A/N: It's been a very long time since I wrote fanfiction. So long that I can't remember how to access my old account. Oh well. Fresh start, right?
I'll Do Nothing
Castiel ends the phone call with shaky hands and slowly lowers himself onto the black leather couch, curling in on himself while he tries to keep it together. He wills himself not to cry and he doesn't. Not right now at least. Tonight, he muses that he'll probably spend it in tossing and turning and tears. But he can't now. Balthazar will see him and Castiel doesn't want to talk about it. Maybe the couch will suck him into it before he has to talk about anything.
But tears or no tears, Balthazar is concerned. It's not often that Castiel acts like this. He strides over to the couch, placing an arm around his roommate's shoulders. "Cassie?" asks Balthazar as he very gently shakes Castiel to get his attention. The distraught man pushes away the arm and buries his face in his hands, curling even further on the couch.
"Cassie?" Balthazar tries again, gripping Castiel's shoulder lightly, "Who was on the phone?"
Knowing that Balthazar was never going to leave him alone, he answers with a muffled, "Dean."
"Okay," he responds slowly, "Are you going to tell me what Dean said to make you cry like a little bitch?"
Castiel snaps his head up to glare at his roommate. "I am not crying!" he shouts even though he can feel the beginning of tears forming.
The blond rolls his eyes. "Right, sure you're not," he drawls. "So what did Dean say to you? And don't even think of lying to me. I know when you're lying."
After a bit of silence and fidgeting on Castiel's part, Balthazar clears his throat and Castiel finally speaks. "Dean told me he's…" He trails off, not wanting to continue because saying it aloud will make it feel all the more real and he doesn't know if he can handle that. But Balthazar is impatient and prompts Castiel with a hand gesture. "Dean is getting married," he says lowly with so much hurt in his eyes that even Balthazar feels a stab of pain in his chest.
Balthazar slowly blinks. "I'm sorry. Did you say—"
"Yes!" Castiel shouts, "Dean's getting married!" He jumps up from the couch and prepares to escape to his room but Balthazar effectively stops him with a few seemingly simple words.
"Shouldn't you be happy?" he asks.
Castiel turns around, staring at his friend with wide blue eyes. "Happy?"
"Well, Dean's your best friend. Ah, second best friend after me," Balthazar explains and Castiel rolls his eyes. "Aren't people usually excited when their friend gets married?"
"I am happy," he says, but Balthazar doesn't buy it.
"But you're not really. What is it? Are you in love with his fiancée? Cassie, that's not okay. This isn't a soap opera, you know!"
"I'm not in love with his fiancée. I've never even met her," Castiel explains.
"Then what is it?" Balthazar asks again, pulling Castiel back on the couch will little effort. Castiel almost willingly flops down beside him as he draws his knees to his chest. He slumps forward, resting his forehead on his knees.
"I don't want to talk about this anymore," he mumbles.
"Nah, nah, nah," Balthazar says, wagging his finger in the air, "You're not getting away that easily."
Castiel raises his head up and gives him the puppy dog eyes that he may or may not have learned from Sam. "But—"
"Nope! No buts! Out with it, Cassie!"
He says nothing as he continues to sulk. Clearly, Balthazar has had it with him and begins violently shaking Castiel.
"Tell me and I'll stop," says Balthazar.
"Okay!" Castiel manages to say and, like he promised, Balthazar stops. He gives him an expectant look. There's no way out now. "The reason I'm not happy with Dean's engagement is because," he inhales deeply, "I'm in love with him."
Balthazar slaps him on the back. "It's about time you finally admitted that," he says with a wide grin. "Well, what are you going to do about the wedding? Crash it?"
"I'll do nothing," he answers calmly.
"You'll what? You just said you loved him, what do you mean you'll do nothing?"
"Dean can never know how I feel. Things would be…awkward."
"Cassie, everything you do is awkward," Balthazar states with a chuckle, earning him an almost intimidating glare from his friend.
"Just don't tell Dean," Castiel pleads.
"Of course," he says.
Apparently, Dean and his finance didn't want to drag out the engagement period. Two months after the phone call that broke Castiel's heart, he receives an invitation in the mail for the wedding. A wedding that will take place in two weeks.
And the days go by so quickly. Castiel feels like all he did is blink and then he and Balthazar are at the wedding, just about to take their seats in the front row. Sam is Dean's best man and Castiel is immensely happy that Dean didn't pick him. It's bad enough sitting through the wedding as part of the audience. He can't imagine having to stand up there, trying to keep a happy face. Making sure Dean has no idea how he feels about the wedding. And, of course, not glaring at Dean's bride.
