Title: Queer Eye for the Straight Grissom
Rating: PG for gay people
Disclaimer: I do not own either shows.
Shows: CSI/Queer Eye for the Straight Guy
Summary: Grissom is reluctant to let the Fab Five change his life.
Carson fluffed his hair in the back of his limo. The queers around him talked excitedly. They flopped open a notebook. "Oh.lookie! It's the LVMPD head honcho. He's totally hot." Jai said. He pointed at the picture of Grissom.
"He has always worked in the law enforcement field. I love a man in uniform." Carson said. He laughed haughtily. The Fab five clanked their wine glasses together. They talked excitedly about their new assignment. They had been called in by Greg Sanders to fix up his boss for the Forensic Convention for Managers (FCM).
The five gay people walked toward the lab. They exchanged glances with Nick. Nick turned toward Catherine. "Who are they?" Catherine shook her head. The five men walked into the lab. Greg stood up and welcomed the group. Kyan ecstatically grabbed Greg's hand. He felt of Greg's air.
"I could give you a crash course on how to fix your hair." He pointed at the poof ball on Greg's head.
Greg shook his head. "My hair is just fine." He pointed at Kyan's hair and snickered. Kyan gave him a funny look.
"Where is the lucky man?" Carson said.
"In his office. I'll take you there." The five men followed Greg into Grissom's office.
Grissom looked up from his desk. "Who--Greg!!!!" Grissom set his pen on the desk and stood up, his hands placed on the desk in an angry stance. Grissom looked at each of the men. "Ahh." He said with a look of recognition on his face. "Greg, what did you do?" Greg had already sneaked out of the office. The Fab five walked around Griss's desk and grabbed him. They stuck him in the limo and drove him to his house. Grissom protested the whole time. They walked into Grissom's house.
"This is spotless." Jai said.
"Yet, there is no style, couture, culture." Carson said. He stuck his finger down his mouth. "The first thing to go has to be those awful bugs on the wall." He pointed at the butterflys on the pillar in the middle of Grissom's living room.
"No! I'm an Entomologist. I study those." Grissom protested. He stood in front of the wall hangings protectively. He was almost panting. The gay people had taken over his life. Ted Allen was in the kitchen cleaning out the fridge. Kyan was in the bathroom. Jai was going through Grissom's classical music CDs. He was tossing them on the floor. Thom was pushing Grissom's couch out the door. Grissom sat on the floor. His world was shattered. Gay people were invading his belongings.
Kyan pulled Grissom into the bathroom. He pointed at Grissom's beard. "That has to go." He held up a razor. "With the grain. Not against it." Grissom took the razor and looked at it.
"Nah huh!" Grissom said. He shook his head and handed to razor back to Kyan. Grissom walked into his living room. Carson wrapped his arms around Grissom.
"Oh, you are just darling. I just love your hair." He said. He rubbed his hands through Grissom's hair. Finally, Grissom gave in.
"Okay, fix up my house!" He sighed. Carson looked excited. He ran into Grissom's bedroom and started shuffling through the closet. Grissom meandered back into the bathroom. Kyan folded his hands together.
"Oh! Goodie!" Kyan said. He handed the razor back to Grissom. Griss shaved off the beard and applied after-shave. "You have great after-shave. This stuff is expensive. Good taste." Kyan said. He shook the bottle of aftershave while he was talking.
Grissom was pulled into his bedroom by Carson. Grissom looked at the pile of clothes on the floor. He noticed an even bigger pile next to them. He pointed at the big pile. "To keep? Or no?"
Carson looked up at Grissom. "With that beard gone, you look absolutely delicious."
Grissom smiled a disgusted smile. Jai walked into Grissom's bedroom and pulled him in to the living room. He looked at the CDs strewn on the floor.
"Classical? Nuh-uh, girlfriend!" Jai said. He whipped out a rock and roll CD. Grissom looked at it, his mouth falling open. Jai showed Grissom how to open it and he stuck it in the CD player. It was The Who playing 'Who are you?'. Jai turned up the music. He danced around the living room. Grissom covered his ears. He had to protect his hearing. Jai finally turned down the music and Grissom was shoved into the kitchen.
Ted was cleaning out Griss's fridge. Ted picked up a jar of bugs. "This was in your fridge. I assume you don't want it." He threw it in to the trashcan.
Grissom ran protectively over to the trash can and pulled out the jar. "These are rare African Tiger Stripper Flies. They are only found in the deepest jungles of Madagascar and only thrive in temperatures less than forty degrees. " He held up the jar next to his face. "I love these flies!" He said like an overprotective mother. ****************************************
Grissom was working at his desk He had a jar on his desk. He stared at it lovingly. He had a happy look on his face. Sara walked into his office and looked at Grissom.
"Nice look. No beard. I love it." She said. Catherine came into the room and commented on Grissom's new look.
Grissom smiled and went to the mailroom. He dropped a letter into the slot. He recalled what he had written:
Dear Fab Five,
Thanks for fixing my house up and the flies are okay. They seem to be happy even though they got kicked out of the fridge. They like it at work. All the people here are complaining about it. But, my house is better. I have gotten many compliments on my beardless look. Thanks. My house is much more modern. Oh, and Jai.I don't like your music, still. Sorry. Anyway, thanks for the help. I'll be sure to thank Greggo. Yeah.right. Thank you.
