Fortune favors the brave
Santana's Gotta Secret
It's been horrible for Santana to walk the halls of Mckinley High since the conversation she had with Brittany just about two weeks ago. She was so depressed after getting shot down by Britt for "Stubbles McCripplepants" that she got drunk and dialed Kurt and told him everything. He wasn't surprised by Santana being in love with Brittany; he was just more surprised that she called him. He didn't even know she had his number. Kurt knew Santana was drunk off her ass when she called and half expected her to not remember they talked all night on Friday, but to his surprise, she called him the next day and asked if she could come over. Kurt was pretty sure things from today on were going to be hard for her, so he told her yeah and she drove over.
"I can't believe I drunk-dialed Kurt," Santana said to herself while on the way to his house. "Of all people, I would choose the one gay kid I know. I guess it's fitting since I know he won't judge me for liking someone of the same sex, but damn, I don't even like Kurt like that. Well, that's a lie; it's not that I don't like him. I'm just a little jealous, I guess. He's just so sure of himself and proud to be who he is. I wish it could be that easy for me." She blinks back tears at the thought of not being able to be herself and it costing her Brittany, the love of her life. She fell asleep last night after crying to Kurt for hours and woke up in tears from a dream she had about Brittany. She was honestly quite tired of her eyes being all red and puffy, so she blasted her radio to drown out her thoughts. Oddly enough, it worked. she stopped torturing herself with the thoughts of "what if" she had sang that duet with Brittany and if she just told her she loved her after their first kiss. Everything was going smoothly until THAT song came bombing through her speakers:
You've been on my mind I grow fonder every day, lose myself in time
just thinking of your face God only knows why it's taking me so long to let my doubts go
You're the only one that I want
I don't know why I'm scared, I've been here before Every feeling, every word,
I've imagined it all, You never know if you never try to forget your past And simply be mine
I dare you to let me be your, your one and only
Promise I'm worth it to hold in your arms
So come on and give me the chance To prove that I'm the one
who can Walk that mile Until the end starts
"Damn you, Adele!" she screams at the radio in frustration. This song only reminds her more of how stupid she was to doubt her feelings. She has known for longer than she cares to admit that she loves Brittany, but she was just so scared of what everyone else would say and how they would treat her.
Have I been on your mind? You hang on every word I say, lose yourself in time
At the mention of my name, will I ever know
How it feels to hold you close And have you tell me which ever road I chose you'll go
I don't know why I'm scared, I've been here before Every feeling every word, "I've imagined it all,
The song gets to be too much for her, so she turns off the radio, but it's already too late. She's back crying her eyes out as she pulls up in front of Kurt's house. Kurt hears the car pull up and goes outside to see Santana bawling in the driver seat.
"This is going to be a looong day", he thinks to himself before walking over to the car to get the sad Latina.
Kurt taps on the window and scares the hell out of Santana, causing her to jump and hit her head on the roof of the car.
"Hey San, I didn't mean to startle you," he says to her as she gets out the car rubbing her head. "I just saw your car out here and thought since you didn't come in that something might be wrong."
"Yeah, well, I didn't want to come in your house in such a mess. I planned on at least containing myself long enough to get to your room. To be honest, I don't want Finn to see me look like this. I don't want him talking to Rachel 'Bigmouth' Berry and have her bugging me at school on Monday."
"You don't have to worry about that. He and my dad went out to work on this old car my dad just bought. He thought it would be a cool way to get closer to Finn and get a nice car out of it at the same time. It's just going to be you and me in the house for a while," he said flashing her a smile to reassure her that everything was going to be okay.
"Okay," she replied, still a little uneasy because of all the crying she has been doing just two minutes before.
Kurt walks her in the house and brings her to his room.
"Do you want anything to drink?'
"Wow, you're really gay!"
"What?"
"Oh I'm sorry, Kurt! I just meant that your room is really extravagant. I like it. I just never thought a boy's room would look like this," she says after taking a seat in one of the egg-shaped chairs sitting in the corner of the room.
"Well, most boys don't have my keen eye for fashion, so I guess I understand."
"It is really nice, though. It's kind of bright for my taste, but it fits you."
"Thanks. I try to have my room looking as spiffy as I do, so I change it around every few months, but we aren't here to talk about my Egyptian cotton drapes are we?"
"No, we're not. I guess I was just trying to hold off on that for a little while. To be real, I don't know why I came to you about this. It's not like we have ever really been that close."
"Do you not want to talk to me, Santana?"
