Storge

The ringtone distorted the calm Saeran made around himself. He barely recognised it at first… until it rang clear and persistently in his pocket. He opened his eyes with reluctance. Glancing up at the sky, he asked the clouds why the world was hell bent on breaking his peace. It was tempting to ignore it, but it could be Saeyoung calling. The last time Saeran ignored his call he persisted until Saeran answered. Questions shot out of Saeyoung like a bullet: how was he? Where was he? Was he okay? Was he happy? Was he safe? Saeran remembered his voice being high, rushed, stressed in a way that made him feel pain in his chest.

After that he just answered every time his brother reached out to him.

He retrieved the phone. It wasn't Saeyoung's name on the caller ID. But it was close enough.

"Saeran!" Lux's singsong voice floated from the speaker. "Let's play a game."

The way she talked sounded as if every sentence ended with a heart or tilde. Saeyoung's much the same. It was a wonder that such people existed in real life. "A… game?"

"The 'spot the cute redhead sitting in the park' game!"

"What—"

He felt a gentle poke on his cheek. "I win."

Saeran sighed and ended the call. "Do you even know how games work?"

"LOLOL counts, right?" she sat next to him and beamed when he looked at her. She did that often… smiling. There was never a day when she didn't smile. Even after knowing that he was the one who made her and her beloved RFA suffer, she still smiled at him. Was that even normal for a person? "How are you today?"

"I'm okay."

"Yeah?"

She was staring at him. He held her gaze. "I am."

"Good," she chuckled and looked at the sky. "Today's weather is good, isn't it? The sky's the bluest I've ever seen in a while! I was thinking… oh, Saeran would love to paint that."

"I… never noticed." Did she really think of such things? Why would she think about him? She must have something more important than him to think about. He appraised her before looking up at the sky too. "Now that you mentioned it, though…"

"Right? Let's take a photo!"

"I don't need it."

"You never know. The sky's such a unique colour."

"Whatever," he sighed and watched her take photos. She tilted her phone this way and that, fiddling with the zoom and focus to get the best image possible. When he was younger, in the rare days V and Rika picked him up, he'd get to see V do the same things. He'd put that complicated camera of his in weird positions to get the photo he wanted. At times, to Saeran and Rika's amusement, he would put himself in silly positions—lie on the ground or dangle from tree branches—to capture that perfect moment.

"What do you think?"

She shoved the phone underneath his nose. Saeran leaned back, lowering her wrist to a safer height, and flicked through the images. Some were in strange angles, some had either the sky or the park cut off. However, toward the end of the line-up was a photo that showed the perfect amount of both. From the top it looked like a never ending cascade of blue. However, as his eyes continued to travel down the sky was greeted by an expanse of green with smatterings of vibrant reds, purples, and yellows with the fountain in the middle as if to hold sky and land together.

"This," Saeran said, showing the photo to her.

"Oh, nice! This one's my favourite!"

He narrowed his eyes at her. "Do you really think that?"

"Of course."

"And if I picked something you didn't like?"

"… I would tell you that I didn't like it."

The pause she took before answering spoke volumes. So did the way her smile turned just a bit sheepish. He sighed. This one was too easy to read. He thought the same thing the first time they spoke, though they had a chatroom between them. At least Saeyoung provided some challenge. But he supposed her kind of openness was what changed his brother. "You're an idiot."

Lux chuckled, defeated, and bowed her head. "Yes."

"I hate liars the most."

"Understood, sir, sorry."

Saeran frowned. "What's with the 'sir'?"

Suddenly, she straightened and looked him in the eyes. "Okay, so I do like the ones with the strange angles more, but the one you picked was my favourite too, honest!"

"Fine." He returned the phone to her. "I'm sticking with my choice."

"As you should," she laughed and glanced at her watch. "Shall we go? Let's pick up your supplies before we go to lunch."

He stared at her as she rose. The conversation was over. He took his stance, told her about it, and she accepted it. Just like that. Because that's the way it should be. It's been eight months since Magenta… but it was still a novel thing, how people easily accepted his words and actions and who he was as a person. They opened their arms to him, embraced him without criticism—but with condition. That condition being that he didn't hurt himself or leave this world. They wanted him to stay—stay and be happy.

Living with such attitudes, going forward seemed easier nowadays.

Sometimes, though…

"Saeran?"

Lux held her hand out to him. He stared at it before taking it. "Let's go."

"Welcome—oh, you're back!"

