She Was Happy

Disclaimer: I own nothing the characters belong to JKR….sigh (

"I have spied for you and lied for you, put myself in mortal danger for you. Everything was supposed to be to keep Lily Potter's son safe. Now you tell me you have been raising him like a pig for slaughter"

"But this is touching, Severus," said Dumbledore seriously. "Have you grown to care for the boy, after all?"

"For him?" shouted Snape. "Expecto Patronum!"

From the tip of his want burst the sliver doe: She landed on the office floor, bounded once across the office, and soared out of the window. Dumbledore watched her fly away, and as her silvery glow faded he turned back to Snape, and his eyes were full of tears.

"After all this time?"

"Always." Said Snape.

She Was Happy

Snape turned away from Dumbledore ashamed of his tears that now burned his face. After all this time, after all these years he still loved her. Her smile, her warmth, her innocence, her belief in people, he still held onto every detail, except for the one's of her and that Potter. Dumbledore swiftly walked to his desk and sat down giving Snape a moment to himself.

"You know if you have any questions I'm running out of time." Dumbledore said thoughtfully.

"Why Potter?" Snape hissed turning to face the old man.

"I take it you don't mean Harry," Dumbledore started. "As much as this must shock you Severus, he loved her very much, as she did him."

"Potter never loved anyone who was better than him, that's why he kept company with a werewolf, a weakling, and a dysfunctional brat." Snape snapped.

"Well I guess you never got to see Lily and James as a couple. They were very fond of each other. I have memories of that if you would like to see?" Dumbledore suggested.

"And why would I want to put myself through that?" Snape asked indignant. "Why would I want to see Lily on her path to destruction?"

"Severus you can't possibly blame James for Lily's death can you?" Dumbledore asked. "After all he sacrificed him self to bide her time, to save herself and her son." Dumbledore reminded Snape. His tone was quite serious.

"Still," Snape spoke slowly considering his words. "Why would I want to see the life I can never have?"

"Maybe it will give you some closure." The old wizard said softly. It was silent for several moments then, Snape spoke.

"Alright, Snape said I'll do it."

"Good," Dumbledore replied picking up the old basin and pulling out some memories from the past. "I will let you have sometime while I go and visit my brother at the bar for a night cap."

"Very well." Snape muttered. Dumbledore swept from the room at once leaving behind a very annoyed Snape.

"What could she have possibly seen in that git anyway?" Snape whispered to him self. Taking a deep breath the former potions master dove head first into the pensive. He landed easily and found himself walking along an empty corridor in the dark, there were two figures in front of him, Lily and James.

Snape hurried to catch up and hear what they were saying. Snape noted it was seventh year because of the heads badges that were pinned on there chest. James rumbled up his hair and looked nervously at Lily who was looking at the floor thoughtfully. Snape felt ill. He knew what was coming.

"So Lil," James started. "I know you think I'm a right git and all, but I hope you can tell I've been trying to be better. And I know it sounds cheesy but, I've done it all for you, and if you could just give me one chance I won't let you down." Snape snorted at this. Potter was such a fool how did Lily fall for this? Snape then turned his attention to Lily who was grinning at the floor now. She looked up at James who had now stopped.

"So you're saying?" Lily asked.

"Will you do me a great pleasure and accompany me to Hogsmead this weekend?"

"Alright." Lily replied grinning up at James. Potter yelled out a gleeful cheer while Lily giggled. Then the memory changed. Now Snape was in Hogsmead were James was escorting Lily to a park bench that had a large tree behind it. The leaves were all different colors indicating it was fall. Lily sat down gently and James took a seat beside her putting a protective are around her. She snuggled close to him. Snape felt Lily's contentment, this wasn't there first date.

Potter whispered something in Lily's ear that Snape didn't catch; Lily giggled and smiled up at him. Snape wondered if he ever made Lily that happy.

"So it's been exactly two month's since our first date Lil." James said looking thoughtful.

"So it is." Lily said. "James?"

"Yes."

"If I told you something you promise not to laugh?" Lily questioned.

"I promise." James said looking apprehensive.

"Well," Lily started turning towards him. "Like you've said it's been two month since we got together and you have been so amazing, and sweet, and incredibly patient with me and what I guess I'm trying to say is well, I know it's soon but"

"Lily I love you." Potter blurted out." Snape rolled his eyes. Obviously Lily was trying to break up with him and Potter just had to try something to get her to stay. No way could Lily go through with it now, she was way to kind! "I'm sorry I just have felt this way for so long I had to tell you." James said looking down embarrassed. Lily lifted his face up to look him in the eye, what was she doing?

"James," Lily whispered. She had nothing but love in her eyes. "I was about to tell you that exact same thing. I love you." Potter smiled and kissed her sweetly on the lips. Snape grabbed his chest in pain. She really did love him. The memory changed again and Snape saw that there were three people in what looked like Dumbledore's office. He quickly recognized the people to be James and Lily sitting in front of Dumbledore.

"I understand you wanted to make a request of me?" Dumbledore asked eyes twinkling at Lily's hand. Snape noticed it to. It was a Diamond engagement ring.

"Yes," James said speaking up. "Lily and I want to get married Professor as soon as possible and we need you for that. I want the best protection around the ceremony. I want to give Lily a proper wedding." Lily blushed at this.

"You know I don't care as long as I marry you." Lily muttered. Dumbledore was smiling.

