A/N: I have permission from Miss Meehan to repost this story.

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I understand why Nathan was moving back home with his mom, honest I do. It's just that after the Dante incident and my heart attack, we finally told each other the truth. I mean on some level we both knew we were attracted to each other. I knew it from the day I woke up in the hospital after the car accident. It was the sound of Nate's voice that had brought me back. I needed to stick around and see where we were headed.

For Nate, I think it was the Jimmy Edwards thing. It was then that I think he realized life was too short to go around hiding his feelings. We grew closer, shared everything. Through his mom's attempted suicide and our dad's arrest for the murder of his own brother, we stuck by each other.

Money had always been tight for me and my mom. For Nate, making ends meet was harder because he'd been use to having so much. I would have moved in with him but mom was pregnant with Keith's baby and I wanted to be their to support her. Likewise, Deb was getting out of rehab and while I was glad Nathan was making strides to support her during her recovery, the timing just seemed off.

We hadn't consummated our relationship yet. There'd been a lot of kissing and touching but no penetration. I guess we both wanted to be sure about us. The thing was, prom night was approaching and I was sort of hoping that after prom, Nate and I could get together finally, but now that he was moving home with his mother, that seemed highly unlikely. I mean, having sex with your brother under your mother's roof just didn't seem like such a good idea.

Then Nathan got this crazy idea. While we were making his mom's place booze free, he decided to throw a party. It was sort of a goodbye to his bachelor pad days and post state championship celebration. He promised me that by evenings end, my virgin ass would be his. I wanted to say the same to him, but knowing Nate, he probably hadn't been a virgin for a long time.

I know Nate is sexually active and I know waiting for me has been hard on him. I love him for showing such restraint. I love him for thinking I'm special enough to wait for. I never questioned him about whoever else he may have been with. It's just me and him now and that's all that matters. I know he was with Peyton and possibly Haley, maybe even Brooke. As far as guys go, I strongly suspect he and Tim had something going and I'm almost sure he and Chris did too. It doesn't matter. He's mine now. That's what counts.

I guess what's really bothering me is this sense of doom that is directly related to Nate and parties. You see Nate and parties are always a disastrous combination. The first time I'd come to one of his parties, Nate and I weren't on good terms. He'd played an embarrassing videotape of my mom gushing about Dan and their plans for a future together. I actually left the party crying. Then there was the boys night out party at his new bachelor pad after we had become friends. Tim had gotten arrested for mistaking the male cops that showed up for strippers. Then there was the time I had tried to throw him a surprise birthday party that ended up in his getting arrested. Everything in me wants to tell him no more parties. Instead, I call up Skills and Brooke. Between them, the whole school ends up getting invited.

Mouth brings his DJ equipment and by ten that evening, the party is heating up. I slip upstairs just to get away from the noise and the crowd for a bit. Nate and I are blowing this town next September. I just hope Deb doesn't throw a monkey wrench into our plans.

I didn't even notice when Nathan slipped into the room, closing the door behind me. By the time I do, I can tell Nate is thinking about not waiting until after the party. The way he says my name in that low husky way, I know my best bet is to make sure the door is locked.

He's all over me, pulling me towards the bed, kissing me urgently. It feels like he has an extra pair of hands and both sets feel wonderful. We turn and he pushes me down on the bed, landing on top of me. Long kisses are followed by short breaks for air and then we're at it again. His hand is shoved down the front of my jeans. I don't even remember how he got my belt buckle opened so quickly. Like I said before, Nate has had lots of practice doing this.

I hear my sneakers hit the carpeted floor and his follow. My jeans are mid hip now and somehow I've managed to get him shirtless. He's pressing hard against me, my dick is in his hand. He's stroking it slow and easy and that's when I hear a round of cheers go up. It's unnerving and I quickly look around to make sure there are no cameras in the room or something. Hey, this is Nathan we're talking about. You never know.

A second round of cheers and a few moans of disgust are mixed in. I hear Brooke's voice above all others yelling, "Oh my god, is that Nathan with another guy?"

Nathan freezes, then and his eyes go wide. "Fuck, the Raven's tape."

"It looks like Lucas?" A male voice cries out in surprise and disgust.

"You taped us?" I ask, trying to recall all the times we made out in his apartment and if he had his webcam going or something. That was how Brooke and Peyton were outed. Peyton and her damn web cam that she never seemed to remember to turn off.

"That first time at my place," Nathan says breathlessly, bending over to put on his shoes.

I'm up in a flash. I scramble for pants, and my tee and I'm out the door and flying down the steps.

"Turn it off," I yell, running down the steps shoeless, "turn it off."

I push through the crowd and see Nate's bare butt rising and falling and obviously male legs wrapped around him. I recognize Nate's bedroom of his former apartment. I can't seem to get through the few bodies standing by the controls. That's when the other male speaks.

"I don't know if we should do this." I stumble back. God, how many times I stopped him before we went too far. God, how ugly my voice sounds on tape."

Video Nate pulls back and that's when the whole room groans. Nate is beside me now. We both look on in horror as the face beneath him is revealed. Nate and parties are never a good mixture.

So much is going through my head right now as the few stragglers and supporters hang back to help clean up. I guess the first thing is how different things will be for Nate when he gets back to school on Monday. The second is how sorry I feel for him and how hurt I feel for myself. The third thing I think, and I do feel guilty for thinking it is this; thank god it was Mouth on that video and not me.