"Hello again." Lux waved at the shopkeeper with a bright smile. Saeran followed her without a word of greeting. The shopkeeper walked into the back as they approached the counter. There were some pamphlets for upcoming exhibitions on display. Saeran inspected them and pocketed a few. Would he have a chance to hold an exhibition one day? Would the world appreciate who he was, what talent and skill he possessed? It would be nice if that were the case in the future.

"We have it all here." The shopkeeper emerged with a neatly packaged box in her hands.

Saeran watched as the box was opened and the contents revealed. He leaned in close and rummaged inside carefully. It seemed that everything he ordered was there: acrylic and oil paints, brushes, palette knives, primers, retarders, and mediums.

"Everything there?" Lux murmured.

"Yeah."

"Good." She nudged him gently.

Saeran closed the box and faced the shopkeeper, heart lurching. His face felt hot. "Uhm… thank you."

"You're welcome." She beamed.

"Thank you!" Lux said to the shopkeeper. "All right, let's go to lunch."

She moved to pick up the box, but Saeran swatted at her hands so he could lift it himself. "I want to look around a bit more."

"Oh? Okie-dokie. Then let me hold—"

"No." He made for the books aisle before she could reach for the box. He heard Lux rush behind him, but paid her no mind. His tutor recommended a theory book on the psychology of art; it sounded like an interesting read, but locating it in ordinary bookstores was hard. Perhaps a specialised arts supplies shop would have them.

"Saeran."

"What is it?" he glanced at Lux and saw her examining the books.

She looked at him and smiled. "Painting makes you happy, right?"

"Happy?" he stopped walking. That question was sudden. Sighing sharply, he cradled the box underneath one arm as he rubbed the back of his neck. He had to think about it; the answers that came to him were complicated at best and would require some time to untangle. Only one thing was clear, however: "I suppose… I feel peaceful when I paint."

"That's good."

"But, uhm…"

"Hmm?"

"Though I love painting the sky…" he dropped his hand, "I want to paint more things."

He looked at her and… he'd never seen someone's eyes sparkle so much—no, he had never seen someone's eyes sparkle at all. So such things were possible. Or was that one of her special talent, to look impossibly bright? "Then, how about a road trip?"

"Road trip?"

"A RFA road trip." Lux clapped her hands together, hopping on the spot. "Then you'll see things you want to paint, right? It would be good for Saeyoung to go too; he's in need of a break for a while now—oh, hang on." She retrieved the ringing mobile from her bag and tapped on the screen. She held the device in front of her face and waved. "Speak of the devil. Hello, my love!"

"My princess, I missed you so, so, so much!" Saeyoung's voice boomed throughout the aisle. Saeran cringed at the kissing noises he heard next. "What are you up to?"

She laughed. "I am on a date!"

"D-date!?" Saeyoung choked. Saeran watched from the sidelines as his brother tried to speak, but the words came out of his mouth in stuttered and confused bursts. "W-what? A d-date? B-but—what? With who?"

Lux, giggling, looked at Saeran and waved him over. Oh, good. He's getting roped in this too. He shuffled over and stood behind her, resting his chin on her shoulder so he could get into the view of the camera. He breathed deeply and said a very monotone: "Tada…"

"Saeran!" the extreme relief on Saeyoung's face was too obvious. He laughed. "I see. You're finished with class, then. Are you okay? Having fun with Lux?"

"She's all right."

"Wow, Saeran complimented me." Lux leaned her head against his and stroked his hair. It… wasn't unpleasant.

"Aw, I'm jealous. I want a compliment too—"

"Are you calling someone!?"

"Shit, busted—" Saeyoung looked over his shoulder as footsteps reverberated out of the speaker. The video shook. Saeran glimpsed a purple collar and a leopard print lined jacket. "Whoa—wait, Miss Vanderwood! I'm talking to the two most important people in my life right now!"

"I don't care if you're talking to God himself! You put that phone down and get to work!"

Saeran scowled. This idiot… "You're not done with work?"

"No." The video stabilised, showing Saeyoung's sheepish, but unapologetic expression. Just behind him was Vanderwood's torso. He was crossing his arms, fingers tapping impatiently. "I can't stop thinking about Lux and I can't focus… so…"

"So, you're procrastinating right now."

Saeyoung winced. "Well—"

"You're procrastinating."

"Turn the phone off!"

