Author's Note:
Warning: !dark OOC AU, likely non-graphic non-con in later chapters (um...evil pirate vampires duh)
Non-canon AU, None of the pirates are werewolves or 'originals' or hybrids, they're just vampires, although most of them are at least a few hundred years old and were born in the 1600's and turned during the Golden Age of Piracy between the 1650-1720's, but this story isn't likely to worry about dates. Also, Stefan doesn't have any humanity and may not ever.
Probable pairings: Bamon, Rebenzo, Klaroline, !darkStelena
Pirates on board the Salvatore: Captain Damon Black, First Mate Enzo Longjohn, Bosun Alaric Saltydog, Stefan Ripclaw, Saint Niklaus, Kol Slawter, Mason Lockbeard, Mad Malakai, Mikey Mikaelson, Billyboy Forbes, Logan Scumfell
Meet The Pirates
"Yo, ho, ho, and a bottle of bourbon!" Bosun Alaric Saltydog sang out drunkenly as he carelessly kicked over a poorly placed bucket of water that one of the human slaves was using to scrub the deck. The suds splashed over the boots of Stefan Ripclaw who spun around with an evil sneer at the human cowering in fear.
"Well, aren't you a pathetic little klutz," he said, glaring at the man who was trembling so much he failed to set the bucket upright and it rolled over to Stefan's feet. "What are you waiting for blood bag? Pick up the bucket."
The human reluctantly inched forward and reached for the bucket, as the pirate standing over him slashed down with his hook, piercing through the human's hand as his fingers wrapped around the bucket handle.
"Let me lend you a hand." Ripclaw laughed at the screaming man, pulling him up to his feet and tearing the left handed hook out, watching as the bucket fell back down to the deck and the human backed away clutching his bleeding appendage.
"Seriously, you dropped the bucket again." Stefan's eyes began to writhe with the dark vampire veins as he licked the blood from his hook and advanced on the helpless slave.
"Ripper's gonna rip!" shouted Kol Slawter playfully from the ropes above while setting the sails.
A handful of bloodthirsty pirates gathered their eyes on Ripclaw's menacing advance towards the cowering slave, beginning the chant, "Ripper, ripper, ripper, ripper!"
Suddenly, a dark shadow cast down from above them as the captain's voice rang out, "STEFAN! ENOUGH! 'A', It's not dinner time, and the sun's coming up shortly so half the crew will have to go below deck and we need enough living slaves to stay on course, and 'B', We are running suspiciously short of humans lately. In fact, we seem to be short another three of them tonight according to my first mate." Captain Damon Black nodded over to his best friend and first mate, Enzo Longjohn.
The British vampire began to speak. "That's right. Yesterday, we were down to ten remaining humans. Tonight, only seven reported to deck for work. The ratio of pirates to humans has become far below satisfactory. No one is allowed to kill humans without permission of either the captain or I, especially when the supply has dwindled so low. The last thing we need is to dessicate from starvation at sea before we have raided a civilian vessel for new assets. Henceforth, the punishment for killing any human shall be five rounds of keelhauling and being locked up below in vervained manacles until the next shore leave." Enzo concluded the announcement to the sound of some of the ship's vampire pirates grumbling in dissapointment, primarily the newest ones such as Mad Malakai, Logan Scumfell, and Billyboy Forbes. Thankfully, most of the older vampires had been on board for centuries and understood the value of living human captives, aside from Ripclaw and Kol who were longtime pains in the ass.
The Captain ignored the whining and nodded at his First Mate, then he returned his attention to his furious little brother, who's remaining right hand was visciously grasping the head of the injured human by his hair. Ripclaw was clearly struggling not to tear into the man's throat and rip his head off just to piss off Damon, but he knew that his big brother would have to make an example out of him and he'd get no mercy. Damon glared down at the incorrigible vampire until Stefan released the human, throwing him to the ground and turning his back on the Captain while stomping below deck.
"Saltz!" Damon called to his bosun.
"Aye Cap'n?" Alaric waited for his orders.
"Retrieve Ripclaw's daylight ring and bring it to me. He won't be setting foot above deck in daylight or on land for the next month. I will not tolerate disrespect!" Damon's jaw was clenched in anger. No other vampire on board would dare to behave in such a way, but they all knew Captain Damon Black's greatest weakness was his inability to kill his baby brother.
