you don't share fries with strangers
summary:
a swan queen story, set a month after 5x21. emma is an echo of her former self, and after an innocent dinner sparks a whole lot of jealousy, regina concocts the perfect plan to restore the blonde to her irritating glory. featuring henry, his grandparents, and the female dating pool of storybrooke. rating subject to change with later chapters.
BREAK
Regina swept her eyes around the elaborate room one more time. Her office, soon to be dust. The demolition hadn't been her idea, but she'd be lying if she didn't admit some relief at the decision. While she was no stranger to witnessing the deaths of those closest to her, the death of her boyfriend, a month ago now, tore at her heart in a way she'd rather not be constantly reminded of. What the rest of Storybrooke didn't know was that the tearing was largely that of guilt, rather than loss. Guilt that she hadn't loved him enough, that she didn't miss him enough, that she might not have done the same for him. Of course, she consoled herself, she would have done something far cleverer which resulted in neither of them dying, like pushed him out of the way. But that didn't mean she loved him. It just meant she was a decent human being.
Well, mostly. Halfway decent, perhaps. Not entirely vile. Any more.
She waved her hand and the boxes of belongings she'd collected floated into the air and out of the door. City hall had been temporarily relocated to the convent, since the fairies didn't actually use it as a convent any more anyway. Regina felt queasy at the idea of them flapping about in her mayoral business, but at least she would be Mayor again - Snow White and Blue had united against her (not for the first time, she had repeatedly reminded them) and forced her to take several weeks personal leave. Regina supposed it hadn't been that bad, she'd spent most of the time with Henry when he wasn't at school and they were closer even than during Operation Mongoose. Speak of the angel-
Mom, are you still inside?
Just coming, dear. Where are you?
Waiting…
Regina hurried out of the building to find Henry looking amusedly at the boxes sailing off down the street.
"Are they going to tip themselves out over Blue's head?" he asked, smirking.
"That is a fantastic idea. Next time, perhaps. I fear I must be on my best behaviour if I want to be allowed to return to my job."
Regina gave Henry a hug and they walked over to the car.
"How was school?"
"I'll tell you in a minute. Why do you have to be on your best behaviour? You haven't done anything wrong."
"No, but if I show even the slightest sign of emotional instability, you know your grandmother, she'll likely force me to spend another month being paid to sit around and do nothing, while you are at school," she added pointedly, wanting to make it clear she appreciated the extra time with him.
"It's okay, Mom, I know you're getting bored. It is nice to see more of you, though. There's always some disaster. But I guess that comes with the territory."
"The territory of having a former Evil Queen for a mother?"
Henry chuckled. "No, the territory of both my moms being powerful, badass sorceresses. Although I am a bit worried about Emma lately…"
Regina resisted the urge to give him a kiss for being so lovely, and wondered how to deal with the Emma issue.
"I think… I think Emma is… I think it would be good if all three of us sat down and had a talk soon. But I don't think we should talk about her behind her back. That's not fair, and I know I used to hate it when I thought you talked to her about your problems with me."
Henry nodded, understanding the parallels. "I'm sorry about that-"
"There's no need to apologise, love. I was evil, then, and I deserved the discomfort. But Emma is not, and does not. Now, you still owe me an account of your day!"
Henry rolled his eyes, but secretly liked that his mother was so interested. It was far better than the alternative; grey, blank stares and drifting attention.
"...and I got an A on my math test," he finished gleefully.
"An A! Oh Henry, that's wonderful." Henry had never been particularly gifted at math and missing so much school hadn't helped matters, but not much could stop him when he was determined. Regina was very pleased he had chosen to be determined about his report card this semester.
Henry smiled the special smile he used when he wanted something. Regina wondered why he'd left the test result until last…
"Tell me what you want, dear. At least that way you have some chance of getting it."
Henry grinned more naturally. "Well, it's been a while since we ate at Granny's… I was wondering, since I got an A, if we could maybe go there for dinner?"
Regina shook her head at his wheedling tone. In truth, she had been avoiding the diner, or rather, the people in it. Pity had never been something she could stomach, even when she was forced to marry Leopold. She took her pain with her head held high and defied anyone to express sympathy for her.
