AN: How long has it been? It feels like YEARS! Lol not really but you know what I mean. I have been sruggling with the ever so silent Dimitri for some time now... I dunno he was all TALK TALK TALK until I finished Shadow Kiss... then... nothing not a peep! But I forced this one out and it seemed to flow on and off on its own... so yeah. I am actually starting on a new book called Sincerely, The Drama Llama so if any of you liked Hide and Seek but are in the mood for something more fun and wacky and... teen, then check that out... its on my fictionpress account!

ALSO! I decided not to do the story where Rose is assigned to Christian... It wasn't meshing well... ya know? Even though Hunter says it was good, I just feel like it wasn't as good as it could have been so I axed that story and went right onto this one!

-Enjoy... and as always, reviews = love and make me want to write more! Sooooo REMEMBER THAT!

[Standard Disclaimers Apply]

Something was wrong with Rose. That much was obvious. Even if she had been assigned to Jesse Zecklos, she would have defended him against a Strigoi attack. I had tried explaining this to Alberta but she simply repeated Rose's last lines on the subject.

I still think it's a horrible idea, and you eventually will too.

I don't think she realized exactly how those words would come back to haunt her. Though I knew she wouldn't risk Lissa with a stunt like this, the others didn't seem to agree.

"I thought you would have trained her to be a little more mature about matters such as this. I would rather have her gone than graduating and doing this to some other Moroi just because she doesn't get her way!" Alberta was yelling.

"Look," I explained trying to get her to calm down. "I don't know what happened out there but Rose doesn't stand by and let anything just happen especially when it puts her chances of protecting Lissa at risk."

"That's the problem right there, Belikov! She is only thinking of Vasilisa. She needs to be concerned with Christian Ozera right now. Eddie Castile is the one who needs to have the princess on his mind."

"You're right, but please just give her a chance to explain herself."

"Oh she'll get a chance. At the hearing."

"No, Guardian Petrov," Rose said looking sheepish. "Nothing more to add."

I wanted to strangle her in that moment. She was lying, and there was a lot more to add... she was just sitting here and taking her licks so to speak. I knew there was no way she would choke, just like no one here believed it either.

Rose had been affected by the incident in Spokane, that was a given, but it wasn't to avoid a fight. No, she had been revving for a fight since she had started classes. There was no way she would just stand by and let something happen to her charge even if it was Christian Ozera.

"All right," Alberta said with a weary sigh. "Here's what we've decided. You're lucky you have Guardian Belikov to advocate for you, or this decision might have been different. We're giving you the benefit of the doubt. You'll go on with the field experience and continue to guard Mr. Ozera. You'll just be on a probation of sorts."

I looked at Rose, expecting her to say something about not needing my help to defend her case, but it never came. What came from her mouth next shocked me even more.

"That's okay," she said, reserved. "Thank you." What? This was as far from Rose as possible. I was starting to wonder if something more terrible had happened in Spokane. Something so bad that maybe she really wouldn't recover. Was it something that was still getting to her? Was it the reason she was standing out in the snow in the middle of the night?

"And," Alberta continued. "Because the suspicion isn't entirely removed, you'll be spending you day off this week doing community service."

The Rose I knew was back in that instant. "What?" She almost shouted as she jumped out of her chair for the second time this meeting.

I grabbed her wrist, ignoring the warm buzzing that came from the contact. "Sit down," I said in a low tone next to her ear. "Take what you can get." As much as I was relieved to see the old Rose I knew that the other people here wouldn't share my feelings.

"If that's a problem, we can make it next week too," Celeste warned. "And the next five after that."

Rose sat down. "I'm sorry. Thank you."

As the hearing broke up, Alberta told Rose to go find Christian, but I needed to talk to her.

"Could I have a moment alone with her?" I asked with, what I hoped was an irritated expression on my face. She must have bought it, because she nodded stiffly and left.

Once we were alone, I glanced at Rose. She was waiting for harsh words and a speech about disappointment. I would have given it to her, if I had thought she had purposely stood by and let Christian get "killed". But as I looked in her eyes at that moment I could see it. Something that she was keeping to herself that was eating at her. She was worried about something other than failing the field experience. I wanted to help her but I couldn't if she didn't tell me what was wrong.

"You want some hot chocolate?"

She looked a little startled. "Sure."

I set to work fixing up some hot chocolate for the both of us. I was trying to buy time to think of something to say. I understood every single one of her issues but she wouldn't share this with me. I would have been lying if I said I wasn't hurt. I would just have to wait it out. She would tell me when she was ready.

"Doubling it is the secret," I said handing her a cup, then walking through the side door that led to the patio.

"Where are we-oh." she was looking around the patio. She, like the other novices, hadn't seen the building in which we stood now. They were unaware of the patio and the small courtyard beyond. I waited a few moments for her to take it all in, then dusted off one of the long unused seats. Rose did the same and sat across from me.

