Summary: Kellan's POV of that horrible Sovvan night.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of this!

On This Night

Sovvan parties were always quiet ones, nothing loud or noisy. Heralds like to get together with their fellows on Sovvan, and mourn their dead, of which there are always too many. We Companions usually 'sit' in with our Heralds and Watch everything, adding our own words as is fit. Usually it's more of a memorial than a mourning, not sad, but not exactly joyful either.

This year was nothing out of the ordinary- neither Savil or I had lost any particularly close friends. I stood, only half listening to the Heralds' remembrances. My own thoughts were occupied by a faint tingling warning I'd been feeling all day, and with the poor pair in Savil's suite. But I wasn't terribly worried- after all, I no longer possessed Foresight. Companion's intuition was faulty at best and I didn't put much store in mine. Cropping at grass, I idly tried to Hear a little more of the Sovvan party. And then that peaceful night shattered into a million irreplaceable shards.

:Oh Gods! Kellan, Taver, Felar, anybody- help! Get your Chosen and come quickly: It was Gala and I couldn't make sense of her garbled panic.

:Slow down,: I ordered. :What is wrong?:

:It's Tylendel! He and Vanyel- they're about to Gate!: A sick sensation began in my stomach.

:Please- oh Gods!: The warning tingle I'd felt all day sent chills down my spine.

:He's going to avenge Staven and go after the Leshara. Get your Chosen.: Her mindvoice was flat now, resigned and as emotionless as is possible when one is mindspeaking. Had we been speaking normally, her voice would have been completely emotionless, but here and now, there were little swirls of fear, panic and pain- terrible pain. :Take them here.: There was an image of a Gate-terminus, about three-quarter candlemarks down the road by horseback. :Go through and stop Tylendel. I'll buy you time.:

:Gods, Gala, what are you going to do?: She broke off contact. Fear surged through me.

:Savil-Chosen!: I called, panicked. :Hurry! Tylendel and Vanyel, they're going to Gate! I don't know where, but he's going to avenge Staven.: I Felt Savil's panic as I began galloping towards where their gathering was kept. I saw others galloping that way as well: Taver and Felar as far as I could tell. :Come outside; I'll be there.:

I saw her step outside. Stopping, I waited impatiently for my Chosen to mount up. Jaysen and Queen's Own Lancir were mounting their Companions as well, clearly in response to Gala's panicked call. The three Companions picked up a ground-devouring gallop, the fastest pace a Companion could sustain. I drew more and more strength from the nodes. Please, I begged. Please let us get there on time.

We were at the Gate within a quarter candlemark. The rush of pain hit me like a blow. The three of us slowed slightly and entered at a slightly slower pace. I drew to a dead halt as I saw the scene in front of us and Savil paled and stifled a sob.

There was no Companion. Wyrsa swarmed around a mangled white body. Dead blue eyes stared up at us in silent accusation. Why Gala? Why did you have to buy us time this way? Remembering Tylendel and Vanyel, I turned.

Tylendel's eyes were- not sane. I shuddered at the alive and vivid brown eyes gone dead and pained, with all of hell in them. His face was pale and he was staring at the body of his dead Companion. Vanyel's face was drawn and he seemed to be feeling the pain as much as Tylendel. That was odd. And how did they manage to Gate-

But there was no time to dwell and think about things that had little or no bearing on the here and now. My Chosen, Jays and Lance called lightning, herding the wyrsa together, away from the people and Gala's body. Then, we obliterated them, until nothing remained by the mangled body that had once been Gala but charred earth. I must admit, there was a lot of excess lightning falling upon those wyrsa.It was our way of silent, petty revenge. But it would make no difference.

Tylendel fell to his knees before the body of his Companion, and stared at her, stroking her neck once, then staring at the blood on his hands in morbid fascination. My Chosen dismounted and put on hand on his shoulder. "Tylendel?" she said softly. "'Lendel?" There was no answer, no flicker of anything in those dead, empty eyes. I sensed her pull her composure together, settling in an unreadable mask, hiding the fear, horror and grief she felt.

She pulled her hand away from his shoulder and turned her attention to Vanyel. "…then she said, 'I don't know you, you aren't my Chosen.'" Gone was the vibrant, happy boy that Vanyel had become; he was shattered, his eyes showing the exhaustion and pain he felt. "And she turned her back on him, just turned away, and charged those things."