"Yes, we can go," she decided. It had been long enough. She was the Mayor, she had to live in her town. "But Henry, it's not because you got an A. The reward is for your hard work, not the result."
He made a face. "You mean you would have taken me even if I'd gotten a D?"
Regina laughed. "If you had worked as hard as you could. So, probably not."
"But on principle, yes?"
Regina rolled her eyes. "Yes. Do you want to go now?"
"Yes please! Can I get milkshake?"
Regina turned the car. He might be a teenager but he was definitely still a child.
"A small one."
"Chocolate?"
"If you must."
"Can I dip my fries in it?"
Regina cackled. "Not if I catch you."
"What if I give you some?"
Regina never ordered fries for herself, but she often snaffled several of Henry's or, in the days when they'd still eaten together, Emma's.
"Are they really nice, dipped in that sugary sludge?"
She was driving towards Granny's now, along main street.
"Yeah," Henry said, looking out of the window at the shops they were passing. Several were still in a state of disrepair; the town had not prospered in the absence of its leaders. "I mean, ketchup actually has a lot of sugar in too."
"It does?"
"Uhuh. Most condiments do."
"Well, you learn something new every day. We did not have condiments like that in the enchanted forest. And when I was a child I was not allowed to drink milk, let alone shaken milk."
"Why weren't you allowed milk? Didn't they have cows?"
Regina laughed. "They had cows. But milk was considered a peasant's drink, and fattening besides."
"You should've told them it's good for your teeth and bones, and that consuming fat is fine as long as it's part of a healthy diet and active lifestyle."
"This modern world… But you're right, of course. And if I had known, I would have told them."
"I'm glad you came here instead. I don't think I would've liked growing up there."
Regina had to agree. She was very glad she had raised her child in this realm, not least because of washing machines and disposable diapers.
They reached the diner. Regina parked, noticing a familiar yellow bug also stationary at the side of the road. She wasn't sure if she wanted to meet Emma or not. Oh, Gods, perhaps she was on a date. At least she was with Henry, so it wouldn't be too bad.
They walked in, the tinkle of the bell announcing their presence to the entire room and ensuring every head turned to see them. Regina smiled her public smile, Henry ducked half behind her, and Mulan, the latest addition to the diner's staff now that Ruby was living in Oz with Dorothy, seemed to notice Regina's desire for some semblance of privacy and motioned for them to sit in the last available booth.
She followed them over there, which Regina found odd, but it was explained as soon as they sat down.
"My shift's about to finish," Mulan said as she wiped the tabletop, respecting Regina's fondness for over-cleanliness, "but Nova really hasn't got the hang of things yet. I can take your order now and make sure it gets to the kitchen correctly, although I can't promise she won't drop it on you when she brings it out."
Regina wondered what had earned them the special treatment, though she had a sneaking suspicion it had to do with the continuing belief throughout the town that she was some kind of grief stricken mess who would explode (and potentially turn full on Evil Queen) at the slightest mishap.
"Thank you, but don't worry. I am sure Nova will be fine," Regina said stiffly.
"If you say so," Mulan replied, a little surprised.
"That tone is unnecessary. I appreciate your kindness but I do not require special treatment because of… Because of what happened a month ago. We are doing very well."
Henry was staring intently at his phone, his cheeks reddening at his mother's behaviour. He liked Mulan - couldn't his mom just have taken her offer at face value? But that wouldn't have been Regina Mills…
"I didn't offer because of that!" Mulan exclaimed rather emphatically. "Honestly, I would have made the same offer to anyone. She's a lovely girl- fairy- woman- person but she's a terrible waitress and I wouldn't wish her order scrambling on anyone."
Regina blushed a little. "Oh… I apologise, then. I misunderstood."
Henry cleared his throat. Regina raised an eyebrow, not understanding. He kicked her under the table, looking pointedly at Mulan.
"Er, thank you very much," Regina said to the waitress, who was trying not to laugh.
Henry kicked his mom again, harder.
"Ow! Henry, please just tell me what you want me to do."
Henry rolled his eyes, then had a brainwave. He took out his phone. Regina was baffled. Mulan watched them, not bothering to hide her amusement any more.
Ask her to eat with us!
Why?
Because you were really rude to her and she doesn't know anyone very well and she's just gonna go upstairs, alone, to hang out in Ruby's room.
