Church bulletin Bloopers
Authors notes: Hey my peeps.
For the people who don't know, I'm a PK.
Pastor's kid.
Recently dad shown me some church bloopers that were actually made but not on purpose.
Here are some that I understood.
Enjoy.
I own nothing.
~CBB~
1: The eight-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the church basement on Friday at 7 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
2: The preacher will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing: "Break forth with joy".
3: Thursday potluck supper: Prayer and medication will follow.
4: Low self-esteem program will meet Thursday at 7-8:30 p.m. Please use back door.
5: The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors that are not afflicted with any church. (Lucky people…)
6: Don't let worry kill you off-let the church help. (I'm sure they will be begging)
7: Tuesday at 4 p.m, there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk please come early. (No comment)
8: Weight watchers will meet a 7 p.m at the First Presbyterian church. Please use large double-door entrance.
9: Our next song is: "Angels we have heard get high." (I'm sure god would want you to do that.)
10: Miss Charlene Mason sang: "I will not pass this way again" giving obvious pleaser to the congregation.
11: Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa will be speaking tonight at the Calvary Methodist church. Come hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa. (Bring lots of soda)
12: Announcement in a church bulletin for a national PRAYER & FASTING conference: The cost for attending the fasting and praying conference includes meals. (Wow)
13: Ladies don't forget the rummage sale. It's a good chance to get rid of all those worthless items not keeping. Don't forget your husbands. (In this case it's my little bro)
14: The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has cancelled due to conflict. (Right so what was the purpose of the meeting in the first place?)
15: Next Thursday, there will be try-outs for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
16: Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons. (Poor soul I know how she feels…)
17: Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24th . So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
18: A bean supper will be held on Thursday evening. Music will follow.
19: The morning sermon: Jesus walking on water.
The sermon tonight: Searching for Jesus.
20: The rev. Merriweather spoke briefly much to the delight of the audience.( Would be my delight if it was on dad)
21: At the evening service, the topic will be "What is hell?" come early and listen to our choir practice.
22: Today's sermon: "How much can a man drink" with hymns from a full choir.
23: Hymn: "I love thee my Ford". (One man's favorite song.)
24: Diana and Don request your presents at their wedding.
25: Let us join David and Lisa in the celebration of their wedding and bring their happiness to a conclusion.
26: The 1991 spring council will be hell May 10-11. (I'm sure it will be)
27: Next Sunday, Mrs. Vinson will be the soloist for the morning service. The pastor will then speak: "It's a terrible thing." (I can imagine)
28: Due to the Rector's illness, Wednesday's healing service will be discontinued until further notice.
29: On a church bulletin during the minister's illness: GOD IS GOOD!; Dr. Horgreavas is better.
30: A worm welcome to all who have come today.
31: During the absence of our pastor, we have enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when J.F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit.
32: The rosebud on the altar is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Reverend on Mrs. Julian Belzer.
33: The choir invites any member on the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir. (Let the jail release its prisoners)
34: A song fest was hell at the Methodist church.
35: Ushers will eat latecomers.
36: 22 members were present at the church meeting held at the home of Mrs. Crutchford last evening. Mrs. Crutchford and Mrs. Rankin sang a duet, "The lord know why".
37: The third verse ob "Blessed Assurance" will be sung without musical accomplishments.
~CBB~
Authors notes: Hope you loved the church bloopers.
I own nothing.
Please review.