"Buying time for us to get here," Felar's Chosen said softly. "Oh gods, the poor, brave thing- if she hadn't bought those moments, we'd have come in on a bloodbath."

:Why did it have to be her?: I'd heard Taver sad before, but never like this. We'd all liked Gala, all sympathized with her after Tylendel's twin had died. :Why oh why did it have to be Gala?:

:You heard what my Chosen said.: Felar seemed determined to hide his grief and remain impartial. :She did what she had to do.:

:Stop trying to be so emotionless, Felar,: I snapped. :Grieve like the rest of us. Tylendel went over the edge, there's nothing we could do about it. Now, let's try to see that he comes back to sanity.:

:If we can.: Taver voiced what none of us were willing to: the possibility that Tylendel, like Gala, was gone forever.

"She repudiated him," Lancir said, sounding like he was trying to convince himself of the fact. "She repudiated him and then-"

"Suicided." My Chosen's voice was flat, but her heart ached for 'Lendel, for Gala and for all the things she should have seen, all the things she saw and should have acted upon and hadn't. "Gods, she suicided. She knew, she had to know that no single Companion could face a pack of wyrsa and survive."

Tylendel hadn't moved, and I stared at him, heart aching in a way I hadn't known it could until now. Not even when I had died, had I felt this kind of heartache. Never in the days when I was Herald Cellan had I known this pain and heartache. She'd repudiated him.

Jays stared at 'Lendel for a moment, then spared a glance at Vanyel, and I sensed from Felar that what ever came next, I was not going to like it. Jays had always been- less accepting of 'Lendel being shay'a'chern, and Felar –who was disgusted with Jays' prejudices as I was- told me what would be said before he said it. :He's going to blame Vanyel. He's going to put all the blame on his shoulders and suggest that we leave him tied to the Gate so he dies.: I wasn't bothering to listen to Jays mindspeaking my Chosen, but I was furious, none the less, at the thought that we should –yes that we should murder Vanyel. I was ready to tell Felar to yell at him, but Savil beat me to it.

:It wasn't his fault Jays.: She was about to cry. :He didn't do anything worse than go along with what 'Lendel wanted without telling me. What happened was as much due to my negligence as anything he did.: It wasn't exactly yelling at Jays, but it would have to do.

I didn't bother listening to the rest of their conversation. Felar was perfectly capable of relating anything Jays thought that I couldn't observe with my own eyes, and I had my own insight into Savil's mind. Vanyel was going to die if we didn't get him out of here soon. And even then, there were no guarantees.

I tuned back into the conversation at something Savil was saying. :…no telling what they'll get up to. Go in for a wholesale slaughtering-party on Tylendel's people, make up some kind of tale about the Heralds being in on this-: I was so proud of her. I could tell she was within a hair of sobbing, but she was still thinking.

:We'll stay here,: Taver volunteered, a heartbeat before his Chosen spoke.

:I'll stay here. Elspeth can do without me for a moon or so. I'll take care of the Leshara and see to-: his Voice wavered. :Gala.:

:Too true,: Taver snorted. :Elspeth doesn't need us now, not with all the Heralds she's got around her. This situation needs us much more, and neither you nor Jays can be spared. We need you two to get the pieces of Tylendel's life back together.:

:And Vanyel's,: I said instantly. :He's mixed up in this more than we think.: Taver stopped short.

:I have a hunch. Ask that lifebonded pair- Mardic and Donni-: Taver couldn't possibly be suggesting-

:You think they're lifebonded.: Felar's voice made it clear that it wasn't a question.

:It fits,: I pointed out, then drew my attention back to the Herald's conversation.

:What-what are we going to do about-: She meant Tylendel of course. I would have included Vanyel in that statement as well. If Taver was correct –which I thought he was- we were going to have to pick up the pieces of two lives. I chanced a look at Tylendel, and quickly looked away. Companions can't cry- but his eyes were so tormented- I couldn't bear it.

:I don't know,: Lancir said. :I just don't know. There's no precedent. Get the boy home; worry about it when you've got time to think about it. Ask your Companions; it was one of their number that died. That's all I can think of. But you'd better get on with it if you want to leave the other boy with a mind.: I wondered, hearing Lance's words, if Tylendel was going to survive long enough for us to 'do anything about it'. He didn't look like it. That thought stopped me cold. Would he survive? Honestly- I didn't think so. It hurt, but I didn't think so. Next question: would Vanyel survive? For him, I didn't know. I honestly didn't know.

