Chapter 1 – Introducing the Ouran Paint Monster!
"We had a great time, Haruhi-kun!"
"Yeah, see you tomorrow!"
Haruhi shot a wide smile at her groupies.
"I look forward to it." She bowed, managing to usher the girls out. As soon as the door shut behind her, she let out a tired sigh, marking the end to another long day. Now it was time for the Host Club to clean up and go home. Haruhi couldn't wait – she knew there was a large bowl of chicken curry in the fridge with her name on it. It seemed Tamaki had other plans, however.
"Would my darling daughter like to have dinner at my house this evening? I've had a truckload of fancy tuna delivered specially for you." He slung an arm across her shoulder, head swelling from the pink hearts floating around them.
"No thanks, senpai," she declined easily. Tamaki deflated. "I've got tons of homework tonight."
Before he could press any further, the Hitachiin twins appeared beneath his arm, eyes glowing devilishly.
"Boss, did you say dinner?"
"We're invited right?"
"Wha- No. II-"
"Tama-chan's having a party?" Honey-senpai's ears perked up as he approached them. He was clutching Usa-chan in one hand and Mori-senpai's hand in the other. Tamaki recoiled sheepishly.
"No, Honey-senpai, I'm not having a-"
Honey wasn't listening. He'd disappeared into a cream and jelly filled daydream. Dropping everything, he lunged at Tamaki's legs. The sheer force of it caused his lowerclassman to topple to the ground, swaying violently.
"Will there be cake? Can we have cake? I want vanilla and jelly cake, and strawberry shortcake, and chocolate, black forest -"
Seeing an opportunity to torment their leader further, the twins jumped on him, grabbing Tamaki's shoulders and shaking him harder.
"Can we come too, Boss?"
"Let's have a barbeque!"
"Can we hire a bouncy castle?"
"No, better yet - LET'S HAVE A POOL PARTY!"
"Mommy! Haruhi! HELP!"
With Tamaki distracted, Haruhi had managed to slip out of Music Room #3. Kyoya was already making his way down the stairs.
"Senpai, where are you going?"
"I have Host Club business downstairs in the art studio. I'll be back in a bit."
Before she could question him further, she was cut off by the twins, who'd grown bored of their play-fight with Tamaki.
"Oooh! You're going to see Paint Monster?"
"Paint Monster?" Haruhi blinked, provoking a cacophony of exasperated groans.
"You've been at this school for so long and you don't know who Paint Monster is?" Hikaru scolded.
"C'mon, we'll tell you about it on the way down."
"Haruhi! Wait for me!" Tamaki cried, struggling against the weight of Honey on his legs. In his desperation, he clawed his way to the door, only for it to be slammed in his face. The last thing he saw were those evil Hitachiin grins. Tamaki balled his hand up in a fist, pounding the ground. He threw his head up to the ceiling, tears sparkling down his face.
"NOOOOOOOOOOO!"
On the other side of the door, Haruhi, Hikaru, Kaoru and Kyoya calmly made their way to the art studio, while the twins enlightened her on the legend of the Ouran Paint Monster.
"A long time ago, almost a whole year before the Host Club had been founded-"
"So, three years ag-."
"Don't interrupt," Hikaru snapped. "Anyway, a long time ago a terror entered the school. No one knows how or where from, but it came. It started in middle school… slowly at first. Someone would find the occasional puddle of paint here and there. But then… things started to go missing."
"What kind of things?"
"The school's art supplies mostly," Kyoya interjected. "Their supply closet was near empty for most of the semester. The academy's budgeting team hadn't seen such a sharp increase in demand from the Art department in almost thirty years."
"You too, senpai?" Haruhi sighed. "How much of this story is even accurate?"
"About 5 per cent. And that's only due to my part."
The girl rolled her eyes, waving her hand.
"Okay… You may continue."
"Thank you," Kaoru took over. "By that point, there were only rumours of where those supplies were going... Though no one knew the truth. But then, it wasn't long until the creature made itself seen. First, it appeared in the hall to some sad sap in his first year. He said it had come to punish him for skipping Gym that day. Next, it appeared in the girl's bathroom, hiding in a cubicle waiting to jump out at its next victims. There were plenty of other accounts, each with a description of the Monster more terrifying than the last. Soon though, its sightings became exclusive to the Art rooms."
"Well, what does it look like?"
"Terrifying. I've seen it with my own eyes. Its hair stands on end so that you can't see its face. It has skin the colour of printer paper, and the shortest stubbiest nails you've ever seen. The whole of it is covered in spatter. Some say it's just red paint. But the rest of us know better. And so, the monster roams, oozing paint along the corridors, waiting to pounce at all those who cross it or dare not believe."
