She woke in the night. Not for the first time. And not for the last.
The night had become familiar to her, the stiff air and silence brought comfort. Though recently even the night time wasn't calm. In the years before, it was a time when she read or had time to think or took a long walk when she couldn't sleep. These last nights were nothing like the past. She found herself more anxious, stressed and tired and even less able to sleep.
Victoria knew something was nearing. What it was is still a mystery. The mystery is what terrifies her, unknown and new were the scariest things in her mind. Tonight's new and unknown destination happened to have landed her in the kitchen, clutching at her abdomen. Victoria has been sick before, more than most people actually, in her childhood she always seemed to have something. A headache, fever, ear ache, sore throat, upset stomach, lung infection, a cold, the flu, pneumonia. The list goes on and on. It didn't come without consequences. Being separated from most kids and confined to her bed for long whiles had left Victoria with an inability to cope in social situations.
As she thought, a sudden, uncomfortable swirling forced her to lurch, instantly grateful she was stood next to the sink. Comfort was unreachable in the next moments, feeling the worst she might ever have. The kitchen wasn't close to anyone's bedrooms, no one would be disturbed by her gagging and retching, thankfully.
She hadn't accounted for several things. Number one: they have a baby in the house with sensitive ears that can hear everything. Number two: her sister is the mother of that baby.
In the silence a small, shrill and whiny cry, followed by calming whispers. This followed by descending foot steps, followed by hushed concern. Elena came in.
"Victoria?" In the dark Elena could only hear, not exactly understanding what was going on. She turned the light on. The bulbs flickered on and... and Victoria let a sob slip out.
"Victoria! ¿Qué pasará?"
"I'm okay hermanita, I just ate too much at dinner." Victoria said calmly. As soon as she said it she knew it sounded like the biggest lie ever, she barely even ate dinner and here she was throwing it back up. Elena chose to ignore the lie, much more important tasks at hand. She pulled Victoria down into a hug, whispering sweet comforting words to her. Victoria sank into the loving embrace, her sister's strong arms holding her tightly to her chest, gently stroking her aching back. Elena's warmth was comforting.
Victoria let her sister drag her to a kitchen chair, batting her hands away when they instinctively went to her face to feel for a fever. Her voice horse from vomiting Victoria reassured, "Its nothing hermana, I feel fine."
"Victoria, people don't throw up for no reason." Elena fussed over her, like a mother over a small child.
"I just ate too much." Elena gave her a look that said 'That is the biggest load of lies I have ever heard'. Which is true, it was a big load of lies.
"You have to eat something, before you can throw up from eating too much." Her sister whispered, sitting down on the chair opposite, Victoria physically twitched as sharp, shooting pains ran through her, she caught her lie. She felt the comforting movement of hands running up and down her arms, they were cool against her hot skin.
Elena offered, "Do you need anything? I can get mamá or papá."
"I'm not a little girl." Victoria was grown, she didn't need her mother every time she felt unwell. Elena nodded, wiping softly at her eye.
"Mamá and papá don't need to know." She was serious, determined that they really didn't need to be involved, Elena thought differently, that Victoria might really need help this time. But she put her own thoughts aside for the moment. If Victoria refused help from their parents, then Elena would step in. As she had done from they were small. With Victoria's weak immune system it had become second nature, after all it did happen often. She knew the steps. Ask what's wrong, check for fever, make her drink water, ask if she wants anything and put her to bed. It was easy.
Or it would be easy if Victoria wasn't trying to lie her way out of it.
Elena peered at her sister. She was sweaty yet shaking with chills, her hand moved to rub her neck.
"You need water," she stated, already standing, "you're going to get dehydrated."
Opening the cupboard and reaching for a glass, she filled it about halfway with water, then slipped it into Victoria's hand. It shook and tilted on its way to her mouth. She only took half of a sip before putting it down again.
"Vicky, drink more." Elena put the glass back in her hand, but she set it down once more.
Victoria looked down, letting her head hang low for a few seconds. Her hands went back to her stomach, she explained to Elena, "It's going to come back up."
"Please just try a little more." The glass went back up to her lips, she hesitated before she swallowed another mouthful. Unfortunately as soon as it went down, it came straight back up, having her head in the sink. Elena hurried to her side, pulling all of her waist-length hair away.
She screeched out, "Victoria! Oh I'm so sorry."
Resting her head in her hands, for the first time that night Victoria realised how awful she felt. Every inch of her body ached intensely, her neck so stiff that it was agony just to move, and she shook with chills from top to bottom. Maybe she never noticed how ill she was before but now it was clear.
Everything was hazy. The world had a foggy feel to it. Maybe fresh air would help to calm her ever rising nerves.