Graciously,
Grissom
Carson fluffed his hair in the back of his limo. The queers around him talked excitedly. They flopped open a notebook. "Oh.lookie! It's the LVMPD head honcho. He's totally hot." Jai said. He pointed at the picture of Grissom.
"He has always worked in the law enforcement field. I love a man in uniform." Carson said. He laughed haughtily. The Fab five clanked their wine glasses together. They talked excitedly about their new assignment. They had been called in by Greg Sanders to fix up his boss for the Forensic Convention for Managers (FCM).
The five gay people walked toward the lab. They exchanged glances with Nick. Nick turned toward Catherine. "Who are they?" Catherine shook her head. The five men walked into the lab. Greg stood up and welcomed the group. Kyan ecstatically grabbed Greg's hand. He felt of Greg's air.
"I could give you a crash course on how to fix your hair." He pointed at the poof ball on Greg's head.
Greg shook his head. "My hair is just fine." He pointed at Kyan's hair and snickered. Kyan gave him a funny look.
"Where is the lucky man?" Carson said.
"In his office. I'll take you there." The five men followed Greg into Grissom's office.
Grissom looked up from his desk. "Who--Greg!!!!" Grissom set his pen on the desk and stood up, his hands placed on the desk in an angry stance. Grissom looked at each of the men. "Ahh." He said with a look of recognition on his face. "Greg, what did you do?" Greg had already sneaked out of the office. The Fab five walked around Griss's desk and grabbed him. They stuck him in the limo and drove him to his house. Grissom protested the whole time. They walked into Grissom's house.
"This is spotless." Jai said.
"Yet, there is no style, couture, culture." Carson said. He stuck his finger down his mouth. "The first thing to go has to be those awful bugs on the wall." He pointed at the butterflys on the pillar in the middle of Grissom's living room.
"No! I'm an Entomologist. I study those." Grissom protested. He stood in front of the wall hangings protectively. He was almost panting. The gay people had taken over his life. Ted Allen was in the kitchen cleaning out the fridge. Kyan was in the bathroom. Jai was going through Grissom's classical music CDs. He was tossing them on the floor. Thom was pushing Grissom's couch out the door. Grissom sat on the floor. His world was shattered. Gay people were invading his belongings.
Kyan pulled Grissom into the bathroom. He pointed at Grissom's beard. "That has to go." He held up a razor. "With the grain. Not against it." Grissom took the razor and looked at it.
"Nah huh!" Grissom said. He shook his head and handed to razor back to Kyan. Grissom walked into his living room. Carson wrapped his arms around Grissom.
"Oh, you are just darling. I just love your hair." He said. He rubbed his hands through Grissom's hair. Finally, Grissom gave in.
"Okay, fix up my house!" He sighed. Carson looked excited. He ran into Grissom's bedroom and started shuffling through the closet. Grissom meandered back into the bathroom. Kyan folded his hands together.
"Oh! Goodie!" Kyan said. He handed the razor back to Grissom. Griss shaved off the beard and applied after-shave. "You have great after-shave. This stuff is expensive. Good taste." Kyan said. He shook the bottle of aftershave while he was talking.
Grissom was pulled into his bedroom by Carson. Grissom looked at the pile of clothes on the floor. He noticed an even bigger pile next to them. He pointed at the big pile. "To keep? Or no?"
Carson looked up at Grissom. "With that beard gone, you look absolutely delicious."
Grissom smiled a disgusted smile. Jai walked into Grissom's bedroom and pulled him in to the living room. He looked at the CDs strewn on the floor.
"Classical? Nuh-uh, girlfriend!" Jai said. He whipped out a rock and roll CD. Grissom looked at it, his mouth falling open. Jai showed Grissom how to open it and he stuck it in the CD player. It was The Who playing 'Who are you?'. Jai turned up the music. He danced around the living room. Grissom covered his ears. He had to protect his hearing. Jai finally turned down the music and Grissom was shoved into the kitchen.
Ted was cleaning out Griss's fridge. Ted picked up a jar of bugs. "This was in your fridge. I assume you don't want it." He threw it in to the trashcan.
Grissom ran protectively over to the trash can and pulled out the jar. "These are rare African Tiger Stripper Flies. They are only found in the deepest jungles of Madagascar and only thrive in temperatures less than forty degrees. " He held up the jar next to his face. "I love these flies!" He said like an overprotective mother. ****************************************
Grissom was working at his desk He had a jar on his desk. He stared at it lovingly. He had a happy look on his face. Sara walked into his office and looked at Grissom.
"Nice look. No beard. I love it." She said. Catherine came into the room and commented on Grissom's new look.
Grissom smiled and went to the mailroom. He dropped a letter into the slot. He recalled what he had written:
Dear Fab Five,
Thanks for fixing my house up and the flies are okay. They seem to be happy even though they got kicked out of the fridge. They like it at work. All the people here are complaining about it. But, my house is better. I have gotten many compliments on my beardless look. Thanks. My house is much more modern. Oh, and Jai.I don't like your music, still. Sorry. Anyway, thanks for the help. I'll be sure to thank Greggo. Yeah.right. Thank you.
Graciously,
Grissom