Ship: Quinn/Rachel.
Rating: NC-17.
Summary: At the start of S3, Quinn is back to being the real Quinn, no more pink hair, but during this summer of madness, she faces her feelings and understands that love is more difficult than she'd thought, especially if the person she loves is standing still in front of a diverge and she doesn't know what to do.
Author's Note: This FanFiction was born at the beginning of the third season, after a particularly vivid dream that I've done on Quinn and Rachel, which of course I couldn't ignore. Initially it was planned as a mini fanfiction up to 3 chapters, but then, given the great feedback it had in Italy, it has become a long of 11 chapters. I hope you like it the first chapter, because the next will be even more intense!
Thanks to all those who will follow this and let me know what they think about it!
A big kiss!
/
Chapter 1
She has to admit it, she's in love.
She gets up every morning with this awkward constant pain in her chest.
She gets dressed, chooses her shoes, accessories; all of this, whatever she does, she's thinking about her constantly.
She can't wait to get in the choir room, planning all the time what she's to say to her, the gestures, the smiles, even the looks she has to hold back.
She spends her mornings looking at her in the hallway.
She can't help it.
She's simply adorable, beautiful, innocent.
Rachel Berry can't look different than this in her eyes.
Quinn has never thought she'd get a real chance with Rachel, they're so different. She has spent years torturing her, giving her terrible nicknames. If she thinks about her now, these nicknames make her sick. She has realized in time that insults were unfounded, Rachel is just wonderful.
The summer before the start of her senior year has been interesting, and she has lived it in desperate search of herself. The first step has been cutting and dyeing her hair, enjoying a look that suits her more in her opinion. The blonde natural doll that was always ready to do the right thing was gone.
The second step has been changing her friendships: she loved Santana and Brittany, but she needed to change, to innovate, to grow. One hot and muggy evening, 'in a place with a questionable fame', she had met a motor-biker named Mark and then things had gone great.
With him she had explored worlds she didn't know, experience real life, experiences that, she has to admit it, she had enjoyed a lot and it was there that she had realized that a man couldn't give her anything that she couldn't find anywhere else.
The third step had been to accept the reality: that time away from nosy friends, overprotective mothers and expectations on her had given her so much to think about it.
She had discovered she didn't hate anything about Rachel Berry.
Rachel hadn't ruined my life, on the contrary, she had made it better and Quinn had realized that she is in love with her.
Obviously, it hadn't been easy to accept at first, indeed, it had been quite traumatic for her, but during a crazy night, in the madness of a moment and in a vague attempt to resist that hateful feeling, she found herself with a golden star tattooed on her stomach.
From that very moment, she had realized that there was no way out.
How could she deny such a thing even when in a state of unconsciousness, mainly due to alcohol, she had done nothing but thinking about her?
Then school had started and she was back in Lima, because even though it was at a particular stage of her life, she wasn't going to throw all of her future as an old rag.
As the days passed at McKinley, she gained more awareness of never being able to get closer to Rachel and slowly things had gone to hell, completely.
Shelby Corcoran had the bright idea to come back to Lima with Beth, the brilliant idea to make her part of her child's life, the bright idea to threaten her existence even more.
Right now, if she thinks about it, she realizes that she had acted crazy when it happened, but no one's had to go through the disastrous river she has been forced to swim into for great part of her adolescence.
Conscious of not being able to receive the love that she's craving for from Rachel, she had clung desperately to the strong link she felt with her little baby girl, believing that, once she had taken her back, everything that was wrong in her life would return to the right place.
She realizes now how wrong she had been.
The object of all her desires herself has been capable to make her reasonable again, helping her to find that place in the world she has wanted so much. So she has gone back to being the 'normal' Quinn.
She has gone back to her blond hair and has begun to wear those flowering clothes that she has to admit, were greatly missed; she was back in Glee Club - this just because she wanted to have a chance to see her as much as possible -, her grades went high again and she had applied to get into Yale.
Things were going great, she was proud of how she had managed to recover from the quicksand that seemed to have swallowed her. A few weeks after her application, she could say with absolute joy of being accepted into the prestigious college, and this had given her hope to continue with that status of pure happiness.