Kaoru finished his tale, bringing up a flashlight out thin air and directing an ominous light up his face. They'd now reached the school's main art studio. It was an impressive room with high ceilings, massive windows and student paintings covering the walls. The place was deserted hold for one pupil at the furthest corner of the room. She had her back turned to them, painting furiously and ignoring the spatter that covered her head to toe.
Haruhi leaned to the side to get a better look at the canvas, dodging the spray of paint with the girl's every stroke. It was beautiful – a realistic depiction of a ship caught in a storm.
"That's amazing," she said aloud. She received no response from the girl. It was then that Haruhi noticed the girl had earphones in, blasting what sounded like Winter of Vivaldi's Four Seasons. Haruhi looked to Kaoru.
"You're telling me she's Paint Monster?" She should have known the twins got carried away with the story again.
"We caught her in Stage 3," Hikaru deduced as her wild hair bobbed up and down, tongue sticking out from her paint-stained mouth in concentration.
"The half-way point before going Paint Monster," Kaoru clarified.
"You see," Hikaru continued, yanking on a newly-appeared rope and pulling down a screen. His brother dimmed the lights and sat Haruhi down as the film began to roll. Hikaru now donned a fake handlebar moustache and a wire-rimmed pince-nez. He pointed to the first of the five drawings on the screen with a long rod, the title P-Mon Cycle blinking at the top of the screen.
"This is Stage One. This is the rarest point to catch P-Mon. From this stage, it is difficult to even tell it apart from the average cute girl. As you can see, paint spatter levels are at all-time lows, the nails are clean and average hair density is average."
He flicked the pointer rod.
"Stage Two. Less rare though still uncommon. Combined, I estimate these two stages last only three days at most. The girl's features are still not obscured; though notice the look in the eyes exposing its innate sense of crazy. We've dubbed it the crazy genius spark. Witnessing this stage means you witness the birth of a new idea for a project. Nails remain clean, though fingertips are now covered in lead. Hair density levels up by 10 to 15 per cent."
"I can't believe you actually went through the trouble to write, learn and prepare this presentation," Haruhi groaned.
"SHHH! Stage Three. The stage we're observing right now. The paint spatter levels have risen by almost 50 per cent, while levels of irritability are only now becoming apparent. The face is yet to be obscured but it's getting there. Nails are filthy. Uniform - less yellow. The crazy genius spark has widened the eye a little more. That, and sleep deprivation. Hair density now up by 40 per cent."
"Guys, this is unnecessary and stupid," Haruhi stopped paying attention the moment the screen had come down though now she'd grown tired of their antics. Kaoru grabbed her by the shoulders, forcing her back down in her seat.
"Okay, okay. I promise I'm almost done. Stage Four. Moderately irritable. Uniform is hardly yellow. The crazy genius spark has caused the eyes to widen to twice their size. Bangs now obscure them, however. The smell of paint is tolerable though unpleasant. Paint spatter coverage at 80 per cent while hair density is up by 70."
He now pointed the stick triumphantly at the final image: a multi-coloured scribble paired with a mass of hair.
"And finally, behold! The Paint Monster! The glorious amalgamation of sleep deprivation, raw talent and natural crazy. All speaking or reasoning with it is pointless and the stench of paint is all but totally unbearable. Irritability levels are at their maximum capacity. Hair density levels are off the charts. No, seriously. Her hair literally broke the scale we were using to measure!"
With the presentation over and the screen stowed back to where it came from, Kyoya leaned forward and gently tapped Paint Monster on the shoulder, trying his best not to get covered in paint spatter. Upon noticing them, she took her earphones out with a friendly smile.
"Hey, guys!"
"Haruhi, this is Ryo Hisakawa from Class 2-B," Kyoya introduced.
Ryo gave her a cheery wave.
"It's so great to formally meet you, Haruhi-kun!"
"Formally? Did you know me before today, Hisakawa-san?"
"Well of course! Who do you think's been taking all those photos of you these past months?"
Haruhi was dumbstruck. Ryo retreated to the laptop at the back of the room, the screen of which announced a successful file transfer. She beckoned the four closer as she brought up said photos on the computer.
The host's dumbfounded expression turned more annoyed with every new action shot of her hosting. She lost it when the unfortunately infamous photo of her first kiss with Kanako Kasugazaki filled the screen.
"You got her to follow me around and take photos?!"
"Not just you. She takes pictures of all of us," Kyoya responded, calm as ever though his amused smirk didn't go unmissed.
"How have you never noticed her, Haruhi?"
"Wow. You're really inattentive."
Amidst the twins teasing and Haruhi's growing anger, Ryo and Kyoya engaged in their usual small talk.
"Sorry to have kept you waiting, Ootori-kun." She pulled the USB drive from the laptop port and handed it to him. "Here you go, all the completed digital prints for this week. I'll have the physical prints finished by Thursday at the latest."
