Summary: A group of children have been unleashed on the Uchiha compound and it's up to Madara and Hashirama(Enemies they may be) to capture them before they bring the house down (Literally).Note to self Do not leave Tobirama alone with children ever again.(Is not a Yaoi! but it is totally pointless..Or is it?..Yeah it totally is :B)
WARNINGS: Foul language, OOC-ness, There's a plot but there's not one. This is not as funny as the summary leads you to believe.
PAIRINGS: There's not one..
INSPIRATION: Watching too much Kung Fu Panda *-* -shiver- Paaaaaaannnnnnndaaaaaa!
I do not own NARUTO, am I Masashi Kishimoto? NO! so UGH!
Author:Author:Author:Author:Author
Nyu, I have to study for a week long testing thing, it's this week so today is my last day to review everything , plus I've been having a few lower back problems (Too young for that shit). This was pre-written, and here it is...ENJOY! -dissapears in a puff of glitter-
Flames will be used to heat up my secret bag of moldy old vegetables which I will then mail to you.
Start:Start:Start:Start:Start:Start:Start
Madara's eye twitched furiously when hoards of small children -ranging from 2 to 10 years old- ran, or in some cases toddled, through the hall he was currently walking through, narrowly missing his legs as they zoomed by.
Stupid Senju! This was all of their doing ,and there for, it was their fault!
It was their fault that a rabid pack of seventeen children of various ages, heights, and annoyance levels where disrupting his rest.
It was Hashirama's fault for not keeping an eye on his untrustworthy little brother's mission assignments. It was Tobirama's fault for taking on too many missions at once saying 'he was responsible and could handle it' only to resort back to his old ways as soon as the children arrived.
And he was sure it was partially his fault too, for not paying attention to what Izuna had said a couple days before hand. How was he supposed to know that a bunch of brats where going to over run his home?
He sighed as he entered the entrance into the livingroom were two little boys sat playing cards.
Madara's eye continued to spasm and he turned to leave when a tiny voice called out to him."Hey mister!," The leader bordly turned his head, "You're a shinobi right?~!,"
Madara grunted in reply.
"Could you tell us about it?~!," The younger of the two children -about five- asked, his bright green eyes sparkling in awe.
That was a look Madara had seen many times in the eyes of enemies and clansmen alike, it was what fed his ever growing ego.
"I have work to do," Madara said looking the two of them over.
The older boy -about 9- dropped his head "That's alright, we just want to know what it's like to be such a powerful ninja, you don't have to stick around for us..." he sniffled tears pricking up in the corners of his powder blue eyes, "If you don't want to!," he sobbed burying his face into his hands.
"..Ugh.." The Uchiha rubbed the back of his neck, great, now there was no way he could get some sleep, it echoed in his house , "Well...I guess, I can..Maybe, Tell you a couple of...Stories or something.." he spaced out.
He wasn't much of a story teller (Wow he does a full 360 then doesn't he?) but if it'd get at least these two kids to settle down and leave him alone until it was time for them to leave, than he'd do it and he'd do it with a ''smile''...Maybe.
"REALLY?~! Cool!," The two brown headed boys cheered.
"Yes I'll tell you a story or two if you agree that you'll be quiet," Madara said with a stern face.
"Tell ya what," The blue eyed boy placed his hands on the table, "We'll be quiet, but in return we get three twenty minute stories," he said with a smug grin.
This kid was obviously a pro at bargaining, "Fine..Three twenty minutes stories. If you stay quiet."
"Deal," The two children said agreed together.
"Alright then..Give me a second," Madara peeked his head out of the open rice paper door.
Left, Right, No one coming from either direction. he sighed, spun around on his heel and plopped down at the opposite end of the table than the two boys, who grinned and ran over too him, both of them taking a place on his lap.
'This is going to be a long day,'
(-insert rainbow- Imagination~! :D-sparkles-)
-43 minutes later(I love bein' specific)-
The spiky haired Uchiha pulled the light blue blanket up to the two, now sleeping boys, chins. They had fallen asleep halfway through the second ,action packed, war story. Much to Madara's relief now he wouldn't have to deal with these two.
He flinched slightly, he didn't have these two to worry about anymore but he still had fifteen children running around the house that he'd have to round up before sunset when their parents would come to pick them up.
A sudden knock at the front door pulled him out of his thoughts, he rose and went to the door, feeling for chakra.
"Ow that hurt stop kicking already!," he heard a familiar voice say.
'Senju,' he thought ripping the door open to reveal a very bemused looking man holding up a small ,struggling, blond headed -seven year old- girl by the collar of her pink dress.
