Anthology of DIP is a collection of short stories I posted on my dA account Xilex90 with pictures that illustrate part of the scene. I decided to post them on my Fanfic account in hopes they might become popular here too.
I hope you guys enjoy them.
I would Like to add that after these initial ones, I will accept prompts, and write a DIP based on that.^^ so go nuts.
-MMFG
Chapter 1
1. What REALLY Happened...Part One.
"They use to make fun of the fat kid a lot too...But now I think they like him because he picks on me" Pip said, casually as Damien inquired about Pips, shall we say, unpopularity with the other Children.
Damien's eyes lit up as if a lightbulb had gone off in his head. He turned to the brit, his red eyes glinting with evil, "Pip, how'd you like to get back at those assholes?"
Pip tilted his head, "Get back at them, Damien?"
"Yeah, make them pay for treating us like crap."
"That sounds nice, but how would we do that?"
Damien "hmm'd"
That was a good question...
Pip scratched his chin. He gasped as a lightbulb ofhis own lightbulb went off.
"I've got it! You like to set things on fire, right?"
"Yes."
"How about we go to the party and you act like you want them to be your freinds by setting me on fire or blowing me up or something to that effect..." He paused, looking at Damien to see if he followed. Damien nodded f"Yes..."
"After that, they'll think you're cool and let you into the party. Then, When Eric is busy with his presents, you could sabotage all his birthday treats somehow so everyone will get sick and never want to go to his parties ever again!"
Damien blinked.
Pip looked away, "Of course...we don't HAVE to do it, if you don't want to..."
Damien gave a pleased smirk, " Are you kidding? It's brilliant, Pip! I didn't know you could even think up something that evil..."
Pip adjusted his cap and kicked his legs in a carefree manner, looking proud of himself at Damien's praise. "Well, I'm not as innocent as people think... I may be an optimistic and a gentleman, but I'm still human and once in a while I like to play a little dirty... Say, have I told you about back home in England when I fought Mrs. Havisham?"
"No" Damien said.
"Oh, well, I'll tell you later." Pip said, standing, "Now let's go ruin Eric's party!"
Damien smiled wickedly, "Yes...lets..."
2. What REALLY Happened...Part Two
Pip sat on the sidewalk, waiting quietly as Damien strode down the street, coming back from his dad's fight with Jesus
"So Damien, how'd it go?"
"Just as planned." Damien said in a bored manner, "Dad took a dive, and everyone in this lame town just lost a crap-load of money."
"I feel a bit bad for the towns-people, but well done on your father's success Damien!" He said as Damien took a seat beside him. He sighed, "I wish our plan had gone that well..."
Damien frowned, "I know. It's all the stupid Kyle guy's fault for pissing him off," Damien grumbled.
Pip patted his back, giving an encouraging smile "It's okay, though. Not all evil plans work out the way you want them too...but everyone still had a bad time and that's what counts, isn't it ?"
"I guess..."
Pip nodded, "Oh! Damien, that reminds me..."
"Yeah?"
"How come when you blew me up eariler it didn't hurt? It actualy felt pretty good. Like that tingly feeling you get on a roller coaster."
Damien rolled his eyes, "You think I'd blow up the one person in this town I actualy likewithout some protection?"
Pip's mouth quirked up a little, "You...you like me?"
"Of course I like you, why else would I hang out with you?" Damien asked, rolling his eyes. "You're the only one here that doesn't hate me just because I'm the anti-christ."
Pip's mouth curled up in a smile, "So, does that make us...freinds Damien?"
Damien scoffed at the notion "I am the son of Satan, I don't have no need for freinds" he asserted, " But I could always use a consort."
"What's a consort?"
"In the simplest of terms it's like a partnership...only I would be in charge and you would have to do as I say."
"That works for me" Pip said smiling.
Damien slowly returned the smile, not having expected Pip to accept his offer.
They both sat there for a few moments, staring into space. "Let's go watch fat boy eat himself stupid on all that poisoned food" Damien said standing and brushing himself off.
