"Black Holes and Revelations"
by HugoCogs (first written 3-25-13, last revised 4-2-13)
Disclaimer: Bioware owns the toys. I just play with them in my sandbox.
A/N: This story takes place in a head canon I have been fleshing out since I finished ME3 last month. It's set in an AU version of the "Control Ending", but one in which Shepard somehow seems to survive the process...but not without significant consequences. I've got plot ideas in my head that spread out a good thousand years or so but...we'll see how this one story works out, as a start. :-). It takes place roughly 36 years after the end of the Reaper War, after a lot of the "sturm und drang" in Shepards post war life has played itself out.
This is actually the first fan fiction I've ever written; to be honest, this is actually the first full story I've ever managed to write and finish, so I apologize in advance for it's rather amateurish nature; I may come back from time to time and continue to polish it up. As time and ability permit, I'm hoping to flesh the series out (which I have tentitively entitled "Once More Unto The Breach".) with more one shot stories.
Please enjoy, and I welcome your reviews.
VERSION HISTORY:
4-2-13: Fixed an egregious spelling mistake that I am absolutely SHOCKED to have made. Made another format change to improve readability based on a review, and made some minor tweaks while I was in there. Thanks for your initial feedback folks, I'm really surprised at how quickly this got read and reviewed.
4-18-13: A few very minor edits so that it falls into better continuity for future events in OMUTB. For some people currently reading OMUTB however, this could be rather SPOILER-Y. This will probably happen more than once as the main story continues to develop. So be warned.
NOTE: (7-6-13): While this piece served as a proof of concept for Once More Unto The Breach, and might contain some spoilers, it has begun to drift in some small but significant ways (ESPECIALLY with regards to the ultimate disposition of Holly and Traynors relationship) from what's actually going to happen at the conclusion. I plan on rewriting this, and putting it in as a chapter of the main story, when the time comes. So enjoy it, but realize that this is more of an "idea taking shape" than full canon in my story now. - HgC
Holliandra Shepard cracked one eye open, as she slowly awoke. Judging from the angle of the artificial sunlight filtering into her apartment window, it was clearly well into the "morning cycle" of the Galactic Standard Day on the Citadel, an observation she quickly confirmed by glancing over to her bedside clock and reading the display:
0930 GST – April 3, 2222 C.E.
Rising slowly from the bed, she stretched with a slight but audible creak, and frowned lightly to herself. This was the third time in a row that her VI had failed to awaken her at 0800 hours on the dot, per her standing instructions. Baring a program error or other general failure in it's system, there was only one other explanation for that.
Gathering herself up, and slipping on her robe, Shepard washed and took care of business in the spacious bathroom of the Silversun apartment that her dear friend and mentor, Admiral Anderson had left to her, all those decades previously. It had continued to function splendidly as a second home for her and her family, when they weren't normally on Thessia. She smiled to herself as she realized that today was the day Liara and two of their three daughters would be returning from visiting their Grandfather on an Asari retirement colony. Not that Aethyta was really the retiring type but...she was'nt getting any younger. Shepard herself had been with them, but had returned back to the Citadel early, in anticipation of catching up on work...but that work had failed to materialize thus far.
Glancing at herself in the mirror as she got dressed, she had to admit that despite the encroaching years, she looked pretty damn good for a woman about to hit 68 in a few days. Recent advancements in anagathic treatments, combined with a curious side effect from her synthetic implants seemed to have slowed her aging process down just a bit. She wasn't going to be keeping up with Liara in the grand scheme of things, but she figured she could easily expect to push 190, maybe even a little longer. Regardless, age *was* having it's way with her, just a bit. Weather related aches, reflexes that weren't quite as quick as before. And she did have enough issues so that Dr. Michele had put her on a specific diet that heavily cut out what Shepard had bemusedly referred to as "real food that tastes like God-damn real food." Granted, she hadn't seen anything approaching actual combat in about 15 or 20 years, so it wasn't like she had a lot of excuses to keep in peak condition either. Still, she had managed to avoid the general sags and weight gain that often plagued the females of her species at this stage of the game, so to speak, and that always put a spring in her step.
