First off, I'm sorry I've been so inactive for so long! It's been a hell of a year. But I want to thank you all for your continued support and lovely reviews that keep me going! I will definitely be completing the unfinished stories I have uploaded along with a few new ones I've been brainstorming! As always thanks for reading!
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Hands raised and glasses clinked as collective grins met each other, toasting to the excitement of a promising 10th series. The WILTY tradition has carried them through the years, the trio and the production team filling the usual pub, meeting up after the filming of the first episode of each new series and then the last. A tradition that even a begrudging David Mitchell had eventually warmed to.
The stretch between series, this time, was a long one, almost eight months since their leaving episode party. And nothing had reminded Lee how long it had actually been then when an hour earlier the man sitting opposite him in a studio had knitted his eyebrows together, the classic warning signs of a verbal storm brewing. Lee prepared himself for the rant to blow holes in his nonsensical lie, a tiny detail he left out or let slip that warranted this outrage. No one else had picked up on it of course, let alone dare interrupt when Lee was on a rampaging display of his quick memory, except, of course, David. The unrelenting and pinpoint accurate logic crushing down on Lee's bending and giving lie, faltering as he unsuccessfully tried to dodge David's perfected punches. He was caught, they all knew it, but he couldn't stop a creeping smile at his rival, one, which David returned earnestly. It was easy their onscreen relationship, David helped Lee broadcast exactly the way he wanted to be portrayed, just as Lee would offer David bates, sometimes on purpose and sometimes accidental, ones that David could blow out of proportion, and the audience lapped it up. But even with all the insults, he knew David never looked down on him.
Eight months was a long time to not have that constant rapport, that constant support even if it was often followed by eye rolls. But they were back as a team, and god he had missed it. He felt the best he had in a long time, alive, and firing off quick jibs and cheesy puns, determined to make David's cheeks hurt. This series was going to be better than great, he could feel it.
He was still buzzing from the show refusing to come down from that high and it was great catching up with everyone, his fifth beer was draining but the conversation flowed easily as he dived into the personal lives of the production team. He listened happily, remembering names and their children, making the rest of the off-screen team feel welcomed and valued, nodding along with their anecdotes of that they've been up to over the last eight months and weighing in with a joke or trading his own story, always ending in 'but remember don't tell David' and a twinkly grin.
Lee never had a problem with these sorts of events, he could practice material, internally gather feedback on their receptions but more importantly he genuinely cared about the team. The thought of which instinctively made him look to David. An automatic side glance to the man on the other side of the room to check on him, a habit he had developed over the years of their comedic partnership. Though David was not as repressed and socially awkward as they played up to on the show, he knew David wasn't always comfortable and he learnt to know when to offer a casual smoke break if he saw the younger man struggling. David always accepted these handouts with soft, grateful eyes but neither acknowledged Lee's perceptive act verbally. They would just smoke in a comfortable silence, letting David breathe again and regain whatever he needed to return to tackle a room full of people.
Today, though, David was already looking in his direction. Lee could see Rob's mouth going full speed as usual; it was especially hard to shut him up when he's been drinking so they exchanged a knowing smile at the expense of their host. Lee excused himself from the last group of people he'd been chatting with, sucking down the last of his beer and leaving it on the table. He stood and made his way to David, five beers in and they had barely had time to say two words together since the episode finished, Lee felt a tug of need for a chance to properly talk.
"Lads." Lee cheerfully announced his presence with a wonky smile, choosing to slide into the booth on Rob's bench rather than David's, knowing he'd appreciate not being caged in.
"L'right Lee?!" Answered Rob equally, if not more cheerfully than Lee. Lee looked at the pink-tinged cheeks and guessing how much he'd already had to drink if he's already slurring. Lee slapped him affectionately on the back as he scooted along the bench. Rob's eyes were bright but slightly unfocused as his mouth ran again. "I was just telling David what a great show it was, we gotta get Greg back on more often!"
"Greg the friendly giant, yeah class A bloke, stick him on my team though next time, worried he'd eat David."
