I was watching an earlier episode where Super-Dave hits on Sara and she advised him on how to get girls- this is just the idea I had.

Disclaimer I own nothing.

Sara Sidle's Guide to Getting Girls

A Very Short Editorial

So I'm sure you're all wondering why I'm writing this the reason is that I've been disappointed at the standard of pick-up lines that I have recently been forced to endure.

I believe that my expertise can benefit a large portion of my readers.

What I want all of you bachelors out there to do is start brain storming- what do you think you've been doing wrong in the love game? What is it that is stopping you from having the relationship that you want?

I want to be able to help you.

And to do that I have decided to start writing an advice-column, please submit your queries about the fairer sex and your relationship with them and I'll get back to you as soon as I can.

To get the ball rolling I'll start by answering some of the questions I've frequently been asked:

1) No, it didn't hurt because I didn't fall from heaven. I was (like all human beings) created when the genetic material of two people happened to combine through the process of meiosis and fertilization.

2) If you've seen me on more than one occasion, I've obviously been here often.

3) I'm a Scorpio, a star sign that is highly regarded for being close to impossible to be compatible with. So if you're Capricorn, Arise, Taurus, Virgo, Cancer, Gemini, Leo, Sagittarius, Aquarius, Pisces or Libra please cut your losses and stop bothering me.

4) As for looking good on me- I prefer top.

5) I think it's geographically impossible to get lost in someone's eyes.

6) The only way to reach my heart is through my chest cavity, so unless you have claws or a scalpel I don't think you'll be reaching it any time soon.

7) I would only stay in a location if the temperature is at an optimum level- so no- it's not hot in here and I'm not hot either.

8) You make the assumption I'm a "screamer". And for your information I'm very good with names.

9) I'm not a hooker by profession.

10) And last but not least- no, I don't want to fuck.

I hope that helps.

Yours sincerely,

Sara Sidle