A few minutes later, she was down in the kitchen, cup of coffee in hand, automated systems preparing a "low fat" version of James Vega's "famous ranchos hueveros", using some sort of horrific egg substitute that tasted almost but not exactly unlike actual eggs. Perhaps they weren't meant to actually be a substitute for *chicken* eggs; that would certainly make more sense. She leaned back, took a sip, and thought to herself "I have GOT to get back into some sort of exercise routine, if just so I can start justifying eating real food again. Getting tired of this horsecrap". While she waited for breakfast to finish cooking she summoned her VI, calling out to the house computer systems.
"Kanji! That's three days in a row you let me sleep in. What's the deal? Seriously.". A blue holographic duodecagon formed out of thin air, focusing into view; it was a rather new iteration that Liara had programmed for her last year...as much as Shepard would love to believe that the thing could be glitchy, her bondmate had become a programmer par excellence over the years so that was highly unlikely.
The VI responded in a terribly pleasing Australian accent that Liara had modeled off of Miranada's vocal patterns directly, some time back. "That is because for three days in a row, your priority message box has gone empty when the appointed time came by, Doctor Shepard." She couldn't help but smile; she had earned her Doctorate in Interspecies Peace Studies from the Grand Academy of Thessia well over a year ago, but still got a kick being "The other Doctor in the family." Still, this was a new, and somewhat troubling development. For the past two decades now, she had operated as a sort of freelance "Galactic Mediator-at-Large", someone who lacked official backing from any one particular Government, but who had become so respected and trusted across all of known space that she could be brought in to help smooth out various disputes between various Governments and even between Corporate entities now and then. In years past, her message box had been filled with various entities, job offers, and critical information vital to performing her job. But now...it seemed things were different.
Oh, she had to admit that it wasn't as suddenly as she might initially argue; certainly, over the past two or three years, it seemed there had been fewer and fewer jobs coming through...ones worth a damn, at any rate. And she had given up on the expense and trouble of maintaining an office on Illium barely a year ago. She just wasn't expecting the trickle to suddenly dry up one day. But she hadn't expected to come back home after the Omega Relay either, so this was hardly a major loss.
Still, Shepard couldn't help but exclaim "Kanji, are you sure you're functioning correctly?" a question she knew the answer to, but couldn't help peevishly ask regardless. "I swear, if I discover that all my important messages have been getting accidentally routed into the great black hole of my deleted folder, I will be..." she tried to think of an appropriate descriptive adjective at this point, snapping her fingers aimlessly in thought, and merely settled upon a time-worn classic "Pissed". "Rip shit pissed". She added. Admittedly, it had sounded cooler in her head than when she actually spoke the words.
"Doctor Shepard, I perform 100 diagnostic checks every second. I assure you that I am operating within expected parameters. I realize you may have difficulty believing me, but no messages meeting the criteria you personally programmed under the heading of "Priority" have been received. However, you still have a significant volume of fan mail, marriage proposals, death threats, fan fiction, and "once-in-a-lifetime investment opportunities", but none of these fit your definition of...priority level importance.
Was it possible that the Galaxy had finally gotten it's shit together, so that it didn't always need the former Commander Shepard to come and hold it together anymore? Well...hallelujah if that were so! Maybe this was it. Maybe this was the day that she finally considered retirement. Certainly, Liara had been gently poking her about it. And it'd be great to spend more time with her daughters. She avoided thinking about it, previously, because she wondered what the hell she was going to do to occupy her time without her career...but lately, the notion of having far more time to pursue her hobbies and personal interests anew began to hold greater appeal.
The VI suddenly blinked red, twice. "Doctor, you have received a new priority message. Might I suggest that this is sufficient evidence of proper functional state?"
