Stopped by Fear

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts.

Rating: M

Warnings: Slash

Set: pre-game.

Hey everyone! Nice to see you here. This is just a little fic, originally a 1 hour challenge which I chose to continue. This was my first try at writing fanfiction, I'm just re-doing it out of principle. Happy reading.

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Chapter One - Frolics

Riku was lying on the beach, listening to the waves lap gently at the shoreline. He was sitting with Sora, Tidus and Kairi, talking about the raft they were making - or more specifically, listening to Sora talk about it.

He has quite a mouth on him, Riku thought, a smile splitting across his face. He focused his ears on the beautiful sound emitting from his friends mouth. It was so cheerful. What would it feel like to hold something that acts like an embodiment of joy? Riku wondered.

He sat up and glanced around. Kairi was laughing at Sora, who was pretending to suffocate with his shirt over his head, revealing smooth, tanned stomach muscles. Riku stared at the light bronze perfection, wondering once more what it would feel like to hold the boy, to stroke those perfect muscles. Maybe some other muscles, Riku thought with a slight smirk on his face.

He wrenched his eyes away from Sora's stomach, willing his half-erection to go away. Thankfully it did, but only because he saw Tidus almost drooling over Sora. Riku's face twisted into a scowl. He didn't like Tidus being such a pervert on what he considered 'his Sora'. He was closest to Sora. It was his right!

He flicked his eyes back to his chocolate haired fantasy. Damn it, he thought when he saw Sora's shirt had fallen back down. There was something more worrying, though - Sora was looking at Tidus, with a knowing look in his eyes and a weirdly lustful look on his face. Riku's scowl was now tinged with despair. Surely not.

Kairi stood up.

"Well I don't know about you lot," she giggled, "but I'm going home," she declared, indicated the sinking sun. She brushed sand off herself and ran away laughing with calls of goodbye following her.

Riku looked at Sora and Tidus, who were still staring at each other. He sighed and stood up.

"What's up, Riku?" Sora asked, noticing the small sad noise that came from Riku.

"Nothing," Riku murmured. "I just, ah, thought I should be going home too," he finished. It was quite obvious that Sora wanted to be alone with Tidus.

"Ok, seeya!" Sora said, a little too quickly for Riku's liking.

"Yeah, bye Riku!" Tidus said, his eyes flicking between Riku and Sora. Riku looked at Sora, pure blue eyes meeting aquamarine ones. Riku could detect only friendship in them, and distraction, but he knew what that was from. For a moment he also thought he saw sadness, but when he looked closer, it was gone.

"Bye," he muttered, before walking off. He walked until he reached the nearest thing to hide behind: a stand of trees. He turned around and looked back at his cheerful one. He was sitting near Tidus, his hand tracing designs in the sand. Tidus said something, and Sora's rich goofy laugh reached Riku's ears, causing another sigh to escape from his clenched lips.

He briefly closed his eyes. Opening them, he saw that Sora's hands were now tracing designs on Tidus' stomach. Tidus had one of his hands on one of Sora's thighs, discreetly stroking it. Hot, bitter resentment and jealousy flickered through Riku's stomach. He watched angrily as Sora and Tidus stood up, running over to on of the various seaside shacks.

Oh no, Riku thought, this is not happening. He waited for a while, just to see if they would come out again. When it became apparent they would not, Riku walked over to the shack, keeping silently to any walls. He reached the shack and took a deep breath, thankful that the sun was now hidden, so he wouldn't be noticed by his shadow. He peered into the crack between the doors, already guessing what he would see from the sounds he could hear.

What he saw made him go hard very quickly. Sora and Tidus were both stripped down to their boxers. Sora had Tidus pushed up against the wall, rubbing his body against Tidus' and moaning softly. Tidus' mouth was all over Sora's face and neck, and Riku could see Tidus' hands in Sora's boxers feeling his ass. Riku clenched his teeth so hard his skull hurt, but he ignored the pain. Tidus' hands were now slipping around to the front of Sora's pants.

"Stop," came Sora's voice. Tidus whimpered in protest, but Sora kissed him hard on the neck and that shut him up. Sora's hands trailed down Tidus' body, down past his slender hips and onto the rim of his boxers. Sora knelt down and tugged off Tidus' boxers, revealing Tidus' small, thought Riku, rebelliously erection.

Sora was humming slightly as he lowered his mouth over it, and Tidus' gasped in pleasure and twined his fingers in Sora's chocolate-brown spikes. Riku held back a half-growl, half-sob, and turned away. He didn't want to see any more of this.

---

The next day, the four of them were down by the beach again after working on the raft all day. Sora was strangely quiet and Riku wondered why. He listened to Kairi talking and Tidus trying to get Sora's attention. Riku wondered why Sora seemed to be avoiding the other boy. They were all cozy yesterday, he thought bitterly.

Kairi stood up again and made her departure. Tidus sighed and did the same thing, obviously getting the point from Sora. He walked away with a sad face of a one night stander who thought it was something more.

Riku looked closely at Sora, who hadn't moved yet. Something's wrong...

"What's wrong, Sora?" he asked quickly, before he could stop himself.

"Huh?" Sora said. He looked up at Riku and then down at the ground again. "Nothing," he muttered.

"Bullshit, Sora that's exactly the same bullshit answer I gave you yesterday. Come on I thought we were supposed to be friends?" Riku said, not realising his mistake.

"So did I," Sora muttered, a faint blush creeping onto his cheeks. Riku looked at him and made up his mind quickly.

"Sora, I have a confession to make." he started. Sora looked up hopeful surprise filling his eyes. "I ... I saw you and Tidus in the shack yesterday," he said, looking guiltily at Sora. Sora jumped. This was obviously not what he wanted to hear.

"What!" he said. They looked at each other, blushed furiously and looked away. Riku still couldn't get how sexy he had looked out of his mind, even if he had been with Tidus.

After a few moments of silence Riku asked another question.

"Why?" he asked. Sora looked at him in confusion. "Why did you... well, you know. with Tidus?" he clarified, not being able to say it directly. He could hear the sadness in his own voice.

"I...I'm trying to forget." Sora muttered before standing up. They stared into each others eyes for a moment before Sora blurted "Seeya," and ran off, tears blurring his sight.

Riku sighed again, and a painful wrench in his stomach caused a tear to trickle down his face. The salty sweetness fell onto the corner of his lips, and his tongue instinctively wiped it away.

He stood up walked home.

8

They both sat in their respective rooms, thinking desperately of the other.

Both didn't have what they wanted, only because fear stopped them.

-- I won't go

I won't sleep

I can't breathe

Until you're resting here with me

I won't leave

I can't hide

I cannot be

Until you're resting here with me

--

Authors notes: god I was a silly romantic back then. Ah well, it wasn't as bad as I thought it was... all things considered, I DID warn that it was pre-game AU, and so everything makes sense, based on what we know pre-game. It's just a little shallow/hollow/insubstantial. Should I fill it out?

Please note that I wrote this when I was just starting to write, two years ago. Also, the next seven chapters were all written at that point in time as I haven't fixed them yet, so they suck. Thanks,

Snake