"No, I do...I just…I'm just still confused about a lot of things and I don't know what to do."
"Well, let's just start where we left off last night. You were telling me about how much you loved Brittany, but when you finally told her how you felt she shot you down."
Santana's face and mood dropped as the last few words left Kurt's mouth. She knew he wasn't being an ass phrasing it like that, but it still hurt nonetheless. She tried to hide the weakness in her voice when she responded, but it didn't work so well.
"Yeah. That's why we sang that song together with Miss Holiday. She had been trying to get me to talk about my feelings for the longest and the only way, at that time, that I could was through song."
She was playing with her hands again like she always does when she's nervous. Kurt could tell the change in her demeanor from when they first started their conversation about his room. He didn't want her to start crying again, so he thought about how he'd choice his words during this conversation.
"It was a beautiful song, Santana. You and Brittany sounded great."
"Thanks, but for a song that I was supposed to sing for Brittany, I didn't do much singing." They laughed. They both understood that San and Brittany mostly sang the chorus to each other.
"Yeah, but it was good nonetheless. Plus the emotions were there, so it was good. I know Brittany loved it."
Santana's eyes quickly started to glaze over with a film of tears about to erupt from her eyes and Kurt realized those were not the words he should have used.
"San, please don't cry. I know it must be hard for you to deal with all of these emotions, but it will get better, hun. Trust me."
"Really? How? Because I don't see it. The only person that I want to be with chose to be with 'Hot Wheels' over me."
The thought of Brittany and Artie being together made Santana cry even harder than she already was, and she could barely breathe through her already tight chest. Kurt tried to calm her down and gave her a bottle of water from out of the mini-fridge hiding in his closet.
"If you really love her that much, Santana, you only have two things you can do. Be happy for her because she's happy and find somebody else to love, or change her mind."
"I already tried that. I told her I loved her and that I just wanted to be with her and she still picked Artie. Have you not been listening to me over here? I mean I know my voice is kind of raspy, but I'm not speaking Spanish."
"Well, no, you aren't, although last night you kept going in and out of Spanish and English and it confused me for a while, but that's not the point. San, if you really want Brittany to be your girlfriend, you have to do more than just one song and expect everything to be okay. I'm not saying you need to break the two of them up, but if you want Brittany to believe that you're ready to have her completely, you need to show her, not just tell her."
"Yeah, you're right. And I wouldn't purposely break them up, well, again anyway. I don't want to hurt Brittany and I don't think she would forgive me if she found out. But how can I show her that I want to be with her?"
"I think you know what you have to do, Santana. You have to come out and admit that you love her and that you're willing to love her openly—none of that on the low stuff that y'all do now. And by the way, it's not really on the low if everyone sees y'all touching each other every five minutes."
"Kurt, you know I can't do that. It will kill my rep, not to mention I might get bullied and the things my parents might do."
"I'm not saying come out to everyone at school, but at least the glee club. That is the one place where no one will judge you. We all look out for each other. Even if we aren't that close, glee club is our safe place. If you can't give Brittany everything, at least show her that you're trying. Coming out to everyone in glee club would sure make her believe you. Not to mention you would have at least one hour out of the school day where you can be yourself and have people who got ya back."
"I don't know Kurt. I'm still a little sketchy about that."
"You don't have to do it right away; just think about it"
"Okay. I will."
"Alright, well enough with all of this serious talk—let me give you a makeover. Darling, you are looking kind of rough, and you're too cute for that"
They both laugh, and Kurt sits Santana down in front of his vanity and starts going to work on her new look.
What's done in the dark
Unknown to anyone else on the other side of town while Santana were forming a new relationship Artie was rekindling an old one. For about three weeks now Artie has been flirting with Tina behind Brittany's back. Tina and Mike have been having some issues lately so that's when Artie thought it was the best time to jump in. It didn't seem like much, and to be honest, you had to pay real close attention to even see the subtle signs that Artie and Tina were sending each other.
Everybody knew that Tina and Artie had history together because they would both come into glee together talking about upcoming projects and homework. So it wasn't seen as a big deal when they would study together for tests or help each other out in the library when they had papers due. But the one thing that shouldn't have gone unnoticed is the frequent bathroom trips.
Artie and Tina were leaving glee more and more to go to the bathroom or get something out of their locker. It sort of became routine to the point where no one questioned it. The only person that would have known is Santana because she knows how to cheat all too well, but because she has been so depressed for the past few weeks it didn't catch her eye.
