Animal House, a sonic the hedgehog fanfic

Animal House

By PSI Hedgehog Chris

Author's Note: My attempt at a humorous story. If it's not funny at all, don't flame me.

Day 1 – "Whaddya think this is, a hotel?!?! Ok, maybe this IS a hotel…"

[315 Speed Hwy.-January 1st, 2006

(Excerpt from Chris's Diary:

It has been 3 months since I was forced to leave the lab. Eggman attacking the dang lab in the first place is surprising enough, but what was the deal with not wanting to break anything? It's maddening, I tell you! …Well, the less people know about where I came from, the better chance I have of fitting in. I just wish I had some friends…)

A knock on the door interrupts Chris's thoughts, which irritate him. And he can be uncharitable when irritated. He yanks open the door "What do you want?" he answers irritably. "Please, sir, I need a place to stay" a hobo asks him. "Whaddya think this is, a hotel?!?!" Chris snarls, and slams the door in his face. "Darnit, another sucker got away" the hobo, who was really a con artist, grumbles.

Meanwhile, Chris is mentally beating himself up for not acting nice. He resolves that the next person to ask to stay in his house, he'll let them. As soon as he makes this resolve, there is a knock on the door. He opens the door, only to be shocked. A burnt orange female echidna is standing in the doorway, with a multitude of hedgehogs, a fox, another echidna, a bat, a chameleon, a bee, an alligator, a rabbit, and a cat. The female echidna blushes at the sight of Chris, and Chris can feel himself blush too. "Uhm…h-h-hi…I'm Tikal, this is Sonic…"she points to the blue hedgehog (/Funny, he looks almost like me…\ Chris thought), "…Shadow…" she points to the black hedgehog, "…Silver…" she points to the silver hedgehog "…Amy…" she points to the pink hedgehog, who waves "…Cream…" she points to the rabbit, then she introduces Tails, Knuckles, Rouge, Espio, Charmy, Vector, and Blaze. He takes his eyes off Tikal for a second, and says "Uh…hi, everyone, I'm Chris, can I help you?" Chris says. "Cut the chatter. We need a place to sleep." Shadow says irritably. "Whoa, ok. You don't need to bite my head off!" Chris says to Shadow. He looks at Tikal again, and strangely, all his irritation seemed to melt away. "C-c-come on in, everyone…" He says, letting them in. When Sonic walked in, he slowed down and stared at Chris… "Whoa, am I lookin' in a mirror or somethin'?" he said, dazed. "Funny, I was thinking the same thing…" Chris said quietly as Sonic walks past. Shadow slowed down too, and stared at Chris. "Humph, bad enough that I had one faker, now there's two?" He said quietly. "Yeah, nice to see you too, sunshine." Chris said sarcastically. Other than that, everyone came in fine.

"So, seeing as you all are spending the night here…" Chris said, but Sonic interrupts "…Not spendin' the night, LIVIN' here." He said. "Ok, ok, alright, LIVING here…" Chris corrected himself. "We're going to have to figure out room accommodations. So-" "I'll sleep with Chris!" Tikal blurts out, then blushes. Chris blushes too, and says "Alright…So, where else are people going to sleep? I've got plenty of spare bedrooms." Here's how it worked out: Sonic and Amy sleep in the room next to Chris's, Silver and Blaze sleep in the next room, Shadow gets a room to himself, as does Espio, Vector, and Charmy, Cream sleeps with Tails in a room, and Knuckles and Rouge sleep in a room. The couples in the same room sleep on different beds (Except for Chris and Tikal, they sleep in the same bed for some reason)

"So, now that we've got that out of the way…uh…I can't really think of anything else, so make yourselves at home, and try not to break anything" Chris said, but as soon as he said it, a seemingly priceless, but really worthless vase smashes on the floor. "Too late," Chris said. He psychically got a broom and swept up the debris, but the collective gasp made him jump and bang his head on a shelf, thus breaking another vase. "Yeah, I got psychic powers, so what?" Chris said, irritated again. "So that's why I think I love you!" Tikal said. Another gasp filled the room. "Say what?" Chris said. Tikal blushed. "Never mind," she said. Chris blushed, all irritation forgotten again, and swept up the debris. When he finished sweeping up the debris, which took a long time, considering each time he did something psychically, everyone gasped and he smacked his head on something which broke. When the debris was finally swept up, he had some lovely black-and-blue marks on his head. He notices that it is nighttime, and time for everyone to go to bed, except for the nocturnal people of course. "Ok, whoever's not nocturnal, time for bed," he said, getting some groans from the younger ones. Rouge headed for the door. "Well, that excludes me, so have a good sleep, weirdoes," she said, still not believing the fact that people actually sleep at night!

When everyone had retired to their rooms, Chris laid on the bed, when he heard Tikal's voice. "Uhm, Chris…I have this special sleep outfit I want to try on, do you think it will be alright if I use it to sleep?" "Sure, Tikal" Chris said in the direction of her voice. "Good," her voice said, a little seductive. Chris raised an eyebrow. Tikal came out, wearing a bikini so little, it's almost like it's not even there. Chris blushed so much that a line of cars stopped in front of the house thinking a stoplight was in the area. "Ah…ah…" Chris stammered at a loss for words. Tikal suddenly swooped down on him and kissed him. His eyes widened, still at a loss for words. "It's been a long time since I've had someone to love…" "Whoa…" Chris said, "You mean…?" "Yes, I love you." Tikal said, and they kissed until they went to sleep.

A/N: Ok, absolutely NO humor in this chapter, I know. But it's a start!