A long while ago when Albert was just in Kindergarten, he went to a wedding.
In fact, he was dragged to a wedding.
MANY weddings.
The tiny little thing didn't mind seeing a couple joined by holy matrimony or anything. Even if he knew damn well it wouldn't last for a week.
He just hated it when old people would smile and poke you in the ribs and say "You're next."
Fed up with the poking and old people, one day, 6 year-old little Albert went to his first funeral and spotted one of the elderly and took a seat next to them.
The dear old woman turned to him with a wrinkle graced smile and ruffled his hair.
Oh how cute he looked. The deep blue eyes almost sparkled with joy.
However that didn't last for long.
"How are you dearie?" she asked in her crackly voice.
"I'm fine." He beamed.
After the person was revealed and speeches were given, all the adults, including old widow Misses Tuffet were crying.
Albert on the other hand was still beaming.
After a few moments of crying, Misses Tuffet felt something ever so lightly jabbing her ribs and she was about to look down to Albert with a smile but found herself mildly, if not completely disturbed.
Albert's eyes were as red as the moons of hell and his grin was all but a comfort as he repeatedly poked the old woman in the ribs.
"Oh Misses Tuffet~"
His voice was twisted, demented and above all else demonic.
One would think they know blood-curdling, but until now.
Never.
"Guess what Misses Tuffet~"
The woman stammered and shivered violently as the boy leaned closer to her face until eye-level.
"You're next."
Poor Misses Tuffet gasp and fainted right in her seat.
Well...
That and she was stuck in a mental institution for the rest of her life and you can probably still find her.
So yeah.
You don't poke Albert at a wedding
He doesn't poke you at a funeral
SENIOR CITIZENS MUST LEARN THEIR BOUNDARIES
Just kidding.
I love old people.
END