Correction fourteen children running around.
Madara's eye twitched -again- as he ripped the girl from his rivals grip and set her down on the floor -none too gently (might I add)-.
"I take it she's yours then?," Hashirama asked rubbing the place in his chest where the girls small sandal clad foot had hit him.
"I'm sure your brother would know the answer to that question," Madara shoo 'd the girl away to the room where the boys slept.
"What do you mean?," Obvious confusion.
"These are the children that your brother was assigned to care care of!," The Uchiha glared hatefully at the smooth haired man.
"...You're kidding Please tell me you're kidding," Hashirama ran a hand over his face when Madara shook his head.
He knew it would be a bad idea to leave Tobirama alone with children, it was like leaving the them alone with a bunch of sharp objects (That was dark o.O)
"Do uh you mind me asking how many he's..sent over here?,"
"Seventeen. Two are asleep in the next room over and you met one of the others. So only fourteen are still wreaking havoc on my compound," Madara crossed his arms limply.
Hashirama smiled nervously,"..Um, then I Apologize for this incon-," Madara cut him off.
"Spare your breath..Since this is your fault you're going to assist me in bringing them to the main room so when their keepers arrive they can pick theirs out,"
"Did you just compare puppies with children?,"
"Is there something wrong with that Senju?,"
The Uchiha's may have been strange people, but their leader was psychotic. That was the lesson Hashirama had learned today.
"No..I was just wondering,"
"Hn. They are this way take off your shoes before entering," Madara snorted walking back to the room where the children were.
The Senju stood shell shocked for a moment. Did his eternal rival just invite him in? or did he get hit on the head by a mountain of porn mags again? (Tobirama paid dearly for that)
He subtly pinched the skin of his wrist behind his back,"ouch!," Nope he was awake. hesitantly he slipped his shoes off and followed.
"Is Izuna here?," he asked, noticing the carefully placed blanket covering the two children.
"Do you honestly think that if he was here I'd be awake?," Madara said sarcastically.
"Do you really want me to answer that?,"
"Shut up Senju," he looked down to the blond headed girl from earlier, she was poking the younger of two boys chubby little cheeks trying to get a reaction out of him, "What's your name?," he demanded.
Hashirama sighed at his tone, Couldn't this man learn to control his temper?
"Nena!," The girl answered not looking up from her mission.
"Last name?,"
"Don't have one," (Cause the authors too lazy to give you one)
The Senju kneeled down on one knee so he could get eye level with the girl, "I was wondering..Could you perhaps go ask your friends to come here for a moment?," he asked kindly.
"Nope!," she gave a cheery smile.
"Why not?,"
"Because we're playing Hide and Seek! and telling is against the rules! If I told you were they're hiding then that's cheating!," A game? she thought it was a game? Madara was certain that this was far from being a game, a game is fun for everyone. This was just annoying. (Much like this story)
Hashirama opened his mouth to speak again when Madara cut in, "This is not a game child. Now tell us were they are,"
"Nuh uh! I can't tell you!," Nena crossed her arms stubbornly.
The Uchiha sighed, This was going nowhere.
"Then..Maybe you can draw us a map to their locations?," she looked at the tan man out of the corner of her eye, "It is not cheating I assure you,"(1)
"Well...Okay, but I need lots of markers!," Nena bounced gleefully, "Oh! and paper,"
Hashirama looked to Madara with a smirk, "Well Uchiha you heard the lady, paper and markers. I'll stay here and keep an eye on her," he said sitting down on the floor.
"Why don't you go do it?~!," Madara stated loudly and coldly.
Hashirama smirked up at him,"Because this is your home. I don't know where anything is,"
With a grumble the spiky haired man stalked out of the room.
-One Arts and Crafts time later-
Madara tsked as he tried to read the ''map'', he turned it to the left, he turned it to the right, nothing. "THIS IS POINTLESS!," he yelled ''throwing'' it down onto the grass.
Both he and his ''evil'' rival had been circling the training field for the past ten minutes, far too long in Madara's opinion.
"No it's not she was just being very specific in her drawing. Plus you don't throw away something a kid makes for you," Hashirama picked it up, before sweating as he gave it a once over.
Specific wasn't the word, Nena had drawn every little detail (None too clearly he might add) in proportion to real life, bubbly trees bordered the sides of a long passage way full of red crosses and the occasional unidentifiable item. Instead of a real map it was more like, well a child's drawing.
"What is that some kind of Senju law or something?," Madara snorted.
