At the time, I was but twelve years old. I had just began to hold attraction towards girls and there were times when I could not hold the feelings back. Regardless of who I met, or who fell head over heels for me, there was only one whom I had fallen in love with:
Diet Cherry Coke.
It was in the late summer on a hot, humid day. I played on the beach, building sand castles and digging up crabs, when my throat felt parched and my heart felt frail; I knew I needed a beverage to quench my thirst. I approached my mother and requested a single dollar, of which she provided, and I waddled my chubby body over to the Snack Shack. I approached the counter, rested my elbows onto it, and instantly made it collapse due to my immense weight. I was startled and embarrassed at what had just happened, but those emotions could not triumph my thirst.
The man behind the counter hesitantly asked "What would you like?". I was frozen in fear; I didn't know what I wanted. I simply wanted to quench my thirst, yet I had many options of beverages to select from. I stood, petrified, for a whole five minutes. I was only awoken when the man behind me yelled at me for taking too long. After five minutes of deep thought and seeing the weeping face of God, I decided to have a Coke. I told the man to retrieve said Coke. He looked into my eyes, shifted down to my abdomen, and then switched back to my eyes. I knew he was judging my chubby body. In fear of being mocked, I shouted "Diet!" as he opened the fridge. After he grabbed the Diet Coke and brought it to the broken counter, he looked at me and said, with a very snarky tone, "Will that be all?".
Again, I was petrified. I wasn't sure if I truly wanted a Diet Coke. Perhaps I should have asked for another flavoring such as vanilla. The only problem is that I'm allergic to vanilla, so I would've dropped, vomited, and made a bigger fool of myself. After a short timespan, I perked up and said "Could I get a cherry Diet Coke instead?". The man behind the counter looked frustrated beyond any reasonable measure. H returned the Diet Coke to the fridge, grabbed a diet cherry Coke, and approached the counter. He looked at me and said "That will be one dollar." I gracefully handed him the dollar, retrieved my diet cherry Coke, and sprinted to my mother, though I stopped seven times to take breathers, who was just a few yards away.
I sat on a towel next to her and looked at my diet cherry Coke. It looked delicious, even though I hadn't yet opened the can. My thirst was so great that I could not resist; I needed a quenching gulp of Diet Cherry Coke. I grabbed the tab, pulled it up, and opened the can. Ever since I heard that pop of the can and the following sizzle, I was in love; I found my soulmate. I proceeded to chug the can in a single gulp, and had a tingling sensation across my body. I needed more; I needed so much more. I took a few dollars from my mother's purse while she wasn't looking and proceeded to the Snack Shack to purchase more diet cherry Coke.
I used the money I had grabbed to buy forty-two cans of Diet Cherry Coke, and had a difficult time carrying them back to my towel. When I had my 42 cans of Diet Cherry Coke stacked, I grabbed one from the top, opened it, and drank it in a single gulp. This gulp was much greater than the previous one, and my affection towards Diet Cherry Coke grew stronger. I chugged ten more cans of Diet Cherry Coke before my stomach began to ache. The love in my stomach was too much for it to contain. I sprinted to the restrooms, stopping multiple times to breathe, and plopped my chubby body onto the toilet. Soon, bubbling-hot diarrhea spewed forth from my rear. The force and heat was too much for me to bear, and I screamed at the top of my lungs as my lover escaped my body. After I was finished, my throat and rear were aching, and the toilet was overflowed with my liquid butt love. I flushed the toiled thrice just to get it all out.
I sprinted back to my towel, again taking many breathers, only to find that someone stole five cans of my Diet Cherry Coke. I couldn't let anyone steal but one part of my lover. I looked over and saw some jocks carrying five cans of Diet Cherry Coke; I knew they were the thieves. I sprinted with all of my force, not even taking any breathers, and tackled them. They cried in agony as a 250 lbs boy fell upon them. I grabbed the Diet Cherry Coke, and ran back to my towel. I proceeded to chug all five of the Diet Cherry Cokes I had retrieved. After such, I noticed that five cans had fallen over into the sand, and that's when I realized: I had assaulted two guys and stolen their cherry Coke, and the ambulance had just come to pick them up.
I felt ashamed, and decided to grab my cherry coke and return to my hotel room, leaving my mom on the beach. When I got into the room, I put my diet cherry Cokes onto my bed and looked at them all. They were all so beautiful. I decided that it was time. I grabbed and opened all of my diet cherry Coke and dumped it into the bath tub. I reserved a few cans, but I nonetheless filled the tub ¾ full of diet cherry Coke. I stripped nude and slowly descended into my pool of love. By the time I sat my chubby rear onto the bottom, a gallon of diet cherry Coke had rushed over and onto the floor. I didn't mind such, and continued to soak in my love. I opened a can, and dumped it over my head and began to cleanse myself with the power of diet cherry Coke.
After twenty minutes in the love bath, my puberty instincts kicked in, and I felt unusually attracted to the diet cherry Coke. I wanted to fall in love with Diet Cherry Coke even more. I grabbed one of the cans, opened it, removed the tab, and grabbed my penis. I stuck my penis into the can, and began moving the can on my shaft. After only a few seconds, the skin tore and blood began to run into my love bath. Diet cherry Coke entered the wounds and began to burn, burning to the point of tears. Crying, I jumped out of the bath and slipped on the floor. When I hit the floor, I had been knocked unconscious.
A few days later, I woke up in the hospital. The doctor and my mother peered at me in surprise, as if they thought that I had no hope of surviving. My mother hugged me with all of her force, telling me that she was so worried that I wouldn't wake up. A few seconds later, she slapped and left a dark, red handprint on my chubby cheek. She yelled and ranted on how I spent $42 on cherry Coke without her permission, she owed the hotel hundreds of dollars worth in damages, and I tried to masturbate with a Coke can. She was furious. The doctor had escaped the room after she slapped me, wanting to be safe and avoid her. My mother was still yelling and ranting to me an hour after I had woken up; it felt like an eternity.
After I had been released, we headed home from our vacation, but I was grounded for a month. Even after she ranted and yelled at me, my love for diet cherry Coke never ceased, and I frequently bathe in it. There will be no woman whom I love more, and whom loves me more, than Diet Cherry Coke.