Disclaimer: Don't Own Them.
A/N: A little post ep to Built to Kill, p2. Very short, Cath POV
I spent so many years wishing that he was my dad. And yet, when I found out, it was with the assurance that he had killed some woman, that he was ultimately responsible for the death of Cyrus Lockwood.
My daydreams had included birthday parties at the Rampart and all the things Sam's money could buy. And the things his money couldn't buy, but provide access to - Lily at home when I needed her. A family.
It seems my dreams cannot have happy endings.
I have tried to learn from past mistakes. But I found myself in a crappy hotel room anyway. I find myself performing my own rape kit – my own, improvised rape kit. In the end, it was all because of Sam and his shady business deals. Why does he have to screw everybody over?
Why did he have to screw everybody over?
How am I going to tell Lily? I keep thinking of how I felt when Eddie died. Eddie was a shyster, a con man and a SOB. But I had loved him; he was the father of my child. How am I going to explain this all to her?
The great Brauns – so great that one is in jail, two are in a grave, and I'm left. Huh- I don't even share the name. Sam, you bastard – why couldn't you have just been there for us from the beginning?
Now, I wish you were back, even though I know what kind of son of a bitch you were.
Dad.
A/N: I hope I captured some of what I think Catherine would be feeling. Let me know in a review.