"Take me outside, I need to breath fresh air." She demanded, already tying her robe tighter.
Elena brushed at her hair, past concerned and moving on to panicked, "Victoria, I think that you should go lay down again."
"Now." Pushing off of the countertop with her palms she swayed unsteadily as a flower in the wind, catching herself on a chair. From behind, Elena grabbed Victoria's elbow, letting herself be used as a human crutch. Against her better judgement, they walked outside for a few steps, before coming to a stop at a bench and sitting down. The cool air felt incredible against Victoria's hot skin even if it was making her shiver violently. Elena looked up at her, extreme worry pouring from her eyes.
"Lena, why are you crying?"
Elena exploded, "Because you never stop doing this! You overwork yourself so much and get so sick! You scare us every time, I keep thinking you're not going to get better. Maybe this time you won't..." The sisters watched each other, deciding what to say next.
Elena gave in first, she wailed violently, barrelling her head onto her hermana's chest. Victoria froze. She ignored the horrendous jolt of pain it sent through her head and stomach. Slowly, she placed her arms around Elena's back. A hug. Something Victoria isn't fond of, unlike Elena. Strangely, despite their similar upbringing, they could not be more different people, one with emotions that burned more brightly than the sun and one with emotions as distant as the stars. Victoria never understood her family's need for physical affection, however, if it made her sister stop crying, she was willing to do anything.
"I'd never want to scare you," she paused, searching for the right words, "I'm sorry that I did… I know that the family will do fine without me." She didn't quite know why she'd said that last part, maybe… maybe it was a warning.
"Huh? Victoria don't say that! You have to promise me you'll get better. Promise!"
Looking at her baby sister's teary eyes it dawned on her that what she said might have upset her. She stayed silent, not wanting to say anything else wrong.
"I don't want to watch you die." 'You aren't going to.'
Elena kept talking, not stopping to wait for a reply that would never come.
"Do you not see what I see when I look at you? It's sickly and feeble - you're too skinny! You look like fragile glass." They held their arms up side by side, and sure enough, Victoria's arm looked about half the size of Elena's. Had it always been like that? If someone were to poke Elena in her belly they'd feel fat and muscle and all normal things. Doing the same to Victoria you wouldn't feel any of that, just skin and bones.
They sat with nothing else to say. The air was chill, causing Victoria to shiver harder. Elena dried off her tears deciding to look around at the night sky. Gradually they both grew more and more exhausted, to the point were neither one could keep their eyes open but neither did they want to move back inside, they both knew eventually they would have to, it was too cold to stay outside.
A sound startled them. It made the pair jump right out of their skin. They both scrambled to find the source of the noise, looking up, then down and side to side, it wasn't until something was actually nuzzling Victoria's foot that they discovered who had been the cause of the sound.
"Is that-?"
"No-no that's not... wait."
"It looks like her!"
"Pepita?" They said in unison. The cat looked remarkably like Pepita, they would almost go as far as to say it was Pepita. Almost. It was impossible for it to really be Pepita, she had died years ago when the girls were only teenagers. But this cat looked so like her, it was even acting like Pepita. She was scratching and scraping at Elena's knee with her furry tail wrapped around Victoria's elbow, even beginning to tear a hole in Elena's pyjamas on the spot it clawed at.
Taking the cat in her arms Victoria stroked her boney hand along its back, her eyes narrowed and mouth twisted in disbelief. Pepita number two meowed and Victoria yawned.
"Come on. If you're going to get better like you promised then you need sleep." Elena stood, letting her give the cat one last pat before pulling Victoria with her. The eldest stumbled and wobbled, trying to support herself on her own, it took her almost falling flat on her face before she accepted Elena's outstretched arms.
Inside Victoria's room the walls were filled with books. COMPLETELY filled. Not one inch of the room was spared from novels or encyclopaedias, the smell of old paper and dust exuded the walls.
Elena laid Victoria in her bed, sitting herself on the edge.
"Go to sleep, get some rest. I'm holding you to your promise."
Victoria's only response was to contort and wiggle with pained moans, scaring her sister into action.
"Hermana? Hermana what's wrong?"
Victoria grunted, "My head... it hurts worse that it ever hurt before."
"Oh Vicky..." she stooped over, giving her sister a gentle, loving kiss and cuddle, unafraid of being infected. "Is that it? Is there anything else wrong?"
"I'm freezing... my neck is so stiff... I- I might be sick again." Victoria wheezed, sharply inhaling with every pain and twinge.
"You should try to sleep. If you feel as bad in the morning, tell mamá and papá, or tía Rosita, or the twins! Just don't keep it to yourself if you need help. Please." Elena kissed and hugged her one last time.