(Last Friday)
Tina went to her locker right before glee club to find someone had slipped a note in her locker.
"Meet me in the science room
before glee starts today
I've got a surprise for you."
Tina was excited to see who had slipped the note in her locker, and rushed to the science room after class was over. When she entered the room she found Artie with a box of chocolates and a tiger lily.
"Hey sweet thang," Artie said as he handed Tina the chocolates and flower.
"Awww Artie, thank you," Tina replied stunned at the random show of affection. "You remembered that I love tiger lilies."
"Yeah of course I do! Why wouldn't I remember my babe's favorite flower?"
"I don't know. I guess I just wasn't expecting it because Mike doesn't do things like this."
"Well, that's why I'm here, and wait—there's more. Tonight I rented your favorite movie. I'm going to have the house to myself so I thought you could come over. I got dinner planned and some alcohol."
Too much to handle
Santana was dreading Monday morning. She actually had a pretty good weekend after her talk with Kurt. He did her hair and makeup, and talked about everything under the sun. They got closer than either of them thought possible in only a few days, but it was fun for the both of them. Santana actually spent the rest of the weekend at Kurt's house after some pleading on his part. Burt wasn't too excited about letting Santana stay the night because of the past relationship her and Finn had. Kurt was surprised Finn even told his father about that, but somehow sex came up during one of their many bonding moments and he told him about how he lost his virginity.
Kurt wasn't about to tell his father that Santana was gay for fear that he would slip up and say something about it around Finn, but he assured his father that Santana was in no way interested in him anymore. Santana didn't want to give people the wrong impression showing up to school with Kurt and Finn so she decided that it would be best if she left Sunday. She was sure that no one would believe her when she said she was at Finn's house for Kurt because everyone knows they aren't that close. At least they weren't, but to avoid making up some lie she reluctantly went home.
Santana didn't want to stay alone in her bed; there were just too many memories. Brittany's scent still remained on her pillow. Santana knew it was torture whenever she woke up on leaned over and smelled her blonde only to realize she wasn't lying next to her, but she couldn't bring herself to wash it away because even though she was hurt it still brought her comfort. That night in particular she didn't get much sleep. She kept tossing and turning because her mind was racing, wondering about how and when she was going to tell the glee club about her situation. But the most important thing that plagued her mind was how she would get her sweetheart back.
Santana made it to school only five minutes before she had to go to class so there wouldn't be too much time for anyone to bother her. She assumed Britt would have already started pushing Astro-Boy to class so she wouldn't bump into her. Just as she walked through the double doors that lead into the main hallway her eyes met with Kurt and this immediately cheered her up.
"Hey San," Kurt said with a joyful smile. He saw how the Latina lit up when she spotted him and it made him quite happy that he had that effect on her.
"Sup Kurt," Santana replied trying not to sound so excited to see him. She thought he was amazing for helping her out when she was upset, but she was still Santana fucking Lopez. She couldn't come off as a softy, especially in school.
"How did you sleep last night?" the boy asked concerned. The diva who normally no matter what, always looked her best when at school looked a bit tired and that was unusual to see.
"Ok. Well, to be honest, I didn't get much sleep kept tossing and turning. I'd usually just call Brittany when I can't sleep and she'd tell me a story, but you know why I couldn't do that," she answered with a pained smile. The thought of Brittany always made her happy but she remembered why she felt so terrible and now the memories she shared with Brittany were like bittersweet candy in her mouth.
"It'll be okay, hun," he said, trying to comfort her by putting his arm around her shoulder. "If you want to stay at my house, you can. Finn and I will just get a ride from my dad so no one says anything."
"Thanks, but I'm going to have to get use to not having her in my bed, so I might as well start now. But I have to go to English now. I'll see you at lunch"
"Okay. Just think about what I said the other day. I promise you it will be better than hiding it every day. And I need to add a lesbian friend into my group anyway."
He whispered the last part in her ear so no one would hear and they both laughed as they parted ways. She got her books out of her locker and was on her way to class with no sign of Brittany. She was glad but at the same time she did miss seeing her brilliant smile in the morning. As she was about to walk into her classroom, a familiar voice called out to her.
"San?" It was Brittany.
"San, can we talk?" she said, her voice wearying.
"The bell's about to ring, and I don't want to be late," the brunette lied. She never had a problem being late to class any other time when she and Brittany wanted to make out in the janitors' closet or when they had those special showers in the morning when she spent the night.
"I know, but it's important…please San," the taller girl begged and put on her best puppy dog eyes that she knew Santana couldn't say no to.