David raised an amused eyebrow. "As much as your concern warms me, Lee, you're aware we're basically the same height?"
"Yeah, but it won't look so intimidating, 'cause ya know I'm so burly and rugged." Lee wiggled his eyebrows bating a response.
"Maybe you're right Lee, the size of your ego would probably even you two out."
Lee snorted and threw a thumb at Rob. "Well either way, as long as we keep him away from bite size."
Rob mocked something incredulous. "How dare you. I'll have you know I'm above the national average."
"Is that what ya wife tells ya?" Lee winked the innuendo to Rob and his usual slow reaction time even slower thanks to the pile of beer glasses to his right. He burst out laughing while trying to feign hurt, even David chuckled Lee noted, he must be a few drinks in too if he found that cheap shot funny.
They fell into an easy chat about the day's show and its guests before a slurring Rob noticed the absence of a drink in Lee's hand and announced his observation loudly.
"Nah it's alright mate, 7 down, job done." He lied hoping to get Rob off his back.
"Unacceptable, move." Rob bum shuffled him off the seat till he was forced to stand and Rob could push past him. He wobbled, grinned and then made his way to the bar. Lee sighed as he sat back down this time pulling up directly in front of David now Rob was gone. David and Lee watched him for a moment, watching him make a fool of himself interrupting conversations and joining in all while still trying to maneuverer through the crowd to the bar.
"So eight months?" Lee started up. "Bet ya missed me, eh? What'd ya get up to?"
David smirked at the question but only answered one. "You know as well as I Lee. I'm not going to tell you what I've been up to. Same reason we decided not to meet up between shows."
Lee's eyes sparkled with mischief. "You mean you saw through my plan to get you drunk and spill all your dirty secrets so I can finally win a series?"
"'Fraid so." David played along.
Lee clicked his tongue. "Foiled again, eh. But good yeh?"
David's eyes softened at the sincerity. "Yeah, good. You?"
"Not bad." Lee smiled trying to brush it off as light, but their conversation wilted slightly, Lee could feel David staring at him trying to work out was behind the 'not bad.' He'd find out soon enough in the papers anyway, or chatter around the show will eventually find its way to David. But right now Lee couldn't handle that probing look so he forced his gaze back to Rob.
Lee had become accustomed to their silences, they were usually comfortable and for lack of a better word from a slightly beer soaked mind, safe. He didn't feel the need to perform when it was just him and David. As much as getting David to laugh filled him with something akin to pride he knew he didn't have to be constantly 'on,' if was refreshing not to feel that pressure. But this silence made him itch especially with no glass for his fidgeting hands to toy with.
"Rob's having a good time. Cheap night out for the short arse, two drinks and he's out of it."
"Mmm." David agreed, turning to watch their host move back from the bar, obviously not satisfied with the change in subject but aware that Lee was unwilling for him to pry.
"New tradition lads!" He beamed placing a large tray brimming with shots on the table, satisfaction shining on his face with the fact he hadn't spilt them. "Shot for every season! Up to 10 now!"
"Christ Rob, trying to get rid of the competition? You're gonna kill us." His eyes flicked to David when he heard the man chuckle, his slightly intoxicated brain identified that reaction, he'd been able to ignore it in the eight months of separation but it was back and it was so warm. Sure it was natural for him to check he was making David laugh on the show, it's just respectful, good sportsmanship. But he knew as early as the first season, he'd begun seeking out that appreciation in these settings. He convinced himself it was just admiration for a completely different type of comedian finding him funny, you know respect. Probably.
Rob had been lining the shots up in front of them. Lee stopped his hand, "Thanks, man, but I've had enough, not a young'un no more, can't knock em back like I used ta." He declined politely and as convincingly as he could and looked to David expecting some backup. David however, had raised the first in his line up to his lips. He nodded towards Rob in thanks for the kind gesture then turned back to Lee, eyebrow cocked, lips turned ever so slightly upwards and his eyes saying something Lee couldn't quite piece together. In fact, he realised this was a look he hadn't seen before, and he made a career out of reading the other man. They were daring him but there was something underneath, and whatever it was, made Lee's fingers brush against the glass.