She had hit rock bottom, but she had seemed to have found the right time to get back to the surface and she could said she felt feel happy, or at least in part; she missed one single thing in order to achieve absolute happiness.
But that's never going to happen.
/
It's a day like any other when Rachel enters the girls' bathroom and asks her advice. The first thing that Quinn has found herself thinking is that she's pregnant and her heart has skipped a beat at the thought; but what comes out of the girl's lips is an even bigger blow to be collected.
"Finn asked me to marry him."
"And what did you say?"
She has a tremendous fear of asking, but she needs to know, she needs to hear it from her lips.
God, tell me she hasn't said yes, please, please, please ...
"I told him I needed to think about it."
"Well, … y-you can't."
The words are out before she can stop them.
She can't, she can't marry him, not now, not when Quinn is finding the strength to tell her about how she feels, not now ... she can't!
The pain she has felt when she has gotten out of the bathroom is almost equal to what she has felt when Rachel has asked all the girls for advice about having sex with Finn. She had been completely emptied at that, as if she had ripped the heart out of her chest and had thrown it to the ground and then stepped on it.
But what can she expect?
Finn is her boyfriend, they've been together for a long time now, sooner or later that would have happened anyway, but Quinn has so hoped that she'd be the one. She has dreamt so many times during the summer, when she woke up from those vivid dreams, as she felt like she could still feel the taste of her skin, the soft moans that came from her lips, Rachel's nails scratching her back ...
Her dream is never going to become true, now Quinn is aware of it and after the announcement that Finn has made at the Glee Club that afternoon, she has no doubt that she'd better forget Rachel forever.
/
"Have you told Finn yet?"
Rachel presses her small white paper against her breast and shakes her head slightly.
The first ... No, okay, the second person she had thought to tell about it has been him, and if she has to be honest, she hasn't even thought about telling Finn.
"So what is it that you're going to do now?" Kurt asks, raising an eyebrow.
Things are getting more complicated so visibly: only a few hours before she's thought she had nothing but her boyfriend, but now she can have it all, and at the same time she might stay stuck in Lima forever.
"You have to tell him." Kurt warns her, closing the locker. "He has the right to know."
"I know, Kurt, I know." Rachel replies. "But how-"
"I told you you should have waited a few more days." He reminds her, taking a few steps down the hallway. "It was totally impossible that you didn't get a letter."
"I screwed up." Rachel admits while a new weird weight crashes into her chest.
"Yes, you did." Kurt notices. "And now you have three options." He says, gesturing with his hands. "Finn can come and live with you in New York, but it's very unlikely of him; you could stay here with him, and the thought alone makes me whimper, or you should start considering the idea of a break-up ..."
"No way," Rachel says instinctively, putting a hand on Kurt's chest. "How can you think of such a thing, Kurt?"
Kurt stops his walk to watch her intensely.
"Rachel, I know you." He starts. "And I know the reason for which you have accepted his proposal and now you're holding your future between your fingers you know you haven't made the right choice." He continues with piercing blue eyes chained to Rachel's. "I know it, you know it, my parents know it, even Quinn tried to make you understand, but for Heaven's sake Berry, you're tough!" He says, patting his hand on her head.
Quinn.
Her name's enough to remind Rachel what she has to do.
When she'd opened the letter, the first person she had thought was her; she needs to find her, she has to tell her the news, just as she has done a few weeks before in the school bathroom. She wants to see incredibly green and expressive eyes filled with pride in knowing that she has been successful, just as she had told her the year before in the auditorium.
'You don't belong here, Rachel.'
"It was an impulsive decision Rach and you know it very well." Kurt continues, walking through the door of the choir room.
Rachel sighs heavily and follows him quickly, before hiding the paper she still held in her hands in the pocket of the dress she's wearing. She doesn't want Finn to see it yet; she needs to think about it, to talk to someone, someone other than Kurt, someone who has always talked honestly to her and sometimes even brutality.
Someone ... Someone who's not in the room right now; someone Rachel doesn't manage to find for the rest of the afternoon.
It seems like she's disappeared.
/
Quinn puts her arm on her eyes again and tries to swallow the large knot that had formed in her throat when she had heard those words coming from Finn's lips. She still can't believe it; Rachel has accepted his proposal, tying the noose to her neck.