Damon was sick of Stefan's antics, the last thing he needed was a mutiny caused by a bloodlust riot. In general, the past century and a half had been very prosperous ever since Damon had taken the role of captain from his late father. The volatile Captain Giuseppe had been a brutal and hated pirate, and the crew had rejoiced when Damon led the 1864 mutiny against him. Most of the current vampires had been part of the revolt and had fought alongside the brothers against their father. Back then the two had been inseperable.
"Aye, aye, Cap'n." Ol' Saltydog nodded and gestured for Mason Lockbeard to follow him and assist in the ring's retrieval. Stefan would no doubt put up a fight.
If not for his ripper tendancies and frequent lack of control, Stefan would have likely been the first mate, but it would never happen as a result of too many instances of turning ripper and killing half the humans that the pirates could have enslaved during raids. Not to mention the disastrous incident of Stefan getting caught sleeping with his brother's former favorite concubine Katherine, which nearly resulted in Stefan walking the plank.
Instead, Damon had opted to save face by dueling his own brother in front of the crew, which ended in Stefan losing his left hand and begging for his life. The brothers had never fully been able to repair their relationship after the Katherine mess. In fact, sparing his brother meant another life had to pay. Katherine had regrettably been marooned on a desert island, and both brothers blamed each other for her loss. Stefan's humanity had become a thing of the past ever since.
Once Ric and Mason followed after Stefan, Damon ordered one of his pirate vampires to heal the injured human so he could return to work. After that, Enzo gave the order for all vampires without daylight rings to go below deck for the day. The Captain and First Mate then left to discuss plans for their next big raid. They were in desperate need of a large haul of supplies and humans, as their crew of vampire pirates had a very greedy appetite. Plus, raiding helpless coastal towns was always so much fun, but in modern times it required excessive planning. Alaric and another longtime trusted loyal vampire, the Second Mate Saint Niklaus joined them shortly after.
The four of them had been friends and allies for centuries, and along with Stefan and Nik's younger brother Kol they had been together all through the Golden Ages in the late 1600's and in the mutiny against Guiseppe. They all had daylight rings, which were an invaluable necessity at sea. Kol was a bit of a wild child, and though he had a ring he was not usually invited to the meetings due to his friendship with Stefan. Both of the younger brothers were ...difficult.
The only remaining former ally of Damon and Stefan's tyrannical overthrown father was ol' Mikey Mikaelson. He had been Giuseppe's first mate and had been spared because his expertise had been invaluable, but him and Saint Nik were longtime rivals, and Damon would never trust Mikey to be part of his inner circle. Nik and Kol's eldest brother, Elijah, had died in the fight against Giuseppe, and even though Mikey hadn't been the one to kill him, he was a reminder of their loss and the hatred remained. Nevertheless, he had a ring and was a skilled and powerful vampire pirate, and had remained aboard long after the mutiny.
The other pirates on board; Mason, Kai, Logan, and Billy, were all much less than a century old and had to stay below deck during the day. Damon was considering getting a daylight ring made for Mason because he'd been proving himself to be consistantly reliable for a few decades now, but getting any witch to help vampire pirates was extremely difficult. The other three were a different story. Modern newby vampires just weren't born from the same stock as the old crew, and they tended not to make quality pirates more often than not. Of course, over the long centuries they'd lost some of their best, and many others had gotten tired of life at sea eventually and gone back to being landlubbers.
Occassionally they'd get a veteran rejoining after decades on land got boring, but mostly they went through new recruits on a yearly basis. Logan would likely be one of those that failed, and Damon was still on the fence about keeping the psychopath Kai on board. There was also something about Billyboy that made the old crew a bit uncomfortable, but he didn't really know the guy very well. He'd need to send a few of his old friends to land to find some better recruits at some point, and maybe spend more time with them, but right now they needed to focus on satisfying the crew that they currently had. That meant that they needed to set up a raid for humans, booze, and women.
"This party's a hoot!" Matt shouted, throwing his hands in the air before grabbing his girlfriend Rebekah around her waist and spinning them around in circles a few times.
"You're wasted man!" laughed Tyler, as him and Caroline ran past them, holding hands.
Following a few yards behind them, best friends Elena and Bonnie chatted about all of their plans for next year at college. The six teenagers were all enjoying the night following their graduation ceremony earlier that day. Tyler's dad had even let him throw a massive class party at a beach house he owned, and noone remained sober.
"Dude, Ty, is that your boat?" Matt asked, pointed at a 30 foot long party boat tied up at the end of the dock at the beach house.
