She's my girl she always has been, well in a way. I've never told her about these feelings I have harboured for her. I don't think I could handle the rejection, and I know it would come it would have to she is…A goddess, totally stunning beautiful beyond compare.

Every woman I've ever dated or had a random causal fling with doesn't hold a candle to her. But I'd never be able to capture her heart she's into more serious men, guys who want to settle down. What she doesn't know is that when I'm not around her I can be all the things she wants.

It's her that makes me act like that my brain goes to mush and every sensible thought flies off. I know I come off like a chauvinistic argent pig and I tend to hurt her feelings with what I say but what my heart wants to say is stopped by my brain or more the little voice in my head that sound so much like Gibbs "don't go breaking rule 12."

Then the comment that would get that smile the one I crave to see, need to see; the one that makes my day complete when I see it. Gets tossed aside and I say something that she glares at me for or she comes back with something as equally as hurtful.

And these men she dates when she come in with stories she tells Abby who then tells me. I feel like the stupidest guy on earth I really should kill that voice in my head and say what I really think, what I really want to say.

I look up my names just been called it's a karaoke night that Abby dragged us all to. As if that wasn't bad enough she put all our names down. Getting up I walk over to the stage on the screen in front of me is the song 'How do I live without you.' The music starts and then the words come on screen.

How do I get through one night without you
If I had to live without you
What kind of life would that be
Oh I, I need you in my arms
Need you to hold
You're my world, my heart, my soul

If you ever leave
Baby you would take away everything good in my life
And tell me now

How do I live without you
I want to know
How do I breathe without you
If you ever go
How do I ever, ever survive
How do I
How do I
Oh, how do I live

Without you, there'd be no sun in my sky
There would be no love in my life
There'd be no world left for me
And I, oh Baby, I don't know what I would do
I'd be lost if I lost you
I
f you ever leave
Baby you would take away everything real in my life
And tell me now

How do I live without you
I want to know
How do I breathe without you
If you ever go
How do I ever, ever survive
How do I
How do I
Oh, how do I live

Please tell me baby
How do I go on

If you ever leave
Baby you would take away everything
Need you with me
Baby don't you know that you're everything good in my life
And tell me now

How do I live without you
I want to know
How do I breathe without you
If you ever go
How do I ever, ever survive
How do I
How do I
Oh, how do I live

how do I live without you
how do I live without you baby
how do I live...

I look at the table that my friends are sitting at and know that I'm fighting a losing battle; she's sitting there like she didn't even know the song was for her. Talking away like it was some random guy singing.

I go and sit down and she doesn't even notice. Our friends did though; they look at me I can't take their looks so I come up with lame idiotic excuse to leave she says goodbye in the normal; mono tone she uses for me. I say another stupid snide remark which makes her roll her eyes. I walk away knowing that Abby's watching waiting for me to do something but I don't I just keep walking, out to my car I get in and drive away.

Home is the only place I can let every out, a tear rolls down my cheek I wipe it away and walk into my room, kicking off my shoes I strip down so I'm in my singlet and boxers and fall on my bed where I end up in a restless sleep.

Two weeks have past since that stupid karaoke night Abby's told me how stupid she feels and that I really should shave the nine o'clock shadow off my face and get some sleep cause the bags under my eyes aren't a good look for me.

I tell her it's the new me so she better get used to it. Sitting at my desk I don't even look up any more I sit there get and my work done. When Gibbs asks me something I answer when she teases me about not being my self I shrug and don't look up. One thing I found is that my head isn't as sore anymore, seeing Gibbs has no reason to hit me over the head.

After work I head to my car as I unlock it she turns me round and asks me what's wrong. I don't even look her in the eye when I tell her nothing using her full name. Turning around I hop in to my car but she grabs the door before I can close it.

She tells me to tell her the truth and to stop lying to her I look up tears welling in my eyes she looks shocked to see them there. "You are" I tell her looking her in the eyes "you're my problem, your blind you have that heart of yours so guarded that you can't even see when some ones trying to tell you something I like you ok I really like you but you've made it clear that your not interested so stop with all the nice comments, the smiles and everything your breaking my heart sending me mixed messages so I've made your mind up for you just co-workers ok that's all we are and that's all we'll ever be."

I push her away and close my door. Starting up my car I pull out of the NCIS parking lot I hear her screaming but I don't listen. Next thing I know everything goes black…

I open my eyes to find I'm in a completely dark room the only light comes from the moon outside, I feel something in my left hand I move my thumb up and down it to find out what it is… A hand but whose?

I hear a mumble so I do it again, this time the owner jumps up seeing it's so dark I can't see who it is. Till they come closer, it's her, it's my girl; my Katie. There are tears running down her face she does nothing just stands there, then she looks over at the other chair and taps some one I can't see who it is, but I know its Ab's the moment I hear her voice she jumps up and runs out a minute later there are doctors all around me.

They shine a light in my eyes which hurts and pull out what ever tubes were down my throat. I gasp as I take my first breath, when the doctors dissipate she's back at my side.

"Don't scare me like that again hear me Dinozzo" she sits on my bed and grabs my hand then she kisses it. All the while looking me in the eye I see tears running down her face. Lifting my free hand I wipe them away with my thumb she crumbles and lays down crying into my chest.

I wrap my arms around her and kiss her head telling her I'm here and I'm ok. She looks up at me and says to me that if I scare her like that again she'll kill me herself. I raise her head with my thumb and kiss her softly on the lips, she smiled before kissing me on the head and that's where we stay wrapped in each others arms. I smile I finally got the girl of my dreams all I had to was end up in hospital.