So this is just a little songfic of mine. . .
-I'm Begging You-
The moon shone through the open window at the far side of the room. Sirius couldn't sleep, again. He rolled over in bed to face his companion, a sleeping James, his breathing deep and even as he dreamt peacefully. Sirius sighed and watched him untill his eyes became so sore he had to close them. "L-Lily" the word was whispered quietly through sleeping lips. Sirius's eys shot open, he sat up and stared at James, not believing what he had just heard. James tossed around roughly, grabbing bedsheets blindly. "L-Lily" he mumbled again, this time a little louder. Sirius's eyes were wide. "James?" he whisped, pain in his voice, a single tear sliding down his cheek. James didn't hear him.
He talks about you in his sleep Jolene, jolene, jolene, jolene -The Next Day-
Theres nothing I can do to keep
From crying when he calls your name, jolene
Im begging of you please dont take my man
Jolene, jolene, jolene, jolene
Please dont take him just because you can
James woke up alone, though it was clear someone else had been in the bed with him earlier. He rubbed his eyes and sat up, yawning. Flashes of last night came back to him now. There had been a party, lots of firewhiskey, Lily had left early after a long and drunken snogging session with James, leaving James to cope with the problem in his pants. James then remembered seeing Sirius, dancing and half-naked and a beautiful as ever, calling him upstairs. He had gone without a thought, once in the bedroom the door was shut and locked. It was so hot in there, James let Sirius take off his clothes while he whispered sweet nothings into the seeker's ear.
There were desperate kisses, hot skin on skin, sweat and heat and passion. Sirius, between his legs, making him feel like he'd never felt before. James blushed a deep red at these memories. "Oh God. . " he whispered. He quickly got out of bed and threw on some clothes, it was Saturday so he was going to go swimming with Lily. He pushed all his thoughts from last night to the back of his head, they had both been drunk after all, it's not like it meant anything. He ran a hand through his messy black hair and shook his head, they ran out the door to the Great Hall.
Sirius was outside, walking slowly in the heat of the afternoon. He took in a deep breath and sat down at the base of a tree, hidden in the shadows. Last night had been amazing, but it was quite clear to him now that James felt much differently. Sirius's dark eyes followed James as he walked towards the lake, hand in hand with Lily Evans. Sirius glared at her from where he sat, she kissed James on the lips softly and cuddled up close to him. James was happy there with her, happier than he would ever be with Sirius.
The couple stopped suddenly, near to Sirius, and began to take off their clothes. Lily playfully unbuttoned James's trousers, a growl rose from Sirius's throat. There was no doubt she was beautiful, her long rosy hair glistened, her skin soft, pale and glowing in sun as she carefully entered the water, holding James's hand and laughing.
Jolene, jolene, jolene, jolene
Im begging of you please dont take my man
Jolene, jolene, jolene, jolene
Please dont take him just because you can
Your beauty is beyond compare Your smile is like a breath of spring And I can easily understand
With flaming locks of auburn hair
With ivory skin and eyes of emerald green
Your voice is soft like summer rain
And I
How you could easily take my man
But you dont know what he means to me, jolene
Sirius could feel the tears falling from his cheeks before he knew he was crying. James was in love, and it wasn't with him. James craddled Lily close, pressing their bodies together, and kissed her with a sort of tender grace that Sirius had always wished James would kiss him with. His body shook with silent sobs, he turned his head away from them. He spotted Remus sitting further down the shore, reading and not paying attention to James and Lily's display of love.
I had to have this talk with you Jolene, jolene, jolene, jolene
My happiness depends on you
And whatever you decide to do, jolene
Im begging of you please dont take my man
Jolene, jolene, jolene, jolene
Please dont take him even though you can
Jolene, jolene
Sirius sat up, stumbling slightly. His head felt light, hsi legs wobbled slightly. He made his way through the shadows, away from the couple and towards Remus. He tripped over the root of a tall oak tree, the one where Lily had first let James kiss her. Sirius's vision was blurred by his tears now, he was sobbing out loud. He crawled out of the trees and next to Remus, who sat on a thick blanket with many holes. "S-Sirius? What's wrong?" He asked in a worried tone, putting down his book immeadietly. Sirius had never cried like this before. Remus took Sirius into an awkward hug, trying to sooth him. Sirius couldn't speak, from over Remus's shoulder he saw Lily dancing with James in the water, their smiles huge. Her clear laugh reached Sirius's ears, his body shook with the effort of holding back hysterics. "Honestly, what is it?" Remus asked, trying to bring Sirius's eyes to his own. A deep pain pounded in his chest, James was meant for him! And here was Lily, taking him away! Sirius's cries died down until only tears slipped down his cheeks. He didn't answer Remus when he asked him once more what was wrong.
Jolene, jolene, jolene, jolene You could have your choice of men
Im begging of you please dont take my man
Jolene, jolene, jolene, jolene
Please dont take him just because you can
But I could never love again
Hes the only one for me, jolene
His life was wrong, there was the man he loved, with another. She had so much that Sirius didn't, things he couldn't ever have. He pushed Remus away softly and got up again, his legs trembled with the effort of supporting himself. Remus started to get up as well but Sirius pressed him back down. "I-I'm fine Remus!" Sirius laughed, a jagged choking sound, an unconvincing smile plastered to his face, tears still slick on his cheeks.
"No you're not!" Remus protested, his eyes wide and confused.
Sirius's dark eyes swept over the familiar grounds, it was a beautiful day, the sun sparkled, reflected onto the lake. The castle tall and welcoming. An honest smiled crossed his face as he saw James's face, his smile was so cute, his eyes were glittering with happiness and love. She made him happy.
"You're right, I'm not fine." Sirius said, looking down at Remus and smiling, "But I can promise you that I will be"
-Fin-
That song was "Jolene" by Dolly Pardon