She had always thought Rachel was such a smart girl, a person that was willing to do anything to achieve her goals and, instead, Rachel has disappointed her.
Just like everyone else.
She takes a deep breath and tries to erase from her mind the embrace they had exchanged in the bathroom a few weeks before; she also tries stop feeling to smell of her skin still so vivid in her nostrils, the feeling of her thick, soft hair on her face.
"Damn," she curses among the silent walls surrounding her.
How is it possible that she can't stop thinking about her even for a second?
It's crazy, she really needs a little break, she can't take any more, and the situation is becoming unbearable.
But she's going to forget about her soon, she has to. Rachel has decided to get married and she has to impose herself to take her out of her mind. Rachel is never going to feel anything for her, she loves Quinn, you could see it in her eyes that Rachel feels sort of an affection towards her, but she doesn't really love her the way Quinn lover her.
"You can't do it, Rach." She murmurs slowly, squeezing her eyes shut.
She doesn't want to cry, she's not going to pay more tears for this excruciating feeling, but it's not so simple, she feels her eyes wetting she can't help but pass a hand on them to erase the tracks.
She can'tmarry him, she finds herself thinking for the thousandth time today.
Finn isn't the right guy for her and although she doesn't want to be so self-centered to think that she's the love of Rachel's like, she just knows for sure that Finn isn't this person either. He's a good boy, no doubt about it, he has a big heart and loves Rachel, but she needs to fly.
She has to leave Lima, become famous, to fulfill her dream, to meet her idols, maybe even go out for dinner with them, to go back in Lima just for Christmas holidays or to greet old friends, before returning to her perfect life in the Big Apple.
She would have found an important man, one that would allow her to live like the princess she is and she can't say with absolute certainty that this prince is Finn Hudson.
She startles with fright when she hears the bell penetrate the haze of her brain and she can't do anything but sit at the edge of the bed.
Who could it be?
Her mom is out of town and she really doesn't need to use the bell; maybe it's Santana or Britt, maybe they're worried about not seeing her all afternoon. She gets up slowly and walks to the window to check, but from the point she's standing, she doesn't manage to see the mysterious visitor.
'If I ignore him, maybe he'll just go away.' Quinn thinks and she really doesn't want to see anyone right now.
When the bell rings again, she realizes that whoever it is, he's not going to give up easily; so after she has snorted loudly, she gives a quick glance to check that the make-up hasn't drooled too much along her face and goes downstairs.
Who she faces is the last person she'd expected to see, especially the last person she thought was even aware of her address.
"Rachel ..." Quinn mumbles, a little confused.
"Hello." Rachel replies simply. "Can I come in?"
Although she has asked for permission, the girl doesn't even let her talk, and takes a few steps inside the house, leaving her really confused. Quinn closes the door to her back and turns to face her, but Rachel is gone, and when she hears her footsteps in the living room, she has to take a deep breath before she can reach her.
She is going to need all her self-control not to do something she would regret bitterly. It's the first time ever that they find themselves alone in a room, a room where there're comfy couches, tables, soft beds ...
You can do it, you're Quinn Fabray, don't let anyone push you with your back to the wall. She says to herself as she enters the room. 'Just focu -'
Her brain stops in mid-sentence, when she sees Rachel sitting on her couch with her legs crossed, the skirt of the dress she is wearing that leaves uncovered her tanned skin, making her thighs look so long and delicious ...
Quinn clears her throat to make her notice her presence, before taking a seat on the couch cautiously, letting the coffee table act as a divider between them.
"You weren't there this afternoon." Rachel starts with a little too much bitterness in her voice.
Quinn frowns her eyebrows for a few seconds. "I had ... some things to do." She answers simply, keeping it vague.
"What kind of things?" Rachel asks.
"Some things."
"Well, they can't only be some-things, they must be some kind of things." Rachel points out.
"What?" Quinn asks, confused and upset, before deciding not to enter her psychology if she doesn't want to get stuck and trapped. "How did you know where I live?"
"Don't think you can change the subject like this, Quinn Fabray." She warns her.