Vanderwood swatted at the phone and the video shook again. "Fine—back off, I will! Just let me say goodbye!" the video straightened, showing Saeyoung once more. Though he looked resigned, he was grinning as he waved. "Well, I have to go. I love you, Lux."

"I love you too."

His grin widened and he turned to Saeran. "Have fun, Saeran. Bring Lux back home safe, okay? Counting on you."

Saeran narrowed his eyes and said nothing. Without a shadow of a doubt he knew his brother would call Lux again in the next hour with another useless reason. Then he'd do it again… and again, extending his work hours well into the late night when he'd stay up and not sleep because he had to finish the work he put off. It's counterproductive, a waste, and unhealthy. He glanced at Lux, an idea forming in his mind.

Well, he'd put a stop to that behaviour right now.

He leaned over and kissed Lux on the cheek.

One second passed. Two. Saeyoung's face was frozen in shock. Lux, meanwhile, seemed to have transformed into a statue. God, he wanted to crack a smile. The two looked so similar in their surprise that if he were to overlap their faces he wouldn't be able to tell them apart. He remained silent and waited, wondering who would crack first.

"Ohhh!" Lux cried, cheeks reddening as she touched where he had kissed her.

"S-Saeran!" Saeyoung gasped, looking betrayed.

"She's cute." Saeran smirked at his brother, putting his hands on Lux's shoulders. "So… I won't bring her back home."

"You won't bring her back—?"

"Unless you finish your work."

"But—"

He scowled. "Finish your work."

"I—okay! I'll work." Saeyoung straightened, arranging his glasses with a determined look on his face. "I'll work. So give her back to me."

"Don't call again." Saeran reached out and ended the call. He stepped from Lux, blowing hair out of his eyes as though he hadn't just threatened to kidnap his brother's girlfriend. Not that he would, but… jolting someone into finishing their work was not a bad tactic sometimes.

"Forceful Saeran is scary."

He turned to Lux with a snort. She no longer looked shocked—rather, that sparkle returned in her eyes. "Idiot. Don't tell me you didn't enjoy that."

She stuck out her tongue. "A little bit."

He rolled his eyes, but the corners of his lips twitched up slightly. "Come on. I'm hungry."

"Let's go!"

The café was nearly at capacity. The patrons consisted mostly of young people in couples or groups. Saeran recognised some people from university. There were families there as well, spending time together, and workers on their lunchbreaks winding down. Saeran walked in first, his stomach fluttering at the bell tinkling as the door swung open. He released the door—then remembered that Lux was with him. Startled, he looked back and saw that she caught the door. She was smiling at him… again.

"Sorry," he said.

"It's okay," she chuckled. "Lead the way."

The exchange was over. He didn't have to repeat his apologies. It wasn't forced or beaten out of him. He didn't have to atone for his mistake—in fact, Lux seemed to have forgotten about it already. Confusion overtook him as pieces of his past and present clashed against each other. His mind oscillated fast between what should and should not be, creating a muddled ball of discomfort in the pit of his stomach. He closed his eyes and breathed deeply. When he opened them again he caught Lux peering at him with worry. Clearing his throat, he avoided her eyes and led her to an available table next to the window.

"Are you okay?" Lux asked as she sat across him.

"I am now," he answered, placing the box on the empty chair next to him.

She stared at him again. This time he held her gaze. She smiled. "Okay."

He sat back as she looked at the menu. The fluttering in his chest returned as he looked around—just looking. It wasn't as though he was specifically searching for something or someone. What other reason did he have other than to observe? He glanced at Lux and saw her staring at him, still smiling. "What?"

"I'm just honoured you took me to your favourite place."

His brows furrowed. "This isn't…"

She chuckled. "How did you find it?"

"It's… close to university," he said, adjusting the collar of his shirt.

"Ah. You come here often with friends?"

"I'm usually alone." His face warmed. Why was that? "Sometimes with classmates—not exactly friends. Saeyoung comes along too at times."

"That's wonderful. I hope I get to meet your classmates one day—"

"Saeran! Knew I wouldn't mistake that hair."

Saeran's heart stopped at the voice. The heat on his face crept down to his neck. It was a bad idea to come here—to bring Lux here. Half of him wanted to hide deep, deep in the ground. The other half, for some reason, wanted to bounce around like some hyper rabbit. Both of those feelings were not ideal to act on, surely. It'd make him look like a moron, wouldn't it? No. He had to act as normal as possible. As normal as possible. Saeran sighed and faced the owner of the voice. "Jinun… hi."