"Oh! And one more thing." She pulls a waste paper bin into the room, placing it next to the bed so that it was level with Victoria's head.
"Just in case!" Standing in the doorframe she recited one last time. "Te amo, Victoria"
One last time.
"Te amo, Elena."
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
As the next day arrived Victoria's illness had only worsened. As she slept, she was woken many times throbbing pains or unbearable chills, disturbing her sleep severely. It had been so bad in fact that when she was awake properly it was mid afternoon, the house already bustling with activity. As much as she wanted to, it was much too late to hide it now. Tediously, after a great effort, she was standing. Barely standing, but still standing. Shakier than normal and neglecting her regular routine, Victoria pulled her robe on, not bothering to tie it.
The kitchen was filled with gorgeous sounds, baby Berto's happy giggles, Rosita's loud gossip, and Franco trying to catch an extra minute of sleep. Her mother cooked at the stove, making a no doubt delicious meal, which Victoria did not have the appetite for. Upon entering the room she was unnoticed as nobody had heard her come in. Deciding she could no longer go without their attention she coughed.
Their heads whipped around to stare at her, each one with a different expression.
"Hol-ola." She stammered under their glances, her face burning bright, with fever or embarrassment, she couldn't tell.
"Hola Victoria, I'm glad you finally woke up, it's the afternoon you know." Rosita explained from her seat at the table.
"Siento, I didn't feel well enough to get up." It felt incredible to admit it, let it be someone else's problem instead of just hers, she crashed onto the chair next to her father, relaxing as they began to ask questions.
"We know, it's ok. How do you feel now?" She grinned, her mother turned to her looking for an answer, a comforting smile on her lips.
Victoria murmured back, "I don't feel much better."
The family looked at her, sympathy clear in their eyes. Julio reached up to pat her hair, rubbing her shoulder with his palm. Over the table Elena was smiling joyfully at her, feeling what could only be immense relief that Victoria might actually be seeking help for once in her life. Lunch was filling up the table, the noises and lights she found blinding and disorienting, her papá swapped Berto back onto Franco's knee, Berto squealed unhappily, sending splitting pains right through her head.
Her mamá slipped a small plate of dry toast in front of her. Stomach turning, Victoria picked up a butter knife and began cutting the slice into triangles. Every inch of her body was begging to be allowed to rest, utter exhaustion poured into her head. She needed to get back to her bed. Now. Agony pierced her head and neck, the stiffness becoming unbearable.
"Mama, I don't feel very well, I'm going to lay down." She set down her knife, ignoring the looks from the others. Coco didn't lift her head at first, only continuing to chew her food, "That's alright mija, you go rest if you need to."
Victoria could barely hear her voice, ears feeling like they were underwater. She stood to leave, swaying heavily, her knees seemed locked in place . At the kitchen door she paused, her back leaning against the frame.
At last Coco glanced up, "Mija!" Her cry alarmed the rest of the family, each member standing up with startled fear. Victoria had paled dramatically, eyes rolling back in her head. Her mother and father sprinted to her side, Coco caught her just as her head was about to smack the floor. Although unconscious, she shook and convulsed violently in her parents arms. It took quite a few seconds before she stopped contorting. Oscar pushed Felipe aside to pick her up. They rushed her out into the car, Elena sat in the front seat, piling Victoria, Julio, Coco into the backseats. Oscar drove one car while Felipe took everyone else in the other.
The hospital was horrid. The room smelled funny... of detergent and despair. Felipe was holding Victoria upright as they waited in a line, Julio, Coco and Elena screamed for a doctor but no doctor was coming. Out of all the days of the year, this just happened to be the day when everyone from Mexico needed medical attention and Victoria was at the bottom of the list.
It took hours. They were all there late into the evening, watching on as Victoria wailed in pain. At last she seemed to fall asleep... only it wasn't sleep. It was something much worse. It was... it was death.
Nothing quite compared to that day. Elena didn't have anything to really to compare it with. Someone she'd loved more than almost anybody else, her best and closest friend, the one person she could not be separated from. To tear them apart would be to separate thunder and lightening, they went together like ice and snow.
Elena would come to regret a lot of things. Every fight, every bad word they'd said about each other, Elena regretted it all. All she wished for was more time. A hundred more years, or a hundred more seconds, it didn't matter. If she'd known what was going to happen, she wouldn't have left Victoria's side, they would have slept next to each other, they would have talked.
*75 years later*
"You broke your promise."
"I know. I'm sorry."
"Don't apologise."
"I wanted more time with you too."
"I shouldn't have left your side."
"I wish you hadn't."
"I should have talked to you all night."