Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds. And if I did, I don't think I'd really want to. I mean, it's a direct rip off of Law and Order: Criminal Intent. I'll leave it up to you to determine which one I'm a fan of.
A/N: All right, if you read the disclaimer, you know I don't particularly like the show. I only watch it because my dad usually has it on and I'm too lazy to go in my room. Oh, and I'm in love with Dr. Reid. Can't forget about that.
Diffidence
He's shy. Timid, even. He doesn't volunteer information, instead he waits to be asked. People look at him like he's strange when he rattles off some obscure fact and you can tell he's embarrassed by his own genius. Even his friends give him that look sometimes.
Friends. Is that what they are to him? Does he consider their relationship one of camaraderie? Or simply one of people who work together? I believe he has learned from an early age not to trust others readily. I think that he has been betrayed before, and he is in no hurry to have it happen again.
As a child, he was probably a loner. He never has many friends, if any at all. but I think he had at least one; a girl, probably, based on his respect for women and tendency to shy away from men. She would have looked after him, defended him from the children more physically fit than himself. She was his savior, and the two were nearly inseparable. Rare was an occasion in which you would find one without the other. But what had lured her to him? Was it pity? Or simply a nurturing instinct to take a weaker being under her wing?
I suppose it would have been more the latter. He seems to be the type of person who finds pity scathing. He would rather be hated and ignored than pitied. He wouldn't allow someone like that to get so close. No, she viewed him as an equal, something he secretly strove for all his life. Sure, he had a higher level of intellect, but that didn't matter to her. All that mattered was that he was a person, not a freak.
WIth her help, he would have slowly came out of his shell. Bit by bit, he became more and more outgoing. Before long, he could stand up for himself. But she didn't leave, her job having been completed. No, she stayed with him. But for how long remains a mystery.
All I know is that something had to happen to force him to revert back to his old self. Her family may have moved away, there might have been an accident, or something else. I believe it would have taken an occurrence of that magnitude to drive her away from him. This person, who was like a doting older sister to him, was torn away. That's enough to reverse years and years of emotional development.
Whatever happened, it was a change for the worse. Every advancement he had made was undone. He reverted back to his old, secluded ways. The teasing resumed, and the recluse returned. And that was the way he remained.
I wonder what role his parents played in all this. Did they approve of her? I doubt it. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if they were at least partly responsible for her departure. They never supported him, in the nurturing sense of the word. That's why he needed her. They offered no guidance ,no support to help him get through the day. It's probable that they beat him as well, as if hitting him would take away the abnormality and give them a normal son.
And I bet he tried. She was gone and there was nothing for him to look forward to any more. But if he could do as they wanted, everything would be okay again. But he couldn't change. He couldn't help the way he was, and for that, he was punished.
To this day, he tries to fit in, but he never really will. Not until everyone around him can accept him for who is, and more importantly, until he can accept himself.
Mek, sorry for the typos, but I was in a real hurry. I'll go back and edit within the next few days.