If it was one thing that could make Santana agree to anything, it was Brittany's crystal clear blue eyes staring at her, so she caved and told the blonde okay. They walked away from the classroom so no one could hear what they were about to talk about. The hallway was just about clear now because the bell was going to ring any minute.
"What is it, Britt?"
"I miss you, San. We haven't talked since that day you sang that song to me in glee club, and I miss my best friend. I've tried calling you and texting you but you never say anything back. Are you still mad at me?"
"I'm not mad at you, Brittany. I could never be mad at you. I just..I can't be around you right now."
"Do you not want to be friends anymore?"
The shorter girl sighed knowing that she'd love to be friends with Brittany again more than anything, but that just wasn't enough anymore.
"I can't Britt..I just can't."
"But San, I miss you. Don't you miss me?"
"I know and I do, too. Look, just know that I'm trying, but this is too much. I have to go."
Before the blonde can say anything else, the bell rings and the Latina is already walking into her first period class. The rest of the day seems to go extra slow for Santana. All she can do is replay the conversation she had with Brittany this morning before class. She sees all the sadness that was in Britt's eyes when she said she could deal with being her friend, and it hurt her soul to see Brittany that way. She never wanted to do anything but make her happy.
She was snapped back out of her daydream when the bell rang for lunch. She knew that she and Brittany had the same lunch and she didn't feel like having to talk to her again, so instead of going to the café, she went to the choir room. She texted Kurt and told him what happened and why she wasn't going to be at lunch. She wasn't really hungry anyway, so it didn't bother her to not eat. She walked into the empty room and sat next to the piano. She played a few chords and started to sing along to the song that were playing on her iPod.
Have you ever loved somebody so much
It makes you cry
Have you ever needed something so bad
You can't sleep at night
Have you ever tried to find the words
But they don't come out right
Have you ever, have you ever Have you ever been in love
Been in love so bad
You'd do anything to make them understand
Have you ever had someone steal your heart away
You'd give anything to make them feel the same
Have you ever searched for words to get you in their heart
But you don't know what to say
And you don't know where to start
"I didn't know you played," a voice said standing in the doorway.
It caught Santana of guard and she jump from off the stool she was sitting on.
"Oh! Hey, Mr. Shue," she said happy it was anyone else who found her singing that song. They would have questioned her until know end.
"Why'd you pick that song?"
Apparently so was Mr. Shue, but at least she knew he wouldn't tell anyone if she told him the truth. She wanted to tell him everything. She needed someone else to talk to about Brittany, but she wasn't about to breakdown that fast.
"I don't know. It's just a cool song, I guess. No big deal."
"You sure? Singing a song like that with the kind of emotion you put into it makes me think otherwise. You know you can talk to me if you need to, Santana."
"Yeah. I know, Mr. Shue"
"I know something has been bothering you for a while, Santana. You've been moping around school, you haven't been arguing with Rachel like normal and you're actually paying attention in Spanish class." They both laughed at the last part, but he got a serious face again because he knew something was truly bothering her.
"I like that your class work is better, but I would like to help you. I think I know some of what's going on."
"You do?" The brunette looked nervous wondering if it was that obvious the way she felt about Brittany that even Mr. Shue could see it.
"Yeah. You and Brittany haven't been talking lately. Ever since you sang that song with Miss Holiday, you guys haven't been as close. Do you want to talk about it?"
She knew Mr. Shue wasn't that dense to not understand what the song meant and why she sang it to Brittany. All of the emotions she felt flooded back into her mind and the tears started pouring. She didn't say anything and Mr. Shue didn't press her too. He just walked over to where she was sitting and held her while she cried.
"She wanted to know how I felt and I told her," she managed to choke out between sobs. "I told her…I-I love her, just her and sh-she still chose him, like I didn't mean anything to her."
Her sobs got louder and she held on to Mr. Shue like he was the only thing that would keep her afloat so she wouldn't drown in her own tears. He was at a loss for words and not sure how to comfort the poor girl, but he needed to probe deeper to see how the problem could be fixed.
"What did she say when you told her?"
"She said she loved me and that she'd be with me if it wasn't for Artie, but she loved him too and couldn't hurt him. Like it was just easier to hurt me instead."
"Now come on, Santana it doesn't seem like she meant to hurt you. She just doesn't want to hurt anyone else in the process. Just give it time. If it's meant to be, you will be together. Trust me."
