Across The Nightingale Floor: extra scene
That night, after my fight with Kaede, I lay in my room, trying my best to fall asleep. However the lightning did not help. Seeing Kaede fight sparked something in me. I saw her in a new light. The fact that she could fight so fiercely and still keep her composure, made her not only bewitching, but she became more tantalizing. I never thought that that much power could come out of this delicate girl. My heart raced whenever I saw her flush. The image of Kaede dominated my entire mind. I tried to resent her, tried to think of every possible flaw, but it was quite impossible. She was the quintessential beauty- elegant, youthful and radiant. Her presence always took over the entire room. Every time I thought about her, thought about her pristine skin, I can't help but be reminded of the fact that she is betrothed to Lord Otori. I didn't mean to fall in love with her. I didn't expect it to happen. When I saw Kaede, I fell in love with the curves of her shoulders, the softness of her plump lips, the angles of her collarbone. I fell in love with every fibre of my being. I feel a blissful feeling in my stomach that I've never felt before. I wonder if she thinks about me whenever I hear her heartbeat slowly rising at night. I can hear it now actually...
But I know I can't have her; nevertheless, I can't help but fantasize the future we could've had. I think of wiping my thumb across her cheek whenever she would cry or to soothe her to sleep when she's restless at nights like these. When I was with her fighting, I felt as if I've done something so terrible, I tried to not to tell her I loved her, I tried choking down the feeling as best as I could. However, her eyes met mine, like a prayer for which no words exist, and I felt my heart-taking root in my body, like I've discovered something I can't find a name for. It was a strange feeling. It's one of the best and worst feelings in the world; being absolutely and utterly in love with someone. Someone I cannot have. It all feels so right though; as if destiny made it that she was meant for me, and only me. Love makes me feel vulnerable. I want to tell her how much I adore her even if I've known her for a short while; however, I cannot fathom the words.
The frustration and sudden loneliness took over me and I needed to get some air. I propped myself up from the mattress with one arm. I buried my hands in my face. I have lost sleep over the past few days. I can't help thinking about Kaede marrying Lord Otori. I doubt that Kaede will marry Lord Otori, but the thought still did not comfort me. I stood up and left the room. The grass was wet from the rain and the wind was bitterly cold. I stood outside for a while before I heard Kaede call for Shizuka.
"Shizuka? Are you out there?" I heard her murmur. After a few minutes, Shizuka did not arrive, so I decided that it was my opportunity to speak to her in private. I cautiously made my way to her, trying my best not to startle her. I wanted to so badly to talk to her. I did not care if what I did was wrong. I just needed to see Kaede's face and comfort her if I can. I was walking up to her door when I already caught her eyes on me. A smile eased onto her face and did not look away. Her smile was contagious. The corners of her lips hooked themselves onto my heart. Her smile brought a sparkle of vigor to her empty eyes. It was incredible.
"Good Evening Lord Takeo. What are you doing up so late at night?"
"I should ask you the same Lady Shirakawa." I couldn't help but smile, as I didn't know that this playful side of Kaede existed. Her voice comforted me; her tongue gliding beautifully over her perfect teeth.
"Would you like to come in Lord Takeo? You must be freezing." I nodded and stepped inside. I sat down at the foot of her bed and she sat across me, studying me. I got to know her that night. How we were both plucked from our childhood and how we both missed our mothers so much. I learnt about her being held captive and about the guard almost raping her. I looked at her and forgot to think about what I was going to say.
"I think I love you…" Only then did I realize how foolish I was and how I jeopardized this whole arrangement. Kaede's cheeks flushed but she then said through gritted teeth "Get out. Please." When she became angry her soothing voice became cold like ice and her eyes seconded the notion. She turned away and I could hear her start to cry. I reached out to try and apologize for what I did but I decided that it was better for me to leave. I got up and stood by the door to still find Kaede sulking in the corner. Why was she crying? Did she not want me to love her? Was all I thought. "If nothing else, I hope that you know that I love you with every ounce of my being. I hope you realize your importance not only to me but to everyone who has been fortunate to know you. I hope you know that when you are feeling down, I only ever strive for your happiness. I hope you remember that no matter what, I will be here for you and I fully intend on staying in your life for quite some time. I hope you recognize the fact that I appreciate and adore you without restrains and that this, will never change." I left and headed back to my own bed. I poured my heart out for her. All the things unsaid, I said it. I did not realize that tears were streaming down my face. I fell asleep that night feeling something I've never felt before and never wish on my worst enemies: heartache.
I woke up that morning to a cool breeze and a subtle melancholy feeling, right in the pit of my stomach. It was the kind of melancholy that you can feel fading. Like the settling sun, painting the sky with an entire spectrum of colour. I woke that morning feeling that image of Kaede and I fading. It makes me sick how painful the feeling is. The way my body aches with self hatred. The way my mind spins with hopeless thoughts. The way it poisons me. Kaede, you've caused me the greatest pain I've ever known, yet the thought of you is more beautiful than any dream I can imagine. My heart aches and breaks for you.
A.N Hey guys! sorry about me being inactive! I've been super busy but thank you all for the support you have been giving me!
This is something a little different. I don't usually write for this type of fandom or ship. But this is my english work. Please review it :)