Well hi there. :)
Sooo, I went on a summer hiatus, partly because I was feeling very drained after the end of S3. But anyway, now I'm back. This is just a random little oneshot I wrote to try to get back into writing.
Disclaimer: TVD does not belong to me.
The fallout is immediate. The second he grabs Matt instead of Elena, he knows that this changes everything. The fallout from his actions will be immense. No one will be left unscathed because of his choice.
But no matter what he chose he was going to have to deal with that. At the end of the day, he couldn't save them both.
Maybe if he hadn't argued with Elena… Maybe if he'd just grabbed her and gone… Should have, Could have, Would have: it's all so easy in the past tense.
Jeremy finds out first. He races to find them, only to be turned away and sent to Matt's side instead of his sisters, where he should be.
He knows she's in transition. He knows what that means. Not so long ago this was all he wanted for himself.
He never wanted it for her.
Elena is good. She's made mistakes, but she is essentially good in a way that most of them aren't. Most of them have been twisted and warped by their crazy lives, but Elena hasn't. Elena, of all people, shouldn't have to deal with this, too.
She's his sister. He's supposed to protect her from things. He can't stop playing the "what if's" over and over again in his mind. Would things have happened differently if he and Matt hadn't done what they did, or was Rebekah so hell-bent on this that it didn't matter?
As he pulls into his driveway he sees the outlines of people standing in his house. Shaking his head, he realizes he can't do this. He just can't.
And he drives.
Bonnie finds out second.
She can't believe her ears as she listens to Stefan explain in short, clipped sentences.
Nononononononononono.
She doesn't know who she hates the most, because at this point she basically hates them all. Even Stefan, who she knows never meant to hurt them. She hates all of them.
She doesn't want this. She doesn't want to be stuck in the middle, in this never-ending power play between the "good" vampires and the originals. She doesn't want to be the one they both go to when they need a spell cast. She's sick of being their pawn. She's so sick of it.
She's done with it. She's done with them.
What she does next will be for Elena, and for no one else.
She will not be their pawn anymore. She is done with this.
And she hates.
Caroline finds out next, sinking to the floor and sobbing as Stefan explains it to her.
All she can think is how wrong this is. How wrong everything is.
She curses Rebekah for doing this, swears to herself that if she ever sees her again she will claw Rebekah's eyes out.
All she can think about is how it wasn't supposed to be like this. She wasn't supposed to feel like this. She and Elena and Bonnie were supposed to graduate and go to college together. They were supposed to go to parties, and meet cute boys, and cram for finals together. They were supposed to grow up, get married, have kids, and then force their kids to be best friends.
She and Elena weren't supposed to be vampires. Bonnie wasn't supposed to be a witch.
It wasn't supposed to be like this.
But if she and Bonnie couldn't have it, Elena was supposed to get it. Elena was supposed to have a house and a white picket fence and 2.5 kids and all the things that came with a normal life, because Elena was the one who wanted it most.
The pain of everything Elena has lost, magnified through the pain of everything Caroline has lost, hits her.
And she screams.
Matt wakes up, gasping and spluttering, to the news that Elena is in-transition. To the news that she gave up everything she wanted for everything she didn't, just to keep him alive.
He doesn't believe it as Jeremy tells it to him. This can't be right.
He doesn't have that much to live for, but Elena does. If one of them had to die it should have been him. His sister is dead, his mom isn't around… People would miss him but they would get over it.
Elena had Jeremy. Elena was supposed to live for Jeremy.
Elena was not supposed to die for Matt.
He sits there and the guilt crushes him, because there are so many little things he could have done to stop this. He could have changed this. He could have saved her, he knows it.
And he hurts.
Damon slams back drink after drink, barely pausing to breath. His only goal is to get as hammered as he possibly can and to forget. He wants to forget everything. His name, her name, everything that's ever happened to him…
He doesn't want to remember any of it.
Only when he's thoroughly drunk does he allow himself to pause even for a second to feel anything, because he feels so much.
He feels too much.
He can't believe what Stefan did. What kind of a moron is he to leave Elena in favor of rescuing Matt? Screw Elena's choices! Sometimes people need to be rescued from their own bad decisions.
Mostly, though, he is filled with regret. He knows the chances are slim, but he still hoped that someday Elena would choose him. Today was an end, not THE end.
Now there would never be that trust of her being a human and him being a vampire.
So he slams back drink after drink. Long past the point of where any human would have died from alcohol poisoning, his mind finally starts to get fuzzy, until he can barely remember his own name.
And he forgets.
Stefan ponders his decision. Maybe Damon is right. Maybe sometimes not getting to make your own choices is a good thing. Because where has this gotten him?
It is his fault Elena is the only thing she never wanted to be.
Ultimately he knows the blame lies with him. He could have saved her. He should have saved her. Anything, even her hating him, would be better than this hell. This knowledge that it is all. His. Fault.
He is responsible. He is guilty.
That feeling of guilt overwhelms him, dragging him under.
And he drowns.
She wakes up much like Matt does, coughing and spluttering. At first she is happy, because somehow Stefan saved them both. She has been given another chance.
Then she finds out the truth.
Slowly, she watches the future she had envisioned for herself slip away from her. Everything she wants, everything she has ever wanted, gone in the blink of an eye.
No.
She shakes her head back and forth, back and forth, as if denying it will change something. She can't live through this anymore. She doesn't feel strong enough to do this. She cannot do this. She cannot be this.
And she falls apart.
Soooo... Let me know what you thought? :)