One step at a time
Santana listened to Mr. Shue and gave him a hug for being so patient with her. She knew it was taking her forever to answer him between her crying. Although his words were comforting, she still wasn't ready to tell everyone about her realization just yet so she sat in the top row like always and stayed quite during practice. After that day everything seemed to fast forward in slow motion. It felt like her time in school would take forever and glee club was even worse but somehow the days blurred together like the trees do when you're staring at them from a moving car. Two and half weeks came and went and Santana couldn't hold her emotions in any longer. She was tired of seeing Artie and Brittany everywhere she went in that damn school so today she had made up her mind about what she was going to do.
The bell rang and soon everyone was going to be rushing in for glee club to start. Santana was already there getting herself ready for what she was about to do. She made up some excuse to get her out of last class so she could go over her song and get out a good cry so she wouldn't have a total meltdown in front of everyone. Hearing the bell ring signaled Santana to regain her composure before anyone walked in on her. She had been thinking a lot about her and Brittany during the time she was trying to use for practice. She knew that if she sang that damn duet with Brittany she would be with her instead of Optimus Prime. It hurt knowing that her own insecurities were the reason why she couldn't be with her beautiful blonde. She was about to put an end to that so, before everyone filed into the room, she pulled Mr. Shue to the side.
"Okay, everyone listen up. Before we begin our lesson today, Santana wants to sing a solo, so give her your undivided attention."
Everyone was surprised, especially Brittany. The last few weeks people forgot Santana was even in glee club because she wasn't her normal rowdy self.
"Before I start, I just want to dedicate this song to a very special person who I love with all of my heart. Brittany...this is for you"
The whole room went completely silent. They were staring at Brittany, Santana, and Artie who was glaring at Santana as if he could kill her if their eyes connected.
Share with me the blankets that you're wrapped in
Because it's cold outside, cold outside, it's cold outside
Share with me the secrets that you kept in
Because it's cold inside, cold inside, it's cold inside
And you're slowly shaking finger tips
Show that you're scared like me so
Let's pretend we're alone
And I know you may be scared
And I know we're unprepared
But I don't care
Tell me, tell me
What makes you think that you are invincible?
I can see it in your eyes that you're so sure
Please don't tell me that I'm the only one that's vulnerable
Impossible
I was born to tell you I love you
Isn't that a song already?
I get a B in originality
And it's true I can't go on without you
Your smile makes me see clearer
If you could only see in the mirror what I see
And you're slowly shaking finger tips
Show that you're scared like me so
Let's pretend we're alone
And I know you may be scared
And I know we're unprepared
But I don't care
Tell me, tell me
What makes you think that you are invincible?
I can see it in your eyes that you're so sure
Please don't tell me that I'm the only one that's vulnerable
Impossible
Slow down girl - you're not going anywhere
Just wait around and see
Maybe I am much more you never know what lies ahead
I promise I can be anyone, I can be anything
Just because you were hurt doesn't mean you shouldn't bleed
I can be anyone, anything, I promise I can be what you need
Tell me, tell me
What makes you think that you are invincible?
I can see it in your eyes that you're so sure
Please don't tell me that I'm the only one that's vulnerable
Impossible
Kurt stood to his feet and clapped extremely hard when she finished singing. Her performance was amazing. At that point, even Rachel thought Santana could beat her out for a solo at nationals. The members were still taken aback by this sight of emotion that Santana was showing, since many of them assumed that her heart was replaced with a black hole when she was younger, but they were moved by her song nonetheless and began to clap for her.
"So wait, I'm just a little confused. That song was amazing and all, but what are you saying?" Finn asked still unsure of what Santana was trying to convey or more in denial.
She thought the song was clear enough for everyone to get what she was saying, but it didn't matter as long as her blonde knew, and by the way her eyes were filled with tears, she believed she did.
"I'm saying that I am...in love with Brittany S. Pierce," Santana explained confidently.
Truth be told
At this point everyone just stopped and looked at Brittany and Artie, who were sitting in the two chairs at the end of the room. Brittany looked like she was about to cry, and Artie looked like steam was about to come out of his ears. It was really awkward for everybody, and Santana was tired of everyone looking at her so she decided that she was going to skip the rest of practice today. She walked out of the classroom and headed to her car with Kurt right on her tail.
"San, wait up!"
Kurt was out of breath trying to catch up to the girl. She didn't realize but as soon as she walked out of the room she began crying and her pace picked up and she was sprinting down the hallway. She finally stopped when she heard Kurt racing after her, but the tears still hadn't stopped yet.