"Same for you, don't think you can evade the question, Rachel Berry." She snaps back.
"Santana gave it to me." She answers quickly. "So what about these things that were so important that made you skip lessons and glee club?"
"I've already said it a long time ago, Rachel, my world doesn't revolve all around the Glee Club." She says with a little too much hatred, making Rachel startle in surprise.
When Quinn sees the pain in these chocolate brown spheres, she bites her lower lip, feeling guilty for having used that tone.
"I-I just had to say goodbye to my mom, who was leaving for the weekend, she had to leave me some recommendations." She explains more calmly as she begins to fiddle with her hands.
"I see ..." Rachel says softly. "I didn't mean to be so petulant." She confesses eventually. "It's just that I'm used to always see you sitting in the room during rehearsals, with your smile on your face, and I missed you."
At these words Quinn's heart misses a beat for a moment, making her lift her face suddenly to gaze at the girl standing in front of her.
Why does fate play with her heart like this? What has she done that it's so bad to make her deserve all this suffering? Hasn't she got already her plentiful share of trouble?
"Why are you here, Rachel?" Quinn asks in a weak voice, putting a hand over her own heart, believing that in this way she'll be able to curb the frenetic beats.
Rachel doesn't answer her; she grabs her bag that she has left resting on the arm of the couch and pulls out a white letter, sliding it gently on the table. Quinn glances at her and then at that blank sheet of paper, before bending over to pick it up.
"You're a finalist." She says finally with a sweet smile on her lips, looking at her intently. "Congratulations, Rachel, seriously."
But what she sees in her eyes is anything but happiness, there's torment, indecision and also a slight hint of pain.
"You don't seem very happy." Quinn remarks, raising an eyebrow. "Isn't it what you've always dreamed of?"
"You're wrong, I'm happy." Rachel answers, forcing a small smile. "And I haven't told Finn yet and I seriously need some advice."
"Dump him." The words come out of Quinn's mouth before she can stop them, but she doesn't regret it even for even a second.
Rachel's eyes widen in disbelief, as she's unable to really believe that Quinn could have even thought such a thing.
"It's not the kind of advice I was looking for, Quinn." She exclaims angrily. "It's the second time you suggest me that and I'm engaged to him, so I think you understand that it's not among the options."
Quinn shakes her fists and jaw, longing to strike Finn's nose with her knuckles. He has made her a brainwashing, that's not the ambitious Rachel she has always known, the one she has learned to love. What had happened?
She wants her back and she wants her now!
"If my advice is not okay to you, Rachel, then that's the door." She says angrily. "I didn't ask you to come here, you've done all by yourself, you've asked for advice and then you even dare to question what I say?" She asks rhetorically. "I think you've lost your way, where is the Rachel that would fight with teeth and nails for her dream?"
"Thinking to include Finn in all of this doesn't mean-"
"Bullshit," Quinn hushes, angrily, slamming the letter forcefully on the table and standing up abruptly. "You're just telling the version that you think will make you sleep at night sleep when you'll be anchored here in Lima with Finn working until late in Burt's shop to pay the bills and you'll be taking care of your children. You won't see your husband for more than three hours a day and when you'll see him, he'll be too tired to pay any attention to you and he'll fall asleep on the couch." She continues, bringing out all the anger that she's accumulated during these weeks. "You're just a hypocrite, Rachel." She ends with a loud voice, out of breath and flushed cheeks.
"How dare you!" Rachel jumps up suddenly, pointing to the face. "I'm a hypocrite? Talk to the girl who had concocted the perfect plan to recover her child, only because she didn't know what to do with her life anymore!"
These words hit the mark, causing Quinn to take a few steps.
"Yes, you're right, I'm a fail who has attempted the most desperate thing to gain some accomplishment, but at least I have the decency not to hide behind a fake relationship because I'm afraid of being alone!"
They stare at each other for a few more seconds, before Quinn lets herself fall back on the couch, putting her hands to her face and trying hard to stop the trembling of her body. She has done such a mess, she has left emotions win over her actions as it always happens to her. She wouldn't be surprised to see Rachel go out, slamming the door in one of her effect-outputs.