His brain screamed 'ALERT' as red sirens flashed behind his eyes. What was he doing, he'd stopped this, he swore off hard drinking. Sure, few beers won't hurt, lighten him up, but still in control. But David's eyes were still locked on him, burning into him. Lee watched David bring the shot to his lips and at the last second snapping his eyes shut and suck down the liquid, trying to hide the wince tighten his features. Lee's grip closed around the shot, what was he doing? Hell, what was David doing? David doesn't do shots; he rarely strays from house wine.
"Just do three!" Rob interrupted his monologue tripping. The pleading wine from Rob and heat still burning into him from David's gaze made him sigh and lifted up the shot in cheers. 'This is a terrible idea,' echoed in him before the first shot stung down his throat. He was able to hide his wince, unlike David who now had picked up his second shot ready to join him in a silent toast. Lee internally cursed as he matched his second one with David and mirroring his smile, which Rob muddied with loose words. "To a long life of lying! ...Though not too long, I can't afford any more shots." Rob giggled as they bottomed up.
"Ya Welsh is showing Brydon, ya cheap bastard." The third went down easy, his eyes flicked to David, perhaps he'd be ok.
Rob stayed seated at the end of the table for a while, tipping up shots one after the other, neither David nor Lee bothering to even attempt his speed. The man was on a mission to celebrate tonight and forget it tomorrow. They watched amused, and familiar chat encased the table, if not slightly stumbled and slurred.
"So have you heard about the rest of the possible lineups?" Offered David.
"I heard Jason Byrne declined again."
"Oh, so he'll go on As Yet Untitled but not us. Pfft. Clearly, we're too highbrow." Snickered Lee. David huffed in agreed amusement.
"And Bob Mortimer is scheduled sometime soon too."
"Well, that's are lime light gone." Scoffed Lee with no menace. He loved Bob and his outrageous stories that just pull you in, a natural performer without even trying.
"Fine by me."
"Oh please David, you can play as uncomfortable as you like, but I know you love all eyes and ears on you." Teased Lee playfully trying to a rise out of the obvious lie.
"Hah. How about this series you keep your ears to yourself, I couldn't take a shower hot enough after that episode." David answered with a smirk.
Lee laughed as David took another shot, he could hear Rob giggling next to him, they always fell into this casual flirting in front of audiences, it was comfortable this love-hate onscreen relationship, it worked and people lapped it up. No one more frantically than Rob and it spurred Lee on. "Hot shower? You mean freezing cold right? Never seen you blush so hard, gotta watch your blood pressure mate."
"Well years of working with you Lee, I'm actually surprised I haven't had a stroke."
"All you had to do was ask, David." Lee mimed a blowjob with his fist and tongue. David blushed furiously and forced a laugh. Shit took it too far, he scolded himself, feeling like an idiot.
Rob, however, found it hilarious. "Ah lads, I've missed all this." His laughter putting them back at ease, but Lee was still replaying David's reaction and internally whipping himself.
"Need a piss, save my seat." He patted Rob on the back as he passed, leaving David to fend for himself for a few minutes against an increasingly shameless Rob.
He relieved himself at the urinal and made his way to the sink. The silence of the bathroom separate from the bar suddenly surrounding him and making him astutely aware of how much he'd actually drank. He washed his hands and breathed out slowly, his head inching closer to the mirror before ending up leaning his forehead completely on the cool surface. He knew better, what the fuck was he thinking. He'd swore he'd never drink heavy again, not after what he did. It was just a stupid little crush. He knew it wasn't him, he would never…It was the drink, it finds that little patch of darkness and magnifies it, makes it ooze and consume you, a drunk body easy to navigate. It makes him sick; he wanted nothing more than to cut it out of him. He needed to leave.