Pip also stood hurrying to catch up with him as Damien started walking.
"Righto, Damien!"
3. Snicker
Pip glanced up at his black-clad master as Mr. Garison blathered away on the metric system, something Pip knew already, being British, and was only half-listening to as a result. It was clear that Damien was bored. And when he was bored he got annoyed, and when he was annoyed, he got angry. And when he got angry, he set things on fire and got in trouble.
Pip decided to interviene before it got to that point. He leaned forward a bit, gently nudging Damien with the eraser of his pencil.
"Psst...Damien?"
The anti-christ turned to his consort, his expression a dead give away that he was already starting to get annoyed "What is it?"
Pip cleared his throat softly, "I wanted to tell you a...dirty religious joke I heard last night, since Mr. Garison's lecture isn't that interesting today."
Damien decided anything was better than listening to the teacher drone. And the idea that Pip knew a dirty RELIGIOUS joke peaked his interest. He nodded, "Go on."
Pip cleared his throat "Alright then..." he inhaled deeply.
"Three couples want to join a church: the long married George and Annie Benson, the newlywed James and Ashly Sanchez, and the yet-unwed Charlie Marks and Dana Humphries. They all talk to the pastor of the church to see what must be done to join.
He says, "You must go without sex for three weeks." Each couple agrees..."
Here he paused as Cartman looked over at them, "What are you fags whispering about?"
Damien glared. "None of your business fat-ass." He turned to Pip, "Ignore him, tell me the rest of the joke."
Pip nodded and continued
"well, three weeks later, all the couples return. The pastor says to the Bensons "How did you do?"
"Oh, Father," they reply, "we did fine. We've been married for twenty years! We're used to going without sex."
"Very good," says the father. "Welcome to my church." He then asks the Sanchez's how they did.
"It was kind of hard, Father." said James "We've gone up to two weeks without it, but never three... Somehow, we managed, though." He said proudly.
"Good, welcome to my church," says the preist. He finally turns to the third couple."Well? How did you do?"
"Well," Charlie, answered, "we were doing fine up until this morning. We were at breakfast, and Dana bent over to pick up her napkin, and I just couldn't help but take her right there on the table."
"I'm sorry," says the pastor, looking disapointed. " But You are no longer allowed in my church."
"Oh, that's okay," Dana chirped, smiling brightly. "We're not allowed at that restaurant anymore, either!"
Damien turned back around in his desk quickly, clenching his hands into fists and closing his eyes as he faught the urge to burst out laughing in the middle of class. Nevertheless, letting out some VERY loud snickers...
Pip gave a pleased smile as his master tried to conceal his laughter. Damien was looking much better now...
4. Wrath
Pip and Damien walked along the playground, talking. Pip was finally telling him the story about how he'd saved his ex-girlfriend, Estella, from her evil mother, Mrs. Havisham, and her genesis device.
"...And so Pocket and the others and I burst in the door and I angrily declared 'Not so fast, you ugly ancient bitch!' "
Damien smirked, "You did not..."
"I bloody well did," he beamed, delighting in the memory of one of his proudest moments. "But then Mrs. Havisham sic'd her robot monkeys on us and-"
::SMACK!::
Pip let out a yelp of pain as a football tossed across the playground collided with his jaw, knocking him to the ground.
Damien knelt beside him, "Pip! Are you alright?"
Pip stood, brushing the snow off his clothes with his left hand as he cradled his jaw with his right, "I-I th-think so Damien..." he said, fighting back tears from the pain in his jaw. The anti-christ frowned. He reache up and pulled his hand away. A large purplish bruise was already forming on his cheek from the impact.
"You're hurt."
Catching the sound of laughter, Damien and Pip looked over at the merry-go-round a few yards away. Craig and Token were high-fiveing each other.
"Sweet throw Craig, you totally nailed the British kid!" Token said, grinning.
"Yeah, did you see the way he fell over? Classic!"
