SSSsSsSstumbling into Love
MineCraft Island had been an undiscovered paradise while my great-grandparents lived here. It was a giant community of people who loved one another and showed it by using the resources of the island to host enormous banquets that lasted days, sometimes even weeks!
I don't think anyone thought the roasted pig, numerous egg dishes, beef stew, and tables full of dessert would ever stop, but then my great-grandmother Pearl got sick. One person is not enough to stop a banquet, but soon everyone was complaining of being constantly hungry, having an unquenchable thirst, and diminishing eyesight. The island doctor did not know what to do. He had never formally gone to school, and the worst thing anyone on MineCraft Island ever caught was a head cold. Soon the community came to a standstill. Those who had not gotten sick ran from house to house attempting to help any neighbors they could.
Then, out of nowhere, it happened.
SSssSSSSSsSss…BOOM!
My great-grandmother was the first to get sick, the first to explode, and the first to accidentally kill a neighbor. Unfortunately for the island, she would not be the last.
My grandfather Peter survived the explosion of his home and mother with only a foot injury. Thinking his body would naturally take care of it and probably because the doctor now feared everyone, he chose to let it heal at its own pace. Little by little, his skin began turning a blotchy green and white color, and his foot began to resemble a withered cube. When his entire body was finally covered with green and white spots, the island finally dubbed all those who showed signs of having the disease "Creepers," as in the Pearl Creeper Disease. The whole damn town would follow my poor grandfather around calling him a creeper when everyone knew that our family name is pronounce "Crêpe-aire." It didn't help the situation that my grandparents were the first full-blown Creeper cases to attempt having a child. When my mom suddenly spawned, and I do mean quite literally that she spawned, next to their bed, it was both traumatic and surprising for my grandparents. They exploded!
Luckily for me, else I'd have never been born, my mother somehow intuitively knew that she needed to get away from there, and having magically spawned out of nowhere, she was able to hop a safe enough distance away.
Yes, that is indeed correct. I said hop. My mother had all the traits that the town hypothesized would eventually develop if the disease progressed further. Anyone who has taken any sort of basic biology class knows that this is not the usual process of how diseases work. Anyone who has been a part of the human race knows that people do not "spawn" out of nowhere, so it was definitely not an ordinary situation.
The human desire to procreate was still strong, and since everyone now knew that their offspring would spawn near where the diseased were fornicating, precautions were taken so that very few people ever had to die again after my grandparents' death. No one ever talks about that though. It's always talk of how "good" things were before Creeper disease.
Life in my generation is, not surprisingly, boring. Feasts are too exciting, so most of the community lives off of raw pork or eggs, and if anyone is lucky enough to find the right kinds of mushrooms, some mushroom stew. I tried baking a cake a few weeks ago but I started to feel too excited about it and I had to stop myself.
My family history is obviously full of firsts, so it is not surprising that I was the first one to realize something had changed. Everyone in the community by this time had fully evolved into the creepers most people know about today, so explosions were very rare. I was heading out to my garden one night (my vision just seems to work better at this time of day) when I stumbled into a hole.
MineCraft Island has serious guidelines about handling exploding creepers, and one of the most important rules is reporting holes. This rule is not only in effect because of the excitement falling in may cause, but also because if holes go unrepaired the entire island would eventually look like Swiss cheese. I've never been one to be surprised by the wild though, so I thought the incident of my stumbling more peculiar then exciting. The hole seemed to lead down further into the ground as if done on purpose, but the sun would be rising soon and I felt any time spent not in my garden was wasted time.
After spending some time in my garden of red and yellow flowers, and searching in vain for mushrooms, I decided I had nothing better to do but report the hole to the proper authorities. On my way to the maintenance office I heard at least 3 explosions.
"SSssSSoomething is wrong! SSsSsSomething is wrong!"
Walking into the maintenance office, hearing the secretary freaking out, I felt that maybe something was wrong.
"Sssorry to bother you, ma'am, but you should probably try to calm down. The last thing this office needs is a giant hole in it!"
"SssSSshush, Creepela! There have been explosions all over the area and no one ssSSseems to know what is causing them!"
"I guess I shouldn't tell you about the hole I found then…"
Creepers aren't known to be the most expressive beings, but I could tell the secretary was unhappy that I had brought yet another problem to her attention.
"When and where was this explosion?" she asked hopping over to her desk to find the proper forms.
"That'sSSs difficult to SsSay. I just fell in today." The secretary seemed displeased, but not surprised.
"Okay. Just give me the location. Unreported holes have been springing up today as well. SsSssSomebody is going to get in trouble for this if I have to find him myself."
I thought it was odd that she was not more upset, but I gave her the location and left.
I found myself at the hole again the next night. There had been five more explosions that day, and I had a feeling the hole had something to do with it.
When I stepped closer, I realized there were steps. How odd, I thought. I made my way down the steps. Is…that a workbench? In an area a few steps down someone had set up a workbench where that had crafted a pickaxe and shovel. I could feel myself getting excited. Do NOT over think this, Creepela. I am sure this is just a hole someone forgot about and I just never noticed for the 12 years I've had my garden.
Clunk-clunk-clunk
What was that? Despite my better judgment, I followed the sound.
"Day-um pick broke again!" Someone exclaimed from deeper in the hole.
"SSssSSsSssSsSSssss!"
