Confessions of Libby Nicolson
6th January
7:00am
In bed
School starts today. Yippee-Not! My dear parents have been getting on at me for centuries,
"You used to love school, Libby!"
They are vair vair annoying!
Ten minutes later
"Libby! Get out of bed!" my mutti yells at me.
"No," I shout back, "I will not go to school today, Mutti, I am too upset. I think I may be suffering from depression syndromes!"
Two minutes later
I hear my mutti coming up the stairs. Too bad for her. I will not leave my bed ever again.
8:05am
I am just applying a few more layers of mascara before I set off to my doom-Starlag 14.
One minute later
…And my eye shadow isn't showing much. Am putting on a bit more.
50 seconds later
…Hmm, do I see bangs under my eyes? I'll just put on a bit of eyeliner, then I'll go.
Then again, a bit more lippy wont do me any harm. And maybe I should straighten my hair a bit more….
8:42
On my way to hell.
Have just set off to Starlag 14. Looking at myself in my mirror. I could have done with some more blusher. And my mascara looks uneven. Sadly, my mutti sent me on my way. Merdi.
About ten minutes later
Bex phoned.
"Où sont vous?"
"Near the chippy."
"Meet me at the tennis courts."
"Bex, you cant play tennis."
"No, Libbs, I've gotta tell you something."
And then I walked into the gates.
8:57
Bex got to the tennis courts after like, a million years.
"Hi Libby." she said,
"Bex, I am in dying pain because you had to call me and made me crash into the gates."
She just kept talking. Honestly, no one cares about little me any more.
Two minutes later
Bex and me decided to chuck all the tennis balls and see how far we could get them.
"Girls," said Hawkeye giving us that look, "I do not think you really want to start off the new term badly.
"I'm sorry, Miss Heaton," I said, "But if we didn't want to do this, why would we be doing it?"
"Liberty Nicolson, you are an absolute clone of your sister." she said, before she turned and marched off. Bex and me copied her.
9:03
In reg
I've been in school 3 minutes and it's crap already. Our reg teacher is Miss Stamp, P.E teacher and lesbian. I swear I could see her checking out my (unusually small) nungas. Me, Bex, Sam, Elly and Daniela Adams sat at the back, but we got caught doing Let's-go-down-the-disco when she was calling reg, so now I'm at the front between Dylan Brown and Natasha van der zwan. Double Merdi!
9:05
"Do you speak much of the Billy Shakespeare language?" I asked Natasha.
"No," she said, "But I do speak English, French and a bit Spanish."
She is vair dim.
12:13
French
While Madame Slack drones on about the usual crap, I passed notes to Bex. She's not beside me, but luckily, the two people between us are Daniela and Christie Kingsley, two vair reliable peeps.
Bex, what were u gonna tell me?
A sex god talked to me this morning!
Did he say "Hi, Bex, are you friends with the totally gorgeous Miss Liberty Nicolson?"
No, but he did ask me what school I went to.
Why do I waste my pen-ink on her?
3:42
Walking home with Bex
We are singing "I will survive" and dancing up to her house. So, we're just skipping past Foxwood when this ultra good looking guy comes out with a few mates,
"Oh, hey, remember me?" he said to Bex.
"That's him!" she whispers to me,
"Yeah, hi Josh!" she says to him, her face gone red. Josh. Where do I remember that name?
"Libby?" he says, "Libby Nicolson?"
"Bex!" I whisper to her, "If you like a guy, you do not tell him the name of your most attractive bestest pally!"
"I didn't!" she says, sounding confused, "Um, Josh, how do you know my friends name?"
"Don't remember me, eh Libbs?" he says, leaning against the wall, "We were mates when we were about 4. You used to do my makeup and taught me how to snog." he said, laughing.
OMIGOD! Now I remember him!
"Nice to see you too, Josh." I said, "Come on, Bex, lets go."
"Come back soon, Libbs!" he shouted after us, "I'd LOBE to see you again!"