Damien grit his teeth in anger, the offending football bursting into flames at his feet.
"Infidels! How dare you harm MY consort? Feel my wrath!" He declared, pointing his finger at them and firing a fire-ball towards the asailents
They just barely managed to dodge the attack, by jumping out of the way, The fireball struk the metal, causing the entire merry-go-round to go up in flames as they ran away, screaming.
Pip just watched as his master 'punished' the duo that had injured him. Honestly, he was long use to the students here taunting and injuring him, and he'd gotten much worse than a football to the face...
But all the same...it was nice to have someone who'd stand up for him, even when it wasn't necessary...
000ooo000
Damien, satisfied that the idiots that had dared to cross him had been delt with-(they were now in the nurses office getting treated for [minor] burns)-walked backover to Pip. "That'll teach those fools to think twice before crossing ME!" he said, "How's your jaw?"
Pip forced his typical carefree smile"It still hurts, but I'm sure tomarrow it'll be right as rain!"
Damien gave Pip a look and raised his hand, pointing at him. A cold, tingling sensation came over Pip, making him "Ooh!" in surprise. After a moment it passed and Damien lowed his hand, "How about now?"
Pip touched his cheek lightly. It was a bit swollen, and still bruised, but the pain had eased to a dull throb.
"It's fine now! Just a little sore. Thank you ever so much Damien!" he said happily.
"No problem..."
Pip couldn't help but smile as Damien's usualy dark and broody expression softened into a freindly smile.
"Finish telling me that story about Mrs. Havisham." Damien half-ordered as the two made their way over to the swings, which had become empty very quickly when the other kids saw the anti-christ approaching.
Pip nodded "Right...Where was I, Damien?"
"Robot monkeys" he reminded as he climbed into one of the swings.
"Oh, yes, of course..." he said, giving his master a starting push before climbing into his own swing and kicking his feet to get going.
"Mrs. Havisham had sic'd her robot monkeys on us as she turned on her genesis device, so I told Pocket to keep Estella's other boyfreinds from crying..."
5. Rectus...Dominus...
Pip walked alongside Damien as they walked an eager look on his face. "I say Damien; it was quite nice of you to invite me over to your house for a sleep-over!"
Damien shrugged, "Well you're house sucks. Last time I came over theypoured holy water all over me and got my stuff wet."
Pip sighed, remembering the incident. "I'm dreadfully sorry about that...My step parents aren't very open minded."
"Whatever," He said turning into the empty lot surrounded by the wooden fence where the fair was held during the summer.
"Why did we stop here, Damien?" Pip asked as Damien stopped and looked around.
"I live in Hell, remember? I have to summon a portal and this place has lots of space."
Pip's eyes widened a fraction. "O-oh, I see..."
Damien looked over his shoulder at him as knelt and made some markings in the snow "You're not scaredare you Pip?"
"Oh, me? O-of course not! Heh-heh..." Pip said, laughing nervously.
Damien stood, crossing his arms as he gave his consort a look. "Pip..."
Pip shuffled his feet. "Well, maybe I am a little nervous..."
"It's perfectly safe. None of the Demons or souls will bother you. You're my consort, so you're untouchable. Besides, torture time isn't until 4:00."
" 'Torture Time'? " Pip quoted curiously.
"Yeah, there's so many people in Hell we demons just don't have time to torture them all the time, so mostly we just let them do what they want and set aside two hours a day for torture."
"What do you do with the rest of the day?"
"We throw parties and social events. BBQ's, luau's, parades, raves, balls... You should see Hitler when he's at the D.J. station."
"That doesn't sound so bad," Pip said cheering up.
"It's not." Damien said standing in the circle. "Okay, I've never opened a portal for more than one person, so you'll have to help."
"What do I do?" Pip asked as Damien closed his eyes.
"You just stand back, close your eyes and concentrate your energy on me. I'll do the rest."
