Ma.

Come back.

We don't know where you are or even if you're are… safe.

We tried to reach you. Not at first. At first we wanted to, but we were discussing about it and thought that you had gone away because you needed your space. And Grandpa said we should respect that. Nobody really liked the idea because we just wanted to check and know for sure if you were all right, but he said "I'm not using this to force my will upon my daughter", referring to the dagger, the dagger that has your name on it now, Ma, so everyone looked down and agreed to wait.

But we waited and you didn't come back. And one day Grandma used the dagger and it didn't work.

Nobody told us they were doing it. Mom found out, somehow. She came home one day and sat beside me and I knew it was bad news just by the look in her eyes. She told me: "They have tried with the dagger, Henry." I didn't need to ask whether you had answered to their call. Instead, I said: "Did you know?" And Mom looked down and said that Grandma had decided it on her own, but she wasn't looking at me so I knew there was something else so I insisted. "They warned Hook and asked the Blue Fairy for help."

My voice was so weak, Ma, when I asked why they hadn't warned us.

I lost it, Ma. I'm so ashamed now, because that's not the type of reaction to be expected from a hero but my head was filled with red rage and screams of "how dare they, I'm her son".

Mom held me tight and started crying and saying "I'm sorry, Henry, it's all my fault." And I felt terrible. We stayed hugging and crying for a long while.

It's not Mom's fault. I wish she knew that. If anything… I can't help regretting the moment I broke that pen. How could I be that naïve, that stupid? So sure we all were gonna do just fine? I just wanted to prove that I'm strong and better and that I wouldn't use those powers for my benefit. But I would now, Ma. I would have brought you in a heartbeat and written whatever you asked me to, if it helped you feeling better.

But I'm useless. Everybody and everything is. I don't know why the dagger wouldn't be of any use to bring you here. Maybe you are somewhere out of its reach or something. I don't know. But I know you are the only one who can do this, now.

So, please, do it. Why haven't you come to us yet? I hope you're ok.

I think you might be afraid. Afraid that we get scared of you or of hurting us. And I totally get that, Ma, I really do. But we are your family. This is your home. And we will never, NEVER reject you.

I know all of you think I'm a kid and that there are so many things that I don't understand or that I couldn't deal with. But you're wrong. I know this darkness has changed you, Ma. But you have to believe me, I don't care. We are never the same person for a long time, anyway. I have changed. Mom has changed. We are constantly changing. You too. Since I met you, you have changed too, and it doesn't matter at all, 'cause you are still you.

Just think about how much Belle loved Mr. Gold even with his darkness. She said to me she loved this darkness too because it was a part of him. I will love you more than Belle ever loved Mr. Gold.

I had this absurd idea about how good and evil were separate and opposite (Mom calls it "manichean"). I learnt, tho. Being a hero is not being good and away from evil. Being a hero is dealing with the evil parts inside you and fighting to be a better person and staying strong for the people you love. Like Mom did. She's a true hero. And so are you, Ma. Because you did it to save her. Not just because of that, but, yeah, we think about that a lot.

Not that Mom says much these days. But I can tell she's always thinking about it. About you. About bringing you back, but also about what you did and why. I heard her saying to Grandma she wasn't worthy of your sacrifice, once. I know your intentions were good, but that wasn't the best of your ideas. Did you truly think that Mom would be relieved that this has happened to you instead of her?

I'm not blaming you! I know you had your reasons. You just have to understand that we need you so badly. And that we'll be ok with the Emma you are now.

Just come back, ok? Just… just be here. We'll figure it out.