"How do you know that?" Regina blurted out loud.
"I just do! Mom."
Regina sighed.
"Mulan, my son and I were wondering if you would like to eat dinner with us. On me, of course."
"Really? I would never have guessed," Mulan teased, sitting down beside Henry, who had already moved over. "I'd love to, thank you. You've missed your chance to have me do your order, though. We're officially on Nova's time. Another warning, it's… Slow."
Regina chuckled. She liked the warrior woman. Mulan was good looking, too. In place of Ruby's frankly vulgar (though deliciously appealing if you liked that sort of thing) take on the uniform, Mulan wore a sheer red blouse over black skinny jeans and boots. Ignoring the other jeans-boots combo that sprang to mind, the outfit was attractive yet unassuming, and Regina enjoyed it.
Mulan shared some funny stories of the day, then helped translate their order into Nova. When Henry told her about Regina's relationship with fries, Mulan grinned and ordered a large portion for herself.
As they waited (37 minutes) for Nova to bring their drinks, Regina realised that it actually felt good to be in the company of someone outside her immediate family. Perhaps she'd been overly cautious… No one was staring at them, those she'd greeted seemed friendly but not simpering or patronising, and Mulan was fun. She had a spark to her, a twinkle in her eyes, that settled Regina - she felt her expression relax; tension seeped from her shoulders and smiles came more and more easily as she enjoyed her haphazard meal and even tried a milkshake coated french fry.
She was mid-bite, in fact, when a broody shadow was cast over their table by none other than her previous source for fried, potatoey goodness, Miss Emma Swan.
"Oh, hey, Regina. I didn't think I'd see you in here."
"Heny and I are celebrating his hard work catching up at school, and we asked Mulan to join us."
"For the fries?" Emma asked a little snippily. She didn't know why she didn't like the idea of Regina eating someone else's fries, she just didn't. Mulan wasn't family, she wasn't even Regina's friend so far as Emma knew. So why was she sitting here, happy as you like, feeding Regina fries as if she'd been doing it for years? Regina ate Emma's fries. Or Henry's, but he was their son, that was allowed. Mulan was a stranger, you didn't just share fries with strangers.
"Emma, are you alright? You seem upset?"
"Oh, yeah, I'm fine, sorry. I just got lost in thought."
Emma gave herself a shake. She liked Mulan, they'd worked well together back when oh yeah she'd dived into a portal saving Regina's ass from that dementor thing and yet Regina had the gall to, right in front of Emma's nose, take another fry and dip it into Henry's milkshake. Emma had never been able to persuade her to do that! What was going on that she could suddenly dip her fries? Next thing you know she'd be ordering her own.
"A lot to think about?" Regina quipped. Emma would have returned with a witty comeback but she couldn't think of one.
"I'm meeting Killian in five, we're gonna, uh, eat."
"Since you are in a diner, that would make sense. Mulan advises extreme caution regarding the complexities of your order - the waitress is new."
"Oh, does she?" Emma asked, without really thinking.
"Is there a problem?" Regina replied, catching Emma's snide tone. What was up with her these days? Regina liked to consider Miss Swan a worthy and fascinating opponent (and friend) but recently she'd been… dull.
"No. Sorry, I'll just go." Emma turned to leave.
"Wait, Ma!"
She realised, with horror, that she'd been so preoccupied with Regina's choice of dinner companion that she had barely said hello to her son.
"Sorry, Henry. I was somewhere else."
"That's okay. I wanted to tell you, I got an A on my math test!"
"Hey, that's great, kid! Seriously, I'm proud of you."
Regina watched Emma's eyes with curiosity. Even when she spoke to Henry, while they lit up a little, they were still dim, only an echo of the lively character she had once been. Regina decided to text her later (she originally thought call but if she was on a date with the pirate Regina would much rather not interrupt whatever they did behind closed doors) and invite her to the park with Henry on Saturday. They could take a walk and hopefully, manage a decent conversation.
Emma exchanged a few more words with Henry, then Killian appeared and she left to sit with him. Mulan brushed off the bizarre exchange (or lack of exchange, where she was concerned) with the saviour. She was beginning to wonder, though, if perhaps the title needed a "former" in front of it.