A Bachler party for Victor

Victor Van Dort was finally getting married to Emily. His corpse bride. It took a while for him to realize that he was meant to be with her after all. Shortly after the attempting wedding "upstairs" and the Barkis Bittern episode he realized that he wasn't meant to be with Victoria after all. Sure she was pretty and kind but his heart wasn't hers. Thankfully she realized it too because shortly after Emily left them Victoria whispered softly to 'go get her.' Victor thanked Victoria and gave her a hug vowing that they would always be friends. Victor found Emily where he first met her and recited the vows again causing her to reappear. She was confused at first but then overjoyed that Victor chose her after all. Now they were in the Ball and Socket pub, Victor being totally at home there being as he had drunk from the Wine of Ages and now was dead. Emily was off with Mrs. Plum and Widow (the spider friend) planning for the upcoming wedding. Victor sat at the bar with Bonejangles having a few drinks. "What we need to do for you Vic, is have a bachelor's party. One last shindig before marrying Emily." The suave skeleton suggested. Victor coughed. "I—its not necessary for a p-party." He stammered nervously. He always got nervous and shy around festivities. He even blushed when Emily kissed him when they were together.

"A party." Another skeleton suggested. Just for the guys. No chicks. One last go for our friend Victor before he ties the knot." Victor just sighed. He wanted a simple wedding. He knew about bachelor parties and what was capable of happening and he didn't want that to happen. People drink at parties such as those. And it stood to reason that the dead would also. The last thing he needed was to have Emily think he was having an affair with another one of the females. He still did not want to disappoint his friends so he agreed to the party. "as long as its not overdone." Victor stated. Bonejangles and the other skeleton arranging the party made no promises either way. Victor went to go get some fresh air to clear his head and think things over. "What we needs is a few cute girls." The other skeleton known only as Bones Mcgee suggested. He was more of a horndog than Bonejangles. "Our Victor might as well get experience for his wedding night." He added. Bonejangles turned and glared at the younger skeleton. "We can't having sleeping with another girl. He's getting married and that's wrong thing to do Mcgee." Bonejangles growled. As much as he loved women he also supported the fact that it was one man, one girl. Which was why he preferred not to be in a committed relationship just yet.

Mcgee snorted. "It would be to help our buddy. I mean come on. When they do the deed on their wedding night, Emily's going to be scared enough as it is. She's gonna want someone who knows what they are doing right?" the elder skeleton just shook his head. "and if Emily finds out that he had "practice" on another girl, how do you think that's gonna make her feel? It would break her heart. And Vic doesn't want to do that." Bonejangles countered. "Now shut up and help me get ready." Mcgee just sighed and set to his task. Victor had come back inside a short while later to see the whole place done up in party style. Mayhew, Bonejangles, Mcgee, the Dwarf Skeleton, and a few others plus Scraps the dog was there. Paul the Headwaiter had gone off to help Mrs. Plum and Emily get ready. The Maggot was being a nuicense of himself as per usual giving suggestions for 'after the wedding.' Emily would have normally been disgusted by the vulgar worm's suggestions but knew he was trying in his own way to help. "Hold our your arms dear and lets see if this fits right." Widow asked kindly. Emily nervously held out her arms and giggled as the spider crawled over them. "I wonder how Victor is doing." Emily asked. "Im sure he's doing fine dear. Believe me that boy is more nervous then you." Mrs. Plum replied. Emily sighed relieved. "I wonder how his bachelor party is going." Maggot wondered out loud. Emily turned to her crawly friend. "Bachelor party?" she asked. Maggot swallowed. "Yes. A bachelor party is what men do before they get married. Lots of 'guy things' go on there." He commented. Emily sighed inwardly. What if Victor decides to have a go at one of the other girls? Emily sighed again. She didn't think Victor would do that but when guys drink….things…happen.

"Don't worry dear. Victor won't do anything. You say the word penis and he blushes, you go to kiss him and he turns redder than a tomato. In fact when you guys are alone after this wedding I'll bet you that he faints when you get intimiate. He's faithful as his dog scraps dear. He won't do anything to hurt you." Widow promised. Emily stifled a giggle. It was true. She leaned in to kiss him and when their lips did meet he had turned a bright red and was stammering about the upcoming wedding.

