She won't say "I love you." The words are foreign on her tongue.
She prefers to tread on thin eggshells, hinting there is something there to be acknowledged, but never acknowledging it.
And when you go ahead and say something you probably weren't supposed to, she'll freeze for a second. Her eyes will go wide for a moment. Then she'll stare at you with her mismatched brown eyes and come up with a trying-too-hard-to-be-witty comeback. But you can see that cloud of panic in her eyes afterward.
She might resort to her basic defense mechanism. She'll punch you in the arm, much harder than she realizes, and much harder than she probably meant to. You'll look at her and give her the joking kicked puppy eyes, and she'll laugh her hysterical, snorty laugh she only lets out in a well-disguised mild form of panic.
She hides her emotions well, behind a steely mask. After all, she's been doing it her whole life, God knows she's had the practice. The woman who lives to protect others, not herself. She never wants help, and she almost never needs it.
But when she does, she'll let that mask drop, for just a second. It's those moments when she's the most vulnerable. And the most beautiful.
You love seeing the real her, behind that brick wall that she is slowly taking down, piece by piece, for you.
So, no, she won't say "I love you."
She'll throw a playful punch at you and shake her head, rolling her eyes and chuckling. "You're an idiot," she'll say.
If she tells you you're an idiot, you're a lucky man.
Thanks for reading! Reviews are very much appreciated. Happy Holidays to everyone!