He makes his way carefully through the crowd, his head loud. He planned to say a quick goodbye and immediately call a cab and wait outside, but David turned to his approach with those stupid soft eyes and a small encouraging smile, and everything telling him to leave faltered. He saw Rob legs up and outstretched on the bench with no intention of moving so Lee settled in next to David and tried to get his blurring brain to focus on the conversation.
"So what do you say, Mitchell?"
David turned back to Rob with a tight sigh. "Uh no. No, it's fine, thank you though Rob."
"What's this?"
"I'm trying to explain that I've met a wonderful girl, Vicky. Perfect for David, smart, beautiful, blonde."
Lee could see David was trying hard to not look like he was shying away from the conversation, he was uncomfortable as he always seemed to be when his romantic life seemed to come up, Lee knew he should help him but that sadistic side of him pulsed and fuelled with booze wanted to see him squirm a little longer.
"Gon David, come back with some juicy truths for us."
"Hah, yeah, no it's just I'm just more of a brunette kinda guy."
"Oh come on David, then we can start going on triple dates!" Rob once again dampening the mood as Lee flinched. David definitely saw it. Shit even lacquered he was still a hawk. Lee quickly deflected.
"Why dontcha David, you always whine about wanting to get that repressed persona off TV, she might get that stick out ya arse."
David scoffed, and opened his mouth like he was about to say something but quickly shut it turning back to the table a blush creeping back up to his ears.
Lee mused, curious to know what David was about to let slip that could possibly cause such a reaction. A sober Lee might have dropped it, but drunk Lee really wanted to know and was going to keep probing to try and get it out of him.
"Oh I see, you like it up the arse then. Keeps our show going I suppose, all the will they won't they repressed sexual tension."
Rob burst out into a fit of laughter while David's face bloomed crimson. Their reactions sunk into the extent of making him realise what he had actually just said.
Lee quickly tried to backtrack. "The stick David! Get your mind out the gutter." He tried to play it off but he watched David's nostrils flair, he watched him trip over internal responses before choosing to remain silent and focusing his attention back to his wine instead.
Lee followed suit, there was a beer in front of him, when did that get there. Wait did they finish all those shots? He tried to mentally count them in his already hazy memory till he found himself drinking through the froth anyway.
David was staring at him, well his lips. What? Thinking he probably had a beard of froth his tongue shot out and captured any stray drops along his lips. David's eyes followed the movement, swallowed and flicked up to see Lee had caught him watching. David's eyes snapped away quickly focusing on whatever ramblings Rob was offering at that moment.
What was that? David was touched pink again but trying hard to look like he was intently listening to Rob's drunk ideas. Is he blushing because of me? No. Some logical voice breaking through reprimanding him. This is your drunk vision seeing something you want again. Ignore it, it's not real.
The pub was starting to clear out. Lee leant back on his hands letting his back rest against the booth divider instead of leaning his elbows on the table. But he lost all sense of the conversation he was in when moments later he felt a warmth on his hand. It took Lee a second to register the sensation, but when he did he froze. Not wanting to move he risked a look down without moving his head. David had three fingers carefully placed on top of his. Did he know? He would have to, right? Lee's eyes snapped back up, heat was darting from his hand and pulsing through his veins. He still hadn't moved, why hadn't he moved his hand away?
Was this payback? David's way of showing him how uncomfortable he was making him with the jokes, throwing it right back at Lee to teach him a lesson. His eyes flicked over David's profile, as tense as he was eyes hard on Rob but deaf. He's waiting. He's waiting for a reaction. That was it wasn't it. Anger and embarrassment flared in Lee. This was some sick game David was playing. Lee pulled his hand away, standing up, perhaps too fast as the toll of the drink blacked his vision for a second.
"Smoke." It wasn't a question, it wasn't a statement, it was a demand. One which, he didn't check to see if David was following but just up and left knowing he would. David did follow, unquestioningly at the command, offering a polite 'take care' to Rob who was too far gone to notice the sudden change in Lee anyway.