She rolled her eyes, snorted, and downed the rest of her cooling coffee, muttering to herself "Yeah, laugh it up, microchip boy". So much for the grand plans for retirement, at least for today. She knew it was probably too good to be true. "Yes. Alright. You've made your point. Play it back on the display in the den, would you please?" Wandering over by the wall panel by the bar on the first floor of the apartment, she was pleasantly surprised to see a recording of Garrus Vakarian fill the screen.
The pre-recorded message began to play: "Shepard. Passing through the Citadel on my way elsewhere. Saw you were aboard station, and thought I'd invite you out for lunch. Say 1200 hours at the place across the street from your apartment? You know the one. Hope to see you soon." The screen then blinked out.
While she wasn't exactly in the mood for French cuisine today, she would have eaten at least eat five plates of thebreakfast she was currently gagging down if it meant spending time with her oldest and dearest friend.
A few hours later, Shepard made the quick walk over to Ryushi, dressed in one of her nicer white "power business skirts" and green blouse; Liara had liked to tease her that she had gotten "more girly" in her middle age, but she always maintained that she was always "girly", and had just gotten more comfortable about outward appearances of such as time went on. After being shown to the table by the maitre d', she couldn't help by smile as Garrus rose up to greet her, meeting her amiable embrace.
"Soooo. I'm surprised they're still letting you in this place, Shepard. After what you did to it, the first time you came here?"
She rolled her eyes, but still smiled, giving him a close, gentle hug "It's good to see you too, Garrus. And are you ALWAYS going to bring that up, every time we eat here?"
He shrugged his shoulders slightly as they parted and said "Hey now, give me some credit. It's been what, a good five years at least since I made that crack."
Shaking her head with mock exasperation, Shepard replied "Garrus? You remember the last time we ate here? How long ago?"
He paused for a moment in thought and said "Oh, let's see...I would guess about five years ago?" The last few words came out as a warbled, flanging chuckle, as he was unable to maintain a complete deadpan response. As they sat down, he said "Well regardless, how are you doing? You look fantastic by the way. You put an old man like me to shame."
She laughed lightly "That's a little more like it. And I'm good. I'm doing...really well, actually. I'm glad you've come through today, it's making me think that a big decision that I'm about to make...maybe your visit is more than just mere coincidence." She quickly explained to him about the events, or lack thereof, for the past few days, and how they were prompting her to strongly consider retirement. He nodded, and spoke as they casually glanced over their electronic datapads that served as menus
"Shepard, in the span of barely half an average human lifetime, you've died and come back to life...twice. Maybe three times? Honestly, I've forgotten at this point. Frankly, if it were me, I would have run off to a tropical little beach, and lived off the vid royalties, like I always talked about, from the moment the Reapers were halted in their tracks and started acting like good little doggies." he paused for a moment, then sighed "Oh, who am I kidding? I would have gotten bored, living like that. But I'm sure you'll find more than enough to keep you engaged while technically no longer 'working'. Especially if this isn't something you're being forced into. I know you, and you'd hate that."
They made small talk for a few minutes, before she finally asked "So... what brings you through this way? You're still in the independent security consulting racket, right?"
He nodded, still barely glancing at his menu, trying to make up his mind, and failing at present. "Yeah. Love it. For all my talk a minute ago about retiring to a nice beach somewhere, you and I both know the first thing I'd be trying to do is wire up a perimeter defense grid around my beach chair. Officially, I'm here at the request of the Turrian embassy; I..um...suspect they are going to try and promote me to Ambassador."
Shepard blinked, turning away from her own menu, which she was having equal difficulty getting interested in, with regards to what to order. "What, again?".
"Third time, actually." he replied. "There's an old saying on Palaven: 'If you want to neutralize a troublesome foe, sometimes it is best to promote him.'. I suspect I still rub enough scales the wrong way that they'd rather keep me tied down here, even after all these years. But here's the trick: it's difficult for them to pull me into their game if I refuse to play it in the first place." He paused for a moment, and then just put his menu down, sighing.
