No rights to Percy Jackson.
My list
I hate Jackson, just as much as my half-sister Clarisse! Oh yeah, that's right B*TCHES! I'm a daughter of Ares! WOO! (Small victory dance before Mom yells at me to sit down at the dinner table). Phew…Clarisse comes over at times, since my mom knew hers, you know? Mom…uh…she plays a lot of war games, so they practically flood the place. She owns, like, a bazillion guns, most machine guns, wrestled for two years, goes to the range every Sunday (ironic huh?), and she often participates in any charity for soldiers, navy, etc. No matter how many times Clarisse asks me how Dad came to get her, I will never know. Mom's sweet, only not so nice to the game or the range targets (plenty of evidence and 'Curse Recording'). Where was I? Huh…oh yeah!
The Time Aphrodite Learned How To Read!
So, Athena was just walking somewhere in Olympus-
OW! HEY! NOW you tell me I've got it wrong? You should've said it before the title! Aphrodite's going to SLAUGHTER me! Ugh…I hate you.
So, I guess I was talking about Jackson. Okay, so he's a punk, got that? That little runt hurt Dad. I'm NOT going to stand for it! Here's a list I've been working on for when I go to Camp Half-Blood next year! Note: Clarisse has told me about him a lot, so I know full-in-well what I'm writing.
Ten Ways to Annoy P.J
1. Lock both him and Annabeth in a closet and refuse to let them out (extended time in Heaven huh?)
2. Replace all of Percy's clothes with sea-weed and a fake mermaid tail (Poseidon might be a bit upset, but who gives an F*CKING hoot?)
3. Push him into the water and demand him to swim to Atlantis.
4. Repeat #3 with smaller areas of water (preferably small plastic cups of water to make him yell at you until his voice is gone)
5. Draw on his face at night (lame, but there are more!)
(Note: I have this weird ability to make books of people's lives appear from their thoughts…)
6. Give Clarisse all of the books of Percy Jackson without telling him (those are apparently by his pen name 'Rick Rordon').
7. Steal all his money and feed it to O' Leary.
8. Keep chucking live fish into his cabin
9. Give him red food and say it's from Annabeth (for example: heart cookies, strawberries, apples (for a bonus with apples, drop it on his foot and make him catch it, then exclaim 'OH MY GAD IT'S EDWARD CULLEN' in an impersonation voice of Annabeth).
10.
Now…what could I do for ten? The phone rings and I run up to get it, pushing the chair far behind me and falling flat on my back onto the floor. Well, that is if you don't include the slight upward bent of my head due to it slamming into the step of a garbage can that swings open in contact. I grumble as I get up, stomping over to the phone and picking it up, blinking blankly in front of me.
"Hello?" I say, my Canadian accent sticking stubbornly.
"Hey Kelsey, it's nice to hear you again," Clarisse, being the only person she says 'nice' to, greets. "So, are you ready for Camp Half-Blood sis?"
"Eh," I shrug, even though she can't see me. "I have this list and I need to find one more thing for it."
"What's the list?"
"It's 'Ten Ways to Annoy Percy Jackson' why?"
There's a bit of hesitation before she speaks again. "Try something to do with his parentage."
"Okay I have, like, four of the nine on there about his F*CKING parentage!" I take my bottle of water and uncap it, squeezing the phone between my left cheek and my left shoulder, when it suddenly spills all over me. "Scratch that, oh so F*CKING wonderful parentage…"
"Huh?"
I sigh. "N-Never mind, okay? So, got any useful ideas? I know you have a brain somewhere!"
Clarisse chuckles, me being another Ares daughter and the smack talk perfectly understandable (phew…I need shorter sentences!). "Okay, wise guy, try something with the Capture-the-Flag games I keep telling you about."
I blink, which makes me smirk maniacally, making Mom take her plate and walk into the hall, probably going to her room and under her bunker (oops, I meant bed). "Thanks Clarisse."
"No-"
I hang up. I walk over to the list and scribble the last and final way. Of course, to keep you reading, I won't tell you until later. He, he, he…ha, ha, ha…Ha, Ha, Ha…MUAHAHA! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! **Cough** Ouch…I hold my throat with my right hand. Maniacal laughter hurts. I sit own and start making another chart, picking up my fork with the swordfish on the other end and stick it in my mouth. Strange enough, I think I'm the only Ares off-spring that even likes making charts and lists…
Kelsey Imbiber
Hair: Long, curly, crimson
Eyes: Brown with a strange hint of crimson
Skin: pale
Height: 6'
Age: eighteen
Width: thin, doesn't eat much
Origin: Toronto, Canada (Ontario)
Current Residence: Seventeen miles South of Niagara Falls
Obsessed with: Anime and weapons
Hates: Poppers and Jackson