But that girl is gone a long time, that Rachel who was a misunderstood diva and did it to attract the attention is so far away in the past now. Quinn admits that she has always found her even incredibly adorable then, but she'd much prefer the woman who she has become or at least that she could have become, before the Finn cut her wings.
"I'm so sorry, Rach." She says finally, face hiding behind her fingers. "I shouldn't have said all those things, I lost control, I beg you to forgive me."
When she finally takes her hands away from her face, she finds herself face to face with the girl of her dreams. Rachel is sitting on the small coffee table instead of taking her purse and run away, and she's staring at Quinn with those eyes that always look like they're capable of reading inside.
"What's happening to you, Quinn?" Rachel asks softly, tilting her head to the side. "Where is all this poison coming out of?"
Quinn looks away and points her gaze on Rachel's hands who have started to brush her over the fabric of her jeans. "It's been a rough week." She says, hoping that this explanation can be enough. "I've yelled at you while you had nothing to do with it, I'm sorry."
"Don't insult my intelligence." Rachel warns. "I know you, I've always been good at reading you and I know that something is bothering you."
"Rachel, forget it, okay?" Quinn says, but when she sees that the girl isn't going to give up, she adds between her teeth. "I don't want to talk."
"Why don't you ever express your thoughts, Quinn?" Rachel says, dangerously close to cross the limit of patience. "I feel like I'm at the dentist when I talk with you, we're friends, friends share stuff. You've helped me a lot, I want to be able to give ba-"
"God, give me strength." Quinn mutters, making her shut up instantly. "Rachel my head aches, please." She says, standing up. "I gave you the advice you were looking for, I'm sorry that isn't what you wanted, but now I think you should go." She dismisses, walking to surpass her.
She doesn't even take a step that Rachel's small and delicate hand catches her wrist, preventing her from continuing. Quinn turns slowly and she is dazzled by these eyes and what she's able to read inside them.
"Why are you running from me?" Rachel asks in a low voice. "Why can't you stand being in the same room with me for too long?" She continues, nervously biting her lower lip, making it clear by the gesture that she actually already knows the answers to these questions.
That's the drop that breaks the jar, that's what gives Quinn the strength to do it. It's now or never, catch it, you have nothing to lose anymore.
"I think you already know the answers to these questions." She whispers.
"Since when?" Rachel asks with a trembling voice.
"Unconsciously forever." Quinn mutters, looking away. "But I've come to terms with myself this summer."
"I don't ... I didn't know ... I've never imagined you ..." Rachel stammers incoherently.
"You don't have to say anything." Quinn reassures her. "Actually, I didn't say anything, so technically you're not even sure what we're talking about." She continues, trying to defuse.
But it's not enough to break the tension: an awkward silence envelops the living room and Quinn lets out a shaky breath. She has to take the situation in her hands, she has to nip that talk if she doesn't want things get out of hand for both.
"It'd be good for you to go n-"
She doesn't manage to finish the sentence, she finds herself being kissed fervently, Rachel's body pressed against hers, while Berry is clenching in her fingers the soft fabric of her shirt to draw her closer to her. Quinn feels a jolt run all over her body and her hands shift to reach for Rachel's hair, tightening around it to hold her.
The kiss is sweet, sensual and not at all rushed. Rachel takes her time to taste Quinn's lips, realizing how soft they are, gentle and good-tasting. Her mouth tastes like cherries to be accurate.
They kiss for what seems like hours, until the lack of air forces them to separate, causing Rachel to put her forehead against Quinn's, who still has her eyes closed and her hands deep into Rachel's hair.
"Open your eyes, Quinn." Rachel mutters finally, brushing her cheek with fingertips.
Quinn shakes her head slightly and drops her arms to her sides. She can't look at her, not now, not after the kiss; it would break her heart to see these chocolate eyes looking tremendously guilty eventually.
"Don't hide from me." She continues. "Open your eyes and look at me."
"Please don't do this, Rachel." Quinn says finally, her voice trembling with tears. "Don't play with my feelings like this." She begs her.
"I would never do that, now look at me."
Quinn opens her eyes and she's lost in this charming dark sea that has always been so full of life, expectations, dreams, love ...
"Why haven't you ever told me?" She asks.