"Hi? Don't be a stiff—come here!"

In one second he was being pulled out of his chair. In the next he was enveloped in an embrace tighter than Saeyoung's. His nose pressed against a shirt that smelled like cologne, fresh laundry soap, and slightly burnt pastry. His face was now burning hotter than the sun… and the thought of Lux witnessing this made it supernova. He had the urge to reach out and cover her eyes from this embarrassment, but his arms wouldn't listen and simply hung by his sides.

"How are you? All right?" Jinun finally released him.

"Fine," Saeran replied, voice tight. From the corner of his eye he noticed Lux's shocked face.

"Good." Jinun patted his hair. "You know, I feel better now that I've seen you."

"Ah…" what's he supposed to say to that? "Oh." He turned to Lux. His stomach felt like it was doing backflips. Why was it doing that? It's distracting him, scrambling his mind into malfunctioning goo. "This is… uhm… this…"

"Hello, I'm Lux," she held her hand out.

"I am Jinun, Saeran's classmate." He took her hand and inclined his head to her.

"It's finally good to meet one of Saeran's classmates."

"Well, it's finally good to meet you."

Lux beamed as she released his hand. "You know me?"

Jinun nudged Saeran gently. "He's told me about you."

Her cheeks pinked and eyes sparkled as she glanced at Saeran. "Really?"

Saeran avoided her eyes. He didn't know what to think. He was certain that electricity had exploded from the spot where Jinun's shoulder brushed against his and it was paralysing him right now. "Just a passing mention."

"Still, I'm flattered!"

"Now that's the whole family, isn't it?" Jinun said, nudging him again.

"Sort of." It was just a nudge—a simple, sometimes annoying bumping of one appendage to another. Why was Saeran feeling electricity from the same spot every time Jinun nudged him?

"Sort of? Then, you'll let me meet the rest, right?" Jinun winked at him. Saeran's face heated up again and he looked down as he sank back into his seat. He didn't know what to say anymore. Embarrassment flooded his whole body when he heard Jinun chuckle. He wasn't being made fun of, was he? "So, what will it be?"

Saeran kept his head down. Lux and Jinun started talking; they were talking about the menu. With his thoughts turned inward, Saeran realised that his heart was pounding. He couldn't stop replaying what Jinun had said and done in his head. It was illogical—why was he focusing on these things? It wasn't particularly important or memorable, but he couldn't get it out of his head. Why was that?

"What would you like, Saeran?"

That. Nudging Again. He jumped when the menu slid underneath his gaze. He looked at Lux and she was smiling at him… again. Though this one seemed loaded… as if she knew something he didn't. He squirmed and quickly opened the menu, quickly perusing it for something simple. "Uhm… roast beef sandwich… and coke."

"Right. I'll take this order to the kitchen. Your drinks will be right out."

"Thank you!" Lux said.

Saeran closed the menu in time to see Jinun smile at him before walking away. He watched his classmate disappear into the kitchen. With a relieved sigh, he looked away—only to see Lux still smiling at him. "What?"

She giggled. "This place… is really nice, isn't it?"

He blinked. "Huh?"

In no time at all, Jinun returned carrying a tray of drinks and a small crystal vase holding a single red rose. He stopped before them, took a tall glass full of pink liquid and placed it in front of Lux. "Pink lemonade for the lady and a coke for Saeran." After placing the glass in front of Saeran, Jinun then planted the vase right next to it. "And a bonus—because it matches your hair."

Saeran choked.

"Your food will be served soon."

"Thank you!" Lux sang.

Saeran stared at the rose Jinun left. He was certain he was being gawked at because of that display, but he couldn't bring himself to verify. It matched his hair? Really? The reason was silly, but… for some reason it was making Saeran feel all sorts of warm inside. Should he reciprocate? What should he give? A flower as well? But it would be embarrassing if he gave a flower to another man, wouldn't it? He didn't know. Perhaps he could ask Lux about it.

"Uhm… hey—" Saeran looked at Lux—she was still smiling at him! "W-what now?"

"He's cute, isn't he?"

Saeran's face reddened. "H-how would I know!?" he blurted. "W-what's with that question!"

She laughed. "So cute!"

He sighed irritably. "Stop with the cute stuff or I'm really not taking you home."

"No, please return me to Saeyoung!" still chuckling, she produced her phone from her bag. She fiddled with the screen before pointing it at him. "Smile!"