Pip did as he was told, focusing all his energy on Damien as a cold wind began blowing, stirring up the leaves from the tree's nearby and sending them swirling around them. An unearthly choir of voices from nowhere began singing ominously in Latin.
Damien drew upon the energy Pip was giving him, muttering a spell as he used his inhuman powers to open a portal into the fiery realm he called home. He opened his eyes, grabbing Pips hand.
"Come on, these things don't last long."
Pip, feeling a bit winded, as if he'd run some laps, kept a tight grip on his master's hand as he led him through the portal.
6. Trouble in Class
The bell rang, signaling the end of class to the antsy fourth graders. Today was the first day of spring break and everyone had plans.
Mr. Garison looked up at the bell, "Oh, is it time to go already? Well, class have a nice vacation! Don't forget to put on plenty of sunscreen if you go to the beach or you'll get skin cancer and die."
Half the class was already gone, having rushed out the door the moment that the bell rang.
Pip, ever the good student, had waited until Mr. Garison gave the okay before taking his things out of his desk. "Oh, this is going to be such a great week, Damien!" He said delightedly, "I can't wait till tomorrow!"
Damien nodded, a rare smile on his face, "Yeah, it's gonna be cool."
Stan, Kyle, Kenny, and Cartman (who were waiting on Butters, the unofficial 5th member of their group, to make sure he had everything in his desk, lest he get grounded), turned to the Brit and the Anti-Christ.
"Why? What's happening tomorrow?" Kyle asked
Pip beamed, "I've been saving up my allowance and working odd jobs all year and I've finaly saved up enough money to fly home to England for a visit. Damien's coming with me so he can meet my friends."
"You have friends?" Stan asked, looking surprised.
Pip ignored the tone and continued brightly, "Oh yes, Pocket, and my ex-girlfriend Estella."
"You had a girlfriend?" Kenny's muffled voice asked.
"Oh, yes. But we broke up I'm afraid," he said. "She was too much of a flirt...but we continued to stay friends, though. I can't wait for them to meet Damien."
Cartman walked over, smirking "So, you're takin' your boyfriend home to meet your friends, huh? I knew you guys were fags."
Damien frowned at Cartman, "Shut up, fat-ass."
"Don't call me fat, you fuckin' demon spawn piece of crap!"Cartman said, his expression going from amused to furious instantaneously.
He turned to the British boy " And as for you, Pip, you limey ass pansy, you don't have any friends! Nobody likes you cuz you're too damn nice. You're a fuckin' pussy that annoys the hell out of everybody and if you really did have 'friends' back in smelly old fish and chips land, they would've visited you by now. Face it, they probably forgot all about you the moment you left."
Pip looked down at his feet, trying not to show his distress as the words sank in, effectively ruining his good mood.
"I...I..."
Damien saw his consorts hurt expression and glared at the chubby bastard responsible. "Don't listen to him Pip, he's not worth it. He's just a lonely fat ass who's hot for Kyle and knows it'll never happen."
Cartman looked outraged for a moment before turning and stomping out the door, "I don't have to listen to this! Screw you guys, I'm going home. Butters, get your ass over here, we're leaving!"
Butters scrambled to catch up, "Oh, Hamburgers!"
Stan, Kyle, and Kenny followed behind, rolling their eyes.
Once they were alone, Damien climbed out if his desk. Pip slid out of his dejectedly.
"Damien, do you think Eric had a point...about Pocket and Estella not caring about me anymore? It HAS been almost two years since I've seen them..."
Damien wrapped an arm around Pip's shoulders as he shrugged his black back-pack on with the other, "No way. Cartman's just being a jerk. Do you think they'd forget about you?"
"Well...no..." he said, "But what about that other stuff? Do YOU think I'm an annoying pussy-boy?"
Damien scoffed, "Would I keep you around if I did?"
"That's true," Pip agreed. He beamed, "You're right. I'm worrying over nothing. Eric is just being nasty."
Damien gave one of his wicked smiles, "I'm always right." He said as he leaned forward and placed a quick kiss on the Brit's cheek, "Now let's go. We don't wanna miss our flight, do we?"