Shepard responded "Well, give'em hell, Vakarian. Not that you need me to tell you that. And...unofficially?"
Garrus perked up at this "Oh yes, in actuality, I'm passing through on my way to Rannoch. Um. Tali and I, we've been in pretty constant contact over the last year and...well. I think we're going to give it another try, this being together thing, I mean."
Shepard took a sip of her ice water, eyes widening "Garrus! That's...so sweet." She smiled...it had broken her heart, just a little, when their marriage had failed, and she would love to see it take, this time around "Especially given how badly it ended the first time you two were together. So, what's changed?".
"Oh...well. We met at a symposium on the current state of the art of starship design; I had been asked to give a speech on emerging technologies in ship weapons systems. Tali, of course, was there to talk about the ongoing attempts to construct a working "jump drive". We met and...it just sort of happened. Naturally. I mean, it's just been talking, first at the symposium and then over the extranet, and a couple of weekend visits. I...I really think it's going to work this time, Shepard." His mandibles crooked up in a Turrian approximation of a grin."
She reached over and squeezed over his hand "Well...it's about damn time. That's fantastic. Please give her my love when you see her, and my apologies for not...well..for not being in touch as often as I should be. Maybe the first thing I'll do after I make this retirement thing official is to get the old Normandy gang back together for another celebration. Those who will still talk to me, that is."
Garrus hmmmed slightly "Look...it was a long time ago. Everyone has pretty much come around to what happened with you, why you went...shall we say...off the deep end, the way you did. But Liara took you back, you lucky dog, and you and I well...you know I would always follow you into hell. However, I'm going to be brutally honest here, you DID take advantage of Traynor, but you admitted as much. You weren't...yourself, those days. But the sad part thing is, sometimes in life, a line gets crossed, for whatever the reason, and people can't find it in their heart to forgive, sometimes with good reason. Samantha still needs to get to that place with regards to you. Would be nice if she made it, but she may not, and...well, I would tell you to accept that, but I suspect that by this stage of the game, you already have. Maybe not entirely, but for the most part."
This was not a direction she wanted the conversation going into. The last thing she needed bringing down her good mood was maudlin remembrances of crimes past. She made one last valiant attempt to find something to her liking on the menu, before suddenly, carelessly tossing it over her shoulder "You know what, Garrus? Forget this. I'm not a fan of French sushi anyhow. How about we get out of here, get some proper food? Go talk someplace a little less stuffy. I got just the place in mind, but I need to pick something up from the apartment first." She started to rise, ignoring the inquiries of the waitstaff, and Garrus quickly fell in behind her.
"Sure! But, um. Honestly Shepard, I only suggested the place because I thought you had a real soft spot in your heart for it." She slowed slightly, but didn't fully stop, glancing over at her friend, from over her shoulder
"Are you kidding me? I can't *stand* the place. I only came here because I thought YOU enjoyed it, and I just didn't have the heart to talk you out of it."
Garrus laughed loudly as they exited the restaurant and started the short walk towards the apartment. "Oh for Spirits sake! Shepard...we have got to stop hiding secrets from each other like this. We're getting too old for it."
As the pair headed for the apartment, Garrus inquired "So how are things with the Family Shepard-T'soni these days?"
Smiling softly, she responded "Oh. You know. Liara continues to be a force of nature unto herself, and I am simply too lucky to have her in my life. As I am constantly doing my best to remind her, in whatever way that I can."
Chuckling, he added "I believe Miranda once said something to the effect of 'Shepard would crawl through a mile of broken glass simply to sweat in that woman's shadow.'. I'm not quite sure I get the meaning, except that it's got to be pretty good."
Laughing and shaking her head, Shepard responded "Yes, well...um. Anyhow. Hippolyta, we just saw her off to Asari Commando "boot camp" a few months ago. She's on her first leave from the academy. Who knows, after 30 or 40 years of training, they might actually let her hold a gun."
