Title: Into the West
Author: monitorscreen
Fandom: The Wheel of Time
Characters: Lan Mandragoran, Moiraine Damodred
Rating: G
Word count: 556
Disclaimer: The Wheel of Time is the creation of Robert Jordan, not mine.
Summary: He did not know he still had it in him to cry.
Author's notes: Fic #11 for LJ comm Ficlets onon Demand's Fic a Day June Challenge. Request: Strong character crying by galerian-ash.
Into the West
by monitor screen
-o-
No matter how fast Mandarb could run, it was impossible to get from Cairhien to Salidar in a day. Impossible when the One Power was not involved, anyway.
Lan had made camp by a barren slope that night, for lack of other shelters. It was a clear good night for travelling, the moon bright in the sky, but Lan did not want to push Mandarb too hard - there was still a long road ahead.
There was still a long road ahead in everything. The quest Moiraine and he had laboured for the past decades was far from completed. Even now Lan could hardly believe Moiraine had left it all to the wind, had planned her own doom alongside Lanfear's. The Forsaken had to be destroyed, of course; but sometimes Lan could not help to think the Aes Sedai was too ruthless for her own good.
Lan supposed Moiraine had always been tougher than he was, in the ways that mattered. She was the one who would weigh all factors coldly, and chose the best solution, regardless of any personal feelings. Every step was for the bigger picture, the overall weaves of the Pattern. The pain of an individual thread was inconsequential.
Lan did not share the same mentality. Duty had priority, surely, but lives - especially those of valued comrades - should not be thrown away so casually. Lan had not given up trying to save everyone he could. He was not jaded enough yet.
Trying did not mean succeeding, though. Lan had failed Moiraine, a long time companion and colleague. The beginning of their relationship might be turbulent, but they had become close over the years. There was no one Lan trusted more than Moiraine Damodred. She had been steadfast all through their journeys, forever keeping the Quest in mind. The trials this slender, delicate woman had survived could petrify the strongest of men. That she had not survived...
Moiraine was too good to die so soon. Beneath the controlling Aes Sedai people saw, Lan knew there lived a soul of compassion and dedication. Moiraine simply did not live in a time when those qualities would serve. She had offered diligence and wisdom instead, to fight against the shadow, to preserve the world from darkness. Moiraine had made a difference. They could not be where they were without her.
Lan did not know if they could be where they wanted to be without her.
He had not felt so lost in years, so uncertain of the future. Moiraine's dreams had been his, her plans his aims. It was an assuring knowledge that she was devoted to fighting the shadow, that he was doing the same in her service. Lan did not know Myrelle Sedai; not her person, her dreams or her goals. He did not like the idea of entrusting a stranger. Even if it was someone Moiraine had faith in.
Moiraine did not always come up with the best of plans. Her most recent one had cost her life.
Lan rubbed a weary hand over his face, encountering moisture, surprisingly. He did not know he still had it in him to cry. He had lost other comrades in this war, numerous others; he thought he was seasoned enough to take it in strides.
But then, Moiraine had been special. Lan would miss her.
-o-