Chapter 1: Ask Near?!
Mello walked into the room he shared with his best friend Matt to find an unexpected sight. Matt was looking more depressed than Mello had ever seen him. He was sitting on the edge of his bed with his head hanging and all of his games turned off.
"Hey...Matt, what's wrong?" Mello asked, more concern slipping through his tough exterior than he usually allowed. Matt's head shot up and he stared at Mello.
"I...I failed the last test," Matt murmured, his voice shaky.
Mello blinked. "It's only one test," he said, not seeing the problem.
"But I failed it Mello, failed!" Matt shouted, his voice rising as he struggled to make his best friend understand. "And Kia's close to surpassing me," he added in a whisper.
Mello's eyes widened as everything clicked. "Then you have to figure out what you did wrong and retake that test!" he insisted.
Matt's eyes sparkled, but a voice in the back of his mind nagged at his. Were you really so depressed that you couldn't see the solution? it asked.
"You understood it, right?"
"Er..."
"Mello...?"
Mello looked away. "You know I'm not good at explaining anything," he grumbled. Matt's face fell and Mello's stomach lurched with guilt. He braced himself to give the redhead advice that he himself would never follow.
"Go ask Near."
Matt's eyes widened under his tinted goggles.
"Near?" he asked, shocked, "but you hate him!"
"I know," Mello snarled, "but he can probably explain it better than I can!"
Matt hesitated, then got up. "Fine," he sighed.
He left the room and headed towards the playroom. Mello watched him go.
---
Near fit the last piece of his white puzzle, the piece with the black "L" on it, into place and looked up. His rival's best friend, Matt, stood in the doorway watching him. Near easily hid the surprise he felt.
Matt took a step into the room, fidgeting nervously. Near observed that for once he didn't have one of his handheld games with him. Uncharacteristically concerned (though hiding it effectively), Near turned his full attention on the older boy.
"Near," Matt started hesitantly, "I...I need a little help..." he looked ashamed to have said those words aloud.
Near was surprised, to say the least. He had never heard Matt or Mello ask for help. "Why are you asking me?" he responded, "Why not Mello?"
Matt blushed fiercely, feeling like something had backfired. "H-he's terrible at explaining things," Matt answered hurridly. Near gazed at him for a couple seconds in silence.
"What's giving you trouble?"
Matt's shoulders relaxed slightly and he started toward Near.
"Everything on that last quiz," he grumbled, embarrassed. His skin, which had begun to cool, reddened again.
Near gazed at him calmly. "Did you use the Pythagorean Theorem?" he asked.
Matt blinked, his blush gone. "Pythagorean...Theorem?" he repeated.
Near nodded. "Yes, everything on that quiz used either the Pythagorean Theorem or the Quadratic Formula, with the Theorem being the more common of the two," he added.
Matt stared. "You aced that quiz didn't you?" he asked. Near didn't answer, confirming Matt's suspicions. He turned away silently and dumped his puzzle.
"Near?"
"If you come to my room later, I'll help you."
---
Matt stood in the middle of Near's room that night. He had arrived before the other boy and discovered that the room was mostly plain. The walls were white, the carpet was white, and even the sheets were white--it looked like a room in an asylum. Toys were piled in one corner and a book had been left on the table at Near's bedside. Matt walked over and picked it up.
The cover read Ghost Hunting by Jason Hawes and Grant Wilson. Matt stared at it. Near actually read this stuff? He looked up as the door opened quietly and Near entered the room. He shut the door behind and looked at Matt.
"You're here," he stated. It wasn't a question.
"You didn't specify a time," Matt pointed out.
Near gazed at him unblinkingly. Matt grew nervous under his deadpan gaze and glanced down at the book in his hands.
"So...do you actually read this stuff?" He held the book up.
"I attempt to find reasons for anomalies that the investigators may have overlooked at some point," Near replied.
"Oh."
Awkward silence.
"Why are you here Matt?"
Matt looked up. "You told me to be," he responded. Didn't the white-haired boy remember?
Near's gaze was still blank, though suspicion flashed in the depths of his eyes.
"But do you really need help? It's not just something for Mello?" he pressed.
"Yes, I really need your help!" Matt cried, "Kia's about to surpass me and if I can't figure this stuff out then she will!"
Near blinked. "I understand now," he said calmly. Matt glared, hating him for being able to keep his calm demeanor.
Suddenly Near held out a textbook. "Show me what you don't get," he requested. Blinking, Matt took the book and opened it. The only sound for a few moments was the movement of paper as Matt quickly riffled through the pages. Near watched him in silence, his gaze taking in every action, from the twitch of Matt's fingers to the slight rise and fall of his chest.
"Here."
The one word startled Near from the reverie he'd fallen into. He took the book from Matt and glanced over the page. "I see," he muttered.