Garrus hmmmed in the back of his throat "If she can wait that long. That eldest daughter of yours is hellbent on becoming the youngest Asari Specter in history. I wouldn't be surprised if she decides to renounce her citizenship, join the Systems Alliance, and climb up the ranks that way." He held up his hands in a slightly defensive posture in reaction to the look Shepard gave him. "Look, I"m just saying it's obvious that she's Daddy's Special Girl, and she knows it. I mean, Spirits sake, she changed her last name to yours as soon as she reached her age of ascent. You two have a bond, same as what Hyapatia and her mother have developed. Which unfortunately leaves..."
"...Hera stuck in the same hell a lot of middle children seem to fall into." Shepard finished, sighing heavily, and pausing for a moment before the elevator to the floor her apartment was on. "Just another example of everything the bad years took from me, Garrus. 'Lyta will always forgive because, like you said, she so desperately wants me to remain the hero in her life. Hype' wasn't born yet when Liara and I finally reconciled. But Hera...I don't think she ever forgave the years I spent apart from them all. And now she's finding her own way, on Omega of all places." She shook her head, sad and angry at the same time. "And I can't help but think that Aria's reassurances of 'I'll look after her as if she were my own daughter' isn't just secret Asari code for 'I'm going to try and groom her as my eventual successor. So nya, nya, Shepard'"
Garrus stepped into the elevator with Shepard as the doors opened. "So nya, nya?" he stated quizzically, clearly not understanding the meaning. She simply shrugged and looked up at the ceiling.
He continued "Well, you did always have an angry streak that sometimes came out at the most inopportune moments. As certain annoying reporters and Quarian Admirals had a way of painfully discovering. I suppose Hera is...well...like that. But look, there's time. A lot of time, even though it probably doesn't feel that way right now. I realize I speak as someone who's never had to raise a child, but trust me on this one. You just have to be willing to let it be on her terms, and to let her back in when she's ready. She's what... um...29, 30? However old she is now... its a pretty adult age by both our races, but she's barely a snot-nosed teenager by Asari standards."
Shepard murmured "I know, Garrus. It's just...I just hope she survives long enough for any sort of reconciliation to even happen. Somedays, it takes every ounce of strength I have not to charge into the Afterlife, throw that girl over my shoulder, and drag her back to Thessia. At least she came out to visit her Grandfather along with Liara and the girls. Once I left, which was part of the plan, of course. Anyhow, less maudlin talk! More plotting shenanigans!" She lead him over towards her bedroom, and Garrus had to bite his tongue to keep from remarking that this wasn't exactly what he was expecting in terms of 'shenanigans'. Reaching up from a display mount on the wall, Shepard removed a sniper rifle, and slotted in an ammo block she removed from a nearby case, as well as a heat sink clip. Smiling, she unfolded the weapon and murmured "Helloooo old friend...". It was her Black Widow, the one she requisitioned through her Specter connections during the war with the Reapers. It was old, hardly state of the art, but still highly effective, and Garrus had an odd notion that it was a perfect metaphor for the owner as well.
Suddenly he chuckled "Oh. I see exactly where this is going."
"Yuuuup." was all she responded with in a drawl, as she headed back with Garrus in tow towards her personal shuttle.
Up on the highest point of the Presidium, Garrus and Shepard had spent the last few minutes taking turns target shooting with the sniper rifle. On the way, they had first snagged a more agreeable meal. And while the inevitable march of time and disuse had sanded down the sharp edges of their skill, they were still well and evenly matched.
It was Shepards turn, and she had managed to eventually tag the bottle Garrus had pitched out into the air...just. She bit down on her lip, and thought to herself "You know...first thing tomorrow, I'll go back to the shooting range and train up again. And why not...the retirement thing could realllllly appeal to a girl.". Maybe she'd even find time to finish that huge model of the Destiny Ascension she had been working on since the previous century.