"It wouldn't have mattered." Quinn answers simply.
"It would have been very important to me." Rachel disagrees, shaking her head. "Things would have been different, and-"
"It doesn't matter now." Quinn cuts her off with a wave of her hand. "You're engaged, and I know from experience that Rachel Berry takes her commitments seriously."
"Quinn-" She tries to say.
"You should go, Rachel." Quinn says coldly.
"No." Rachel replies promptly.
"Then I order you to." Quinn continues, eyes filled with fire.
"You can't be serious ..."
"Go away," She shouts, making her jump with fright. "I don't want you here, not after this." She continues, angry. "You're still the Finn's girlfriend and this certainly won't change for a kiss, then I beg you to leave." Then, without waiting for a further reply by the girl, Quinn climbs the stairs, headed to her room and collapses on the bed, hiding her face in her hands.
When she hears the entrance door clunk shut, she finally lets the tears come out.
/
Tears cloud her mind and she realizes that she can't see the road, so when she sees the traffic light turn green, she puts the first gear and looks for a place to stop to regain control of herself. She pulls to the side of the road, next to a church and that makes her cry harder.
What the hell is she doing?
She is completely confused, she has no idea where to turn, her life is going completely to hell. This is supposed to be her year, the one that would allow her to fulfill her dreams, but things are going in another direction.
She feels lost and alone.
She can't feel anything to be honest.
She brings her hands to her face and the sobs begin to shake violently the body, while the weeping grows more and more intensely and heartbreaking. She has lost her way, everyone expects something from her and she doesn't know what to do.
Does she really want to marry Finn? And how is she going to tell him that she had already received the letter and that therefore there's a one-way ticket to New York waiting for her? What would her dads say about it?
And then there's Quinn ...
Quinn whom she's has just wounded, the same Quinn who has tortured her for many years, the Quinn whom she has seen change in these years, the Quinn who has to give up many things in her life, the Quinn has approached slowly and has carved a place in her heart, that same Quinn that loves her.
She hasn't told her in words, but Rachel has read it in her eyes, in her body language and in that kiss. She doesn't know why she has done it, but she has felt that it was right, like she had to do it and she had always wanted to taste those lips.
Yes, Rachel Berry has always been attracted to Quinn Fabray, probably from the first time she has seen her in the hallway, maybe it's one of the reasons that have always forced her to seek her friendship.
But the impulsive gesture has put her into trouble, now in addition to not knowing what to do with her future, she is also able to hurt a person she cares about. Her heart had broken when she'd heard her resigned voice, asking her not to play with her feelings. She isn't a girl who likes to play with the feelings of others.
'And what about Finn's feelings then? You've always said that kissing another person is cheating, yet isn't it what you've done today? '
Finn ... Her sweet and tender Finn, the boy she has always loved, the guy she has been able to win after a tough fight, and now that she can have forever, she doesn't know what to do.
Rachel loves him, feels the true feelings for him, but accepting his proposal might not have been the best thing to do. The words of her friends echo into her head.
'You're too young!'
'He's going to stop you from fulfilling your dreams!'
'He's never going to come to New York!'
'You have to have to break up with him.'
"What am I supposed to do?" She mutters.
The radio, which she had on when she ran away from the Fabray residence, gives her the answer she to the question she has whispered in the empty car.
Te Amo, Te Amo, she says to me, I hear the pain in her voice.
She almost wants to laugh at the absurdity of the situation, thinking that someone must be angry with her, or simply the universe is trying to tell her something. She places her hands against the steering wheel and drops her head, tears that scroll quickly on her tanned face.
Te amo, Te amo, she's scared to breathe.
"Why, Quinn? Why didn't you tell me?" She cries out of breath. "Why?" She asks in a broken voice, beating her fists on the steering wheel. "You're always so damn swollen with pride!"
Now Rachel can't do anything, she has made a decision, she has committed, she has given her word, but then why does she feel as if someone has ripped her heart out? Why has she felt her breath stuck in her throat and her stomach doing somersaults when she has read the truth in those beautiful green eyes?