"San, look…I know that was hard, but I'm so proud of you, and I'm here if you need me."
"Yeah, well thanks, but right now I think I just want to be alone."
"Okay, I understand, but can you at least call me later so I know you are alright?"
"Yeah, I'll call Kurt."
He hugged the trembling girl and she melted in his arms. The warm embrace that Kurt gave her stopped her from crying. He felt a smile come across her face while she was leaning into his chest and he tilted her head up with his index finger and smiled back at her.
"Thank you, Kurt."
They finally let go of each other and turned to go their separate ways. Santana walked to her car and sat in the driver seat and just closed her eyes to think about everything that just happened. But her thought process was broken by a loud tap on her window. She was jolted out of her own mind back to reality by an out of breath ex-Cheerio hovering over her window. She gestured for Santana to get out the car and even though she wasn't sure if she wanted to put herself through anything else today, she got out.
They stared at each other awkwardly for a few minutes unsure of what they should say to one another. Brittany finally decides to break the silence and asks a question Santana was ready for ever since she knew how she felt about the blonde.
"Did you really mean what you said?"
A seemingly simple question that Santana expected to answer with ease now had tears welling in her eyes.
"Of course I did B. I already told you that before," she said looking into her eyes then sheepishly turning her head away to her feet.
Without meaning to she referenced the heartbreaking event that took place at their lockers and a few tears slide down her cheek. She quickly wiped them away before regaining eye contact with Brittany. As much as she wanted to cry she didn't want to breakdown in front of her for the second time.
"I know..but this time you said it in front of everyone. I thought you said that we had to keep it a secret?"
"We don't..well we do..I do. I'm still not ready to come out to everyone but I've been doing a lot of thinking and well someone I know told me that I'd be safe to tell the people in glee because they wouldn't judge me. And I don't like pretending that I'm not in love with you. I'm tired of being sad all the time and hiding who I am, at least around everybody that is. I'm trying to get better, be better for you. I know you're with him but i don't care how long it takes I'm not going to let you go that easy."
Differences
Brittany was left speechless at how honest the latina was being with her since they haven't had a real conversation since she told her she couldn't leave Artie. The sky had gotten darker while they were talking and cracks of thunder started to bomb through the air. The brunette searched the taller girl's eyes for a possible reaction to what she had just said but just as Brittany was about to answer, her name was being called from the doors of the school. It was Artie who had finally found the two girls and beckoned Brittany to him like she was a five year old child who was about to be scolded for running off.
Brittany stared at Santana with her eyes glossy from imminent tears that were going to fall. They examined one another for a brief moment before the blonde turned to walk back towards the school. It seemed like at that exact moment the heaven's opened up and showered Lima with the hardest rainstorm ever. Santana stood in the rain and watched the love of her life walk away from her after she poured her heart out for yet another time.
"Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry," Santana kept saying to herself as she pulled out of the high school parking lot.
"She loves you. You know she does; it was written all over her face. She walked away but this time was different. She didn't say she couldn't be with you because of Artie and her eyes, they were filled with hope like she wants to give me another chance. That has to be it, I know Brittany, she has to still care."
~~~Later that night~~~
When Santana got home she really couldn't do much of anything. She tried to do something productive like homework or work on her glee assignment but her mind kept wandering to all the events that took place earlier that day. It was getting quite tiresome and she really needed someone to talk to and she realized she hadn't called Kurt like he had asked her to. So she picked up her cellphone from off the nightstand, flopped on her bed, and dialed his number.
"Hello?"
"Hey Kurt"
"San, thanks for calling I was beginning to get a little worried. Is everything okay hun? I know today had to be rough for you"
"Yeah I'm okay I just really need to talk. I feel a whole lot better now that I got that off my chest. God I was so nervous, I can't believe my voice didn't crack when I sung that song"
"I knew you would honey and you sounded beautiful. I couldn't believe that was you up there singing like that. Hell I think you even scared Rachel because she was a concerned about if she was still going to get a solo for nationals."
They both laughed and the thought of Rachel panicking about losing her beloved solo. It eased the tension that had formed in Santana's shoulders from talking to Brittany. Kurt and Santana talked for a while until she told him she was tired and needed to go to bed. They said goodbye and she turned off the light on her nightstand and laid in her bed. Brittany crossed her mind before she fell asleep but this time is wasn't sad thoughts. She was finally feeling better and looking towards the possible future she could have with her. She thought to herself that it could finally be different. She soon drifted off to sleep with a smile on her face and Brittany on her mind.
