Title: Holo-Diary of Master Dooku

Genre: Humor, Angst, Drama, Adventure, etc

Timeline: 66 years before TPM to TPM

Characters: Master Dooku, Yoda, Qui-Gon, Jocasta, and others

Summary: Tionne Solusar has found a holo-recorder stashed away in the ruins of the Jedi Temple's living quarters while trying to salvage the lost knowledge of the Jedi. What she finds is the life of a Jedi Master before he had fallen.

Author's Notes: This diary is being written for the TFN Diary Challenge 2013. It will cover Count Dooku's life as a Jedi from age 4 to age 70. I've got a lot of entries already written since January when this was started on TFN. I'll post them once a week, hopefully every Thursday.

Here is the first entry. Enjoy!

Year Sixty-Six – Just Before Resignation

A hologram appears of an elderly Jedi Master. His hair is dark, streaked with gray and his brown eyes are tired. The hologram flickers as he adjusts something on an unseen control panel before he straightens his vestments and begins to speak in a baritone voice...

I am Yan Dooku, a Master in the fabled Order of the Jedi. I am also exactly seventy standard years and I am feeling every single one tonight. It has been a long time since I have recorded on this dusty old holorecorder, but I suppose it should not come as a surprise considering the life I have led for the last sixty some odd years with the Jedi. There simply was not the time to record down what was going on in my life, at least after I had become a Knight myself...

He pauses with a look of contemplation before continuing.

No, it was after Qui-Gon had become a Knight when I stopped recording on this thing as frequently as I had. It is ironic looking back, watching a frightened child growing into a man, wanting to go home and have nothing to do with the Jedi. Now I will finally have that chance to do what I wanted when I first came here. Except everyone that I had wanted to return to is long gone and all that remains is a family I do not even know.

He is quiet for a few moments. A sadness seems to briefly overcome him before he manages to school his features into a cold, stoic expression.

I have always wondered why I stayed once I had reached the legal age to decide for myself. I knew I could have left any time and rejoined my younger brother as the Count of Serenno. I could have left and pursued a wife and had a son of my own instead of standing here feeling empty from the loss of one I had considered my own. I could have enjoyed being an uncle to my nephew, Adan, instead of being that distant, eccentric relative that was a Jedi.

I suppose the reason I stayed was because it was what my parents had wanted for me. Strong as I was in the Living Force, my future would be with the Jedi and I would bring honor to our House by becoming one of the greatest masters that ever lived. That is what my father had told me when I had asked after my Knighting. I take that back, it was after I had taken Qui-Gon as my Padawan, he was priority over my own personal matters.

Qui-Gon.

A heavy sigh.

I told myself I would not mourn his loss and yet my thoughts continue to drift toward him. My padawan, the boy whom I had raised to adult and Knighthood had been murdered by our ancient enemies. He's the reason why I am recording on this blasted thing again. I wanted to remember him and yet I find myself looking back to the first days of my apprenticeship instead. Perhaps I want to find a reason to continue to stay before I make the decision to resign my commission tomorrow morning?

He lowers his head, struggling with an unseen conflict within him. He continues after a moment, a dark look in his eyes.

Without Qui-Gon being that one squall of defiance amidst the sea of complacency, I have no hope for the Jedi. They do not listen to me anymore. I have become too old and set in my ways to see things the Council does. Bah! They are the ones too set in their ways to see anything! Too complacent! Now that the Sith have returned, the Council will be the death of us all, mark my words!

Just like they were the death of my Padawan!

His fists ball up as a hidden temper rises with his words. He calms down and reaches for the unseen controls. The hologram flickers and disappears.

Year One - Day One

A hologram of a small boy with unruly hair and wearing the attire of a Jedi Initiate flickers to life. His tongue sticks out at the side as he tries to make the recorder work. He blinks once he realizes it is working and licks his palm to push back his hair and make it stick flat to his skull. One cow lick pops back up and he glares before turning his gaze to the recorder and speaks.

I want to go home, but the green alien tells me that I am home now. I know it is not. There is no ocean or roses in the garden I had been shown. It is noisy outside and there are so many strange beings. I am afraid.

I remember being given to the short alien whom my father, the Count, said was a Jedi Master. My mother hadn't been present and I do not understand why. I do not understand why I was taken away. Had I not been a good boy? Had I done something to anger my parents?

The alien tells me it is because I am special, like him and everyone else in the... the Temple I think is what he said this place was. That I have a gift and that he and a future master will help me learn how to use and help the galaxy. Helping others is something I understand. My father always told me that the 'Counts of Serenno do not cry or ask for help, we are born to help others.'

I did not cry when I was taken. At least I think I didn't. I know I wanted to. I also wanted my mother and my best friend, Mala, and bury my face and fingers in her fur as she gave me kisses in a caring way that only pets knew how.

But I refused to cry.

I also did not talk after we arrived.

Yoda said I would get use to my new family in time and learn to let go of my old one. I didn't want to. I still don't. He only smiled at me before handing me over to another alien, a female with striped horns rising from her skull and something like lekkus resting over her shoulders. I know what lekkus are. My father has a Twi'lek servant that keeps the garden. But this alien was not a Twi'lek.

She asked me my name and I said nothing. I refused to talk. Maybe if I prove more trouble than I am worth they would take me back to my real home?

To my real family.

The boy's lip quivers and his face darkens as he tries his best not to cry. He loses the battle and kicks the recorder away. The scene spins and a small bed appears as the sound of a child crying is heard in the background. Eventually the recorder shuts down after a minute of no motion.