Meanwhile

The bachelor's party was full swing. Victor was feeling rather mellow considering that he had put away 2 full tankards of beer and was halfway through his third. He had received several gifts from his friends as well as a dirty limerick book from Mcgee. Now as Victor sat relaxed in the big chair a scantily clad woman came out. Victor stared at her bug eyed. She was rather beautiful he admitted and she was sauntering over to him. He felt something stir and he chucked nervously glancing around. The woman then proceeded to give him a lap dance. That did it. Victor got to his feet and gently moved with woman aside. He went outside to clear his thoughts. Bonejangles followed him. As for the woman she proceeded to dance for another guest in the party. "You ok Vic?" Bonejangles asked concerned. Victor stared straight ahead embarrassed. "I-I-uh…yes?" he stammered. "I felt something. She was beautiful and I felt a husband's bulge starting. I had to leave." He added mentally slapping himself. He was discussing his lower anatomy getting aroused to one of his best friends Bonejangles, who was in fact a guy.

The skeleton nodded. "It happens. Doesn't mean your going to do something. You love Emily. And I don't think she's going to hold it against you. If she does it won't be for long. She loves you Vic. She was utterly heartbroken when she came back here without you." Bonejangles stated kindly. Victor smiled relieved. Emily could be stroppy times and she has gotten annoyed with him since he had drank The Wine Of Ages a few times but nothing too bad. "She might not hold it against you…but she's sure as hell gonna want you to hold it against her. Especially after the wedding night." A very drunk Mcgee cackled. Both turned to look at him. "So here's whatcher gonna do…you're gonna take him out and…" Shut up!" damn you just shut the hell up!" Bonejangles rasped. Victor paid no attention. He had this sloppy grin on his face and stared straight ahead. The two bickering skeletons ceased arguing and looked to where he was looking. Right ahead they found the source. Emily. Sitting on the bench. Victor starting to clammer towards her. "uh oh." Both said in unison.

"Hey Emily. What are you doing out here shitting on the benghbhg?" he asked. Emily looked up. "Victor? Victor are you…?" she never finished as Victor's lips were suddenly on hers, his hands resing on her chest. Emily would have blused if it were possible. Victor stepped back grinning like a fool. "I only had 344444 drinks. So imgndkgthvlethgj hahahahah!" Victor stammered as he pointed at her laughing. Emily stared at Victor in disbelief. Never in her unlife had she seen Victor drunk. At least he was a friendly, stupid, drunk. Not like the other kind of drunk, the kind that was violent and mean…the kind that would force themselves upon you when they felt amourus. Still. Victor looked like an idiot.

"Victor your drunk." Emily sighed. Victor looked at her sheepishly. "wanna make out?" he asked. Emily shook her head. Now victor had turned his attention to a tree and was making out with it thinking it was Emily. Emily had to fight a giggle for he was talking to the tree as if it were Emily. "Emily…you feel all nasty and gnarly. And why are you all fuzzy? You got hair under your armpits as well?" he mumbled. Emily glared. Now victor was just being an idiot. "Ok….time for bed Victor." She said a bit sharply. She guided Victor to her room and laid him down upon the bed. She'd sleep Mrs. Plum's broom closet for the night. It wasn't long before she fell asleep. Sometime the next day she turned over and felt something holding her. She turned her gaze around and found that it indeed was Victor. He had somehow made his way here and was curled up next to her. Emily sighed and relaxed. Today was the wedding and she hoped that Victor wouldn't be too hung over to marry her.

The wedding was held in the mid afternoon that day with the elder skeleton presiding over the affair. Almost everyone was there. Victor had recited his vows although he fumbled over a few words. Emily recited hers as well. "By the power vested in me…I pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride." He said with finality. Victor swallowed nervously as he and Emily's lips met. "I love you Emily, now and forever." he smiled looking at her. Emily began to tear up. "I love you too Victor." She smiled tearfully. The entire Church burst out in applause for the new couple who set off to begin their new life together.