Wonkel Baby
This holiday ditty is dedicated to the lovely Turrislucidus, whose tale of her sweetie's sarcastic name for our darling Mr. Wonka placed this very silly song firmly into my head. Thank you for your sublime inspiration! I do not own Mr. Wonka, Tim Burton, Johnny Depp, or Santa Baby. But I did purchase a Wonka Gingerbread House Kit. (Shouldn't those be shaped like the Bucket house?).
Wonkel baby, just slip a ladle under the spree for me;
I'll put hair cream on your squirrel, Wonkel baby,
I'm worried about your memories tonight.
Wonkel baby, licorice ropes and gobstoppers too, light blue;
I'll wait up for you, dear; Wonkel baby,
I'm worried about your memories tonight.
Think of all the fun you've missed;
Wearing cagey braces cause your dad insists;
Dreamy chocolate creamy, your kisses sublime…
We'll make exploding candy in Great Glass on the line;
That's up and out!
Wonkel baby, I want a yacht and really that's not a lot;
I love your pink one my dear; Wonkel baby,
I'm worried about your memories tonight.
[instrumental intermission]
Wonkel honey, there's one thing that I really do need...
The deed... to a rock candy mine, Wonkel baby,
I'm worried about your memories tonight.
Wonkel cutie, come fill my stocking with your complex, no sex;
I won't be crossing the line, Wonkel cutie,
I'm worried about your memories tonight.
Come and trim my Christmas tree with some canes of candy filled with nerds for free;
I really do believe in you;
Let's see if you believe in me...
Ba dee pa dee
Wonkel Willy, forgot to mention one little thing... A ring...
Fudge Mountain scree for the stone; Wonkel baby,
I'm worried about your memories tonight.
I'm worried about your memories tonight.
What? Tonight?