Furious Female
The next few days went by better than ever for the brunette. Although she had been doing well for the last few weeks since all she did was put her energy into school work she was on fire this week. It was like no one could touch her. Her confidence grew and it showed. She was glowing and no one, expect the glee club, knew why. Even without her cheerio's uniform anymore she still managed to part the hallways like the red sea. Her presence commanded respect and that is exactly what she got from everyone. She felt like the old Santana again just with a new purpose fueling her.
It was Thursday and all the glee club members were extra happy because this would be their last practice for the week. Mr. Shue had to chaperone a school trip on Friday so the kids would get to have an earlier weekend then they are used to. Santana was on her way to glee club when she realized she left her sheet music in the auditorium so she rushed back to go get it. She was about to walk on stage when she overheard some familiar voices arguing.
"What are you thinking woman you can't do that!"
"Yes I can and I am. I can't keep this from him. I already feel terrible as it is for even doing it."
"Look you need to calm down because this isn't going to affect just you here and I don't plan on losing my girlfriend because you want to get all Jiminy Cricket on me"
"This is your fault Artie. You took advantage of Mike and I's relationship. You knew we were having issues and you tried to be my knight in shining armor well it didn't work."
"Oh really? It didn't because if I recall correctly, miss goody two shoes, you had no problem with me being your prince charming because you definitely slept with me that night."
"Yeah I did and it was wrong but I was drunk and emotional. I know that isn't an excuse for it but I love Mike and I can't lie to him about this anymore."
"Baby listen just think about this we can work it ou-"Tina cut him off before he could finish.
"Artie I am not your baby, and I don't want to be. I'm going to tell Mike what happened… and there's nothing you can do about it."
Santana listened to every word they spoke and was infuriated. As much as he hated to see Brittany with someone else, especially Artie, she decided it was best not to come between her happiness. If she was going to have Brittany it would be because Brittany wanted her more not because of some plot she devised to destroy them. Tina began to walk towards the door Santana had come in through with the stairs so Artie couldn't follow her. Santana heard her coming and inched back out the door and wait for the asian girl to walk right into her unexpected doom.
Tina walks out the stage door and Santana pounces on her like a lioness on an antelope. She pushes the girl up against the locker harder than she intended. She didn't want to hurt Tina because from the way it sounded she never intended on having sex with Artie but regardless of that fact she couldn't control her anger.
"Owww," Tina yelled out.
"How could you do that to her," Santana screamed as fire burned in her eyes when she glared at Tina.
"What are you talking about," the frightened girl replied rubbing the back of her head.
"You know who I'm talking about. Brittany! How could you do that to Brittany when she's been nothing but a friend to you. I heard what you and four eyed human scooter were talking about."
"Oh my God Santana you have to know that I never meant-"
"No I don't want to hear any more of your half assed excuses do you know how much this is going to hurt Brittany!"
"How much what's going to hurt me?"
The two darker females turned around only to see Brittany standing behind them looking rather confused. Brittany was coming down the hallway searching for Artie when she heard Santana and Tina fighting over something. Because she hates when her best friend is fighting she came to see what was going on. Santana being in a fit of rage didn't notice her walk up behind them.
"Brittany," they both say in unison shocked at her presence.
"What were you guys just talking about," she pushes with a worried look on her face.
"Oh my God Brittany I'm so sorry I never meant to do this it was all Artie's fault I couldn't bring myself to do that on purpose I hope you won't hate me because you are just awesome and I have no idea what I was thinking," Tina rambles off all in one breath.
"Artie…what are you talking about"
Santana takes a deep breath and answers her best friend.
"B, Artie cheated on you…with Tina."
"What? No Artie wouldn't do that, he hates cheating he won't even use cheat codes for halo because he says it's not fair."
"Britt I know you want to believe that but it's the truth you know I wouldn't lie to you about this."
Artie makes his way around the corner to see the three girls standing at the end of the hallway. Santana shoots him a death glare so he knows what is going to happen. Brittany is frozen and is barely breathing after hearing this and seeing her boyfriend roll down the hallway like he was on death row.
"Britt before you say anything just let me expla-"Brittany cuts him off with tears in her eyes.
"Did you do it. Did you really cheat on me with Tina?"
Artie sighs in defeat he can't lie because he's already been found out and Santana isn't going to let him make up some bullshit excuse.