Pip blushed, shaking his head 'no' as they made their way out the door, leaning into his master's touch.
7. Lunchroom
Damien and Pip sat side by side at their table in the corner of the cafeteria, observing the other students as they ate their lunches. Damien scoffed as Stan, Kyle and the others all discussed some stupid scheme of Cartmans to try to earn 10 million dollars for the umteenth time.
"That fatass never learns, does his Pip?"
Silence.
"Pip?"
Damien glanced at the brit. He was staring off into space. a far off look in his eyes.
"PIP!"
The blonde started, glancing at his master and shaking his head to clear it, "Yes, Damien?"
Damien gave an annoyed sigh "Is something wrong?"
"No." Pip said shaking his head, "In fact today's gone surprisingly well. Hardly anyone's picked on me today, and Pocket called me last night."
Damien frowned, "Then why were you ignoring me?" he demanded. Pip poked at his food, somewhat guiltily " I'm sorry, Damien. It's nothing, really...I'm just thinking..."
Damien crossed his arms, "What could be so important that you'd stare off into space like a retarded cow?"
Pip kicking his legs absentmindedly, "I was just thinking about something my step mother said about how it was foolish for us to be freinds. It really got to me."
Damien scowled, "What did she say?" he asked, eatting a bite of his lunch.
Pip removed his beloved hat and worried it," She said I'm your freind now, but...what about in the future? What if you get tired of me and don't want me as your consort anymore? What if one day you find someone more interesting and cool that does more exciting things and decide you're bored of me?"
Damien looked at the blonde as if he'd just declared that he loved France.
"Pip, why would you even considerbelieving something like that?"
Pip twisted his hat in his hands, "Because I'm calm and soft spoken and you're...well, you're not. We're not compatible...I can't help but wonder if she's right...What if you get sick of me and decide you don't like me anymore?"
"Pip." Damien said slowly "Did it ever occur to you that you being so different than me is EXACTLY what I like about you?"
Pip looked up at him, "What do you mean?"
"Pip, I hang out with you because you're different than everyone else in this stupid ass town. You're accepting, gentle, and freindly to everyone. Even fat ass. I'm short-tempered, easily aggitated, and aggresive It's because our personalities clash that we get along so well. That's why we work. We balance each other out."
Pip thought about this as Damien took another bite of his lunch.
"So...I don't bore you?"
Damien shook his head, "No. And even if you did, It wouldn't change our connection. Demons don't work that way, Pip. When we make a commitment, we're in it for the long haul. Only humans are stupid and arrogant enough to withdraw from relationships because of something as petty as boredom.
Pip nodded "Does that mean you won't get sick of me and find some better friend to hang out with?"
"You're my consort. That's not a position I would give and take away on a whim like common friendship. It's a very important position and you'rejust as important to me as I am to you. Your step mother is a dumb ass bitch for trying to convince you otherwise."
Pip felt like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. He sighed heavily with relief. "Thank you, Damien I feel SO much better now!" he practically chirped.
The young anti-christ turned back to his lunch, as his companion returned to normal, SERIOUSLY considering having Pip's step parents murdered in some slow, painful way for trying to come between them.
8. Confrontation
Damien kicked open the door of the schoolyard. His eyes glinting with not-entirely hidden hellfire as he made his way over to Cartman and Butters.
Cartman turned to look at the approaching anti-christ with distaste.
"Well, well. If it isn't the unholy butt-hole himself."
Damien glared at him, "You thought you could get away with it, didn't you?"
"G-g-get away with what, Damien?" Butters stuttered nervously as he always did when Damien was around. Damien gave a him a withering look. "Shut up, Butters, I'm not talking to you." He turned to Cartman "I just found Pip crying in the bathroom! He said you cut off his hair and took his hat!"
Cartman smirked, "I sure did! It was funny when he started crying as I cut that girly hair of his!"
Damien was NOT amused.