Saeran scowled. "What? Why?"

"Because your face is so red it's matching the flower too!"

Saeran's eyes widened. He reached across the table to swipe at the phone. "O-oi—don't—"

"Got it!" he heard the unmistakeable click of the camera. She lifted the device to her face and began typing furiously. "Everyone in the messenger will be happy about this—"

"Don't put that in the messenger—!" Saeran tried swiping at the camera again, but Lux lifted it out of his reach.

"Too late!" laughing, Lux showed the screen to him. The chat bubbles from the messenger scrolled up quickly as the RFA members sent one message after another. Horrified, Saeran took the phone and nearly pressed it to his face. God, they're making fun of him, aren't they? They're disgusted by him, surely. This type of humiliation suited him; after everything he had done, he didn't deserve to have anything normal in his life—

ZEN: Saeran's got a crush on someone!?

ZEN: Unfair!

ZEN: You're supposed to let your elders go first!

Jumin Han: Then, should I be complaining more than you?

Jaehee Kang: ;;;;;

ZEN: Robots don't count lolol

Yoosung : He is blushing!

Yoosung : So cute!

Jaehee Kang: I believe this is the first time I have seen him flustered. ^^

Jaehee Kang: Congratulations on finding someone!

They're… they're not making fun of him. They seemed to be happy for him. The tension that stiffened all of Saeran's body left, making him slump against the chair in sudden exhaustion. The messages kept coming, becoming more ridiculous as the RFA now started throwing courting suggestions at him. As he continued to read a peculiar, uncontrollable feeling began to bubble from his chest. "They're… actually happy about it?"

"Well, of course they are—" Lux stopped as a snort escaped Saeran. They came unbidden, followed by chuckles that he couldn't control. It wouldn't stop. The chuckles turned into laughter. It was rough, husky, and strained—as if he hadn't used this part of him in forever. "Wow… Saeran's laughing."

"It's because—" he chortled, holding his stomach. God, it was beginning to hurt… but it was the good kind. "You're all weird—so weird!"

Lux quickly grabbed her phone out of his hands and he let her retrieve it as he concentrated on getting his laughter under control. It was surprisingly hard. The more he thought about what they said the more it made him want to laugh. He bowed over and pressed his forehead against the table, shoulders shaking.

"Well, you're stuck with us weirdos."

Finally, his laughter calmed and his mind cleared again. Stuck? Would he like that? At first all he thought about was being stuck. Here. In this life. He didn't like it. He wanted to leave it. He wanted freedom as soon as possible. Earlier today he thought how living was easier now, but at the same time he was aware that the darkness within him could return one day to drag him down completely.

But right now, somehow, everything was bright. It was as if the sun had burst into his life and made permanent residence there. In the moment he was certain he could live another day. And the day after that… and the day after that. He wiped the tears from his eyes and smiled gently at Lux. "That… wouldn't be so bad."

Notes:

1. Storge is a Greek word that refers to natural, instinctual, and familial love. From my research it seems to generally refer to actual blood related families, but I have also read that it could also describe relationship between lovers and friends. So I used the word as my title because it just seems to fit with Saeran (of course) and I feel with MC as well after the events of the Secret End.

2. I wrote this in 2016. I had just finished Seven's route, after end, and secret end. That was one hell of a time, but it did inspire me to make this and think about the future of the RFA after everything that had happened. Due to personal reasons I didn't get to post this then. I revisited this after finishing Saeran's route two or three days ago. I thought it wasn't finished... lo and behold it was. So, feeling a little courageous, I edited this to the best of my abilities and posted it.

3. In Seven's dream in the after end he hinted that Saeran was not interested in women so I wanted to explore that hint a bit more and gave him someone to crush on—Jinun. Jinun's mine, he's an original character and not part of Mystic Messenger at all. Hope you enjoyed him!

4. I imagined Saeran going to tertiary school after the secret ending. In the episodes I didn't think Saeran and Saeyoung went to school at all since they were imprisoned in their home. So I wanted to give him that opportunity. I chose art as his passion because in one of the episodes I remember V showing him photography. After hating V and shooting him, it'd make sense to me that Saeran wouldn't want to associate with photography, but would like to remain in the same field. Art is the next best thing I could think of.

One hell of a end note, but I just wanted to present more of my thoughts on this piece. I appreciate you reading and I hope you enjoyed. Feedback, as always, is welcome.