"Yes. But I never meant to hurt-"
The boy doesn't get to finish his sentence before the tall blonde is sprinting down the hallway towards the exit. Santana is pained by the tears her friend has pouring down her face and takes off full speed behind her trying to catch up. Tina, who is also crying, runs to the choir room to tell Mike what Brittany just found out.
"Brittany wait! Stop B please!"
Santana calls out for the girl in front of her but she is unwavering. Brittany was always faster than her in cheerio's practice so it would take a miracle for Santana to catch up to her.
"Britt…Baby stop!"
Brittany caught off guard by Santana's sudden slip of the tongue turns around to look at her. Her pace slows as they lock eyes but she quickly returns back to her former position and runs through the double doors leading to the street. Santana knows that there is no stopping her now and stop at the open doors to catch her breath and watch her friend run home.
Window seat
Enraged and feeling helpless Santana immediately turns around and takes off towards the choir room. When she gets there she sees that Mike and Tina aren't in the room so she assumes they went off somewhere to fight away from prying eyes but that isn't what she cares about. She finally sets her eyes on her target. Mr. Shue is too busy talking to Finn and Rachel about the number the want to perform at nationals to notice the destruction in her eyes. Puck however, sees the crazed diva and moves towards her to prevent what he believes will be a possible murder at McKinley.
"Oh no where do you think you're going," Puck says as he picks the angered latina up by her waist and off her feet.
"Let me go I'm going to kill that little pigmy cabronon for hurting my Brittany"
By this time Mr. Shue sees all the craziness going on and tries to calm Santana down but it doesn't work. She just kicks him in the chest knocking the wind out of him. She then takes off her shoe and chucks it at Artie's head and smacks him right in the face. The whole side of his face is red and he has shoe prints imprinted on him as well. For fear of her throwing another shoe Puck drags Santana out of the choir room to her car. After ten minutes the fiery brunette finally gives in to her own exhaustion.
"Go home Santana," Puck commands out of breath from holding her back but still having enough energy to wave her keys in front of her face.
"No I'm not done with him."
"Yes you are done. Go home or go find Brittany."
With all of the rage coursing through her veins Santana almost forgot the reason that she was willing to beat up a boy in a wheelchair. The thought of Brittany crying on her bedroom floor sends shivers down her spine and she takes her keys from Puck and races to Brittany's place. Her parents cars' aren't in the drive way yet so she uses the extra key that she knows is hidden in the flower plot by the porch swing. She unlocks the door and heads straight up to Britt's room only to find that it's empty. She's confused and a bit worried but then she realizes where Brittany must be.
She drove to the park where they meet at when they were just kids and parked across the street. It was getting dark and kind of chilly so she put on her old cheerio's hoodie and brought and extra jacket for Brittany knowing that she probably is still wearing her tank top from school. She walked to the back of the park where the woods started and found the old tree house. She walked over to the window and searched for a rubber duck on the window sill. She didn't see one so she knew that Brittany was there. Santana began to climb up the ladder to the top of the tree house to go comfort her friend.
"Hey Britt Britt," Santana said in her sweetest tone that she only addresses Brittany with.
Brittany wiped her face then looked up at her friend with watery eyes.
"How did you know I was here?"
"Because I remember when your parents used to fight and you wanted to leave the house you would come here to visit squeakers. He was your favorite toy but you put him on the window sill every time you left so he could look for you when you came back."
"Wow, you still remember that?"
"Of course I do Britt. I remember because I would always have to find you and make you feel better."
Santana knew she sounded like the biggest softy in the world and hella cheesy but she couldn't help but be that way around Britt. It always seemed to make her feel better when she was down.
"B its cold put on this jacket and come back with me okay?"
Santana phrased it more as a question than a command which was different for the latina because she rarely asked for anything. Even though she didn't respond to her verbally Brittany scooted next to Santana so the girl could put the jacket on her. After San helped the taller girl put the jacket on she turned her around to zip it up.
"There. Nice and warm right?"
"Yeah it feels a lot better now."
"I told you, now let's go bac-," the young latina was interrupted by Brittany's lips crashing into hers.
At first the brunette was surprised but she quickly released all of her desire into the most passionate kiss her and Brittany ever shared. Brittany finally pulls back away from Santana who still looks like she's in awe of what just happened. Brittany cups her face and stares into her eyes.
"San, do you know why I was in the hallway looking for Artie?"
Santana sighs and pulls back further. The use of his name after her and Brittany just shared such an intimate moment and reluctantly responds.
"No B why?"
"Because I was coming to tell him that I cared about him and I didn't want to hurt him but I'm in love with you San and I think I've always been.