He'd been just short of horrified when he'd seen all of Pip's lovely blonde hair cut off to little more than a gapy mess. Pip had been sitting in one of the stalls crying his eyes out. As usual, Cartman and the others had bullied him, and he'd been fine with it...until Cartman had pulled out a pair of scissors, pinned him down, and hacked off all his hair. Beat him up, and stolen his beloved trademark cap.
Pip had gotten that hat from his parents as a birthday present before their deaths...
Damien gallantly fought the urge to murder the overweight asshole where he stood and settled for an 'if looks could kill' face. "Give me Pip's hat back and I might let you live, dick weed."
Cartman reached into his pocket and pulled out the now heavily wrinkled cap
"You mean this stupid thing? Here take it. Oh wait..."
He held the hat over his rear and farted loudly into it before throwing it at Damien "There! Give that to fart boy!" he yellled as he and Butters walked off. Damien fired a fireball at their rears, vowing in his mind to much MUCH worse later...
For now, he'd have the hat cleaned and returned to Pip in the morning. No telling what other things the fat ass had done to it.
9. Invitation
"How do you feel, Pip?" Damien asked, placing a pink bandage on the blonde's right temple. Pip adjusted his cap, "Much better now, thanks to you, Damien."
"It was nothing... I couldn't very well go around with a gappy-haired consort covered in bruises now could I? What sort of master would I be?"
Pip glanced at his feet, a small smile on his face. Damien had returned his hat, which had been cleaned, and healed most of his wounds, excluding a small cut on his head, which was covered with the aforementioned pink bandage. He'd also used his powers to grow Pip's hair back out to it's normal length.
"So did those step-parents of yours even notice you were injured?" Damien asked
"Well, my step father asked if I'd had a haircut..." Pip said shrugging
Damien frowned, "Idiots. You should just move in with me and my father."
Pip shook his head, "I couldn't possibly-"
Damien gave him a look, "Pip, they barely pay attention to you, and when they do it's either to scold and lecture you about hanging out with me, or something stupid like singing Christmas carols or going to a meteor shower party."
"Well, in their defense the meteor shower party was pretty fun. We played Charlie's Angels and-"
"I know what you did," Damien said, "You know what I mean."
Pip sighed, "Yes... I suppose you have a point, Damien."
"Of course I do. Besides, if you lived with me, you'd get some respect. The demons would have to take whatever order you gave them. The souls too. You'd have POWER."
Pip thought about it. It was a tempting offer...
"Well..."
"Not to mention you'd be living with ME. We could play more, and I could teach you things."
"What sort of things?"
"How to summon portals, turn people into animals, set things on fire that sort of thing."
Pips eyes lit up "Really? That sounds smashing Damien!"
Damien grinned wickedly, "We could get revenge on fat-ass and his gang together...I know you want to."
Pip touched the cut on his forehead and felt the brim of his cap. Images of the incident flashing through his mind. He shuddered.
"I accept Damien! Oh, I won't have to give you my soul will I?"
"Did I ask for it?"
"No."
"Then there's your answer."
"Just checking!" Pip chirped as he followed his master back into school as the bell rang, signaling the end of recess.
"Whatever...I'll send a demon to collect your things from your house after school."
"Righto."
1-WRHprt1: Just my take on how that little scheme of Damien's played out.
2- WRHprt2 :same thing, but after the fight.
3. Snicker: Read this joke in a fic, thought it was funny, and decided to have pip tell it to damien
4. Wrath: Because you know that would sooooo Totaly happen
5. Rectus..Dominus... : Because even the son of satan needs a playmete to have sleepovers with.
6. Trouble in Class: Cartman goes from sero to pissed in half a second...and so does Damien. stupid fatass making pip upset!
7. Lunchroom: I think we've all had a conversation like this at lunch before. I know I did...only without the demons, lol xP
8. Confrontation: Cartman went just a little bit far this time...man I was in a dark mood that day
9. Invitation: conclusion to confrontation.