"What is that sound? Henray, you up there? Bring me down a steel pickaxe from the workbench. My stone one ain't working to mine these weird red stone things."
Why did his words sound so different? None of this person's S-words elongated. Why wasn't I as scared as I thought I should be? Why was he telling me to be careful because there was probably a snake around? I stood there, unwilling to move, waiting for the next words to come out.
"Henray! Where are you?" I shouted.
I had broken three pickaxes in the last 2 hours, and inhaled so much of the weird red stone dust that I was beginning to think I was going crazy. I kept hearing hissing noises on the surface, but when you're mining on a strange island, it's important not to be freaked out by strange sounds.
Tired of waiting for Henry (pronounced Henray) to show up, I went out to my workbench.
"Excuse me ma'am, have you seen my friend around?"
"SSsSsSssSSss."
"Oh, pardon, my name is Notch and my friend was supposed to be working on some tools for me up here, but he seems to have disappeared. I'm getting worried because when my men wander off alone they have a bad habit of stepping on landmines of some sort and exploding. Would you like something to eat? I have some cake right now because it was my birthday yesterday, but I'm not big on sweets, taking care of my health, you know? I found some mushrooms in the dark and they make the most delicious stew. I don't mean to keep blabbering on, but I get nervous around pretty ladies. Here, just eat some cake."
"SsS…thanks."
"Hm. That hissing noise seems to have stopped now. I'm sorry. Was that you? You should maybe get that checked out. It's pretty dark out. Let me get a light going."
I went for a torch, when I returned with it, I realized I wasn't talking to just a native person.
Cake! Delicious cake!
I hadn't had cake in my entire life. It's weird. My heart rate seems calmer after I tasted the delicious frosting I had heard so many stories about. When this "Notch" returned with light, I flinched. His hair was covered in red stone dust, the fossilized remains of the first creepers often turned red.
"You probably shouldn't inhale that stuff," I said, amazed that I could manage not to SsSSsS. "That is probably the remains of someone's grandparents." After I said that, and after watching him throw up, I hopped away with the cake.
I headed to the maintenance office, to offer cake to the freaking-out secretary. "Hey! Anyone here?"
"SssSSsomebody here? SssSSsomebody? I AM ALWAYSSssSSsss here. It is a miracle this place haSssn't blown up yet!"
"I…I brought you some cake. I think it'll help."
"Cake? CAKE? How absSssSurd! There hasn't been cake around since my grandparents' time! Let me have that…" She took a piece from my plate. "Oh. Oh. This is superb. I feel…so much better. Am I talking funny?"
"If anything you're talking normally. This is amazing. I've…got to go."
"Wait! Leave the cake!"
I hopped back to the hole.
"Notch! Notch! What was in that cake? It must be magic!"
"I'm sorry, ma'am. I didn't get your name, but there's nothing in there but flour, milk and some sugar. I've seen wheat and cows around here, and while I haven't seen sugar cane, the only magical powers sugar holds are if you are diabetic and your blood sugar is low. Now my mother had a case of low blood sugar once, and dannng, she would just get so grumpy! I was so sure her head was going to pop off one time she got upset."
"Die-aye-bee-tees?"
"You know, you can get it if you don't stay active. I sometimes have to test my blood sugar. I have a doo-hickey here that tests blood-sugar levels if you wanna try it out."
"SsSso I just put my hand in it? Oh. SsssSorry. I must be getting excited."
"Whoa, lady! 50 mg/dL! You need some sugar right quick! Here! Have some more cake!"
"Mmm. Thanks!"
"Did you ever notice how your hissing thing goes away when you get your blood sugar even? Maybe you have some strange form of diabetes."
I thought about it. "How do you get diabetes exactly?" When he explained that it can be both genetic and from lifestyle choices, something clicked. "Come with me!"
When I brought Notch to town I thought everyone would be glad to see him, but no one seemed to understand what he was saying, and my friend Lucas exploded when Notch made eye contact with him.
"Maybe I shouldn't have brought you here. I'm so sorry!"
"I think I know how my men are dying now. Tell me, why aren't you afraid of me?"
"I don't know. It's like you understand me even when I'm not saying anything."
"What do you mean, Creepela? You haven't stopped talking since we met! I'll be yammering on and you'll talk right over me. I'm used to it though because I grew up with a bunch of brothers and sisters, but sometimes you get a little too personal, like when I walked in front of you and you said I had a nice body."
I gasped. "I never said that! …I may have thought it, but…are we talking right now? Oh. My. You're reading my mind! First you figure out that we have some mutant form of a disease that you say is manageable, and then I find out that you are telepathic! WHO ARE YOU?"
"I told you. I'm Notch. Maybe this has something to do with me inhaling your great ancestors…"
"That is both disgusting and plausible."
"That means that you know what I'm thinking right now then?"
"I've known you wanted to pounce me since you called me pretty," I replied.
"I'll craft us a bed then."
Epilogue:
After that night I expected something to spawn next to me, and when 9 months later something did spawn, it wasn't out of thin air. Notch had gotten some of his men to go back to their land to get some "insulin" and when they returned with the supplies, everything on MineCraft Island was so much more peaceful.
My beautiful spawn, I mean child, was born with "miner" imperfections she probably inherited from her dad, but she only had one greenish birthmark on her left leg.
MineCraft Island is reverting back to the paradise it once was. Tomorrow we're roasting a pig, then going for a run around the island, of course.