I want to live but I'm losing my life to darkness.

Disclaimer: song is from Good charlotte number 4 on chronicles of life and death: S O S everything else in MY own fictional characters if you wish to use any of them please contact me or else!

Is anybody listing? Can you hear me when I call? Shooting signals in the air. Cause I need somebody's help. I can't make it on my own. So I'm giving up myself. Is anybody listening? Listening?

Looking up I saw the one I admired most singing a gig in a bar, His chocolate brown hair covering his beautiful blue eyes. He was wearing his favorite trench coat; a black one rimmed with sliver, underneath that he had on a white tank top, and tight almost leather black pants. But I also knew he carried with him at all times a golden dragon symbol around his neck. I think it must have been his brothers or something. He was like an angel drenched in light, a sad angel...but I wish I could change that. He's really very sweet. I've had a crush on him for years now. I suppose you want to know how I look? Well you'll have to wait to find out. I sigh, to my ears his music was so sweet but it was also sad.

I've been stranded here and I'm Miles away. Making signals hoping they save me I lock myself in these walls. Cause I write this letter and hope it saves me.

I stared blindly at him as he tossed a letter in the air, my eyes following it and my hands catching it. I looked down at it then back at him. He had already turned to another direction, to avoid my curious gaze. That last part of the song must of been some type of plea because I knew as I read the letter he was waiting...watching me. For a sign but all I gave him was a cold glare... He looked deeply hurt and lost but kept on singing, his voice still firm but tears shone in his lovely blue orbs. I knew I should have given him an answer but I was afraid of what he might say, of what I might do, of finding out...what would happen.

Is anybody listing? Can u hear me when I call? Shooting signals in the air Cause I need somebody's help I can't make it on my own so I'm giving up myself Is anybody listing? Listening... I'm stuck in my own head and I'm miles away.

I stared at him he stared back at me. His eyes pleading for help. I gasped. This song can't be... It can't... It scared me so much... that I turn and ran to the entrance of the bar. I was still hearing his voice as I ran. What was he thinking! How could he want to! Did...I not mean a thing to him...or was he joking? Did he love me...? Tch. OF course not, all I am to him is a friend.

Would anybody notice if I left this place? Looking at myself tonight, wondering if I'll survive, How the hell did I get so far away this time I had high hopes in my life. Back when I was still alive. I use to want to live forever.

I bit my lip to keep the tears at bay. The hand not holding my microphone went to my hair. I searched the crowd for the sleek black hair and icy blue eyes that I loved so much. But I couldn't find it...I couldn't find him...he left... I continued singing my song. Somehow managing to prevent the urge to cry from ruining my voice. I was getting even more depressed now that I knew that my only dream...my only love had shattered my world. Unrequited love. Then again...all the letter said was that I was about to kill myself... I also knew that it was the end of my life as I knew it to be. This song meant so much to me cause it was everything I felt...everything I wanted... Everything that's gone...

Is anybody listing? Do you hear me when I call? Shooting signals in the air Cause I need somebody's help I can't make it on my own. Is anybody listening? Listing.

I blink my eyes and looked back at the stage. He was there singing and staring. I feared what was to come, but didn't know what I could do to fix it. I am hurt so deeply that tears began to come to my eyes. "It...it can't... Please...don't let it be..."I whispered. I have to get out of here...but what about him? Zaliv? I can't let this happen. I can't just let him do that? I was only one person through...what can I do? Nothing...I looked at him once again and he was nearing the end of the song His last performance for reasons that the crowd never would know.

I'm lost here- I can't make it on my own I don't want to die alone I'm so scared Drowning now reaching out holding onto everything I know. Crying out, dying now, Need some help...

I ran to the back of the stage and out the door. I didn't want to hear the last lines. It hurts too much. I was so confused! So hurt! I ran and ran till I reached my home. . Only then did I slow down I climbed up to my rood and sat down tears threatening to fall but I wouldn't let them. "God Zaliv. Why!" I put my head in between my knees, giving a sob as I watched my own tears hit the roof. I realized then that I would be stupid if I would let him go like that...no. It wasn't going to end like this. Not yet. Never...

At bar (singers pov)

I looked up as I saw him. The one I love run through the front doors. I fought back a sob, fighting down the pain. It hurt so much seeing the one you love run away. He didn't love me back so... what was I to do? I began the last few lines not sure if I really wanted to finish my song.

Is anybody listening? Can you hear me when I call? Shooting signals in the air Cause I need somebody's help I can't make it on my own So I'm giving up myself Is anybody listening? Listening...

I trailed off ending the song listen to the applause of my audience. They all think I'm fine but they have no idea. They never do those selfish bastards. Saying my thank you(s) I walked off the stage, saying My byes to my colleagues. I took one last look at where this whole thing began and now where it all ended. This one bar had caused my so much fame, so much pleasure and yet doubles the sadness. I began my walk over to the bridge down the road. As I got there I prepared to jump off and end my life.

