a fucking lie. Give me the damn mirror!"

Spencer shook his head again, and hit the mirror against the side of the kitchen table, making it smash.

"See? I told you it was broke!"

"Spencer… What the fuck have you done to my ears?"

"Your ears? Erm, nothing. I glued them back on like you asked… This mirror was just broke, and, erm…" Spencer trailed off.

Bryan raised his eyebrows, and headed for the bathroom. Spencer tried to stop him, but Bryan was quick, and locked the bathroom door behind him.

"Don't look in the mirror, Bryan!" Spencer yelled through the door.

Bryan shook his head, and stepped towards the mirror. As he got closer to it, he realised something was wrong with his ears… They looked… Upside-down. As Bryan took a good long look in the mirror at his ears, he saw that his ears looked upside-down because they WERE upside-down!

"SPENCER, I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU!"

The bathroom door slammed open, and Spencer suddenly looked very tiny to Bryan, as he was cowering in a corner at the far side of the room.

"I'm sorry, OK! I dropped one and then forgot which way it went up!" Spencer tried to explain, as Bryan walked towards him, his hands outstretched, ready to throttle the blonde.

"You fucking FORGOT which way ears go up? YOU BLITHERING IDIOT!" Bryan shouted.

Spencer made a small "eep!", and bolted for the hotel room door, but found it was locked, and Bryan had the key. Spencer turned around, and pressed his back to the door. He watched as a livid Bryan made his way over to him, with the super glue and a carrot in his hands.

"What are you going to do with that?" Spencer asked in a small voice.

"Well," Bryan began evilly, as he stood over Spencer, who had sank to the floor, "you know you said you've always fucking wanted to be a fucking unicorn…"

A/N: As for why it didn't hurt when Bryan had a lack of ears… Maybe he's just immune to pain. Or maybe his ears weren't real, but were just stuck on with glue beforehand, anyway? I also like how I managed to work the words, 'fuck', 'fucking' or even 'fucked' into every sentence he said…

As for why Spencer glued them on rather than sewed them back on, or took Bryan to the hospital… Spencer strikes me as the dim kind, for some reason…

As for why this side-story came into existence… It was MarianQ's fault. She asked me if I could do this side story, because she had images of Spencer dropping an ear, and then forgetting which way was up… Thanks MarianQ, I loved writing this :D

Don't flame me for the stupidity of this story. It was merely all in the name of fun!!