"Jays, take Tylendel will you?" Savil was quickly taking charge of getting us out of here. "Lance?" I moved towards her, sensing that she would soon need to mount. Taver was already over by Lance and helping him mount.

Lancir –once he was in the saddle- did not look his age. "Gods with you heart-sibs. You'll need their help." Taver took slow deliberate steps towards the frightened and confused Leshara.

:Zhai'helleva, Taver,: I said, using the greeting of the Tayledras my Chosen was such good friends with. :Wind to thy wings.:

:And to yours, Kellan.: With those words came a carefully shielded confirmation of my own thoughts: he didn't think Tylendel was going to make it. My heart sobbed.

Jays had led Tylendel over to the Gate that he had just persuaded Savil to change to location of. Subtly, I added a tiny bit of power to her stores. Sadly, it had to be an amount that wasn't enough for her to notice, but it was at least enough to keep her standing.

Once she'd changed the Gate to the Grove Temple, she hauled Vanyel up. Together, the six of us walked –or in Tylendel and Vanyel's case were dragged or pushed- quickly as was possible through the Gate.

My Chosen let go of Van and I moved slightly away to give her room to collapse the Gate. But the Gate resisted. After a struggle, she finally got it down, and energy leaped from the Gate- to Tylendel and Vanyel. I lunged as though I still had the Mage-Gift to stop the energy from leaping, but it was too late. Vanyel screamed, but Tylendel- the energy had given him what he needed to turn from numb and insane to alert and equally, horribly insane.

He uttered the most painful cry of despair I have ever heard and jerked into sudden alertness. The cry froze me long enough for him to run, evading my Chosen. I had a sudden rush of chills. Something was coming. His eyes held no sanity, only pain. Jaysen and Savil chased him, and my Chosen tried to touch his mind. I jerked back with her, and would have sobbed if I could. There was nothing but chaos, grief, loneliness- But on my hunch, I had looked a little deeper than my Chosen had thought to. There, barely visible through the horrible pain was the one thing holding him onto the slightest illusion of sanity- a link to Vanyel. Taver had been correct: the two of them were lifebonded. And suddenly I knew- Vanyel would probably not survive the night.

Tylendel darted into the temple, and the feeling I'd had before was certain: he was going to jump. I saw Vanyel jerk his head up towards the Death Bell and moan with pain. I saw Tylendel jump. I wanted to close my eyes, block it all out, pretend it wasn't real- but it was all too real. Savil's mouth was open in horror, and tears streamed from her eyes and she watched her soul-son jump to his death and could do nothing to stop it. Vanyel screamed. I stumbled back. Felar's horror washed over me like waves. And Tylendel Frelennye, Chosen of Gala, hit the ground. The Death Bell tolled, and the deep tones cut like never before.

Something inside me kept saying that he hadn't died then; he was already dead and had been from the moment Gala had uttered those fateful words, You are not my Chosen. Jays and my Chosen stumbled over to Tylendel, Savil's heart filled with pain and loss. I saw Vanyel run off, his eyes not totally sane either. I was about to follow him before another Companion's mindcall halted me –a mindvoice that I couldn't place. :Don't. He is my Chosen. I will help him Kellan. If I can't, no one can.: I was inclined to let the Companion help him; if she could, Vanyel might possibly live. If not, he would follow his lifebonded to the embrace of the Shadow-Lover.

Savil realized Vanyel was gone, and I walked over to her. :Chosen, none of this was your fault. I'm so sorry; I should have seen it too!: She didn't respond, except to move from cradling Tylendel's limp body to fling her arms around my neck and sob.

:My soul-son, Kell! He's dead!:

I wished at that moment, more than any, that Companions could cry. As Savil's tears soaked my mane and neck, I moaned, a sound more human that most I can now utter. Tylendel Frelennye and Gala were dead, and who knew if Vanyel Ashkevron would follow.

:We need to search for Vanyel,: I said quietly. :I don't know if he's dead or alive. Get Mardic and Donni. They can help us look.: Quietly, Savil turned to Jays and repeated my words. My eyes locked with Felar and thoughts passed without mindspeech. We're doing all we can. All we can do is pray. Together, the four of us, Jays holding the body that had been Tylendel, walked into the chapel. He's with Gala now, where ever that is. Wind to thy wings, young ones. May you come back some day, to a happier life. Zhai'helleva.

A/N I cried as I wrote this. Tell me what you think PLEASE! Zhai'helleva! –Queen's Own