Roof tops (other Shima's pov)

I knew something was about to happen. I could feel it. He had finished his song. Yet I was too afraid to move, to stop him, I had stopped him once before but this time I wasn't sure I could. I knew I had to try through. Even if we had to stay as friends...I just needed him by my side. "My god it hurts..."I whispered. The roof of my house over looked the whole city. Not even 2 minutes away from where I sat stood the bridge. I saw the one I love prepare to jump over. That was all I needed to know I really loved him. It could not happen! I needed him. At that moment I felt so lost and yet I felt determined. I jumped off my roof, tripping slightly as I landed. As soon as I gained my balance I took off to stop him. Hoping that with in those two minutes he would have second thoughts and not jump. If I got there and found him dead below me... I don't know what I would do. I shivered at that thought and speed up. As I reached there I sighed in relive. I had got there in time. As I stood there and watched him stand there on the other side of the railing more tears coming to my eyes. I wasn't the type to cry but at that moment I couldn't help it. I felt to overwhelmed with pain, sadness, relief and so much more. The tears just kept coming. I couldn't stop them even if I tried to. Through I'm pretty sure anyone would cry if they found themselves in my postion. " Why! Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?" I asked myself as I walked closer to him; afraid that my sudden movements might make him jump sooner before I could get to him. To make him stop. I hoped more then anything I could prevent him from killing himself. I saw him get ready to jump and through all thoughts out the window as I cried out his name "Zaliv!"

Singer pov.(Zaliv) At bridge

I took a deep breath and prepared to jump. One thing stopped me. Zaliv. I was afraid of how much this would hurt him. Thought why would he care? After all he was only a friend and I wanted him to be MORE then just a friend. That would never happen aside from him, I had no one else. I know that he could have anyone he wanted and that my death wouldn't mean a lot to him...At least I thought so. I was becoming very pissed at my own thoughts and decided to block them off. That was it. I was going to jump. Now. While I had the courage and guts too. Slowly I kneeled forward, loosening my hands as I did so. I looked down at the water below that would kill me and smiled gratefully to have such an easy escape from life. "God. When I die please let me have a better after life." I whispered. I was about to let go completely when I heard something faint behind me that sounded like my name. "Zaliv!" I turned my head to look at the person who spoke and I was at a complete losing of words. It...was Shima. Why? Why did he come? I should have jumped when I heard my name. I sighed and got quite a shocked as I looked closer at him. His clothes looked ruffled, his hair looked messy (that was a change) and his eyes looked quite red and tears poured down his face like waterfalls. He was panting and sobbing at the same time. I gulped. Now what do I do?

Shima's Pov

I clutched my rib cage where I had fallen down a few feet away from him. I guess running for 2 minutes and crying at the same time took out all of my energy. My breathing was extremely uneven from the two minute run and all my crying. I looked up at him from where I was and my eyes began to filled with more tears making them pour down twice as fast. Yet at the same time I somehow managed to stare daggers at the pretty boy in front of me. The one I loved so much. "D-dont even...t-think about...it..." I gasped out, my throat clenched up making it hard to talk. I can't stand the feeling of pain and how he looked at that moment.

Singers pov

" Why not Shima? All I have in this world is pain with more pain you try to change the world and it just gets worse...I try to change who I am and my past comes crashing back on me ten times harder. I'm not like you Shima. I can't handle pain so well. I admire you for that...I'm not strong enough. Sorry." I turned back to look down at the water below. Once again I prepared myself to jump and again his voice stopped me. Causing me to once again turn to look at him from where I hung on to the bridges bars. I really was a stupid fool to think someone like him would even think of being more then just a friend with me. Yet I was drawn to him. I really couldn't help but turn and face him as he spoke through his sobs. Still I was curious as to why he was crying so harder over me.

Shima's pov

I gasped and looked straight at MY kitten, MY Zaliv! I could not for a moment believe all those words coming out of his mouth. I was shocked. Somehow in the bottom of my heart I knew what he said was true along time ago. Why was he hurt deeply"? What had hurt him to the point that he'd be staring at the ground in front of him and hanging off a bridge ready to die? I was so confused that it made me even more determined to stop him. My breathing began to return to normal as my crying subside. I stood up and moved swiftly over to him. " There's more to it then that isn't there?" I may have looked defeated but I sure as hell was bent on saving him and revealing what I felt.

"...Yes. but what's it matter to you!" He spoke to me in barley above a whisper. His voice stayed firm but it was now laced with sadness. His lovely blue orbs also held that same sadness. This boy...Zaliv who stood hanging over a bridge didn't get it. Standing on my tip toes, and placing one hand on the bar to steady myself, I pressed my lips to his. I kissed him.. I was so shocked with myself yet I was pleased. This kiss was all I needed to show him what I really meant. In this kiss it said ' It matters a great deal to me because I'm in love with you and the one I love is hurt real bad because of it and wanting to die.' but it also said ' This is how I really feel. I love you with my whole soul and heart and I'd never ever dare to hurt the one I love. Will you go out with me? Will you be my boyfriend?' The question was silent but still there and I knew he felt it in the kiss. I Pulled away and stared sadly into his eyes. My other hand lingered on his pale yet handsome face. I figured his answer before hand but I wanted to here it from him. I was waiting for an answer, yet I was also waiting to see if it had effected him the way I hoped it would.

