Author's notice: This is the
standard suicide fic with a new twist, I know that there have been written
about a million times. Trie it!" This is a fic I have had a long time on my
computer, I just had to write the ending. R&R.
It was like constant walking under a
rain cloud, dark thunder rolling around him, shaking the ground beneath. It
wasn't first time he considered ending his life, it was just too hard to live.
He never dared to go the last step out of the cliff, never dared to make the
final cut over her wrist, never dared to take a bunch of pills, he was a
coward. Couldn't even end his own life. But he knew it wouldn't take long
before he would do it.
"Malucci! When are you going to stop
talking and get back to work?" Kerry yelled at the muscular doctor standing by
the desk and flirting with the nurses. Not a single day with out that woman
nagging he thought annoyed.
This day had been really bad, first
Corday telling him that he was incompetent as a doctor and now Festus started
yelling at him for fifth time today. She always told him to get back to work,
he was always stuck by this stupid desk doing nothing but paperwork.
"MVA coming in" Chuny said loud. Dave
started running towards the paramedics when Cleo came running up.
"Hey I was getting this!" Dave said.
"This isn't a competition Dr. Malucci,
Cleo got it! It is a patient on the board for you.
He looked up on it, great! Only
patient left was someone with explosive diarrhoea. He diagnosed the patient and
gave him meds, with out any small talk. Outside he met Jing-Mei
"Dave why are you so grumpy? You
know smile to the world and the world smiles to you!" *Yeah right, it's more
like smile to the world and the world laughs at you!* He thought.
After what looked like an eternity
his shift was over, he dragged his legs into the lounge to get his jacket.
Inside Kerry sat,
"Malucci could you try to be at time
tomorrow? I can't figure out why you is the only one who can't be at work on
time!" He just walked out, this was so unfair! Today Jing-Mei and Carter was
too late, but she didn't comment that.
He pulled his bike out and tried to
start it, Damn! It wouldn't start. Thunder started rolling on the sky and soon
he was soaked. He finally managed to start it, and sped up, out on the road he
suddenly heard police sirens behind him, he pulled over to let the car pass, to
his surprise the police car pulled over to.
"How fast did you drive sir?" The
policeman said.
"I was under the speed limit"
"Well sir, I can tell you that you were
waaaaaaay over it, I have to give you a fine" The policeman handed him the
fine, Dave looked at it
"WHAT 200$ for a little bit
speeding?!" Right now life couldn't be any worse, he thought. But when he came
home he found a note on his door.
He opened it and read. Great! He had
been evicted and had only 2 weeks to find anything else. Dave Malucci, you have
been the failure everyone told you you would be, he told himself. He just
wanted a long sleep to get away. He threw himself on the bed, which was to much
for his old bed, it gave a loud crack and broke down. "Hell" he yelled out, he
couldn't afford a new bed right now so he probably had a few sleepless nights
on the couch in front of him. A loud beep woke him up, it was his pager, and it
was the hospital. He grabbed the phone and rang them.
"County ER?"
"Hello it's Dave I was paged a few
seconds ago, he mumbled tired of the
lack of sleep.
"Dave, Kerry want's you to come back
and work some more, we have lots of patients now."
"Randi, I'm too tired to work now."
He barely managed to keep his eyes open. He heard someone talking in the
background and suddenly Festus was on the phone. "Dr. Malucci You are a doctor
and we need doctors so come down here at once!" "But chief…."
"No but, I'll be expecting you in a
half an hour." She hung up. He grumbled and got up from bed. He fell stumbled
and fell, his hand got cut by the pizza knife laying there. "Shit!" This day
couldn't be worse, his life couldn't be worse" He bandaged the cut, somebody on
the hospital could stitch him up. He groaned on the thought of it he could hear
the comments, can't you walk Malucci?, hard time walking, or as Corday would
say it "You are so clumsy Dr. Malucci." He took a cab to the hospital, he
couldn't take the bike with that nasty cut in his hand and he didn't feel like
walking through Chicago at 3 a.m.
"Dr. Malucci what took you so long"
Was the first thing he heard. He didn't bother answer weaver.
"Back already?" Randi asked, he
didn't smile at her just looked angry. He walked into the lounge and took of
his winter gloves. The bandage was covered in blood, he obviously had bled a
lot more than he thought. He walked out again,
"Randi is it someone who can stitch
me up here?" He asked. Randi turned and looked at him and suddenly saw his
hand.
"What have you done?"
"I cut myself on a pizza knife when
I fell" Kerry came walking towards him
"Why aren't you seeing patients Dr.
Malucci?"
"I need stitches" He snapped at her.
"I can do that" He followed Kerry to
curtain 2.
"I can't figure out why you are so
angry all the time dr. Malucci. Corday told me about what you did today, you
should be a little more caring". He didn't answer he was to angry, why wanted
everyone that he changed, why didn't anyone like him like he was?
"I need to get a suture kit, just
wait here" Kerry left the room, he looked down on his hand blood where covering
lots of it, blood, an easy way to escape to leave this world and go into a
comforting sleep, which would continue forever.
A simple way to leave. He saw a
scalpel on the tray. He grabbed it as if he were in some sort of trance. Dave
couldn't notice how he got there but he found himself inside a cubicle in the
men's room. He sat down with his back to the door. The feeling of the scalpel
on his wrist it was sharp and cool to the skin. He took a cut and saw blood
coming out, lots of it.