I let a silence fall between us and drank my hot chocolate, while Rose blew on hers. Though I wasn't looking at her I knew she was looking at me, studying me, like she did so often. Yet somehow I was never uncomfortable when her eyes were on me. I was comforted by the action in some strange way. Her gaze felt like a warm hand resting on me, heating up the room against the chill.

"What happened out there?" I asked finally, unable to avoid the issue. I looked at her and caught her gaze. "You didn't crack under the pressure." I needed to know, to understand what had happened. I would defend her to the end but I needed to know why I was fighting for her.

"Of course it was," she lied, looking down at her cup. " Unless you believe I really did let Stan 'attack' Christian."

"No," I said, a little hurt that she was lying to me, "I don't believe that. I never did. I knew you'd be unhappy when you found out about the assignments, but I never once doubted that you'd do what you'd have to for this. I knew you wouldn't let her personal feeling get in the way of your duty." I hoped that being this honest and open with her would somehow make her be as open and honest with me.

She looked up at me then. I saw in her eyes that whatever was getting to her was killing her inside, and I felt my heart breaking. "I didn't. I was mad… Still am a little. But once I said I'd do it, I meant it. And after spending some time with him… well, I don't hate him. I actually think he's good for Lissa, and he cares about her, so I can't get upset about that. He and I just clash sometimes, that's all… but we did really well together against the Strigoi. I remembered that while I was with him today, and arguing against this assignment just seemed stupid. So I decided to do the best job I could."

She was on the verge of saying the reason why she had froze. "What happened then?" I pressed. "With Stan?"

She looked down at her cup again and I had lost her. She was keeping something big from me and it was eating me up inside. It felt like the jealousy I felt when she was with Adrian only worse. It was something I couldn't get to inside of her and it was killing me. I needed to know what was wrong. I wanted to protect her from whatever was threatening her well being. She looked up, yet she still wouldn't meet my eyes again.

"I don't know what happened out there. My intentions were good… I just… I just messed up."

"Rose. You're a terrible liar."

"No, I'm not. I've told a lot of good lies in my life. People have believed them."

I couldn't help but smile a little. "I'm sure. But it doesn't work with me. For one thing, you won't look me in the eye. As for the other… I don't know. I can just tell."

She did something I had only seen her do once before. She got up, turned her back to me and made for the door. The only other time she had done that was when she was leaving to tell Mason she couldn't be with him and I knew how that had turned out. I stood up instinctively. I didn't want her to leave.

"Look, I appreciate you being worried about me… but really, it's okay," she said, not turning around, as if it made her lies more believable. "I just messed up. I'm embarrassed about it- and sorry I put your awesome training to shame- but I'll rebound. Next time, Stan's ass is mine."

I was behind her faster than I thought myself possible. I placed a hand on her shoulder, not trusting myself with anymore contact than that. "Rose," I said, hoping my voice didn't give away my desperation. "I don't know why you're lying, but I know you wouldn't do it without a good reason. And if there's something wrong- something you're afraid to tell the others-"

She spun around so suddenly that my hand ended up on her other shoulder. "I'm not afraid," she cried. "I do have my reasons, and believe me what happened with Stan was nothing. Really. All of this is just something stupid that got blown out of proportion. Don't feel sorry for me or feel like you have to do anything. What happened sucks, but I'll just roll with it and take the black mark. I'll take care of everything. I'll take care of me." It was like she was begging me to stop caring about her. I wouldn't have been able if I wanted to. She stood there silently pleading with me and I felt sick.

Something was so wrong, so bad that she wouldn't tell my or anyone else. My fingers tightened briefly on her shoulder before relaxing them a bit. "You don't have to do this alone," I said, trying to reason with her.

She looked at me with a smile that held no humor. "You say that… but tell me the truth. Do you go running to others when you have problems?

Damn. "That's not the same-"

"Answer the question, comrade."

"Don't call me that." I had the urge to shake her. To get her to understand that she did need help with this if it was ruining her chances at becoming a guardian.

"And don't avoid the question either."

"No," I said, stiffly. "I try to deal with my problems on my own."

She ducked out from under my hand. "See?"

"But you have a lot of people in you life that you can trust, people who care about you. That changes things."

She looked at me with surprise. "You don't have people who care about you?"

I was referring to people I could trust, I thought. "Well, I've always had good people in my life… and there have been people who cared about me. But that doesn't necessarily mean I could trust them or tell them everything."

She looked at me for a long time as if she was seeing me for the first time. "Do you trust me?"

Why lie? "Yes."

"Then trust me now, and don't worry about me just this once." She stepped away from me and I didn't reach for her again. And then she was gone and I felt more frustrated than I had in a long time.

I knew I should trust that she could handle herself, but something in her eyes told me that she didn't know what she was up against.

And I didn't trust that.

AN: BTW, my Beta is still not around so sorry for errors!