"And so, when Austen says that it is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of great fortune must be in want of a wife, she sets the story up rather nicely and we get an idea of where she's going with the whole book." Wammy's house on a Wednesday afternoon in the lazy heat of June was not a particularly exciting place for the eight year olds that teacher Hakim Mansoor found himself faced with. A small boy named Near sat at the back, twirling his hair around his finger, not really paying attention. Hakim, however, was prepared to let him off, as he knew that the boy would pass the end of unit exam with extraordinary results. Linda was paying even less, having picked up her planner and a pencil. Hakim was not so willing to let her get away with it, and the heat was making him tetchy. He picked up the whiteboard marker on the desk behind him and threw it at the desk in front of her, nicely aimed so that when it bounced; it would jump over her shoulder. The class laughed at the surprised squeak she gave as the pen landed on the floor. She picked it up and wandered over to the front with it.
"Sorry, Mr. Mansoor."
"Pay more attention next time."
"Yes, Mr. Mansoor. I think Matt wants to talk to you. He's skulking by the door."
"Luke, could you let him in?" Matt, who was nine, shuffled through. He handed Mansoor a piece of paper.
"Pass it on to Miss Rey when you're done." He left.
"Hmm... Planners out everyone... and just after you'd put it away, too, Linda. Due to an increasing number of children from foreign cultures in the school," Oh dear, another of Watari's "cultural events", he thought. "Next Tuesday will be national dress day. Wear the national costume of the country you come from." How the times have changed. I remember when they encouraged the kids to forget entirely who they'd been.
"Next Tuesday? I'll never get a dress ready in time!"
"But I'll look so stupid!"
"Wait, what? More of us are foreign? That's not a reason for dressing up!" Hakim looked up from his notes.
"Mr Wammy is very keen on you knowing as much as possible about places overseas. After all, even if you don't become the next L, I'm sure you'll all travel often."
"I think they just want us to dress up and make fools of ourselves."
"Yeah!"
"Don't be ridiculous, Colin. Lara, sit down. Meilin, spit that out!" The children sat, quietly grumbling to themselves. "Volunteer to take this to Miss Rey, please? Adrian? Thank you. Now is there anything you'd like to add to the discussion? Jas?"
"Do we have to dress up?"
"You'd have to ask Roger. Does anyone have anything to add about Austen?"
"I'm from Bath, can I dress like her on Tuesday?"
"No! No, James, you cannot. The next person to ask me anything about dressing up on Tuesday will be in Detention."
"But - !"
"No buts. Is that clear?" The class sighed quietly.
"Yes, Mr Mansoor." They chorused.
"Good Good. Now, as I was saying..."
"Ah!" Linda looked up.
"Are you ok?" She asked.
"Yeah, fine." He said. Linda looked up to see the boy who was "Yeah fine" sucking his thumb. She raised an eyebrow, and he blushed slightly. She got up, half stitched beret still in hand.
"Oooooooohh. Go and get a plaster for that." He stayed where he was, and nonchalantly pulled out a gameboy. "Fine." She replied. "Hmmm? Mello? You aren't doing anything?"
"No."
"Ahhh, why not?"
"Because. Go away."
"I heard Near was going to do something."
"..." Mello got up, and in one fluid moment, grabbed his notebook, some pencils, and strode out the room.
"Well, that worked." Linda said to Matt, who didn't look up. She rolled her eyes.
"Mi mi mi mip, mi mi mi mip, mi mi mi mip..." went the alarm clock.
"Ugh, so early..." Linda complained, climbing out of bed to silence it. She looked at the display.
6:30 AM, TUE 26 JUNE (BST)
"Hmmm... Tuesday!"
She shuffled over to the wardrobe, where there was one very frilly dress, along with a beret. She didn't think France had an official national costume, so she'd done the best she could with what she could find. She brushed her teeth, grabbed her bag, and wandered off towards breakfast downstairs. Stepping into the hall, she found that the canteen seemed so much brighter than it normally did – it looked like a carnival. Linda sat next to her friend Jeungying, reflecting that a girl with elaborately styled hair, in complete make up and a qipao was very pretty, but when she was upgrading an alarm clock into a fully functional calculator radio alarm clock the picture became just plain strange.
"Anyone really interesting?" Jeungying smiled, and nodded towards Near. She drew Linda's wire cutters from the pocket Linda had sewn into her dress.
"Will these cut barbed wire?"
"I expect so. Do I want to know why?"
"Probably not."
"Anyway, what's so special about Near? He's dressed as he always is."
"Look at his ankles." Linda looked, and sure enough, she could see that he was wearing bells around them, as well as around his wrists.
"A morris dancing costume! I'd forgotten... he's English, isn't he."
"Uh huh. Hold this." Linda took the proffered bit of wire, and promptly stabbed herself in the thumb.
"Ah! Oh, morning, Matt." Jeungying looked up and bit her lip as a grin spread across her face.
"Fffffff! I'm sorry, I shouldn't laugh, but why are you dressed like a Native American?"
"I'm American and this was easy."
"Fair dos. Hey, Matt, do your night vision goggles still work?" Linda rolled her eyes. Her friend could be slightly scary sometimes. Matt thought for a second.
"Yeah, probably. What's for breakfast?"
"Toast. There's butter and marmalade over there." Linda pointed.
"Okay. Hey, Mello. Let's... Oh, yeah."
"I thought it was quiet. Where is Mello?" Linda asked.
"Ah. He won't come out his room."
"Not even to beat Near?"
"If you were him, nothing would get you out in public. Trust me."
"Why?" Jeungying said quizzically. Linda had been thinking. She giggled.
"Mello's... German, isn't he?"
"Yeah." Said Matt. Jeungying was still confused.
"So? She said. Linda sighed, spreading the pot of jam she'd picked up over her toast and clinking the knife slightly against the plate.
"Jeungying, what's the national dress for boys in Germany?"
"Oh. Oh right. So that's why you came out Matt! You knew you couldn't look sillier than Mello!"
"I resent that. But you're right, he does look pretty funny." The three of them relished the image.
"Hey guys!" Amando, a Spanish boy in bullfighter costume, plonked himself down next to them. "What's so funny?"
"Mello's German!" Linda said, between giggles.
"So?"
"SO... he's wearing lederhosen!"