Disclaimer - I don't own the guys. I just wish I did.

This is a dark tale of Starsky's past, with some of his little quirks explained, and an exploration of just how far Hutch will trust his partner. I also apologise to any Vietnam vterans or families thereof. I've tried to keep info on the war as factual as possible, but this is just a story, and no discourtesies are intended.

The Major Incident.

Chapter 1

'And then, after that, we had a bottle of wine and danced till the club closed, then went back to her place. She's gorgeous, Hutch. How was your evening?'

Hutch smiled at his partner's enthusiasm. He'd heard it all before. The first night out, the meals, the dancing, the romancing, the sex. But it always ended the same way, with his curly haired partner finding some excuse to end the relationship. He became bored once the novelty of a new woman wore off, seeking only the thrill of the encounter without the commitment that most women wanted. No one would ever take the place of Terri.

'So you want me to hit the streets with a partner who's going to fall asleep every time we stop for a coffee? Honest Starsk, I don't know how you do it. Out four or five nights a week, and ya still have enough energy to come to work'.

The dark haired man chuckled. 'Guess you'd have to be just a bit jealous, me being such a stud an' all that!'

Hutch rolled his eyes and bit back a retort as they both walked through the door to their office at the Metro. Hutch immediately sat down at his desk and started rifling through the folders he'd left there the previous evening. Starsky headed for the coffee machine and poured two cups of the vicious black liquid. Placing one in front of the blond, he slowly sat down and sipped the brew, suddenly feeling tired and a little irritable.

The previous night he'd met Evie and taken her for a drink to the Pits before a meal at the new French restaurant that had opened in the centre of town. Sure they had had a pleasant evening. Conversation was easy and she was way too easy on the eyes. Starsky also couldn't deny that the sex afterwards had been great. Evie didn't push their relationship. She didn't ask for dates or commitment and had her own circle of friends. Starsky could almost admit to himself that she was perfect – a little too perfect. At 5'5", 110lbs, with dark brown hair and twinkling eyes, he had once again picked a woman with the same physical characteristics as Terri, and he knew it wouldn't; couldn't last. With Terri's death now seven months into the past, Starsky wondered if he would ever find someone he could love again, or if he actually wanted to. All he did know for certain was that he was heartily sick of one night stands and the hurt in their eyes when he finished it.

He became aware that Hutch was speaking, and raised his eyes from the depths of his coffee cup.

'Hey, you OK buddy? Ya want to talk about it?' Hutch's voce was soft. He'd stuck with his friend through the really rough first couple of months, through the hand holding and the sobbing and the denial. He admitted now that that had been the easy part. This new phase – Hutch called it the wild man phase – was taking its toll on both the detectives and Hutch didn't know how long he was going to be able to cope before one or both of the men broke. Their job was such that they needed to be on the ball all the time. One error; one lapse of concentration on either of their parts would mean injury or even death. They both knew it and Hutch felt that his partner was playing a bit too fast and loose with their lives.

'You thinking of Terri again? Its OK partner. It's OK to feel like that. It was always goin' to be a totally crap time. You've just got to ride it'. Hutch gave a little smile and looked steadily at the man at the other side of the desk.

A sigh. 'I don't know how long I can go on like this Hutch. Its been seven months now an' its not getting' any easier. I still just wanna curl up and die. I'm a mess. I get a girl and think wow this is the one, then I realise I only like 'em because they look like Terri. Then I finish with 'em, which makes 'em cry, then I feel like shit all over again. It's a vicious circle an' I don't know how to break it'. The explanation came out without a breath, as if Starsky had to get it out if his system before he changed his mind. He looked up with a sad smile on his face, and Hutch could see all the pain and sorrow of the last months in those indigo eyes. It haunted the blond man, and he knew that only time would heal his partner's wounds.

'I know its hard buddy, but I'm here for ya, you know that. Ya just need something big to take your mind right away from all this. A vacation. Or go back home to see your Mom. We could go together maybe?'

Starsky was just about to answer when the door behind him was flung open and the familiar brown bulk of Harold Dobey filled the doorway. 'Starsky, Hutchinson, in my office now'.