Ryuuji appeared depressed most of the time. That was what Yasuko felt about her son, and it worried her. He looked worse since dating Ami. However, she was glad that he always was open to her; her son did not conceal his life from her and that meant they could have genuine talks. So as they relaxed together in the afternoon sun she asked, "Ryuuji, do you love Ami?"

Ryuuji kind of laughed as Yasuko took a gulp from her second beer and he replied, "No way mom. Sometimes I'm not sure why I date her. I never seem to get a person I care about that much. Ami's fine, but I don't plan on sticking with her after I finish high school. It would be great to have someone...kind of...you know."

Yasuko said, "You're very young. You'll get somebody if you just be patient honey; she's out there for you."

She thought of how unselfish his soul was. When his birthday arrived, he insisted on spending the day with her before going to his birthday celebration with his pals. Even though he had friends and a girlfriend, Ryuuji also did not want to distance himself from his foremost relationship.

"I'm going to miss you when you leave Ryuuji," she said.

"I'll miss you too mom, but there's still the summer before I leave, and then I'll return here for the breaks, and perhaps you could also visit me occasionally, right?"

"Yes baby," she said. She bent over and rested her head against his arm. She would have been shocked to learn what the sensation of that physical contact was doing to her young son. Yasuko was unaware that her son was feeling sexually attracted toward her. He lightly caressed her cheeks and she breathed out contentedly and closed her eyelids.

Yasuko recalled the time she was brought to a tiny hospital, and gave birth to her illegitimate baby all those many years ago. Now the young mother and son had developed a closely tied connection.

The best part of Yasuko's day had been when Ryuuji came home, so it was with trepidation that she faced his last few weeks of living at home. She understood that with autumn would come his leaving for college; that was not the issue. The issue was how she would manage without him.

As the melting sun brushed them, Ryuuji appreciated the intimacy they shared as always, and as always, was able to ogle at her the way he did, when she was unaware that he was staring. He scanned the bends of her calves with his eyes, and then gripped her bosoms in his gaze. He could nearly sense the heavy weight of the fleshy spheres that were now pushed together. Because of her sitting position, the garment stretched tightly on top of her breasts. He could perceive the shape of her areola, and it made it hard to conceal his excitement. He tried to hide the expression of his desire from his unknowing mother when she opened her eyelids.

Yasuko returned the conversation to Ami and said, "Even if you don't love her, there must be some things you appreciate about her, right?"

Ryuuji drank the remainder of his beer and chuckled, "She's got a great figure, although not as hot as yours mom."

She blushed a little and said, "Oh come on, is that all you search for in a woman?"

He said, "No, but that's all I seem to get. Maybe it's me; I just don't seem to connect." His voice became soft and he said, "It's because of you mom; I can't find a girl who understands me as you do."

She said, "Oh stop it, Ami is intelligent, and she's a beautiful woman Ryuuji. I wish I looked like that."

He said, "Mom, you're way above Ami. You're hot, don't you know that?"

She gave him a questioning smile and he looked her up and down and he said, "You look stunning." The way she inhaled somehow urged him enough to say, "You also have nice tits."

She said, "Ryuuji, I'm your mother!"

He said, "What? If I said you have gorgeous legs, that would be fine, but if I say you have nice tits that's not fine?"

Yasuko wriggled, "Ryuuji, you're embarrassing me."

He said, "You have nothing to be ashamed about; you should be happy about the way you look. I am."

She said, "You are? Well, that makes me feel happy, thank you baby."

He said, "Mom..." He wanted to say, 'I want us both to feel good, together, rolling in his bed, screwing each other's brains out. He wanted to tell her how much he desired her, but the two beers weren't enough to get him past "Mom..."

Yasuko said, "What is it Ryuuji, you look so down all of a sudden." He looked away and didn't answer. "Ryuuji? What is it, tell me."

"I can't," he said.

"Of course you can. You can tell me anything, you know that, don't you?"

"Not this," he said.

"Honey I love you, tell me, if you have a problem just tell me, you know there's nothing I wouldn't do for you."

"Fine mom," he said, "I do have a problem, I...love someone who'll never love me the way I do, and if I told her, she'd certainly hate me."

"Oh Ryuuji, I'm sure you're wrong. No girl is going to hate you for loving her. Did you even tell her? Ryuuji you never know about these things, you..."

"It's you mom," he said.

Yasuko did not comprehend at first and was silent for a moment. It seemed like eternity until she looked into his eyes and finally understood.

To be continued…

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