"This stuff is a bitch," Matt commented with a sigh. Near glanced at him, then paused. Matt's goggles were down around his neck, revealing that his eyes were bright green.
Noticing that Near was staring at him, Matt smiled slightly. Near blinked and continued to stare. The silence buzzed in Matt's ears, making him uncomfortable.
"So...can you help me?" he asked finally.
"Yes," Near replied as if it was a stupid question, sitting on his bed. Matt tossed Ghost Hunting aside.
"Will you?" Matt tried, wondering if Near was the kind of person who would only answer questions when they were put to him directly.
Near held Matt's questioning gaze steadily. "Yes," he answered in his usual monotone.
"When?" Matt ventured.
"Whenever you want," Near replied.
Matt hesitated. "Is now okay?"
Near nodded and Matt sat down on the bed beside him, then paused.
"Would you mind if I put on some music?" he asked. Near looked as exasperated as it was possible to when a person has no expressions, but he motioned for Matt to go ahead and play whatever he was going to.
Matt pulled out a bright green iPod and turned up the volume to play "Voices In My Head" by Mayonaka Soñodora. The voice of the band's lead vocalist, Saya, burst from the earbuds along with a beat from the drummer, Fuji, and chords from the guitarist Ai and the bassist Cho. The voice of Bachiko, the background vocalist, soon joined in. Near surprised Matt by stopping to listen to the song.
"I hear sounds no one else does, Cries of sorrow, cries of pain, Can't hold on any longer, I'm falling down tonight.
"Whispers in the darkness!"
"In the darkness."
"Music in the silence!"
"In the silence."
"Voices in my head!"
"In my head!"
"Can't get away!"
"They're driving me crazy."
"Can't get away."
"Can't get away."
"'Come on, come on' they say."
"Come with me."
"'Come on, come on' they whisper."
"Follow me."
"Am I dying?"
"Am I going insane?"
"Whispers in the darkness!"
"In the darkness."
"Music in the silence!"
"In the silence."
"Voices in my head!"
"In my head!"
"Can't get away!"
"They're driving me crazy."
"Can't get away."
"Can't get away."
"I can no longer hear you! All I hear is them!"
"They tell me that you left me! They say I'm all alone!"
"Someone please save me!"
They started working as "Lovesongs (They Kill Me)" by Cinema Bizarre began playing. They were near-silent all through that song and "She's A Rebel" by Green Day, "Decode" by Paramore, "Welcome To My Life" by Simple Plan, "Imaginary" by Evanescence, "What Have You Done" by Within Temptation, "Refugee" by Tribal Ink, "Eyes On Fire" by Blue Foundation, and "Flightless Bird, American Mouth" by Iron & Wine. Then Near spoke directly to Matt about something other than math as "Forever Or Never" by Cinema Bizarre played.
"If you keep holding your pencil like that, people will think you're a smoker," he remarked.
"I am," Matt replied nonchalantly.
Near stopped and stared at him. The other boy held the pencil in his lips as one would with a cigarette. Matt glanced up at him.
"How long?" Near asked, hiding his curiosity and concern.
"About a year, whenever I can get a cigarette. Mello can usually get some for me," Matt replied.
Near stared at him for a couple seconds, then changed the subject.
"Do you understand now?" he asked, laying a hand on the textbook. Matt nodded.
---
The next night there was a knock on Near's door. The snowy-haired youth got up from where he was buliding towers with blocks and opened the door to find Matt on the other side. His heart leapt for reasons he couldn't explain.
"Hey," said Matt, "Do you think you could help me out?" He held up a thick textbook.
Near nodded and opened the door wide enough to admit the redhead.
---
-6 Weeks Later-
-Near's PoV-
Since I've been helping Matt to understand his work (even when we both know he doesn't need it), I've notices changes in myself. I find myself staring at Matt and completely spacing out. I think about him more than anything else, even when I'm supposed to be working on a case or assignment. It used to bother me when people interrupted anything I was doing, but when the interrupter was Matt I didn't even question my willingness to focus my attention on him instead of whatever I had been doing. Something in the back of my mind tried to tell me that I might be in love with Matt, but I knew it couldn't be true. I assumed it must have been because he was the only one who paid attention to me enough to be called a friend...my first friend.
-Matt's PoV-
Mello is my best friend, and I know he hates Near, yet I find myself enjoying the increasing amount of time I spend with the anti-social boy. I've never thought of myself as being gay before, but my attraction to Near changes things. He seems so emotionless at times that I just want to hold him close until I coax a reaction out of him. I wonder what he thinks and feels and sometimes I'm afraid that his mind is too full of what he knows for him to believe in love. Over the past six weeks I've thought more than I should about Near and the time I've spent with him, finally managing to come to one conclusion I believe is true: I love him.