Zaliv's pov

I nearly lost my grip on the bar, as My eyes widen with what was happening... I wasn't sure what to do anymore but this was a surprise. When we broke away , my intense blue eyes staring at his gorgeous icy blue ones. That mimicked my own. " Who--why?" My hand going to my mouth. I understood everything he wanted to say except none of it were in words instead it was from the heart purely based on emotion. I wasn't sure if I was just reading too deep into this one kiss but I'm sure it said 'be with me. Be my boyfriend...' I was almost happy to hear those unspoken words but I didn't want to get hurt in the long run if it turn out to be wrong...but why WOULD someone kiss you if they didn't mean it in that way...?

The pretty boy; Shima, tossed his hair over his shoulder before looking straight into me eyes chuckling.

" Kitten... I've ALWAYS wanted to do that...I went crazy having to keep it a secret from you. I don't know why you want to die but it hurts me, badly. I cant take anymore of it, I can't handle having to stop you again and again one day I won't be around and I'll...lose you... why can't you just stop it?"

Shima raised a hand to his eyes and whipped at them. I noticed a few escaped tears making their way down his cheeks on tell he whipped those away. My heart hurt from watching him like that...but...I was still over powered with the will to just turn away and jump. What he said next made me even more confused.

" I love you Zaliv..."

I blinked at him. "ugh...Shima...you make everything complicated for me..."

I groaned, My life just keeps gets more confusing every minute I'm alive.

" I'm sorry Shima...I really am...it was a bad mistake when we met for the first time in out life...I should of just left then...because you would not feel any pain...Why are you saying such things? Are you trying to hurt me more?...why must you joke with me?" I growled warningly at him, turned away and crouched down low on the bridge ready to jump. By now many people where whispering about me trying to jump. They say

" There goes another famous singer gone crazy due tot he pressure'' and the fan girls say " A break up? but...there so cute together"

They are both wrong, and so are the rest of them. A police office tries to approach me but Shima stops him with a shake of his head. I can hear Shima sobbing quietly as he talks to the police officer. I must of said something wrong for him to cry like a baby in front of everyone...in fact I think this IS the first time he's ever cried in front of anyone. In front of me... I look up as I feel a touch on my hand, and what I come face to face with is Shima's tear stained face.

"R-really Zaliv...do you think I'm one to joke...about how I feel...I can't believe you'd even think that... Would I bawl like this over nothing? for no reason? Hell...I've never cried in front of anyone before, surly you must see It means something to me..." He stops talking as a sob escapes his throat no matter how much he tries not to cry. " It hurts...so much...because I love you and do you think I'm going to just let you die right here and now in front of me? No. I won't I...don't care if you h-hate me...I wouldn't b-be able to live with myself if I let you die!' Leaning over he pulls at my collar tossing me back over the railing and on to the ground, on top of him as he fell when he pulled me. I stare at him as he lies below me crying. I reach up to try and whip away his tears but he shakes his head and pulls me again by the collar. This time in too a kiss... I hear gasp from the crow and disgusted cops turning away along with the fans going 'eeee'.

We pull away from each other and this time he lets me whip the tears from his eyes, although his eyes say 'Will you stay with me? Can I be your boyfriend?' I smiled, slightly. I guess he really does mean it. We're still on the ground but He doesn't seem to mind. I gasped slightly as he rubs his hips up into mine and I feel something hard. I chuckled lightly. No he doesn't mind at all. He looked happy that I laughed at his action instead of jumping away in disgust. He opened his mouth to say something but I placed a finger on his mouth and shook me head. He nodded. " I only tried to die because I could not bare to live with having the one thing I thought I'd never get. Others would be happy with me life...but I couldn't be. I guess I am self centered. Every time I tried to die and you came to stop me I was hoping all this time you'd say or at least show me what you felt. Today you surprised by not only hinting it but saying it out right and I'm glad because now I think I can live this life. As long as I have you by my side as my boyfriend and lover I'll be happy.." I looked down into his smiling features too see tears. ..Again-- This time through they were happy ones. I smiled at him, brushing my hand against his cheek.

" I love you Shima Ishio. "

This time I leaned over him. I kissed him. My hands above his head for balance. His kiss was hot but not as much as him. I opened my eyes and looked at his beautiful features. The sleek black hair , and the content yet horny expression on his face. I shook my head as I kissed him again. Figures...but then again who's to say I wasn't just as horny as he was? I have my whole life ahead of me now and with him by my side nothing could go wrong. I would also be there for him when ever he needed support. There was time for sex later but now...was too happy a moment to ruin. I'd be with him till the end. My boyfriend, and soon to be lover. Shima...

-The end-

I know I suck at writing fanfics but...it's a start. Right? Then again I am pretty much talent less...so...Shrugs