"Not at all, Hisakawa. Thank you," He pocketed the drive, before turning to her work in progress. "So, is this another painting inspired by Hanako Shibasaki?"
"You have a good eye." she nodded. "I adore her. I hope to be as good as her someday."
"I don't doubt it."
Ryo grinned, before grabbing Haruhi, who was still arguing, by the arm.
"C'mon, I'll give you a tour of the place. You'll get to see the other Host Club merch we've been working on."
Ryo beckoned them to follow her into the supply closet. There she slid a few boxes to the side, to reveal a secret door frame in the wall. She knocked and a muffled murmur of "Password?" echoed through. She muttered unrecognizable jibberish back, successfully gaining herself and her guests entry. She spread her arms out with a proud grin.
"Welcome to the first official HQ of Hisakawa Studios, privately and generously co-funded by the Ootori Kyoya Personal Trust."
"Impressive," the twins exclaimed as Haruhi's eyes widened in horror.
An accurate descriptor for this studio would have been "sweatshop-esque". Three long tables formed make-shift production lines, seats filled with tired looking art students who were tracing, inking and lettering over and over again. Some stood at the end of each table, ready to systematically place the new page into the photocopier and scan it into the computer for mass-reproduction. Ryo took Haruhi's stupefied silence for one of admiration. She continued her studio tour.
"Each line here is dedicated to creating a different product. This line, for example, is for the fanzine and this one is for photo manipulation."
"Hisakawa sketches and paints most of the commissions herself," Kyoya continued, sensing Haruhi's unease with the atmosphere. "It's just that she needs help with the more menial tasks that help with mass-production. Besides, they only work like this once a week and have all volunteered to be a part of this."
Haruhi felt slightly better knowing this, especially after she noticed the tired art students fluttering their eyelashes at the host club members. She shook her head, defeated.
"So, Hisakawa-san, what's this line for?"
"Ah, it's relatively new. It's for the doujinshi."
"Doujinshi?"
"Comic book fanfiction," she explained, picking up a finished copy. A drawing of a shirtless, watery-eyed Mori-senpai graced the cover. "A team of volunteer writers from the Creative Writing and Literature Society send me a script, I pencil it all out, and then pass it on to the inkers and scanners."
Kyoya nodded, adding:
"Yes. Doujinshi was a popular request made possible only after the involvement of-"
Suddenly, a flash of lighting and the clanking of metal gears filled the room. A spinning platform erupted from the ground, a cackling brunette with a bow standing atop it.
"Haw, haw, haw." As soon as her platform came to a halt, Renge hopped down and snatched the doujinshi from Ryo's hand. The room fell silent as she flipped through it, awaiting her final verdict.
"This scene needs more angst. I want more tears in Mori-senpai's eyes. It is after all his long lost evil older brother who stole Honey-senpai's heart. And here, I want more ABS. Just more definition and more of them in general!"
"Maybe I should draw abs on top of abs?" Ryo muttered, highly underestimating Renge's sense of hearing.
"YES!" The girl squealed in approval. "See? I knew you'd appreciate my input. If you take my advice, the host club's doujinshi should be satisfactory."
Some moments later, they were back in the art studio. Ryo'd started to pack up, shoving a sketchbook in her backpack.
"Hey, P-Mon, the Host Club's going round Boss' place for dinner. You wanna join?" Kaoru said, helping put the cleaned paintbrushes back in their place.
"Nah, it's alright. I have somewhere to be," she replied, hauling her unzipped backpack over her shoulder.
"What could possibly be better than dinner with us?" Hikaru asked, both twins cupping their faces and smirking.
"Ryo, hurry up!"
A new voice came from the hall. The gang looked up to see Minori Kaneko, a tall, athletic girl from class 2-B, standing in the doorway. She flipped her long black hair impatiently though not meanly.
"I finished practice twenty minutes ago and we better hurry if we wanna make the movie on time," she laughed, unwittingly making Ryo blush.
"I'm coming!" she scrambled to zip up her backpack on her shoulder. In her haste she accidentally tipped it, causing half its contents to spill out on the ground. Ryo swore under her breath. As she bent down to pick up her stuff, more pens and notebooks toppled out. It was a mess. With an exasperated groan, Ryo gathered it all up in her arms instead.
"Bye, guys!" she blurted, jogging lightly out the door to join her friend.
Haruhi turned to Hikaru, smiling knowingly.
"I don't think we're her type."
A/N: Tada! Few things to know about this fanfic: I know where I'm going with it, I hope to update regularly and I hope you like it. It should fit quite snugly in the anime series without detracting anything from the canon anime storyline. My goal is to write a "Lost Episode" sort of fanfic. Just another mission for the Host Club.
Anyway, thanks for reading, favourite, follow and review!
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Ouran High School Host Club