Lee made his way out, to their usual smoking area round the side of the building where David could usually have some privacy from anyone coming in or out of the pub and the main road. He waited eyebrows knotted together. Why was he so angry? He could feel it bubbling trying to overflow. He's drunk too much, way too much but he couldn't find the capacity to care. Suddenly there was David next to him, and the feeling subsided. 'He's your friend' he kept repeating trying to soothe the red in him. David was a lot closer than he usually was, not often one for physical contact but here both men leant against the wall their arms pressed into each other. David offered him a cigarette, which he took and they lit up letting the brisk night air attack their clouds.
Lee felt David lean into him ever so slightly more. He was a lot closer than David usually allowed him, Lee had always respected the space he needed, off the show of course. On the show it was fair game, in fact, he had a morbid obsession seeing how far he could push the man for contact. Head tilted up to the sky at the cloudy dark night asphyxiating all light that might be trying to shine through. Obsession. Is that what it was? Fuck was he obsessed with David Mitchell?…Did David know?
Lee threw down his fag, watching the remains burn into the pavement and let his hand swing down to his side. And there it was again, that hesitant warmth from a tiny touch stroking along his fingers burning him. David knew, he fucking knew and he was playing with him.
He snapped. It came full force. Lee twisted his body round, hands slamming into the concrete either side of David's head. Lee's eyes burning with rage and his tongue spitting fire. "What the fuck you playing at Mitchell."
David's eyes were huge and panicked. David grimaced and immediately sobered up to the fact Lee was glaring at him with pure detest. The disgust and absolute hate spiking through usually calm and warm eyes realised what a mistake he had made, and David shrank into the wall willing his brain to come up with some quick retort to brush it all off as a joke but his words were failing him as all he manage was a meek, barely audible "I'm sorry."
Which only helped in fuelling the fire. "You're sorry!" He growled incredulously into David's face humiliation and shame pushing him further. "You're fucking sorry. You force me to drink, start hitting on me, and you're sorry?!" David gulped, it was like looking at the sun, he kept trying but his eyes couldn't meet Lee's for fear of burning them right into the sockets.
Lee sneered at the man gulping beneath him, seeing that David's eyes wouldn't meet his. "This is what you want huh?" He spun David so fast face first into the wall pressing his body flat into his back. He could feel David's breath short and quick beneath him as Lee crowded every part of him. Lee's left hand wrapped around the back of David's neck holding him in place with painful pressure. The other coming up to yank the back of his shirt collar. David always leaving the top few open gave Lee enough room to expose the flesh of his shoulder. David hadn't moved, till Lee dove onto his neck biting down into the meat immediately marking the skin. David's palms that were flushed flat against the bricks curled into tightly pressed fists. The weight against his back pinning him. Lee was feral. A second bite followed by a lap of the raw skin, tongue soothing the burn. He growled into another series of kisses and bites as he rocked forward closing the last bit of unconnected body. David gasped feeling Lee hard rocking up in the crest of his arse. Lee groaned into the base of his neck, still lavishing it with teeth and tongue. He kept grinding against him. "Yeah that's what you want isn't it." he panted against his neck, his hand sliding round David's chest working downward. David had stopped breathing. His other hand yanking David's hair back to access the other side of his neck eliciting the exhale of a sharp harsh gasp. As Lee intended to claim the other side of tender skin, a shine of liquid caught his gaze. He tried to focus on it, through the tunnel vision of anger and lust. Something was forcing him to keep looking through the haze and his movements stilled. His hands suddenly forced away and Lee leapt backwards panting like he'd been electrocuted. Blood. A trace of it on the brickwork but most on David's face. A graze starting just above his eyebrow to almost past his nose. Lee was suddenly overcome with the need to vomit.
"D-Did I do that?" He wanted more than anything to move closer but David was still flat against the wall small sharp intakes of breath and massive dark eyes locked on him. "….David…I…oh god, I'm so sorry." He wanted to reach out to him, check the wound, fix him, fix this. But the louder part of him was screaming to flee. He was backing up even with his arm still outreached. David watched with his head still half turned as Lee ran off into the darkness.