Kerry entered the curtain and found
it empty.
"Carter have you seen Dave?" The
answer were negative. Chuny came running towards her triple MVA coming in 2
critical. Kerry ran down the hall to the Ambulance entry.
"Where is Mark?" Kerry yelled.
"I think I saw him going to the
bathroom, I'll get him!" Carter ran into the bathroom "Dr. Greene? Are you
here?". Suddenly he saw a something red on the floor, blood. He bent down and
looked down into the cubicle. He saw an arm and the wrist on the arm where cut
open.
"HELLO, WHO IS IT IN THERE?!" Carter
yelled he tried to open the door but he wasn't strong enough.
He ran out in the hall, and found
Kerry running up with a gurney.
"Kerry I need a gurney into the
bathroom, attempted suicide I think. Kovac you help Carter I can handle this.
WHERE THE HELL IS DR. MALUCCI?"
"Randi page him, now!" Randi put
down the magazine, and picked up the phone. Carter and Kovac took a gurney into
the men's room "HELLO SIR?, WE'RE GOING TO SAVE YOU, JUST HOLD ON!" Carter
said. Way to go Carter, just the thing to say to a suicidal, he thought for
himself. Suddenly they heard a beep coming from the cubicle, it was a pager.
Kovac and Carter looked at each
other.
"DAVE?!" Carter yelled. They heard a
low
"Go away" Kovac managed to open the
door. And since Dave had leaned to the door he fell out. He heard Carter
talking to him, couldn't really figure out what he said, he was just so tired
and happy to feel that he were leaving this world. Carter and Kovac lifted him.
Chuny came running to help
"Oh my God what happened?"
"Look at his wrists" Kovac said.
"Dave trying to kill himself? He
seemed so happy all the time."
"Apparently that only were a mask"
They got him into an exam room, they
had found him in last second. After giving him lots of O-neg. they took his bed
to the ICU.
"Do you think we should put on him
restraints?" Kovac looked at Carter
"I don't like doing it but I think
we should." They put on restraints so he couldn't hurt himself. They walked
down and found Kerry running around like a yo-yo,
"Carter have you found Malucci?"
"Yes I found him, but I don't think
he will be working in a while, he was the suicide patient." Kerry just stared,
"are you serious?"
"I wouldn't be kidding with
something like that."
Dave woke up with a major headache,
what had happened, he remembered suddenly. Why couldn't they have just let him
die? In his twenty eight year long life he hadn't had one single person who
cared about him, and now he was tired of life and just wanted to die.
He tried to lift his hands up to his
head, but he couldn't move them. Restraints. He had believed that his life had
been on the lowest three hours ago, but he was wrong. It was on it's lowest
now. Now they would never let him be, unless….. A plan started forming in his
aching head. It would be stupid to try again, while he was in the hospital. But
when everyone thought he was stabile to be alone again… Then he would he do it…
a place no one would find him.
He managed to convince Kim, that
when he had felt his life slowly ending, he discovered that he didn't want to
die. He continued joking with everyone who visited and he put on the mask he so
often had used, the mask that hid his emotions from others.
After three weeks they released him from
the hospital, and he promised Legaspi that he would come to therapy, every day.
He did everything they told him,
worked hard, but every night he counted down the hours till he could get into
the final sleep.
Finally the day he had waited for
came, his day off. Slowly in the morning he found a sharp knife. He looked at
it, felt how sharp it was, he was about to make the final cut when someone came
into the room, Andrea froze when she saw her brother sitting on the floor, with
a knife on his wrist.
"Andrea?" He looked shocked.
"What the hell do you think you're
doing?" She yelled angrily. "Dave you're to good to do that!" She knew what he
had wanted to do, she had seen it before.
"I...um"
"Don't bother Dave!" She walked over
to him and took the knife out of his hand. He felt himself starting shacking,
not long after they were sitting in each others arms. Andrea felt tears running
down her cheeks and she remembered all the times they had been sitting like
that before.
After a long while they let go of
each other.
"Did you really want to die?" She
asked, but before he answered she added "Dave you're the only one I have left.
I don't want to loose you too like that"
"Like that too?" He asked confused.
"Mum" She said shortly
"Mum didn't take suicide she died of
pneumonia..." He said
"No Dave, she killed herself when
you was just two years old"
"No, she didn't!" He yelled.
"Yes Dave, she did. She couldn't
take anymore from dad"
"So then she just left us there? So
he could beat the crap out of me every day?" He said angrily.
Dave stood up and started pacing
around in his room. Andrea just sat silently on the floor. "She told me to take
care of you Dave, I tried as good as I could"
"How? By helping me washing the
floor for blood!?!" He yelled angrily.
Andrea looked silently down in the
floor again.
"Andrea, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it
like that. It's just that even though we're hundreds of miles away from him, he
is still destroying our lives!"
"Did she really kill her self?" Dave asked again, sitting down on the
couch.
"She did, she told me one day that she was going away, and told me to
take care of you. They found her the next day, dead."
"How?" Dave asked again
"Like you tried to" She said lowly.
"oh"
"I'm moving in"
"What?" He asked
"I'm moving in to take care of you little broh."
"I can take care of myself.
"Obviously not" She said and stood up. "You have no choice, I'm moving
in" She said. He looked at her and smiled.
"I'm glad"
