Disclaimer: If its Naruto, I don't own it. If someone else owns it, I definitely don't own it.
Warning: OCs OOCs Sues, and some crack. You have been warned.
Note: AU.
Note #2: Read Lost if you want something more serious.
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Screw It
Chapter One
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"Holy Shit!" one of the combatants shouted as he narrowly dodged an incoming projectile.
"Stand still and die already!" his opponent shouted in aggravation.
"No way in hell asshole!" the dodging combatant shouted in reply.
"Kuchiyose no Jutsu!" the other shouted as he slammed his palms down on the ground, the summon that appeared had thirty six tails swinging freely behind the rest of its body, it also had eight heads, eight different animals, the body the same, it sported a solid black coat, akin to that of the void.
"Kill that puny mortal!" its summoner ordered.
"Shit! Gotta run! Gotta run! Gotta run! Gotta run!" said mortal said repeatedly as he ran this way and that way on the barren battlefield that had drank the blood of many.
The running warrior was clothed only in his boxers, the rest of his wardrobe having been incinerated by the constant attacks of his nigh immortal adversary. His adversary being none other than Uchiha Madara, weilder of the ULTIMATE Sharingan, too bad the bastard only had it in one eye, the other one being in the possession of his opponent. The Uchiha's opponent was none other than Uzumaki Naruto, reknown prankster, and permanent genin, permanent since he kept missing the advancement exams, and the like, that and his village had already been decimated thanks to the combined effort of his present opponent, and the Rokudaime Hokage. He had been fighting for the survival of the rest of the world for the last two weeks, by every passing day that he fought, he didn't realize that his efforts were in vain, or maybe he had already realized this.
"Hey! Ya one-eyed freak! Before the world turns to dust, I'm taking you out!" Naruto shouted.
"When you are gone, the world will be mine to do as I please!" Madara said, lost in his own little world, unaware of the reality of their situation.
"We're the last two people in the world, and you still want to rule it?! What kinda nut job are you?" Naruto shouted as he once again narrowly missed an attack, or several.
"Die! Already!" Madara shouted from atop his summoned monster.
"Hey Dara-chan!"
"WHAT?"
"CATCH!" Naruto shouted as he flung Rasenshurikens at Madara, one after the other, the summon in an attempt to defend its summoner lost a few limbs, and tails while defending.
"SHI..!" was all Madara could say before he was cut into thousands of tiny little pieces, due to being hit by multiple Rasenshuriken.
Naruto after seeing his opponent finally defeated, plopped down on the ground, and unsealed from his boxers a steaming bowl of miso ramen and some chopsticks.
"Itadaikimasu!" he said before eating his meal, the first in weeks, the Uchiha's summoned monster remaining behind after the death of its summoner for some reason.
"So," Naruto said between bites, "Why're you still here?"
Instead of replying the massive beast exploded into chakra and smashed itself into Naruto, almost causing the ramen to spill, almost. Just as Naruto was about to take another bite of what he believed to be the FOOD OF THE GODS, he heard nine voices shout in his head.
'I DON'T WANT TO DIE!'
'Que sera, sera, whatever will be, will be, the future's not ours to see, que sera, sera...' Naruto sang in response, it was not like he could stop the world from ending. As he finally finished his last bowl of ramen in this life, he turned toward the sunset, and indeed it was setting. As the sun dropped out of sight, the world was covered in darkness, then there was nothing.
In the darkness a light suddenly shone, the light kept getting brighter and brighter, until everything as far as the eye can see was white. There was a single figure in the middle of all of it, he sat on the ground in his boxers beside an empty ramen bowl and a pair of chopsticks. Before Naruto could comprehend where he was, and realize the fact that he should be dead and possibly in hell seeing as he was in a completely white void with an empty bowl for company, another figure suddenly blinked into existence, Naruto literally blinked. From where once there was only him, there was now someone else accompanying him in hell.
"So..you hate hospitals too?" Naruto asked.
"Yep, but that's not why we're here," the other figure said, his features were indescribable, which made Naruto's brain a little fuzzy, every second that passed, it seemed as if he saw the figure for the very first time.
"So...uh...?" Naruto said.
"Right then, down to business I guess, unless you want to stay in your personal hell for a little bit longer?"
"Down to business."
"Great, first off, we ran out of space in limbo, heaven is out of the question, and hell was the only place that had free space. So," some folders appeared in his hands, and he shuffled through the pages, "Since you lived such a stellar life, the higher ups have decided to send you to another world, I mean fate and destiny made most of your life shit, but what a great ending no?"
"Yeah.."
"Getting back on track. Let's see," the figure looked through some more pages within the folders, "Aha! Found it!"
"Whatcha find Fushigi-sama?"
"Fushigi? Ah right, forgot to introduce myself, not that it really matters, so just refer to me as what you have dubbed me."
"Hai, Fushigi-sama," Naruto said.
"The higher ups have sent out an order to send you to a world very much like your own, in that world the one known as Uchiha Madara died after sending the Kyuubi to Konoha. The higher ups are sending you to that world, where you will assume the identity of Uchiha Madara. In short you will be Uchiha Madara, no longer Namikaze Uzumaki Naruto. Everything that you have attained in your rather short and awesome life you will keep, meaning memories, abilities, jutsu knowledge, the works!"
"Okay...what's the catch?"
"I'll get to that in a minute, you will also be granted some additional abilities, powers, and the like, one such thing would be that you gain what Uchiha Madara are known to love, Immortality, the only way you will be able to die, is if the world ends again."
"The catch?"
"Oh, right, uhm..let me see," the figure shuffled through the folders and sheaves of paper again, "Aha! The catch is that fate and destiny are your bitches, do with the world as you wish, just provide some entertainment for the higher ups, also DON'T let the world end. GOT IT?"
"HAI!" Naruto shouted complete with salute.
"As for the nine voices in your head, they will be your summons, as well as your servants, but they will reside in Makai, the Makai that they rule in, technically thats most of the Makai's that are in existence, but what the hey, right?" he didn't wait for a response, "Right. Simply put you are Kami, or something like that, start a religion, a cult, whatever, have fun, higher ups bless you, goodnight!"
After the last world was said Naruto felt a searing pain race all over his very being, all the way to his very soul, then it suddenly stopped. In front of him stood four animals, they were the Bijuu, they were his summons and servants. They each bowed to him, Kyuubi saluting in the same manner as Naruto had to the figure, then they all disappeared. Just like that, no smoke, swirling whatever, nothing, not even a sound like a pop or sometihng. That was when everything started to bleed black, Naruto's vision started to get fuzzy, and he started to feel light headed. Then nothingness claimed him once more.
The next thing he knew, Naruto had found himself standing on top of one of the statues at the Valley of the End, specifically he was standing on the head of the statue of himself, he was no longer Naruto, but Uchiha Madara.
'This is going to take some getting used to...'