"Uhh, well its my dad's for when he wants to show off and take important people out, but I'm not really supposed to..."
"Oh, comon Tylerrrr, pleeease, please, please, I'll make it worth it," Caroline urged her boyfriend, sliding her hands up his chest seductively.
"Yeah Ty, come on, let's take it for a spin!" Matt joined in.
"Aaaah shit, I'm so gonna get my ass kicked!" Tyler whined as he caved to the pressure, and ran into the house for a moment, grabbed the boat keys, and ran back out jingling them with a big smile.
"Wheeeeeeeeeee!" shouted Rebekah in glee, and the four of them ran down the dock to the boat in excitement.
Bonnie and Elena looked at each other in shock for a second. Were their friends really going to 'steal' the mayor's party boat? Immediately they took off giggling and running after their friends; no way were they getting left behind!
Tyler had ridden on the boat with his father a few times and had a pretty good idea on how to get it going, so after a little trial and error, they were heading out from the Virginia coast towards the sea. Not long after getting the boat going, Tyler put Matt on the wheel so he could go below and get Caroline to make good on her promise. The other girls got drowsy after their long day and fell asleep on the boat's comfy seats. Rebekah started getting flirty and distracted her boyfriend from his duty at the wheel and soon they snuck off to a more private spot. Not a single person was at the wheel or even paying attention to where they were going or what was ahead of them.
As Tyler was thrusting into his girlfriend, he thought he felt the boat turning but he was too drunk and in ecstacy to stop. Once he felt Caroline squeeze around him and shout his name, he couldn't hold it in any more and seconds later he released. He rolled over onto his back beside her as the two of them panted, trying to catch their breath.
Right as Caroline was about to compliment him on a job well done, they heard what sounded like a snore, or snort, or both, coming from a small nook off to the side of the small cabin's mattress.
"What the...!?" Tyler shot up in bed and peered over the side. "Gilbert? Vicki? What the fuck are you two doing on my boat?"
Jeremy and Vicki were stuck in what looked like an impossible space, and they were both totally out of it.
"Oh, My. GOD!" Caroline yelled as she started dressing, running back up out of the cabin, shouting for Elena.
Moments later, Tyler, Matt, Rebekah, Caroline, Bonnie, and Elena were all down below attemping to pull the two unconcious druggies out of the crevice between the boat and the mattress, and the two had still yet to awaken.
"Unbelievable, what is he even doing at this party, he's not even a senior!" Elena was almost as furious as Tyler.
"Yeah, well at least he's still a kid, my sister just turned twenty and she's still working on getting a GED. She shouldn't be here either! What the hell did they take that knocked them out like this?" Matt was more embarrassed and shocked than he was angry. He was too worn down by the actions of his family to really get mad at his sister anymore. He was mostly worried about the fact that they were stuck in a tight spot and afraid she might suffocate.
As the chatty group of sleepy teenager's below deck pondered how they could wake up or retrieve the unconcious pair, they failed to notice the sounds above them.
That is, until they heard thumps on the steep staircase behind them, and a creepy voice calling out, "Well, well, well, what do we have here?"
The girls spun around screaming, Matt looked up saying "Huh?", and Tyler whipped around furiously, yelling, "NOW WHAT?"
Regardless of their initial reactions, the six of them were all terrified seconds later when the mysterious stranger looking down with an evil grin suddenly jumped down at them, his face morphing into a fanged monster.
Right behind him, more of the frightening inhuman intruders flew in through the small entrance, biting into their victims aggressively, and the cabin was full of screams, shrieks, and horrible laughter.
"Line them up so we can get a good look at them," Ric ordered, as the crew dragged their six pale and wimpering victims onto the Salvatore. Even as drained, exhausted, and frightened as they were, the four girls were hot. One of the boys looked like an able bodied lad, but mentally defeated. He'd be well suited as a ship slave. The other kid was still struggling and cursing, despite the hopelessness of his situation.
Enzo tilted his head amused. "That one's got some anger management issue's," he said chuckling as Damon walked over, nodding in agreement.
The other pirates had set the party boat to be towed behind them; it would fetch a nice price when they reached shore at their next destination. Suddenly, the captain narrowed his eyes as he spotted a thin woman stumbling up to the deck of the party boat that was being towed behind the ship.
"Hey, how the hell did you miss that one?" He yelled towards the youngest crew members, and the rest of the crew looked back at the unattended party boat in surprised.