She barely listens to Rihanna's words as she tries to regain control of her emotions; she quickly wipes her tears with the palm of her hand and takes a deep breath, shifting gears. She can't stay parked there forever, so she starts the engine again onto the street. When she has to stop at the traffic lights, she looks at the large intersection in front of her.
On the right, the man to whom she has agreed to become his wife.
On the left, the girl who has always meant something to her.
As seconds go by and she watches people cross the road in front of her car, she begins to think frantically about what to do.
She turns on the turn signal and waits.
The lights change and she turns the other way around.
She has made her decision.
/
Rachel is drunk on these kisses, intoxicated by the smell of her skin, the sounds it makes while she presses her lips to the other girl's. She runs her hands into her hair and throws her own head back, while hot kisses come down to brush her jaw up and down her neck, where pink soft lips close to suck her delicate skin.
It seems to her that every sensations is amped today, she feels transported into another dimension, one where what she has learned to do in recent months is different: it feels more intense, deeper, more beautiful.
Sitting against her muscular legs, she holds tight to her shoulders when she hears the skillful hands pull down the zipper of her dress, making sure that this would fall on her hips. She watches her arms get up and goes to undo her strapless bra, pulling it away, then gently from her arms, throwing it on the floor, immediately reached from the thin dress she has worn this morning.
Her breath stops when she mirrors into these eyes staring at her with love and admiration.
"Rachel ... You're so beautiful ..." Quinn says hoarsely, before her tongue comes down to lick the valley of her breasts, until it gets to her nipple, forcing Rachel to a little moan.
She throws her head back as she feels Quinn's mouth shut on the other breast, closes her eyes and tightens her fingers around the shoulders of the girl underneath her; when she feels her lips hungrily suck her nipple, she lets out another loud moan as her hands go to stroke Quinn's thighs.
"You drive me crazy ..." Quinn mutters again, but before Rachel can answer, she closes her mouth with her own again.
She loses it again in this kiss full of passion; that is before Rachel - without knowing how - finds herself lying on the bed, with a thicker and taller body above her. She closes her eyes again, enjoying this feeling, so unknown to her.
Rachel has turned her brain off completely, what she wants to do right now is just to feel. There is no right or wrong, there are only two of them in this room she has come to know, where there are only two souls who have found each other after a long time; they want to taste each other, they want to get lost into the sensation.
She has a desperate need to feel Quinn's skin on her, she doesn't want a rubbing of clothes; so with a little of impatience she pulls the hem of Quinn's shirt. It doesn't take long before they're brushing skin against skin.
There is no need for words, they have to let their bodies speak, their lips, their hands. Rachel is somehow afraid that if she says something, that spell is going to break. She feels a trail of kisses down her neck and collarbone, falling to reach for her chest again.
"Quinn ..." she manages to mutter finally, when the girl's mouth slides on her breasts.
She drops her head back on the pillow, while surrounding the nipple with her tongue, and from time to time, touched her soft flesh with her teeth, making her stretch and then relax after a few seconds.
When Quinn lets go of her breasts to move on her wonderful stomach, pressing her tongue in the perfect navel, Rachel lets out a little sigh that almost sounds like happiness. She is completely absorbed by the sensations and only the subtle pressure of Quinn against her left leg keeps her anchored to the real world.
The movement leads her to open her legs, and when she sees her fingers slip under the elastic of her panties, she tenses. Quinn, noticing the change, raises her head to look into her eyes and Rachel is surprised that she's silently asking for permission, having this sincerity that is constantly bright behind her beautiful green eyes, so she can't help but nod.
Quinn runs her underwear down her thighs, accompanying the movements with her body, throwing to the floor. "I've wanted to do this for so long, stripping you down, feeling you gorgeous naked body against mine ..." She confesses with a persuasive voice.
Since she had made love to Finn for the first time and the subsequent times to come, not even a single kiss has made Rachel feel what she's feeling at that moment.
"You're wonderful." Quinn murmurs, kissing her belly. "So perfect, a sweet little angel." She continues to kiss her as she comes down her inner thigh.
When Rachel's hips jerk to her face in search of a better contact, Quinn smiles and looks up at her. She sees her face flushed, her breath labored and messy hair.
