"It wasn't always like this". Jackson didn't say anything in response, he just stared at the man with the most threatening look of his repertory, which wasn't that much effective as the man in question was a huge viking biker alike who Jackson though would beat down his wife in the middle of the hospital, reason why he decided to get in the middle and stop the asshole before he hurt her, and when he found out that she was there because she was pregnant, Jackson had a hard time controlling himself.

The man was still furious, and Jackson too, so the room was filled with a sense of dread and danger while Ben tried to suture the man's wounds under the watchful eyes of Hunt and Jackson himself. The later would have loved to be able to release all that fury, but he was an Avery after all, the owner of the hospital and the Boss, so he had to be the better man

"We used to be happy, you know" said the man provoking Jackson to snort, did he know… He used to be happy too, they used to be happy but then Samuel… "but then our son died…" Jackson could feel the walls falling over him, all the eyes on him, he could mask the tension in the room, but the air had changed, and yet the man kept talking, oblivious to the storm he had caused "we lost our little boy and everything went to shit… She went away and I… I… stayed and I… I'm so fucking furious all the time!. And you all are here, judging me, but you can't understand what it is to lost a child!" finally the man looked up. Jackson could see the moment when the man understood, he didn't need to hear the next words "you do know". And just like that, Jackson couldn't stay in that room any longer.

A few hours later he saw the mam, which Jackson was trying to avoid at all costs, however, the man saw him before Jackson could hide behind the nurses table

"Can we talk" he asked, with that voice that grated on Jackson's nerves, "please… I need to ask you something"… Jackson sighed impatient, he knew he would stay and listen to him because those blue eyes were so full of pain, a pain, in other hand, that Jackson knew too well "please"

"Okay" Jackson said and invited him to speak with a gesture of his hand. That was all the prompt that the man needed to start rambling on

"Sometimes I'm afraid, I don't want to be that asshole… But I'm furious and most of the time I'm afraid, okay?, I'm so fucking afraid… Because I don't want to be that asshole"

"You mean you are afraid of hurting her"

"No! I wouldn't do that okay, we just were fighting… That is not it"

Jackson looked at him incredulous, the first time he saw the couple what he saw was a long-haired 6'3'' man towering over a petite red-head while yelling at her, although Jackson didn't decide to interfere until he noticed the guy grabbing her by her arm. In fact, Jackson knew that the man had a point, it was a fight, no too worse than the thousands of fights he has had with April, and yet when he saw the scene his first instinct had been to protect the small woman, because she looked so frightened and devastated

"I'm afraid of something else, something worse" Jackson looked at him, what could be worse than be afraid of hurting the person you love the most, but apparently that is something that the man hasn't thought, and Jackson thought it was funny because suddenly hurting April and crossing the line was his biggest fear

"Well?" Jackson pushed impatiently, he really needed to get away from that man and all the ideas in his head

"I don't want to be that asshole" the man directed at him those mousy pale blue eyes with a plea in them, as if Jackson should know what he was talking about "You know… That asshole" he continued with a weird gesture of his hand, signaling the both of them as if there was some invisible force between them, rather and worse, as if they were the same

"No, I don't know" Jackson almost yelled, more and furious with every second of his silence

"You know… That blames her…"

This time Jackson yelled outraged while changing unconsciously the posture of his body into a threatening posture "WHAT? I DON'T BLAME HER"

"I know! Me neither… But the subconscious."

"Sorry… The what"

"I'm thinking… That maybe… I'm so furious, all the time… Because, maybe… unconsciously … I blame her for losing the baby…"

"AND YOU THINK I DO THE SAME?" This time Jackson didn't stop himself, he was decided to beat the man into a pulp… Luckily for him Alex and Hunt were in time to stop him just by getting in his way "YOU ARE CRAZY… YOU ARE CRAZY… YOU NEED HELP"

That was when Hunt and Alex started to drag him away from the man… No before Jackson heard him saying "I know"

That night, alone in his big luxurious home, Jackson couldn't keep the voice in his head quite, the one that sounded like Mark and was telling him "maybe you need help too Avery"

And that is why he decided to go to the psychologist