"Shit." Logan Scumfell bowed his head in embarrassment, he'd been the last one off the boat and had declared it all clear.
The First Mate rolled his eyes and shook his head unimpressed, "Well, what are you standing there for? Go get her..." Enzo said to the fool.
"Aye, Cap'n" Scumfell answered nervously, climbing and jumping back to the party boat.
"What an idiot." Stefan taunted, and Kol laughed along with him.
Damon sighed. Had that moron just called Enzo the captain? One thing was for sure. "Worst vampire ever...who the hell recruited that guy anyway?"
"Billy, ahem" said Kai with a fake cough under his breath.
Everyone looked at Billyboy Forbes, who shrugged, replying "I thought he was cute at the time."
Some of the pirates groaned and others snickered. Damon looked over at Ric in annoyance.
"Saltz, since when are we allowing newbie vampires to recruit new crew?"
Alaric looked a little surprised himself. "Kol told me he recruited them."
The captain looked up at Kol, who had a colossal smirk. "Really, Kol? Was Scumfell yours or Billy's recruit?"
Kol laughed sheepishly. "It's called delegation, mate." Stefan bent over laughing and slapped his thigh. Nik's face turned red and he looked like he wanted to pummel his little brother.
"So then, who the hell recruited Billy?" now Damon was getting pissed off. The fact that Kol had addressed him as 'mate' instead of 'Captain' wasn't helping the matter at all.
"Kai did. Maybe he should tell the story." Billy was looking a little nervous.
"Don't mind if I do!" Mad Malakai spoke up happily, not waiting for the captain to respond. Ric face palmed, Enzo groaned, and Damon just raised his eyebrows and gestured for Kai to continue.
"This oughtta be good," Stefan sung out.
"So, here's the thing. I had just been turned a few weeks earlier, and after joyfully murdering most of my siblings, I was busy hunting down my youngest brother Luke. When I found him, he was hiding out shacked up with Billyboy's cheating ex boyfriend Steve, was it Steve or Stan? So I figured, why not have some fun? So, I had a chat with Billy, and told him if he wanted to get away with killing his ex-boyfriend, I'd turn him into a vampire. So I did, and it was the most hysterical homicide I've ever seen. Billy was soooo emotional when he turned, and wow! The blood and slaughter and crying was just a riot, I wish I had recorded it. So after he killed his ex, Stu, and my wittlest baby brudder Lukey, I thought, this guy would make a hilarious pirate!"
All of the old vampire pirates just stood there looking at Kai, completely stunned, including Kol and Stefan.
Mason was the first to recover, bursting out laughing, "Oh my God, what the hell man?" He went silent when he saw how irate the older vampires looked.
Damon took a deep breath. "Do I even want to know how we ended up with this nutcase on my ship?"
Kol raised his hand, looking a bit more nervous than amused at this point. "Uh, I ran into Kai at a pub, was a bit drunk, yeah? He had quite a list of murders under his belt already so I figured he'd fit right in. After that, like I said, I did some delegating. He said he'd get me some more badass recruits, and I told him to go at it. Then we got Billyboy. Then Scumfell. Do you want me to kill them?"
Damon looked over at Saint Niklaus, "If you don't get your brother and his managerie of dumbasses out of my sight..."
"Aye, mate, er Captain," Nik cringed and walked over to Kol who tried to run, but his big brother was a bit older and faster and managed to punch Kol in the face a handful of times before breaking his finger and pulling off the daylight ring. Kol stumbled back, glaring at Nik.
"Get below, little brother, and no more of this nonsense or it's shackles for you. Take your rejects with you while we figure this mess out. You will not recruit any more pirates ever again unless told otherwise."
Stefan, still laughing at his friend's predicament, slapped Kol on the back as the berated vampire angrily left.
It was at this moment, unfortunately for Logan Scumfell, that the youngest vampire finally returned to the ship while soaking wet, carrying a kicking Vicki Donovan over his shoulder and dragging a young teen boy by the leg behind him.
"So, I guess that there were actually two of them still over there," Logan said, looking around as all of the vampires turned their attention to him. Jeremy finally began to come out of his drug coma and kicked the vampire holding his leg, causing Logan to stumble forward and drop Vicki, who sat up and looked around confused.
"What?" Logan was starting to feel a little weirded out by the way the older vampires were staring at him, and he was completely shocked when the Captain walked towards him and ripped out his heart, tossing it overboard.
Right as the body landed, Stefan decided to pipe up, saying "Scum fell."