The Crazy, Messed Up Tale of DOOM!
Chapter One: A Day in Las Vegas
A/N: This is my first humor fic, so please don't flame me if it stinks.
GIR had finally convinced Zim to take him for a walk, as he always did every Tuesday night...after all, it's Tuesday, and you know what that means – UFO's! Which, somehow, ties in with the story. A luminous fireball slashed the night sky like a sword through paper, and the disk began to slow as it approached the pair of unknowing creatures. It altogether stopped, and hovered over them for a few seconds. Surprisingly, neither of them noticed anything unusual or out of place. As Zim took yet another step forth, he found himself suddenly in an alien craft, alien not only in the sense as being not from this Earth, but not from his Irk, either.
"GIR! What did you do?! Where are we?!" Swerving around, he saw two slender, tall aliens, perhaps even taller than the Tallest. "Who are you?"
"I'm Bob, and he's Clint. He also likes to be called Fred Flintstone."
"Why did you take me?"
"Because we're aliens, and we're going to abduct you."
"If I'm here, then technically wouldn't that mean you've already abducted me?"
"What do you know?! You're a puppy! Whhheeeeee! It's a puppy!" Zim must have the rottenest luck, being abducted by two stupid aliens twice since his stay on Earth.
"You cannot detour the mighty ZIM from his work! I demand you drop me off before you ruin my reputation, pitiful...alien abducting things! I mean it!"
"Wait – you cannot leave! We need to take you to...LAS VEGAS! Feeeel the horribleness of our Earthling-displacement experiment!"
"You cannot displace ME! I am ZIM!"
"Yes, we know. Clint!" A long pause. "Clint! Clint, we've got another human-displacement experiment on our hands! Clint! Clint, I said, Clint! Get out here!"
"My name's not Clint, it's FRED FLINTSTONE!"
"ALL RIGHT, THEN, Fred Flintstone, GET OUT HERE!"
"My name's not Fred Flintstone, it's Clint."
"Oh. I didn't know that. Well, get out here!"
"Activate the Earthling-displacement machine."
"Okay! Ding!" At the sound of his voice, Zim found himself in a casino, beside a roulette wheel.
"What number, sir?" A random roulette human inquired of Zim.
"What's that FOR?!" GIR screeched insanely.
"Four it is, and...you win!" The man pushed a pile of chips the size of Mt. Everest toward the green little alien, and in the background you can see the horrified faces of the people who lost all their money. Zim shoved it out of his way, without any clue as to what human ritual this was, and everyone else watched as the chips scattered, and scrambled to grab whatever they could hold like a pack of wild animals, which isn't that much of different from what they actually were.
He ran off screaming, and came to the slot machines. His eyes opened wide as GIR ran off to the Sears department of a nearby mall to do who-knows-what. He kept pulling the slot machine arm for hours with coins that terrified humans had dropped, drawn by an uncontrollable desire of which he could not explain.
"That robot has A LOT of problems he needs to work out," Zim said to himself as he continued.
Well, how do you like it so far? It's my first fic that's genuinely humor, even though in a couple I threw in a line or two that were funny. There's more to come, about how GIR steals watches from Sears, Dib contracts a deadly disease that makes you green, following his problem of being hooked on coffee, and Gaz eats ice cream so much it disrupts her games! Oh, the hilarious horror!
End of Chapter One