Instead of taking their seats, Balthazar drags Castiel away from the other guests. "How are you?" he asks, genuinely concerned.
"I'm fine."
Balthazar huffs. "You're not fine."
"I am," Castiel states.
"Fine. You're fine. How can you be fine when your best friend (a.k.a. that one guy you're head over heels for) is getting married?!"
"I don't care."
"Don't…care?"
"Exactly. I don't care. I don't care that Dean is getting married. It doesn't matter anymore. Maybe if I cared, things would be different. If I cared, I would tell Dean the truth."
"Oh, Cassie…"
"I can't care. If I did, I would ruin his whole wedding. Best friends don't ruin their best friend's weddings, right?"
Balthazar hesitates for a moment before nodding his agreement. "C'mon. Let's get this over." Then he leads Castiel back to their seats and the wedding begins.
When the bride makes her way down the aisle, all Castiel can think of is 'Oh, so this is what the luckiest person in the world looks like.' Jealously bubbles up in him and he forces himself to not give her the dirty look he so badly wants to. Instead, he grips his thighs tightly and looks away from her, suddenly finding the grass by his feet fascinating.
Noticing Castiel's peculiar mannerisms, Balthazar leans in close to his ear and whispers the most horrible things he could think of to say about the woman. "She looks like a slut, doesn't she? See that way she's eyeing the priest. Bet they're fucking behind Dean's back. The marriage won't last long. Dean'll catch her in the act and then you'll have your chance."
He tells himself that he should find a way to cease Balthazar whispering rude comments in his hear about the bride. Someone is bound to overhear them. But he can't. Maybe he's right. He's sure that it must be wrong and awful to hope that she really is the slut Balthazar paints her as. It has to be wrong to hope that she is and Dean will find out. Definitely wrong to hope their marriage ends soon and to hope that Dean would confess his nonexistent romantic love to him.
"What's her name anyway?" Balthazar asks, actually being curious about it.
His mouth opens to tell him, but stops. He doesn't know. He really doesn't have a clue what Dean's future wife's name is.
"Ah, never mind," Balthazar shrugs, "Doesn't matter."
The elderly lady sitting behind them swats at the back of Balthazar's head. "Shh!" she hisses. Balthazar turns around and begins to speak until the lady gestures to her cane. Her eyebrows rise, daring him to say something. He turns around and keeps quiet.
That left Castiel to suffer the rest of the wedding with only his thoughts as his company. What nasty thoughts they are. Fantasies about Dean finding out that his bride to be is sleeping with the priest and Dean running to him, spilling out his undying love for him that he only realized in that moment. Castiel shakes his head to clear the silly fantasy. Dean doesn't love him. Not like that. He tells himself that he'll be able to move on from his feeling for Dean someday. Maybe he'll even become friends with his wife.
Just when Castiel is almost sure that he can be okay with Dean and the unnamed woman, he hears the priest say, "If anyone objects to this marriage, speak now or forever hold your peace."
And he freezes. This is his chance. After spending only seconds debating whether or not he should, Castiel abruptly stands up, bring about an echo of gasps from everyone.
The bride looks horrified. She turns to Dean and finds him staring at Castiel with an unreadable expression on his face. "Cas? What are you doing?" he asks.
Castiel gulps. "I object to this marriage," he announces, "I cannot let you marry this woman without first telling you that I love you."
"Damn it, Cas," Dean curses under his breath. He leans in to his bride's eye and whispers something that makes the poor woman burst into tears. She tries and fails to latch on to his arm as he walks away and stops in front of Castiel.
"Dean?" he whispers, looking up into Dean's eyes nervously.
Dean shakes his head with a small smile. "You couldn't have told me without the audience? Maybe before the wedding?"
"I—" he begins, but has nothing to say. He looks down again, feeling ashamed for making such a scene.
"Stupid," Dean mutters with a smile before taking Castiel into his arms, "Now we'll have to have a whole new wedding." He leans in for a kiss and then—
—And then Dean kisses his new wife as the guests clap.
Castiel reluctantly joins in with the clapping as he tears stream down his face.
"Oh, Cassie," Balthazar says, putting his arm around his shoulder, "Don't cry."
"It's okay," he sniffles, "It's normal to cry at a wedding."
A/N: How much do you guys hate me? Haha, sorry. Anyway, I wrote this little fic for a challenge called the Prompt Exchange Challenge created by Unattainable Dreams. It's fun. :D My prompt was: Maybe if I cared, things would be different. [Sent by BrokenSilence137]