"Of course I will make the arrangements at once."

"And professor," Lily said.

"Yes, Miss. Evans?"

"I would be very honored if you would come."

"Of course." Dumbledore said looking very touched. Snape felt tears running down his face again for the second time that night. The scenery changed again and Snape found him self at a wedding. Lily's wedding. The wedding he never got to attend. It was in a small church covered in white Lily was standing up at the alter with James and Sirius smiling for a picture. She was glowing. The dress was simple just elegant, her veil was slightly passed her elbows and behind her head. He had missed the ceremony. Snape felt relive at this. He didn't think he could bear it.

Dumbledore made his was towards Lily and James and Severus followed. Lily smiled up at him and hugged him. The professor looked pleasantly surprised.

"Thank you so much for your help Professor Dumbledore!" Lily exclaimed. James laughed lightly.

"Lily don't smother him!" Lily blushed then hit James playfully.

"It was nothing Mrs. Potter I was happy to do it." Dumbledore replied handing James a piece of parchment.

"Hear that James I'm Mrs. Potter now!" Lily said gleefully. James looked down at his young wife and kissed her gently on the lips.

"I wouldn't have it any other way." James replied happily.

"Mrs. Potter, would you accompany me to the dance floor?" Sirius asked looking handsome as ever. Snape glared.

"Of course Mr. Black." Lily laughed. "See you later professor." Snape watched Lily and Sirius take off to the dance floor while Dumbledore turned to James.

"What is this professor?" James asked looking at the parchment Dumbledore had given him.

"It's the secret location of you honeymoon." Dumbledore replied.

"But, Professor Lily and I just assumed with the war that we were just going to skip the honeymoon for now."

"Non sense James," The old wizard said. "You and your new bride deserve sometime to your self's for a while. Besides it's only a week."

"Thank you." James said. Snape exploded with jealousy he would never get to touch Lily the way James did, never kiss her never hear her say 'I love you' to him. The memory shifted again. It was the same church but it didn't feel as Happy as the wedding the war was raging stronger now. It was night out and five people were there: Lily, James, Sirius, Dumbledore, and baby Harry. This must be Harry's baptism. Sirius and James were playing with baby Harry while Lily approached Dumbledore.

"Professor?" Lily asked. Dumbledore looked up. "You probably think I'm crazy for bringing a child into a war." Dumbledore looked down at the young woman she was upset.

"No, I do not think that." Dumbledore spoke softly. "I think that the only crazy people are those who live there lives according to war."

"Still I know James and I might not make it, Sirius either, and I would like to ask you something."

"Go ahead." Dumbledore encouraged.

"Will you please make sure the Harry is taken care of if anything happens to James and me?"

"Do you doubt Sirius?" Dumbledore's tone was not accusing only curious.

"No!" Lily exclaimed, "It's just that parents should be the one to raise there children, but if anything happened to them you want someone who is most like you to raise them. Sirius is like James and that's good, Harry could get an imprint of James from him, not exact, but still an imprint. I am not in any way trying to compare myself to you, but we have a lot of the same morals and you would be like a grandparent to Harry. You could tell him about me. He would be lucky to have you. I just don't want him to forget me." Lily finished. She was lost in thought.

"Lily, Harry is a part of you and James. He is already luck to have two parents that not only love him, but each other. Yes, it is true you might not make it, but it is also true that can never forget you while other people have memories of you in there heart's." Dumbledore spoke slowly. "And yes, I will do everything in my power to make him safe."

"Thank you." Lily whispered.

"Have you spoken to James about this?"

"Yes, and he pretty much said what you said but not so eloquently." Lily laughed. "That's why I married him you know."

"Because of his incorrect grammar?" Dumbledore joked.

"He always makes me laugh." Lily said smiling. She was looking at James and Sirius playing with Harry who was laughing hysterically. "And he's a wonderful father."

"Lil, come over here I think Harry said his first word!" James exclaimed. Lily ran over.

"What did he say?" Lily asked.

"Harry tell mama what you said."

"BROOM!" A toothless Harry grinned.

"He's going to be a Quiddich player!" James exclaimed happily. Lily scooped up her baby and kissed her husband on the cheek.

"I think we should get Harry home." Lily suggested.

"Me to." James replied coming up behind her. Snape stood there walking away with Black and tried not to be bitter, they looked like such a happy family. Then the picture faded and Snape found himself in Dumbledore's office once more. The old Wizard came in the room to find Snape crumpled on the floor.

"She was happy wasn't she?" Snape asked standing up.

"Yes, she was."

"Good." Snape said. "She deserved that." He now realized him greatest mistake, he underestimated Potter, he really did love Lily and Lily loved James. "Can I ask one question?"

"Yes."

"If I hadn't of pushed her away did you think…..would she have chosen…never mind, I don't want to know." Snape said exiting the room. She was happy. He repeated this over and over again in his head. He had to keep this in his head. She loved James, they were fated, but at least he could take comfort in that one golden fact: She was happy and that's all he could ask for.

(A/N I loved seeing Snape be very human in this book and exploring his love for Lily, but I am a firm believer that James was the man for Lily. Just look at there patroness's a stag and a doe. Also just look at how Lily blushed when Snape talked about him and how JKR said she always had a thing for James. So I wanted Snape to understand that even though at age 15 James was a prat he did love Lily and there family very much. So tell me what you think!