Garrus interrupted her brief reverie, contentedly chomping on the food they had brought up from a small kiosk. As Shepard turned and walked slowly back, she started to hand the rifle over to Garrus, who gently waved it away, indicating he'd take his turn shortly. "You know..." he began "...now that I've got these advanced digestion implants installed...I do have to admit I AM developing a certain fondness for some Earth cuisine, at least. What did you call this again?" He washed down the bite with a slug of beer as she sat down next to him, picking her own sandwich up and taking a bite.
Speaking around the mouthful of food, she answered "Bacon Double Cheeseburger. Steakburger, really. Only place on the Citadel that gets it right." Dr. Michele would be riding her ass halfway to Terra if she knew how egregiously she was breaking her diet routine, but if the Great Savior of the Galaxy couldn't indulge every so often, especially with a close confidant she hadn't seen in a couple of years, then what was the point?
Finishing another bite, Garrus put his meal down. "I particularly like the bacon part. It reminds me of an animal we have back on Palaven, called a pakkalaat. They're a bit leaner than this, but I think that's the endearing part. And these fried tubers that you dip into the berry and vinegar sauce are growing on me as well." He wiped his hands off on a napkin, and tossed it away, letting the wind catch it and carry it away, and took the rifle at last.
Suddenly inspired, Shepard chugged down her bottle of beer, and quickly tossed it out without warning. As Garrus lined up his shot, she let out an extremely loud belch...the shot connected, but barely. Turning and giving Shepard the Turrian equivalent of an exasperated look of bemusement, he mused "Now that was hardly sporting. And it still didn't do you any good. If anything, it just made me look like that much more of a badass"
Shepard laughed even louder in response. "Hey! It's what separates the pros from the rookies, if I remember what you said, all those years ago correctly." She took another bite as Garrus rejoined her, sitting on the hood of the shuttle "God, where the hell did the time go, Garrus?"
Shrugging his shoulders slightly, he replied "I think we know the answer to that, better than most. The last 30-plus years? A lot of ups, a lot of downs. Sometimes it seemed the downs would never stop...um...being down. Still. You know, it's funny, but even with all the various getting shot at, suicide missions, and end-of-the-world-as-we-know it battle to end all battles...those days on the Normandy are still the ones I miss the most. It was OUR time, Shepard. We were at the forefront of it all, and we were going to mark our mark on the galaxy with what we did. And unlike most who set out to do it...we actually succeeded" He paused for a moment, thoughtfully "Mmmm. To be young again. A group that I am afraid, old friend, you and I have lost our membership cards to, a long time ago."
Leaning in, Shepard smiled "Speak for yourself Vakarian...I plan to live forever." The slight ache in her right arm reminded her how false that bravado actually was. Grimacing just a bit, she stretched the kink out, preparing for her next turn. "You're right. It _was_ our time. You know what I loved best about that? You know, other than the headshots and the explosions, of course?"
Snorting, Garrus replied "Of course. Well, I'm tempted to say that it was the hours you constantly spent constructing and fiddling with those toy model ships you were so inordinately fond of. That, or your unfortunate habit of forgetting to feed your fish." He shook his head with amusement. "Long philosophical discussions on the nature of existence with your hamster, perhaps?"
Giving him a soft, playful kick, Shepard answered "Walking the ship. Especially after a major mission. I had a whole routine you know? Top to bottom. And it was all 'Oh! Lets see what funny quip Joker has to say about our last adventure! What tactless insight would Javik make, something like "In my cycle, we didn't talk with our fish, we ate them!' as Shepard made a comical impression of the Protheans voice. "What cute moment would I have with Tali? And of course, the ultimate mystery...would Garrus finally get the damn guns perfectly calibrated?"
Garrus paused for a good ten seconds, before finally answering "You have GOT to be kidding me."
