Disclaimer : Harry Potter and co. are property of J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros and etc. No profit is being made from this story.

Dark Lord Lite
Chapter 0

Young Harry Potter was in an unlikely situation. One would suppose that, after his many years in the wizarding world, Harry would be used to the unlikely. But the quandary he was in right now was beyond strange. It was surreal.

The yound wizard was in a Full Body Bind, and still feeling the remains of the Cruciatus curse. On the floor a couple of feet away, Lord Voldemort, the most evil Dark Lord of recent history, was unconcious and bleeding. Harry could hear the voices of a hysterical Petunia Dursley, born Evans, and a sobbing Vernon Dursley. Dudley's voice was missing, but he was probably in shock, which was understandable since he had just used a firearm for the first time in his life. And as would beginners' luck have it, his aim was good enough, Lord Voldemort will not be using his wand hand for a while.

Harry shivered. He was only clad in boxer shorts. Who had time for clothes when a Dark Lord was busting through the front door of your muggle dwelling in the middle of the night? Everything had happened so very fast, he hadn't had time to utter a single spell. One minute he was waking from a dream involving Snape, a hamster, some ducktape and a cheering Dumbledore, the next minute he was under the Cruciatus curse, trashing in the living room of 4 Privet Drive. Afterward he was immobilized and became a reluctant spectator of the torture of his uncle, thinking that his nemesis could have chosen better to maximize the emotional trauma.

Voldemort was the epitome of an evil dark lord in that moment : wand raised in triumph to inflict pain, a malevolent glint in his red eyes, a convincing mad cackle, feeling all-mighty, and disregarding the other two inferior beings that live in the house. As it happens, they were his downfall : one bloodied his hand and rendered him wandless, the other played matchmaker with a saucerpan and his skull. Which brings us back to the present.

Harry was at loss with what to do with Voldemort. Dumbledore had him convinced that the power the Dark Lork knows not was love, but all the ways he could think of to bring love into the current situation made him nauseous. And if he was honest with himself, he was not up to become a murderer. Anyway, who said he had to murder Voldemort ? The prophecy did single him out as the one to defeat the Dark Lord, but the last part of it did not make any sense! All this talking about living and surviving, nothing said it had to be literal! Prophecies are known to be ambiguous. Why shouldn't this one have a broader meaning? Prophecies are also known to be self-fulfilling. Didn't Voldemort attack his parents because he heard part of the prophecy ? Couldn't he think of something that fits the general meaning of the prophecy, but spares him the act of taking a life ?

All this thinking was giving the wizard hero a headache. And he was still unable to move. He hoped he didn't have to wait long till the spell wore off, because the crumpled body on the floor might bleed itself to death.

A/N : I dislike reading author's notes, so I'm going to make this as short as possible for my readers. This beginning of a story has been sitting on my desktop for almost a year. However, due to a lack of time and writing talent, I don't think it's going to go further than these meager 600 words. But I felt it had potential, so if there is anyone out there willing to adopt it, just contact me. The main idea is that Harry imprisons Voldemort, and tries to turn him away from the Dark. Naturally, this is supposed to be a comedy/parody.