Rachel opens her eyes and crosses Quinn's green ones, full of passion. She sees that Quinn is still staring at her even when she sticks out her tongue and passes it on the folds of her wet pussy, tracing the contours up and down, carefully avoiding her perceptive point.
"Even better than I ever thought." Quinn confesses. "You taste like freedom, Rach."
She slowly tortures her for what seems like an eternity, licking and kissing gently. Rachel's body writhes anxiously waiting for something more and eventually Quinn agrees.
She circles her clit with her lips, while Rachel grabs the sheets with strength and bites her lower lip in an attempt not to scream. Hearing the cries of the girl, Quinn digs her fingers into her thighs and buries her mouth into her soaking sex, trying to close her eyes and concentrate on her pleasure.
Rachel begins to pass her hands through her short hair, while Quinn's mouth keeps moving with incredible skill. Once again, Quinn looks up: the sight of the girl, with her head tilted back, her mouth half open that gasps for air, it's without any doubt the most erotic picture she has ever seen in her entire life.
Rachel gasps strong while she feels Quinn's fingers touch her sex, approaching every now and then to its center, provoking her. Quinn keeps moving her tongue, still teasing her with her fingers, as Rachel moans louder.
"Please, Quinn, please ..." She begs without any shame, with nothing but desire in her tone.
Quinn doesn't need to be told twice, she pushes a finger inside, making her arch on the mattress.
"Oh god," Rachel moans, grabbing her hair with more strength.
"Beautiful." Quinn mumbles without stopping to look at her, stopping the movements of her hand. "You're just beautiful."
"Don't stop, please, don't stop." Rachel is begging loudly.
Quinn begins to move again, looking for the right spot inside her, wrapping her lips again around her clit. When she finds what she's looking for, she begins to move in and out, stroking the spot each time she sinks inside. She watches her squirm, her face flushed and her mouth open while she moans louder and louder.
Quinn suddenly pushes another finger into her and lets out a small gasp when she feels the walls of her sex tighten around her fingers. Rachel closes her eyes and Quinn begins to push faster and deeper, never ceasing to pass her tongue over Rachel's pulsing clit.
When she sees her arch on the mattress, Quinn pulls up along her body, burying her head on her neck, never stopping the movement of her hand.
"C'mon Rachel. Come for me." Quinn whispers, staring at the twitching body of the girl underneath her. "Let me remember this moment forever." She murmurs in her ear, biting her lobe weakly.
Rachel falls back, clawing at the sheets beneath her and her eyes widen, while the greatest pleasure she has ever felt in her entire life shakes her body violently. Her cries sound like music in Quinn's ears as she continues to push inside her, not willing to stop.
"Quinn, oh god, Quinn ..." Rachel gasps, her eyes widening as a second orgasm begins to swiping in her stomach.
It takes only a couple of thrusts down and the world explodes behind her eyes, making her breath lock in her throat in the middle of a loud cry. Rachel closes her eyes, falling on the bed, trembling, her chest that lifts and falls quickly to the rhythm of her breathing, while Quinn lifts to look at her.
She has unconsciously been waiting for this moment forever, now the awareness is taking place in her heart. She has always been in love with Rachel, for years. All the anguish, torment, betrayal, crushing on anybody without an end: all of this because of Rachel.
Fuck this, she thinks, fuck everything.
She'd never wanted to have her any other way, and now that they've made love, she wants something to hold onto when they're going to have nothing more, so she has to tell her.
"I love you." She simply said, finally giving a sound to these words that she's hold for so long into her heart.
Rachel slowly opens her eyes, even though her eyelids feel terribly heavy, finding herself staring at these green irises that look at her with complete adoration.
"Quinn-"
She is promptly blocked by a finger to her lips, which silences her immediately. Quinn smiles softly, stroking her cheek.
"You don't have to say anything." She murmurs. "I have no illusions this will happen again." She continues, bending down to kiss her forehead. "It started and ended here, I know, but I just wanted you to know."
Rachel looks at her intently and then smiles, opening her arms, causing Quinn to take refuge there, hiding her face in her neck.
"Rach?"
"Yes, Quinn?"
"Can we stay like this for a little?"
To this question there is no need to answer. Rachel hugs her and closes her eyes, and Morpheus holds her into his arms.