She shook her head, more somber now, but still bright in her expression "No. I'm dead serious. I loved it. It got to the point where we'd come back from the firefight, and after a few hours, I'd start to walk through the halls...eager to see what my crew...my family...what you were all up to. What you were going through. Even when the war got to it's darkest time, I looked so forward to these "inspection tours". I think especially then...it's what reminded me of exactly what I was fighting for. It's...well..it's what kept me going.
Chewing through a particularly large bite of his hamburger, Garrus starred at Shepard, and after an appropriate amount of beats, replied "Who knew you took your namesake so to heart. Mama Shepard, keeping an eye on her flock." He laughed, holding up his arms slightly as she gently punched his shoulder in mock indignation.
"Yeah yeah...see if I ever share my secret heart with you again. And my last name isn't spelled that way, either." she grumbled, goodnaturedly, as she started to reach for the sniper rifle. She was stopped, however, by Garrus, gently grabbing her wrist.
"Look, Holly...I". Shepard paused, tiling her head in curiosity. This was perhaps only the sixth time in their decades-long friendship he had referred to her by her first name. Which usually meant some sort of Big Deal was about to occur. "I actually have something I suddenly want to say, have wanted to say for a long time...and I believe it's only about another ten minutes before C-Sec absolutely has to stop turning a blind eye to what we're doing up here, so let me speak quickly." He paused, straightening up. "Being up here again, talking about the old days; laughing when God knows laughter was in such short supply sometimes. Well look, to cut right to the chase: you remember the first time I brought you up here, right?" Shepard nodded in response, her attention now completely focused on the Turrian. It...wasn't just about a last great "huzzah" before what at the time seemed to be our final battle. Although I suppose in a way it was. I brought you up here because I was going to tell you...that I was in love with you."
Struck speechless, Shepard looked at Garrus for almost a good 20 seconds before finally responding
"Yeahbuhwah?".
Blinking and shaking her head slightly, she laughed, albeit a bit nervously "Garrus, I...I had no idea. Wow. Um...alright. I know the Soul of the New Machines messed with my memories a little, but I do clearly remember that NOT happening in the end. So what kept you from going through with it?"
Garrus nodded once, crossing his arms and leaning back for a moment "Yes, well...a little birdy told me that you and Liara had suddenly gotten back together, not thirty minutes before you were supposed to come meet with me." He shook his head, smiling somewhat ruefully."It was...a longshot, I knew. I wasn't even expecting it to go anywhere, not really, even if you were single. But...hmmm...ultimately, I decided that I valued my friendship with you above all else, so I got over it. And you looked so happy at the time, I didn't want to...what's that expression you humans use? I didn't want things to 'get weird.'"
Busying herself by rechecking the heat sink on the sniper rifle, Shepard couldn't help but grin. "Yeah...that would have been...weird. Sweet though. Really." She looked up at him and regarded him with great affection. "Look, Garrus..." she stopped, smiling a bit wider, not sure at first how to proceed. "I'm sure I would have been extremely flattered back then, no matter what. Hell, I'm flattered even now. But it never would have worked out, at all."
Garrus started "Right, because I'm a..."
"Male, that's right." That wasn't exactly the answer Garrus was expecting, but it wasn't a surprising one either. "It's just not what Rodgers my Hammerstein." He nodded, although the reference was completely lost on him."But...well look, you remember Mordin Solus, right?" she asked rhetorically. "We had this very amusing misunderstanding once upon a time, and I'm going to paraphrase something he told me once." Fixing a look on him, and trying to approximate the long-dead Salarians tone of voice, she quickly-yet-haltingly stated "If intended to try male, would try you."
He raised his brows "Yeah? Huh. Is that right?"
Shepard nodded, "Yup. You are dead sexy, Vakarian. You and Thane. Something tells me if I swung that way, I would have claimed one or both of you." She paused, suddenly stopping short. She hadn't thought about Thane in years...even now, there was a slight ache in her heart, that his death had left behind. She would never admit it, even in this moment, but despite her inclinations, Thane was perhaps the one man in the galaxy she had come closest to ever having romantic feelings for.
