Xander's Twisted Future Visions
The visions of Xander and Anya's unfortunate future together, shown by a future form of Xander, were not completely new to him. To be honest, when his wedding day came closer Xander started getting more and more dreams and thoughts about his life with Anya that were negative. He often dreamed of them together as a younger version of his parents. Xander's parents had been continuously fighting for as long as he could remember, and during every argument he had with Anya he feared the apple had not fallen far from the tree. Of course, Xander did not want to end up like his parents, and neither did he want to hurt his fiancée, quite the opposite. As he stood there, in his tuxedo and his barely- fitting cummerbund, he realised he could not do this, he could not start his future like this, with doubts. That wouldn't be fair to Anya, and it wouldn't be fair to himself either. If he would marry her today, he wouldn't be honest during the vows, he would start their life together with a lie, and that simply wasn't fair to the both of them. And that, was when it suddenly became very clear to Xander. Crystal clear. He was not going to marry Anya today. Not today, not tomorrow, and not at any other day. Surely he loved her, and that was the exact reason for why he couldn't marry her. Xander just could not take the risk of making her unhappy, he loved her way too much for that. He was not yet ready to commit, not to Anya, and not to anyone else either. First he would need time. Time to figure out who he really was, and time to figure out that he was not at all like his parents. Xander loved Anya very much, with his whole heart, but he wasn't ready.