"No it's called being nice," Hashirama narrowed his eyes at what looked like a large rock on the paper, he looked around, there weren't any rocks around not even any regular stones, "Do you happen to have any boulders lying around?,"
The Uchiha's blank stare made the Senju sigh and hold up the drawing,"It's on the map,"
"We do..." Madara paused.
"Something wrong?,"
He looked towards the surrounding foliage, his eyes drooped, "I think I've found one,"
The bushes rustled around before a small voice squeaked out quietly, "Ouch! Biwa(2) quit moving around they're going to hear us!,"
"BUT I GOTTA PEE!,"
The two rivals sweated.
"Alright Biwako,Sarutobi, come out now," Hashirama ordered sternly.
Madara blinked, Sarutobi? as in Hiruzen Sarutobi? the Senju's little lackey? they where part of the group of children? He really needed to listen to Izuna more.
The two childred crawled out of the thick layers of bushes and small trees, the black haired girl had a small nervous smile on her face, while her brown headed friend was wearing an annoyed scowl.
"I thought I told you two not to cause trouble," Hashirama scolded putting his hands on his hips.
Madara thought about mentioning that he looked like a woman when he did that but bit his tongue. He'd figure it out someday.
"We're sorry sensei(Lord Hashi)," they apologized together.
"Alright then. Go back to the compound and stay there," The Senju leader watched the two scamper off before turning to Madara, "Two more down twelve to go,"
The Uchiha rose an eyebrow, "I wonder how many more of your brothers students are out here?,"
"Knowing Tobirama, all of them,"
-3 hours (and 12 children later because that would just be unnecessary filler)-
A group of little girls and boys all whined as they where herded into the Uchiha estates main house. The five children that had been locked inside seemed impressed at their achievement. They had actually found every single one of them.
And even for two highly elite ninja it hadn't been easy. The hiding places varied from kid to kid.
One had hidden inside the shrine on the outskirts of the estate.
Three had hidden together inside a hollowed out rock that Madara didn't even notice was there.
Another kid had climbed a tree but couldn't get back down, so finding him was fairly easy-just follow the shouts and cries for help-.
Four other children had decided to hide behind the shrubs that surrounded the gate, it didn't give them much cover.
Two kids hid inside a cabinet in the house- they where the only ones to run away and put up a fight which followed them back to the house-.
The final little girl was found asleep inside Madara's closet clutching one of his shoes, mumbling about him. Hashirama had snickered and commented that she had a crush.
As the sun began to set there was a knock at the door. The parents of the children came inside and asked about what they did and why they where over at the Uchiha estate. Much to the children's surprise neither of the men told them what had happened.
"By the way what happened to your house?," Nena's father asked glancing over the scratches and holes in the walls and doors.
"A uh training accident," Hashirama laughed it off.
Madara twitched furiously in the background.
"Ah I see well then, say goodbye Nena,"
"Bye' bye'," Nena waved from her place on her fathers shoulders.
"Bye," The light headed brunette waved back, once they where out of sight he turned to the grumbling spiky haired man, "You held your temper well today,"
"Yes well I think the lack of sleep has finally gotten to me," Madara crossed his arms -for the seventh time that day-.
"Oh please just admit it you have a soft spot for kids," The Senju joked halfheartedly.
"Your mother dropped you on your ''soft spot'' when you where a baby, didn't she?,"
"You can really ruin a moment," Hashirama's expression dulled.
"And your brother unleashing those little beasts really ruined my house, Now get out before I make you pay for all of this," Madara pulled the door open and stepped out of the way to let the man past.
"Goodbye Maddie," Hashirama waved as he walked off.
"Go die in a hole Senju,"
After slamming the door shut Madara made his way to his room and he laid down on his bed, his eyes drifted shut and he was just about asleep when the front door opened and in walked Izuna.
"Brother! the elders want you to meet with them right away! They said it's important!" he yelled.
Madara's spinning sharingan eyes snapped open, 'Oh Kami-sama why?,'
In the end, Madara finally got to sleep after he snapped at the loud obnoxious elders and almost beat one half to death, Tobirama was properly punished and his teaching certificate was temporarily confiscated ,Hashirama had to take over training his brothers Gennin team while he was out, he went missing on the first day and was discovered by the cleaning team the next day in the supply closet of the Hokage's mansion tied up with jump ropes and gagged by socks ,and poor little Biwako finally got to go to the bathroom, much to her bladders relief.
End:End:End:End:End
(1). It is cheating. I think :/
(2). That is Hiruzen's canon wife, it was originally sakumo but it wouldn't have made any sense.
Alright there was kind of a point to this. It was to see if I could bring out Madara's nice-ness without making him seem (too) OOC I think I did pretty good If I do say so my'self :D.
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