Suddenly giving him a hug, and following it up with a slow poke to the face with her fist "But, you're my brother, Garrus. In-arms and...well...the closest thing I ever had to one in blood, at any rate. And as my brother, you are going to throw that damn bottle, and I'm going to hit it. Then it's your turn. And then we should probably call it a draw, and run away before we get arrested." She smirked, with a slight swagger, but then stopped short. "Seriously though. Thank you...for telling me. That couldn't have been easy."
Garrus demured "Well, it was a long, long time ago. And like I said before, I realized that I treasured my friendship too much to let any fleeting crush get in the way of what was most important, in the end. And now..." finishing off his own beer, he tossed it over Shepard head...tried to belch, and failed to be as distracting. But still...something quite remarkable happened all the same.
She missed.
Oh, not by much...but the bottle wizzed down, unscathed, into the traffic. Unseen by Garrus, however, was the wide grin on Shepard's face, what James would have called "shit-eating" if he had seen it there and then. She lowered the rifle, and suddenly comported her features into an exaggerated expression of concern, murmuring "Ohhhh. Yikes. I hope that doesn't hit anyone we know or care about."
Garrus straightened up and spoke in a triumphant tone "Well, I can't believe it. After all this time." hoisting his cheeseburger in victory, he pumped his arms in the air, and said "My name is Garrus Vakarian...and this is NOW my favorite spot on the Citadel."
Palming a hand to her forehead, Shepard suppressed a laugh "Hey! It was windy...and I'm old...and oh my God, Garrus. How long have you been saving THAT one up?"
"You" he said, punctuating the word by pointing at her with his hand, the one clenching his food "have no idea."
The two just stared at each other, in an easy silence, borne of the decades, burdens, and triumphs shared...the moment spoiled only by the sudden flash of lights from the beacons on top of the C-Sec shuttle bearing down on their location.
Looking back up, and then over to Garrus, Shepard remarked "Huh. Was that 10 minutes? I think we're getting slow in our old age."
"I can't believe that worked. Operation...and I quote 'Fire...um...Cobra...Claw'. Really, Shepard. I don't know what surprised me more...what you pulled out of your lower cavity, or that C-Sec actually bought it"
A wide, mischievous grin spread on her lips as she drove the shuttle. Shepard answered back "Oh yeah. If anything, I can't believe that trick still keeps working...every time I get in trouble for bending the rules a bit, I always break that one out. Seems even though I'm not officially a Specter anymore, they're willing to cut me some slack like I'm one. Within reason, of course. Ask Grunt about it sometime, he still loves to tell that story."
Glancing over at the central readout on the console, her grin softened, turned more heartfelt "Hey...their shuttle just docked. Tell you what, I just had a crazy idea. We pick Liara and the girls up, we go home, have dinner, and tomorrow, I drag them along with me, and we all go to Rannoch together, with you."
Garrus held a hand over his face for a moment, and murmured uncomfortably "Look...Shepard, no offense...but I was really hoping to make my visit a one Turrian-one Quarian sort of affair."
Running a hand through her hair for a moment, Shepard answered in a reassuring tone "Ohhhh..don't worry. I'll make sure you have plenty of private kissy-smoochy time; you two will be re-enacting Fleet and Flotilla with the best of them in no time, I promise."
Garrus seemed slightly mollified by this and nodded slowly "Alright. Sure. Why not? I guess this makes your retirement official then?"
Shepard nodded "I guess it does. Oh, and Garrus?"
"Yes?"
"Yeah, sharing and caring time is sweet and all, but I would seriously not let Liara know what you told me earlier." Despite the words, her eyes were still dancing with amusement.
Widening his own eyes, Garrus replied "Are you kidding? I don't know about you, Shepard...but I'm too young...and far too pretty to die today."
The two laughed, and then lapsed into a comfortable silence as their shuttle made it's way to the Docking level.